"Just good friends" c/d; alternatively ts: wave goodbye or stick around

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hi all, 'scuse the anony-posting here. the only reason for it is that i don't really want this thread to be googlable in relation to me, not that i'm bothered abt having any of my fellow ilx0rs knowing abt this. (you may well work out who i am without having to dig too far anyway). right, down to business: the deal is that i am totally nuts abt someone, she's amazing, beautiful, funny, clever and pretty much just all a' that. i've known her for years and have always kinda hoped that one day we would end up together properly, like - especially now. unfortunately it doesn't seem that she has exactly the same plan for us and i'm pretty gutted. we have a pretty complicated realtionship history andhaven't always been what you could call straight-up "friends" so when she says this is what we are supposed to be, well, i'm sorry, it doesn't really do much for me other than make me feel like shit. (for a start, we're not and it's totally dishonest for me to pretend we are). i really don't know whether to try to walk away from this, stick it out and hope for the best or what... so, your thoughts: can we be friends or would this be a total disaster, do i stay or do i go?

― v ticked off, Sunday, 20 July 2003 13:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Why have you two never managed to get together properly? Has the timing been wrong (i.e. you were never both single at the same time)? Indicating that you and she have been 'more than friends' at times makes me wonder why you haven't managed to get-it-together before. Can you give us any more background to help us advise you?

― C J (C J), Sunday, 20 July 2003 14:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Go for a while and let her miss you? Respond to a (good) call and return. I don't know, though. Yeah, more background might help.

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Sunday, 20 July 2003 14:07 (twenty-two years ago)

btw, if you think i'm being a dick then feel free to say so... and yeah, it's just been that we've never really been single at the same times or distance and other factors have got in the way, or so i had hoped...

― v ticked off, Sunday, 20 July 2003 14:09 (twenty-two years ago)

There was once a guy with whom I was besotted, and had been for years. One night (after much booze) he made a pass at me yet I turned him down because I liked him too much. I thought that ending up in bed with him might well ruin our friendship, and I didn't want that to happen. I figured that being 'just friends' with him would last longer and be worth more than a quick shag, and he agreed and seemed very cool about it. We remained friends. Later, on several occasions over the years, we did end up sleeping together - but he never made any attempt to ask me out properly, and we sort of drifted into this fuck buddy thing.

I was still besotted with him all this time, and found the whole thing very upsetting. After a couple of years of this, I couldn't stand it any longer and moved far, far away from the guy and got on with my life elsewhere. I never really got over him though, and did spend a lot of time wondering 'what if'.

By a series of coincidences, we re-established contact about two years ago and after umpteen light-hearted and meaningless emails he told me how much he regretted the fact that we had never been a proper couple because I had only wanted us to be friends and how difficult and upsetting the whole era had been for him. I had never realised.

I'm not sure how useful this little story is to you in your situation, other than to say that proper, honest communication is urgent + key. Perhaps she wants to be 'just friends' because she's scared of messing things up between you.

― C J (C J), Sunday, 20 July 2003 14:21 (twenty-two years ago)

C J, your story is eerily familiar to me.

― Paul Eater (eater), Sunday, 20 July 2003 14:25 (twenty-two years ago)

mmm, depressingly familiar...

― v ticked off, Sunday, 20 July 2003 14:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Make your move on her.If you don't,you will end up going mad because you can't have her,and the friendship will die.If you do,and she gives you a go,what's the worst that can happen?It may not work out,and the friendship dies.Bear in mind that even if you do get together,and things don't go the way you want them to,you can go back to being just friends,safe in the knowledge that you gave it a try and you were better off as pals.Don't walk away without giving it a go,and not a half-hearted go either.If you do turn away,you will spend the rest of your life wondering.........so go and face it like a dude!

― Eugene Speed (Eugene Speed), Sunday, 20 July 2003 14:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Walk away. Run away. And don't look back. And don't start romanticising the horror of your situation.

RICHIE
I can’t stop thinking about you. I went
away for a year, and it only got worse.
I don’t know what to do.

MARGOT
Let’s lie down for a minute.
Richie lies down on the cot. Margot looks at his Boy Scout
sleeping bag.

