I've just hit 30...

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my personal life is fucked, i don't like my job much but i need it in order to pay off loans credit cards etc, i wish i was writing more and doing what i love instead of making other people look better than they are for more money than me and i don't own anywhere to live. i just typed my age into something and i just realised for the first time, properly, that i'm 30 and life should be a damned sight more sorted! is this kind of worry normal!?

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 09:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Hello Dave. Most people on ILE have just turned 30 and are in the same position. It's normal.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:02 (twenty-two years ago)

oh and the biggest point of concern is that i still can't take any of this seriously!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:03 (twenty-two years ago)

apparently...rather than worry about being 30 tho there should probably be more effort put into shifting the view in this culture that 30 is old when its not. i suppose its just because you're 12 years past 18 which is usually the point where you're able to do anything you want and have your own independence, go to whatever pubs and clubs etc. and people ten years younger than you can do all the same things you can - tho not necessarily any better, plus they have less general experience usually. being 30 doesnt have to mean anything at all with regards to feeling you should have settled down, have the job of your dreams etc. - its looking less likely than ever in fact due to the way society and attitudes have changed in the last 50 years.

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:05 (twenty-two years ago)

i guarantee that when i'm 30 i will feel exactly the same as Dave, except probably a bit worse in a 'arrrgh, i still haven't done that, i might never get to do THAT now' way

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:07 (twenty-two years ago)

My bro recently hit 30 & had a terrible time of it. His music didnt seem to be taking off & he had split with his girl of 6 years. However, it's a little while later & he has met another girl who he is sure is 'the one' & the rest of his life seems to be falling into place. I cannot guarantee that this will happen for you Dave, but all I can say is hang in there & try to concentrate on things that make you happy. Try to surround yourself with uncomplicated friends who provide a shoulder & a good time.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:11 (twenty-two years ago)

it's all a matter of how you look at things and what attitude you have towards them, of course. but i think that nowadays it shouldn't be about being 30 or not, but rather about being married and having a mortgage to pay or not.
you've just started your best decade, dave :-)

― joan vich (joan vich), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:12 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm actually crying laughing with a similarly aged colleague abt the state of our lives, so i don't feel bad - just bemused

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:13 (twenty-two years ago)

come on then Dave, give us some advice on what i should do within the next 5 years...

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:16 (twenty-two years ago)

are you 25 steve?

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:18 (twenty-two years ago)

ding!

― joan vich (joan vich), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:18 (twenty-two years ago)

It's not time to make a change,
Just relax, take it easy.
You're still young, that's your fault,
There's so much you have to know.
Find a girl, settle down,
If you want you can marry.
Look at me, I am old, but I'm happy.

I was once like you are now, and I know that it's not easy,
To be calm when you've found something going on.
But take your time, think a lot,
Why, think of everything you've got.
For you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not.

― chris (chris), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:19 (twenty-two years ago)

i also have abt 35 years till i lose control of my bladder

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Chris, you were joking weren't you?!

― Vicky (Vicky), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:26 (twenty-two years ago)

steve i'd strongly advise eating well, avoiding pies, drinking plenty of water, washing your hands after chopping scotch bonnet chillis (see sinkah's peppers thread for details), enjoying alcohol in moderation, not smoking, not spending too much on records, taking out a pension, settling down with someone nice and saving a little money every week... basically everything i have NOT done!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:34 (twenty-two years ago)

buy a lot of records, drink a lot, meet women (or men), have sex with most of them (both), get up late, eat ice-cream and chocolate.
do.not.grow.up. not until you're 50.

― joan vich (joan vich), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:37 (twenty-two years ago)

i eat bad but better than i used to - i rarely eat meat pies but i'm a sucker for Mr Kipling. i do not drink enough water tho. i dont eat scotch bonnet chillis. i do enjoy (if you can call it that) alcohol in moderation, i dont smoke (including weed or cess, cos its gonna give a brother brain damage), i've only bought about 5 'records' this year...dont have a pension tho. and as for settling down with someone nice...'whoops' is all i can say for now. no money saved but then i'd rather spend some first.

good stuff tho, cheers

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm still having my "turning 30" crisis at 33. In fact, I realise that in a lot of ways (career, music, etc) my life is more SHITE at 33 than it was at 25 or 30. Ugh.

