Periods of your life when your friends started to worry about you

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I was getting up at 4am, doing three bongs, then mic'ing up a to a grandfather clock to a portable mixing desk, putting on my headphones, and dancing to the tick-tock for an hour or so. It was my own private little rave. I think that was a rather odd period of my life. I recently discovered my friends were talking to each other and had decided I was a goner, more or less. But I came back from the brink and I'm still here, AHAHAHA! And I credit those early morning grandfather clock raves for preserving my sanity and happiness. They were strange times, but good times.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Sunday, 20 July 2003 11:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I think the time my friends worried about me would be after (these things came very close together, but the connection is more complex than you will think) my so-close suicide attempt and the end of my 23 year marriage. Obviously I was seriously depressed (clinically as well as just miserable) and alone and all that. Many of them were great then, very helpful indeed, and I guess I'm over the worst now, I hope. Frankly, in a way, it could be said that it was the months up to the suicide attempt when they should have been worrying more, except they had no way of knowing how bad things were.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 20 July 2003 11:28 (twenty-two years ago)

1989-1997

a mic, 3 bongs, & a mixing board at 4am, there is nothing wrong with this. the solo dancing though??

― kephm, Sunday, 20 July 2003 12:24 (twenty-two years ago)

When I stabbed myself in the leg, also when I kept getting so drunk I didn't know where I was the next morning every weekend

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Sunday, 20 July 2003 12:36 (twenty-two years ago)

If my friends were ever worried about me, they've never said anything to me about it.

― Andrew (enneff), Sunday, 20 July 2003 12:40 (twenty-two years ago)

when i worked three jobs, 7 days a week for 9 months straight. i went to sonar in barcelona (working!) with a mate and he said i was being stupid and that everyone was worried about me. curiously i didn't care much but having someone tell me about it did make me realise that i'd been pretty grouchy, tired and stressed for a good few months...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Sunday, 20 July 2003 14:19 (twenty-two years ago)

1997-present

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 20 July 2003 14:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Probably the time I tried to kill myself at a party.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Sunday, 20 July 2003 14:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd worry myself shitless over you, Dan, as well after doing something like that. Would be a ball full of worry.

I'm thinking some of my relatives worry about Mom and me right now. 'Tis natural. I'm worrying about us, as well.

― Just Deanna (Dee the Lurker), Sunday, 20 July 2003 14:58 (twenty-two years ago)

when I saw the young woman that I thought I was dating walking around campus with her friend, both going up to the room of this big stud guy and I stalked around my freshman dorm room (Grays Middle represent!) saying things like "Broken glass would sound so good right now".

― Neudonym, Sunday, 20 July 2003 15:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I once slit (well, punctured) my wrist by mistake. All I was doing was mending a lamp with a penknife and it slipped and went straight in my wrist and blood sprayed all about the wall and over the ceiling of the room. At the hospital they put me into a special room of my own and the doctors were all asking me strange questions and not believing my answers. And none of my friends and family believed my story about the lampshade, either. And yet I was a perfectly happy extrovert fool. (Emphasis on the "fool", there, given the accident.) I wish someone had filmed the accident, so that I would have had proof - and also I might have earned some money off "You've Been Framed".

― thoth (Jake Proudlock), Sunday, 20 July 2003 15:18 (twenty-two years ago)

1994 through 1997 for a variety of idiotic drug, alcohol, insomnia induced mistakes

― anthony kyle monday (akmonday), Sunday, 20 July 2003 15:19 (twenty-two years ago)

better question: when did your friends stop caring about you?

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 20 July 2003 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

My friends are always worried about me. They're not stupid.

― Millar (Millar), Sunday, 20 July 2003 15:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I think mine are worried about me right now. I think if I wasn't a chick and most of them weren't dudes they'd kick my ass right now. . .

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Sunday, 20 July 2003 16:55 (twenty-two years ago)

1997-present

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 20 July 2003 17:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Is that when you developed Alzheimer's, strongo?

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 20 July 2003 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

strongo shd we be worrying more now than 4.5 hours ago?

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 20 July 2003 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

that was in response to jody

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 20 July 2003 18:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Please don't smash me, Sir Hulkington

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 20 July 2003 18:21 (twenty-two years ago)

strongo is the best name ever.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Sunday, 20 July 2003 18:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Right now. Overwork will slowly break you down even as it conditions you not to feel its horrible beak, gnawing away at your bowels. A giant bird spitting venom and anaesthetic into the flesh.

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Sunday, 20 July 2003 18:26 (twenty-two years ago)

The only time my friends ever worried about me was when Soul Coughing broke up. They were talking to me in the sort of voice you'd use when speaking to someone whose grandmother had just died.

People seem to never worry about me much. Is it because I'm big and strong and usually can take care of myself physically? Do they think that means I also can take care of myself emotionally?

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 21 July 2003 03:47 (twenty-two years ago)

My friends are worried more now than they were in 1994 when I was on meds for depression. I wish they'd just leave me alone.

― Bryan (Bryan), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:22 (twenty-two years ago)

(most of my real life friends, I mean)

― Bryan (Bryan), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:40 (twenty-two years ago)

those are the ones that matter the most....

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I just can't bear to face them. It's my problem, of course. I hate disappointing people.