MARGOT (CONT’D)
This is the one we took to the museum,
isn’t it?
Richie nods. Margot sighs. She lies down next to Richie and
puts her arm around his shoulder. She smooths back his hair.
They listen to the music for a minute.

MARGOT (CONT’D)
Why’d you do it? Because of me?

RICHIE
Yeah, but it’s not your fault.

MARGOT
You’re not going to do it again, are
you?

RICHIE
(pause)
I doubt it.

Margot nods. She starts crying. She kisses Richie’s hand.
Richie looks worried. Margot gets up and goes out of the
tent. Richie sits alone for a minute. Margot looks back
into the tent.

MARGOT
I think we’re just going to have to be
secretly in love with each other and
leave it at that, Richie.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 20 July 2003 14:31 (twenty-two years ago)

The guy I knew was a bit of 'a lad', y'see, and I didn't want to be just another one of the laydees who passed meaninglessly through his bedroom. Telling him that I didn't want to be any more than friends wasn't any sort of game-playing tactic (I am rubbish at games and wouldn't know how to play one if I tried), but was genuinely the only way I thought I would be able to keep him in my life for any length of time. I figured that a long-lasting friendship would be the better option, and although I always secretly hoped he would come to his sense and realise how wonderful we would have been for each other, I never really expected he would. I was stunned to discover later that my "let's just be friends" talk had dashed his hopes. I wish I had handled it differently, but then hindsight is a marvellous thing.

I don't know what to suggest in your situation. Have you actually asked her out (not just as friends, but as a proper date)? If you have told her how crazy you are about her and always have been, maybe it's just all too overwhelming for her and you need to cool it down slightly to let things develop more slowly so that she's not scared off by it all.

― C J (C J), Sunday, 20 July 2003 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

well, i've pretty much spilt my guts on this one and i think she was a bit taken aback...

― v ticked off, Sunday, 20 July 2003 14:47 (twenty-two years ago)

What did she say? A definite "no way" or just stunned silence?

― C J (C J), Sunday, 20 July 2003 14:50 (twenty-two years ago)

well, she was pretty surprised but i don't really see how she could be and then went quiet and basically said she didn't want to screw up what we've got... but if what we've got involves one of us (possibly two?) having to lie all the time, then that's not really worth much, is it?

― v ticked off, Sunday, 20 July 2003 14:56 (twenty-two years ago)

No, it's not.

Can you explain to me how things were when you "weren't always just straight-up friends"? Presumably you have slept together on occasion - did you just go your separate ways in the morning and not ever talk about how you might be feeling?

She may be protecting herself from you because you might have acted like a jerk towards her in the past and she doesn't want to get hurt. (apologies if this is not the case, obv)

― C J (C J), Sunday, 20 July 2003 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

My advice is to agree to just be good friends and then be one. And soon enough you will be alone one day with her when she realises that after all you are the best one, and then it will all fall into place from there.

― thoth (Jake Proudlock), Sunday, 20 July 2003 15:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm with Eugene - you should make a move. If she's scared of messing up the friendship, then the friendship isn't all that brilliant to start with - because true friendships can withstand this sort of thing. Added to which, carrying on the way you are (or walking away from it altogether) will destroy your friendship much faster.

Point out to her that the very best relationships in the entire world are the ones where the person you are romantically involved with is first and foremost a friend. I speak as one who knows.

― C J (C J), Sunday, 20 July 2003 15:13 (twenty-two years ago)

no i wasn't a jerk to her she's got nothing to be scared of at all...

― v ticked off, Sunday, 20 July 2003 15:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Point out to her that the very best relationships in the entire world are the ones where the person you are romantically involved with is first and foremost a friend.

that's kinda what i'm thinking.

― v ticked off, Sunday, 20 July 2003 15:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you really believe she has feelings for you which she is refusing to acknowledge, or is this just wishful thinking on your part? (be honest)

― C J (C J), Sunday, 20 July 2003 15:44 (twenty-two years ago)

nah, i think it's pretty safe to say she has, though

― v ticked off, Sunday, 20 July 2003 16:02 (twenty-two years ago)

that was: nah, i think it's pretty safe to say she has, though who knows...