I said early on in my 20s that if I hadn't "succeeded" at music by the time I was 30, I'd give it up and go get a Proper Job. A month before my 30th birthday, we had Hype - I mean, a review - in the NME saying we were the best new band in Britain. So I persevered. Now that my professional career is wrecked and the band broke up anyway so that others could follow *their* professional careers, I feel some slight bitterness. I am a freaking idiot, I guess. :-(

― kate (kate), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Dave - I turned 30 about 4 days ago, and from what you said my life sounds like a carbon copy of yours. So obv. I have no advice to give here.

― Nathan W (Nathan Webb), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:42 (twenty-two years ago)

that is no help nathan!!!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:52 (twenty-two years ago)

its rapidly approaching for me.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:53 (twenty-two years ago)

my life is more SHITE at 33 than it was at 25 or 30. Ugh.

kate this is less help - lets go get drunk together!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry Dave! I'll email you off board tonight, from yer other thread I am (or was a couple of months ago) going through exactly the same stuff, so some mutual wallowing/commiserating seems in order.

― Nathan W (Nathan Webb), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:02 (twenty-two years ago)

no worries, this is a half-joke thread - i want to hear abt other people's misery!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I must say, however, in my 30s defense, that although I'm not particularly in a better situation, I'm more content (maybe complacent) about the situations I am in. 10 years ago, I wouldn't have lasted a month at this job, demeaning and annoying as it is, and I've been here 6 months.

That's not a good thing, mind you. But it is symptomatic of the fact that things just don't bother you as much the older you get.

― kate (kate), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:12 (twenty-two years ago)

of course I was joking upthread, my life has taken a lot of turns for the better since thirty (well just before anyway) it's great.

― chris (chris), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:12 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm hoping it's going to be ok to be honest - the fact that i'm really paying any attention to any of this stuff and actually thinking abt changing it is a major bit of growing up on my part in itself!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:14 (twenty-two years ago)

oh and feel free nathan, this email works fine

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:14 (twenty-two years ago)

My brother turned 30 just under three years ago and promptly split up with his (just-graduated-as-a-vet) girlfriend of two years, sold his house on the outskirts of Bath/Bristol, quit his £15k + bonus + car + free records job with Vital and moved back to Exeter. Verily turning 30 do sucketh. He's now selling wheelchairs to cripples.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:17 (twenty-two years ago)

My personal life is going very well, but creatively and professionally I haven't achieved any of the things I have wanted to do by the time I have thirty (I still have a month before that happens but I doubt anything will happen in the meantime). It has made me feel so worthless and inadequate. I'm increasingly convinced I should be put on an ice flow and drift off to sea.

― Larcole (Nicole), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I heard many years ago that surveys have shown that most men are happier in their 30s than their 20s. I always clung to that. Whereas women are on average happier in their 20s.

I don't know if this is all about marriage suiting men and not women, or about all the thirtysomething single women panicking more than the single men do. Anyway Dave - look on the bright side. You could be trapped in a loveless marriage, having lost touch with your single friends (all still living the high life), having dinner parties with people you hate where the only topics of conversation are property prices, DIY and what car you're driving.

But do get a pension.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:20 (twenty-two years ago)

even I've got a pension these days.

I found it almost painful to get it though, I had more trouble with that than actually turning 30.

― chris (chris), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:22 (twenty-two years ago)

When I actually turned 30 in May I had been thinking about it for so many years that it didn't really affect me much. It's only when telling people my age, in conversation or on a form, that it has been bothering me a bit.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Verily turning 30 do sucketh. He's now selling wheelchairs to cripples.

go away nick... i am now officially terrified!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm just a fucking nightmare. Job-wise at least. 8 months to go...

― Mark C (Mark C), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:24 (twenty-two years ago)

In a very real sense, we're all selling wheelchairs to cripples.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:25 (twenty-two years ago)

why should one get a pension at 30?

― joan vich (joan vich), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:25 (twenty-two years ago)

One shouldn't - one should get one at 18 but hey.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Pension plan, that is - in case that's the confusion.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:27 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah but most people don't earn any money until they're 30!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I have had a pension since i was 19, the only reason was my then company started a non-contributory one!! I am currently 27, so i still have a few years to go, but if i don't achieve all of the things i am planning for the next few years, i shall revisit to moan about it!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Most people?