― Bryan (Bryan), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:43 (twenty-two years ago)

then don't disappoint them.
there are only a few rules in life: don't lie, cheat, or steal.
do not do to others what you would not want them to do to do.
if you don't break those, how are you disappointing them?

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't want to get into it here. I've said too much already. Sorry about that.

― Bryan (Bryan), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:47 (twenty-two years ago)

i didn't mean for you to reply, just to think about it.

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:49 (twenty-two years ago)

That's just about all I do these days.

― Bryan (Bryan), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:49 (twenty-two years ago)

2000-present
Since I started on medication and seeing therapists because I was having really deep and brutal depressive spells. The friends I talked to about this worried about me, and still do. Which is comforting, though it's hard not to feel like a charity case, sometimes.

― Prude (Prude), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, at least you sought some help! Give yourself a break!
You are not a charity case, you are courageous and brave and responsible.

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:53 (twenty-two years ago)

It can be tough having friends with whom you discuss your problems, since that can easily become the entire basis of the friendship. Certain friends and I take turns pulling each other back from the edge of the cliff. You might even "punch up" your own depression if the dynamic of the friendship demands it.

― Prude (Prude), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Thanks, Orbit. That's nice of you to say.

― Prude (Prude), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:57 (twenty-two years ago)

The Dynamic: Well, that is what a therapist is for, to work past that.
The thanks: Thanks, but it's not nice, I really believe it/mean it.

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:58 (twenty-two years ago)

You're right, Prude, which is what I was getting at. I want my friends to just be my buddies, but they can't of course. You're sweet as pie, though, Orbit.

― Bryan (Bryan), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:59 (twenty-two years ago)

what friends?!

― M Matos (M Matos), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:59 (twenty-two years ago)

My friends started worrying about me when I:

a) took some training which led me to my current (and reasonably lucrative) vocation
b) got a steady girlfriend, was having way more sex than they were
c) stopped smoking dope (although i see the error here ...)
d) stopped stealing shit
e) made plans to move away

In that case I eventually realized my friends were more the problem than me.

― fields of salmon (fieldsofsalmon), Monday, 21 July 2003 05:02 (twenty-two years ago)

It's easy to feel that way, when it seems that it's always you that has problems, needs support and help, etc. There are generally a lot of ways that you reciprocate support even if you don't consider it as support or whatever.

I'm sure my friends worry about me now, but since my particular probs have lasted quite a while now, they know that I can deal with this shit. Kinda.

xpost--I'm too fucking tired to know what I was responding to though. Hope it makes some modicum of sense anyway.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Monday, 21 July 2003 05:02 (twenty-two years ago)

That's true. I just feel like I'm a sympathy hog, sometimes. Which, as Orbit said, is why you go to therapy. But I try to reciprocate, be there for them to talk, things like that. I just worry about it turning into a sick kind of one-upmanship. Like, okay, he's depressed, now I have to be that much more depressed! The friendship should be a way of overcoming the depression, or at least getting through it, rather than a way of perpetuating it. I'm probably thinking too much about it, though.

― Prude (Prude), Monday, 21 July 2003 05:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Fields of Salmon, that is a grade-A classic post.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Monday, 21 July 2003 05:26 (twenty-two years ago)

People worried about me through all sorts of minor and stupid shit that meant very little. And when I really *needed* to be worried about, it had got to the point where no one believed me anymore/cared. So there you go.

If the baby is complaining, the baby is fine. If the baby STOPS complaining, the baby is dead.

― kate (kate), Monday, 21 July 2003 07:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I've never known if anyone's ever worried about me.

― hstencil, Monday, 21 July 2003 07:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Around about the time of gthe chest pains and the drunken, teary phone calls in 2000 when I was in my second year at uni, travelling the country loads going to gigs, and drinking a lot. Waking up on strangers' floors, shitting myself in public, missing a term's worth of English seminars- I was, it's fair to say, a mess.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 21 July 2003 07:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Nick, if your second year of Uni *isn't* like that, then something is wrong. ;-)

― kate (kate), Monday, 21 July 2003 07:54 (twenty-two years ago)

True, but my first year had been quite odd too in a different way, and the sudden change weirded a couple of people out. Lots of Sartre and crying about perfume and smoking lots of dope and walking through notoriously dangerous bits of Northampton at 2am listening to Ride incredibly loud because I wanted to get stabbed and drinking myself unconscious with tequila and threatening to set people on fire and so on.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 21 July 2003 07:57 (twenty-two years ago)

But the main reason they started worrying was because I had stopped worrying! Which is cool. And I am now the most laid-back man in the world, so it's all good.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 21 July 2003 07:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh yeah I had a lamer version of that, drew Xs on my hands, got completely drunk and went to a straightedge gig. My friends left cos I was being too much of a dick to the punks, I got beaten up and I deserved it, really. Or I got beaten up the night before/after, I don't remember

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:57 (twenty-two years ago)

actually i don't anyone has ever worried about me, now that i think about it.
i wasn't part of the equation.

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 21 July 2003 13:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't reward worry, so it never lasts long.

― Aaron A., Monday, 21 July 2003 13:53 (twenty-two years ago)

''what friends?!''

yes. what friends?

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:26 (twenty-two years ago)

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