― v ticked off, Sunday, 20 July 2003 16:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Mind reading and guesswork is a really rubbish way to try and get any relationship off the ground. I presume you've never actually told her about your feelings for her before now?

Has she ever said or done anything to make you think she might have reciprocal feelings for you?

― C J (C J), Sunday, 20 July 2003 16:14 (twenty-two years ago)

i've skirted around the issue badly enough for her to know. and yes she has... it's not all guesswork

― v ticked off, Sunday, 20 July 2003 16:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Then in that case, ask her out on a proper date. As long as there is no impediment preventing this (i.e. either of you already have a current partner).

You said she was taken aback when you told her exactly how you felt, so all your skirting about up to this point hasn't sunk in. Sometimes people can be too subtle for their own good, and whilst you think you have been dropping massive hints she has obviously missed a lot of them for some reason.

Phone her up and ask her out right now. Go on.

― C J (C J), Sunday, 20 July 2003 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

We go out quite a lot already so this will be completely missed... and my hints have been bordering on gargantuan nad they're not hints any more... i think she's pretty set on the being friends thing and was more bothered about whether i am being an asshole saying that i can't do it...

― v ticked off, Sunday, 20 July 2003 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

i think cj is right in this situation and you should pursue, otherwise you will be left with the 'what if' situation, and if it spoils things it spoils things, if you dont its going to be spoilt for you anyway? if shes all against it then at least it is her decision, and theres no "oh i didnt know you felt like that" down the line. as to what happens afterwards if it is negative, well, i dont know, that depends on you, but i'd suggest keeping on being friends but backing off and, as andrew, says, let her miss you a little. go out and have great life in meantime, and, even if it doesnt work out, you are improving best of life.

i went through a very similar situation a couple of years ago, and although it now no longer matters, i totally screwed it up, and although that is now all done and dusted i regret that i didnt handle things better, even if only because i dont like to mess things up

― gareth (gareth), Sunday, 20 July 2003 16:39 (twenty-two years ago)

dude its no good saying you are have been 98% obvious about it! you will have that 2% doubt. go the full 100. cards. table.

― gareth (gareth), Sunday, 20 July 2003 16:40 (twenty-two years ago)

"Have dinner with me on Friday night. Just the two of us. It will be a date and I will not take no for an answer"

― C J (C J), Sunday, 20 July 2003 17:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't get it - he's already said that he's told her and that she just wants to be friends despite past (drunken?) encounters. He can't handle that, at the moment at least. Fine, it sucks. Tell her that you can't handle it if you like, but I don't see how it could be a date. After that, just try not to see her too much.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 20 July 2003 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't believe the crap advice you're getting here. Say, OK, we'll just be friends, and then see loads of her. Trust me, she will crack, and I predict that will happen in a small amount of time.

― thoth (Jake Proudlock), Sunday, 20 July 2003 18:46 (twenty-two years ago)

"Crack"? Oh dearie me. I cannot see this as at all a useful attitude to serious relationships.

Be honest and go for it, I think. It may be that her feelings for you, for some reason, don't make it feasible, but making it clear how strongly and deeply you feel has to be worth a try. Good luck, whatever.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 20 July 2003 19:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Well yeah thoth, but if she doesn't 'crack' then it might be hard for him to carry on seeing her much if it makes him burn up anew every time. Yeah, try it, but if after a few months he still can't let go then there's no shame in just avoiding her. Maybe think of it like an addiction.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 20 July 2003 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't imagine 'cracking' for anyone.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 20 July 2003 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

She cracked, I won't!

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Sunday, 20 July 2003 20:39 (twenty-two years ago)

If it were me, I would just walk away from the entire situation. You seem like you won't be very comfortable with being "just friends" right now, so why make yourself miserable by hanging around her?

― Larcole (Nicole), Sunday, 20 July 2003 20:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Tell her to put out, or get out.