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:28 (twenty-two years ago)

God - now you're telling me I should suddenly be reversing the salary slide I've been on the last few years, Dave?

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:29 (twenty-two years ago)

i understood about the pension plan. it just appears to me as a very conservative thing to do when you're 18, or even when you're 30...

― joan vich (joan vich), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Pension plan? Christ, my dad is 60 and doesn't have one.

― kate (kate), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Better to be conservative at 18 than broke and having to work past 70...

― Vicky (Vicky), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Joan - the amount people are projected to have to pay in these days to get a comfortable salary when they retire is quite high. Much higher than most people are on course to have done, and not starting young is a good way to fuck it up.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Esp. since the social supports that are there for the elderly right now are not likely to be there by the time we retire.

― Larcole (Nicole), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I started young, but mine will still be worth nowt!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:46 (twenty-two years ago)

vicky, being conservative at 18 is definitely no good.
having to work at 70? my dad wishes he could be working at 70, he's so bored with his retirement life, and he thinks he's useless now and all those things old people start thinking when they retire and get old.
i can't understand the idea of working hard when you're young so you can have your time when you're old... but then again, i do work hard now, so...

― joan vich (joan vich), Monday, 21 July 2003 12:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 64 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Hello, who in Aus can AFFORD A HOME NOW.

exactly. certainly no single person can realistically do so unless they're pulling six figures in.

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Friday, 15 October 2004 03:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Agree with you too gem - I feel like Ive been happy with the life Ive led, and I own a lot of good quality furniture and have done a bit of OS travel and learned lots of varying skills/jobs, which is way more than either of my married with kids brothers have done. FFS one brother is so flat out with his job and family he's never even been able to come to Melb to see my place :(

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 15 October 2004 03:29 (twenty-one years ago)

And Ive been down here 12 years!

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 15 October 2004 03:30 (twenty-one years ago)

same same with my brother trayce!! i said to him, don't you wish you'd had a chance to go backpacking and do some crappy hospitality jobs and meet lots of people (which is how i spent my early 20s)? he said "no, having children is more important than all that messing about". so it's different strokes for different folks i guess.

― gem (trisk), Friday, 15 October 2004 03:32 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm 29 (30 on Nov 23) and I'm not even going to make a big deal of it. I feel like I'm 22 anyway. Must be all the noise dudes. I'm fortunate in that where I live, people don't live within the boundaries of age, if that makes any sense at all.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 15 October 2004 03:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Happy b-day mcd! It's all downhill from here. Seriously, 28 was worse than 30 and, to quote Maugham, every new year is still better than the alternative.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 15 October 2004 03:55 (twenty-one years ago)

To quote Maugham, every new year is still better than the alternative.. Mr. White, I kiss you!

― Remy (x Jeremy), Friday, 15 October 2004 03:55 (twenty-one years ago)

crikey how rude of us all (except michael white)!! happy birthday mcd!

― gem (trisk), Friday, 15 October 2004 03:56 (twenty-one years ago)

*Timidly and without much ardor* I kiss you back Senor X.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 15 October 2004 04:01 (twenty-one years ago)

EW, YOU GUYS ARE SO OLD!

― phil-two (phil-two), Friday, 15 October 2004 04:26 (twenty-one years ago)

With any chance you will too phil-two, Mr. drools Hennesy down his front.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 15 October 2004 04:27 (twenty-one years ago)

http://pantransit.reptiles.org/images/1998-11-01/skull.jpg

like you I was once was, like me etc etc

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 15 October 2004 04:30 (twenty-one years ago)

i hope i make it to thirty, actually....

― phil-two (phil-two), Friday, 15 October 2004 04:35 (twenty-one years ago)

congratulations mcd, for making 30.

