I want to bring a plague upon my upstairs neighbours, how can I do it?

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Basically, my upstairs neighbours have their lawn chairs all set up around around what is essentially my living room window (as I live in the basement). I want to make it unfeasible for them to have their lawn chairs there, due to the massive annoyance factor of looking out my living room window to see somebody's fucking feet.

1. How could I go about attracting an extremely localized swarm of insects? I thought briefly about putting honey on the underside of one of the lawn chairs, but I wasn't sure that would work. I need like maggots and slugs and shit to start showing up constantly.

2. Could I render the location uninhabitable through some sort of odour-creating means? Sure I could stuff a dead fish somewhere, but I'm pretty sure it would be discovered. I need this whole thing to appear as if completely natural.

3. What about low-level psychological interference? Can I cheaply construct a white noise generator or something else to fuck with their heads in an extremely subtle way?

fields of salmon (fieldsofsalmon), Monday, 21 July 2003 01:30 (twenty-two years ago)

You know 1, 2, and 3 will all end up backfiring on you.

s1utsky (slutsky), Monday, 21 July 2003 01:44 (twenty-two years ago)

you can buy locusts online

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 21 July 2003 01:44 (twenty-two years ago)

http://216.239.51.104/search?q=cache:I4p5KaMNsXgJ:www.easyexotics.co.uk/shop/en-gb/dept_28.html+buy+bulk+locusts&hl=en&ie=UTF-8

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 21 July 2003 01:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Do they still sell rotten egg gas balls at practical joke shops?

colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Monday, 21 July 2003 03:23 (twenty-two years ago)

why dont you just let them know you wank while watching their feet, it gets you off

Mike Hanle y (mike), Monday, 21 July 2003 03:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Woah ... this is fucked ...

I may not have to worry about these neighbours for much longer. In the past two hours a situation has developed that may cause me to have to extricate myself from the premises tomorrow night ...

However, my extremely intoxicated girlfriend will likely sober up and may realize the error of tossing me out. I could be here for a while ....

I like Jess' suggestion the best, except I would probably not buy online to reduce the chance of postal mortality. I think a local pet shop would have perfectly good grasshoppers and crickets (crickets having the untoward benefit of making a chirpy racket underneath their bedroom window) and I like to support local businesses anyway ...

fields of salmon (fieldsofsalmon), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:57 (twenty-two years ago)

an ILXor has also emailed me to suggest I "discuss the situation with them"

uh, duh! Clear you are missing the point (unless you're my neighbour -- hi gals!)

i want a plague, not a discusssion.

fields of salmon (fieldsofsalmon), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:58 (twenty-two years ago)

hide the chairs
then hide them again
repeat

kephm, Monday, 21 July 2003 07:25 (twenty-two years ago)

What about low-level psychological interference? Can I cheaply construct a white noise generator or something else to fuck with their heads in an extremely subtle way?

1. Insert this CD into your stereo.
2. Crank the volume all the way up.
3. Press play, press repeat.
4. Leave immediately, lock your door, go on vacation.
4. The National Guard will take care of your neighbours. Or the whole neighbourhood. Depends on how good your stereo is.

Sommermute (Wintermute), Monday, 21 July 2003 08:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I just added that to my wish list. It sounds ace.

Fields - smoke them out as if they were the plague.

Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 21 July 2003 08:39 (twenty-two years ago)

one year passes...
so, what happened?

i had neighbors who did this last summer. they also had a fire pit in their tent. i sort of miss them in the same way i miss ronald reagan

kephm (kephm), Monday, 25 October 2004 19:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Oddly enough, Hanle y's suggestion is the most practical.

n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 25 October 2004 19:33 (twenty-one years ago)

quite handy

kephm (kephm), Monday, 25 October 2004 19:48 (twenty-one years ago)


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