― Mandee, Sunday, 20 July 2003 20:44 (twenty-two years ago)

walking away option = best to me... i'm with nick it wouldn't be a date coz it's all been said now, just preceded by a lot of whopping great hints and general annoyances. all i wanted to know is whether it's a bad thing to walk away from it all (at least for a while) and ehther i'm being a dick to her by doing so as that's the last thing i want to be!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Sunday, 20 July 2003 21:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Tell her to put out, or get out.

I love you Mandee.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 20 July 2003 22:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Dave, just so there's no bad feeling leading on from misunderstanding, it might be as well to just say to her, look it's not your fault of course but I'm just going to have to see less of you until I get over this thing. Anyone with an iota of humanity will understand that.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 20 July 2003 22:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe I was wrong to use the word "crack", but, and I know this will invite derision upon me, but with good techniques it is possible to get most women interested. The key is to make them come want you. One one of the keys to that is making yourself desirable. The last way to do that is to make yourself seem desperate for THEM. So I repeat the advice. Agree entirely to be just be good friends. Be enigmatic. Make her want you. She will.

― thoth (Jake Proudlock), Monday, 21 July 2003 09:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Sory about the crap typing of that last post. But you get the drift.

― thoth (Jake Proudlock), Monday, 21 July 2003 09:59 (twenty-two years ago)

SHIT!

― thoth (Jake Proudlock), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Thoth is basically saying play hard to get. I think Dave's had enough of playing anything.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I think that if I were in this situation I would probably settle for just being good friends although I wanted much more, somthing being better than nothing & all. This would NOT be my advice though! I think that you should sit her down again & say that you cannot carry on with the friendship when you are having these feelings about her. Tell her that you need to know for sure how she feels. If the friendship is destined to last, it will. All of this 'it could ruin the friendship' is rubbish. She either wants it or she doesnt. If she doesnt then you have to decide whether you could cope with being just friends & surpressing your feelings for what could be forever.
(I hope it all works out for u.)

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:07 (twenty-two years ago)

i wasn't really looking for advice on my specific situation here, more wondering whether being friends w/ someone you care for, like, stupid amounts can work and whether any of you have had happy experiences doing it as it's something that, luckily enough, i've had no dealings with - until now. i'm not one of those blokes who says men and women can't be friends coz that's plainly arse if that's what both parties want, but i do firmly beileve that it's bloody difficult to do it if one doesn't.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:30 (twenty-two years ago)

and i shouldn't be thinking about this sort of stuff at my age anyway - i'm only 35 years away from a bus pass, for crying out loud...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I am actually of the opinion that males & females cannot be purely platonic friends. *waits whilst she gets her ass kicked from all sides* i am not saying that something will always happen between them, it wont. i am saying that one or both of the parties at one time or another will feel slightly more for the other (i.e. more than just friends). It is different say if you are friends with your mate's b/f or a similar situ. I just dont think it can happen on a level male to female basis. This is the way it has been in my experience & has proved itself to be true, time & time again.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:37 (twenty-two years ago)

i have four or five v.close long-standing platonic g/fs (i've known one of them for nearly 25 yrs)

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Have u ever felt attracted to them on a more than friends level? Have they you (bearing in mind this is not always discussed)? If not, then well done you.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:48 (twenty-two years ago)

i cannot vouch for every watch of the night ever but i am fairly sure no hearts have been crushed

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh no, i dont mean any lasting depth of feelings or anything. Usually drunken one nighters or a passing fancy.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:54 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, it's totally cool if you both want the same thing - i have two friends who i absolutely adore, but don't want to be with as partners at all and they feel the same way abt me. it's nice. but that's just good friends with no quote marks... the quote marks are key to this partic situation...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:57 (twenty-two years ago)

if a passing fancy counts then platonism is overthrown!!

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:58 (twenty-two years ago)

to wildly misquote chuck d, "plato never meant shit to me", at leat as far as this particular fiasco is concerned

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:03 (twenty-two years ago)

and on a serious note, does passing fancy counting really overthrow plato? not being big on classical philosophy i don't know abt this... what was his view exactly? mark, you'll be able to sum this up in one paragraph or less, go on!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:12 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, I've been trying to sort out my feelings on this subject.