― phil-two (phil-two), Friday, 15 October 2004 04:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, happybarfday mcd! 30 is a goodun.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 15 October 2004 04:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I turned 30 last month and it was nothing. I think I was more conscious of the extra number during the 27-29 years, but 30 rolled right off of me. Like Gear, I still feel like I'm 22, but that's probably because I'm still in school.
Happy Birthday.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Friday, 15 October 2004 05:25 (twenty-one years ago)

30's okay. 33 is the next milestone. I'm a happier person and I know myself much better. I think my thirties are going to be okay.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 15 October 2004 10:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Well I am still 28, but it's something I worry about definitely. I think more from the pov of having children. I have just bought my first house & am planning to get married & have kids in the near future, but until it all start happening it's scary. It's like I arrived here in a flash & I'm like where did my 20's go!

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Friday, 15 October 2004 10:45 (twenty-one years ago)

turned 30 a few months ago & it didn't mean squat.
when i hit 25-26, i found i had to sleep more than 25 hours a week, and couldnt live off of coffee and pop tarts anymore. plus i never thought id make it 25 when i was 17
plus i look and feel about 22 , you know a 'late bloomer' or something

― kephm (kephm), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:29 (twenty-one years ago)

sometimes i get a little depressed when i think how jimi hendrix was jimi hendrix at 23 or something, and when i hear about 25million dollar quarterbacks who are in their early twenties, which is odd cause i don't care for sports too much but those guys are supposed to be older than me

― kephm (kephm), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:33 (twenty-one years ago)

i think when i hit 30 the only problem i'll have is having to tell people.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, having everyone pointing and laughing at you can be a strain

― Daddyismus (Dada), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:40 (twenty-one years ago)

or even just being put into the "middle aged man" bracket

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Err ken - you're not middle aged in your 30s. Unless you really want to be.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Controversial Calum: You're only as young as the woman you feel, knowhorrimean, hyuk, hyuk, slobber, drool etc

― Daddyismus (Dada), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Controversial Calum: You're as young as the woman you feel, knowhorrimean, hyuk, hyuk, slobber, drool etc

― Daddyismus (Dada), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:43 (twenty-one years ago)

ive heard '30 is the new 21' and i don't quite follow

― kephm (kephm), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:44 (twenty-one years ago)

what age does middle age start?

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Too soon.

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:49 (twenty-one years ago)

40 at the earliest. Depends on how you act, a bit.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Middle age?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:55 (twenty-one years ago)

It's different to Middle Earth, Ned.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey thanks for all the attention. Actually, I feel fucking great today! 30 is alright! Soon I'm going to buy some records.

― mcd (mcd), Friday, 15 October 2004 13:01 (twenty-one years ago)

It's different to Middle Earth, Ned.

Ah, then you are welcome to it.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 15 October 2004 13:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I've said it before and will say it again - my 30s have been MUCH better than my 20s ever hoped to be. Sure, I may not be a billionaire living in a mansion on the moon, but what little I have is enough. Age is unimportant; how you feel about who you are and where you are in your life is what matters.

Happy birthday!!!

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 15 October 2004 14:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I am 31 and have recently bought a mansion on the moon. However, I am not a billionaire yet and thus count my life as a failure.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 15 October 2004 23:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Whereas I AM a billionaire, but haven't yet bought a mansion on the moon. Perhaps a merger is in order?

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 15 October 2004 23:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Let's interface!

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 15 October 2004 23:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't wanna be just another one of your acquisitions, baby.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 15 October 2004 23:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Then it may have to be a hostile takeover.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 15 October 2004 23:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Set phasers on sexy!

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 15 October 2004 23:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm too old for this.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 15 October 2004 23:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, you ARE 31.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 15 October 2004 23:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Set phasers for cocoa.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 15 October 2004 23:26 (twenty-one years ago)

And knitting.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 15 October 2004 23:26 (twenty-one years ago)

eight months pass...

Four weeks since my 30th birthday and it's been amazingly stress free.

― leigh (leigh), Tuesday, 12 July 2005 11:12 (twenty years ago)

the pipe and slippers are intercepting the stress-waves.

― g-kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 12 July 2005 11:19 (twenty years ago)

I'm nearing 32. No more *just 30* still with one feet in yer twenties.

― nathalie's body's designed for two (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 12 July 2005 11:32 (twenty years ago)

Nath I thought you were 25, max! Don't worry, I have the same 'problem' too ;)

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Tuesday, 12 July 2005 11:36 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, that's where I'm stuck mentally. hahaha I'm actually serious.

― nathalie's body's designed for two (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 12 July 2005 11:44 (twenty years ago)

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