Personally, I can *not* stay friends with someone who has rejected me. It doesn't matter if the other person was a boyfriend, or just a love interest. If a play and a rejection has occured - even if it's perfectly obvious that the rejection has nothing to do with me - then my heart is broken, or perhaps more importantly, my pride is wounded, and I will never be able to deal with that person on an even level again. I just cannot do it, and I don't understand how people can.

I've had quasi "what if" scenarios develop into good and long-lasting friendships, because if you are friends with someone deep enough and long enough, you will get to see them warts and all, in how they react in other relationships, and you may end up with this sense of "wow, I'm relieved that didn't happen, because it wouldn't have worked, and we have this nice friendship now instead."

But once you've put your cards on the table and lost, that's it. Game over. Move on. I've lost friends this way, and yeah, it sucks. But that is the way that I am.

If something were going to happen between me and a potential partner, it would happen, and happen quickly. (Maybe too quickly in some cases, where I should have waited and found out that the person was a cunt, but you know, you pays yer money, you takes yer chances.)

If you really have put your cards on the line with this person, Dave, and you've been (politely) rejected with the "just friends" line, then walk away. If the person really means it, and wants the friendship to happen, then it will happen given time (and given that your pride recovers - damaged pride heals far more slowly than a broken heart). If you are able to come to see that person as "just friends" than you will be friends. But otherwise, it is a damaging situation.

Males and females *can* be platonic friends, but only if there isn't sexual tension, or if the sexual tension has been dealt with in a non-ego-damaging way.

― kate (kate), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Which boils down to... Dave, did she break your heart or wound your pride? Your heart will heal when you meet someone else. Your pride never will.

― kate (kate), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:40 (twenty-two years ago)

His pride might. Mine has, several times.

― RickyT (RickyT), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah - I can get over damage to pride much more easily than damage to the heart.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:42 (twenty-two years ago)

mmm, i suppose both but not intentionally. i have not a single bad thing to say about her other than that she is mental for not snapping me up right away!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Mine hasn't. Ever. Pride is stronger than love. Much stronger. ::feels edge-style guitar solo coming on so shuts up::

― kate (kate), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Perhaps it is Pride in the name of Love.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Why do conversations always have to end up being about U2? This is demented and sad.

― Larcole (Nicole), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Perhaps I am just prejudiced.

― kate (kate), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Love is stronger than pride

― Sade + M Mayer (RickyT), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:48 (twenty-two years ago)

This is demented and sad.

this actlly applies to the whole thread nicole, but bringing up U2 on a thread based on my misery is hardly fair kate...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Love is not stronger than pride. That is total and complete bollocks. Terminate with extreme Pride and Prejudice!

― kate (kate), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Pride comes before a Fall-ah!

― RickyT (RickyT), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I think we need to get Paul King to ajudicate on this matter.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:52 (twenty-two years ago)

paul king has a terrible stutter now - we'd be here all week

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:54 (twenty-two years ago)

And, on the wider question Paul Nicholas and Jan Francis.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:54 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.80s.gr.jp/illust/s-14.jpg

PUT YOUR BOOTS ON!

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Paul Nicholas and Jan Francis

well it didn't work for them, did it...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 12:14 (twenty-two years ago)

the pride thing is of no consequence. wounded pride heals in, like, 5 seconds

― gareth (gareth), Monday, 21 July 2003 13:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Bollocks. I have pride-wounds that are 5 YEARS old that haven't healed.

― kate (kate), Monday, 21 July 2003 13:16 (twenty-two years ago)

now you have hurt my pride:(

― gareth (gareth), Monday, 21 July 2003 13:19 (twenty-two years ago)

s'ok, its healed now;)

― gareth (gareth), Monday, 21 July 2003 13:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't worry. I've not forgotten.

― kate (kate), Monday, 21 July 2003 13:23 (twenty-two years ago)

i know what you mean kate, but pride doesn't really come into this at all...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 13:23 (twenty-two years ago)

There was a girl. She was my friend. I was crazy about her. We hung out and eventually I assumed that she wasn't into me in that sorta way. We remain friends for years. Another woman ends up bearing my child. They become friends also. The baby's momma leaves me. A couple years go by. I see the "there was a girl" girl after a very long time. She calls me that night. We "hook up". Sometime during these stages of our being-together she tells me about how she had wanted to be with me for a very long time, back to the beginning. Then to my surprise, she breaks it off after 3 weeks. She says A) "I like you too much", B) "if only it had happened back then", and C) "If only I weren't such good friends with your ex". We're back to friends again. (This is the part I've been building up to...)But who knows what the future might hold? < /pathetic optimist...or is he?>

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 21 July 2003 13:45 (twenty-two years ago)

There was a girl. She's my best friend. I have tested the waters of physical intimacy and they weren't friendly. I have been very restrained since, not wanting to press the issue. The friendship has been great. But I still want her. But she's recently single and is sleeping around with hoodrats in a non-too-discreet manner which sirta hurts my feelings. Am I crazy? No I'm not crazy. I wouldn't do that to her if the tables were turned.

Anyway I'm about to end our frienship because it's getting too painful. OK and for revenge! But really, what she's doing sucks. Someone slap me.

― guy mcguy, Monday, 21 July 2003 14:04 (twenty-two years ago)

geez, forgive the careless typing!

― guy mcguy, Monday, 21 July 2003 14:05 (twenty-two years ago)

how do you *know* she's sleeping around, eh?

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Because she's indiscreet. I'm not being paranoid.

― guy mcguy, Monday, 21 July 2003 14:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I wouldn't do that to her if the tables were turned.

What do you expect her to do, rein in her sex life until you get over her? That's a bit of an ask.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Because she's indiscreet. I'm not being paranoid.

And so what if she is? That's really your problem, not hers.

― Larcole (Nicole), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Nicole, will you stop agreeing with me on this thread. It's creeping me out.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

But don't you take some measure to protect the feelings of your sad little Ducky Bob? Fuck. I guess I'm mad that in all the time we've spent together she's never ever given me a go. I can be mad about that, right? No I guess not. sigh.

― [name deleted], Monday, 21 July 2003 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

mmm, you can't stop being friends coz she's seeing someone, but i do vaguely understand, i suppose, ish, in a way, er... not very much at all to be honest. my problem is that my would-be good friend always goes out with total cockfarmers. ok i'm biased and will dislike anyone she sees just because, but they genuinely, genuinely are. it's not nice to be around to pick up the bits when things go wrong and every time one of them hurts her or treats her badly, it really gets to me... i just think, well, it wouldn't happen if... oh you know... arrrrggghh!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Nicole, will you stop agreeing with me on this thread. It's creeping me out.

It's okay. I am convinced you are being puckish and insouciant and do not mean a word you say so there is no agreement.

― Larcole (Nicole), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:18 (twenty-two years ago)

[name deleted], by all means be angry with her, write bitter songs about her as long as you realise intellectually that she doesn't deserve it. btw did you mean to unanonymise yourself? Is this the new thing?

Nicole, I'm as serious as cancer.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:21 (twenty-two years ago)

"puckish" is such a great, great word!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Nicole, I'm as serious as cancer.

But not as pretty.

― Larcole (Nicole), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Eep. Hope she's having a busy day at work...

Thanks for the sage, however fun-hating, advice.

― [name deleted], Monday, 21 July 2003 14:29 (twenty-two years ago)

You're posting this about some who reads ILE? Mentalist.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I did not mean to post my name, not even that last time. It's either cookies or I need some sleep.

― sdkf, Monday, 21 July 2003 14:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you want me to obscure them?

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:36 (twenty-two years ago)

i didn't mean to post mine either but once i'd outed myself it was too late...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

YES, thanks N.

― 2g4fd, Monday, 21 July 2003 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

i fyou wouldn't mind doing same i'd be grateful

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry, but I'm not doing yours Dave - there are just too many posts. And editing posts slows down the server.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:43 (twenty-two years ago)

no bother... was too late by time i'd done it once thought it wld be there for life anyway!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

N. are you saying that that movie scene is overly romantic?

― m.s (m .s), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 08:02 (twenty-two years ago)

No, yes, I don't know. Don't make me cry again.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 08:16 (twenty-two years ago)

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