Bad names for perfumes?

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I usually go out with women who wear decent perfume - which, in my ex-perience costs a fortune - but I went out once (1996) with a girl who worked at Tesco (nothing aginst that, she was a great girl and I like Tesco). I went round to pick her up and she had this noxious perfume on.

"What's that perfume?" I enquired.

"Tribe."

I couldn't help laughing.

She said, "What are you laughing for? That cost eight quid, that did."

Any other risible perfume names?

(This is not anti-women. I like the way that many modern products almost take the piss out of themselves, with the collusion of their users. For example, there's a cream called "Hope in a Jar".)

― thoth (Jake Proudlock), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I am reminded of the fake perfumes and aftershaves from Vic Reeves' "Sun Boiled Onions" book:

Keith
Lunch
Cave Dweller
Recoil
Ballast
Just Leslie
Judas
Labrador
Golden Stream
Richard III
Simply Derek

― Chriddof (Chriddof), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:45 (twenty-two years ago)

A cheap knock-off goods shop in ormskirk used to sell weird perfumes and colognes, my favourites were Bosun and Armour.

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I remember that there was one called Halloween, but I don't remember what company made it. I doubt that even a goth would want to douse herself in Halloween every day.

― Larcole (Nicole), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:34 (twenty-two years ago)

::resists impulse to make obligatory Ministry joke::

― kate (kate), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Halloween probably smelt like milk dots and the inside of a mask after you've worn it all night.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I remember Guerlain came out with a perfume named Metallica a few years ago, but they should have known better since the litigation-loving band sued them almost as soon as it came out. I don't think people would want to smell like Metallica anyway.

― Larcole (Nicole), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:42 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm guessing it smelt like Lar's taint.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:43 (twenty-two years ago)

is that true abt the geurlain perfume? that's crazy... you are so so right abt me not wanting my missus to smell like heavy metal bands, too, though "lemmy" would be a considerably worse choice of name for scent...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:45 (twenty-two years ago)

It's true.

― Larcole (Nicole), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:47 (twenty-two years ago)

"Good day, can I tempt you with...Libidinous?"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 21 July 2003 12:39 (twenty-two years ago)

J Lo Glow.

Ewwww. Lopez sweat. Ewwwww.

(Because: Men perspire, ladies glow and horses sweat.)

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 21 July 2003 13:06 (twenty-two years ago)

"Talkin' 'bout those scented vaginal deodorants - my old lady's got one - 'Tuna'" - Redd Foxx

― dave q, Monday, 21 July 2003 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Vera Wang perfume! Smell like Wang!

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:22 (twenty-two years ago)

="I don't think people would want to smell like Metallica anyway."

Or like teen spirit.

― thoth (Jake Proudlock), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Does Teen Spirit smell bad?

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:36 (twenty-two years ago)

More importantly are they still making Teen Spirit?

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I remember my sister having a bottle of "Debbie Gibsons Electric Youth" perfume. It was horrendous.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Art by Garfunkel

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 21 July 2003 14:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I've always wanted to write an article about the names given to men's colognes and aftershaves, if I could find a suitable place to publish it. Two names that stuck in my mind: Quorum and Preferred Stock. These clearly are addressing men with professional aspirations. But what's next...Hostile Takeover?

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 21 July 2003 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I had Electric Youth! I recall it smelling like candy and hairspray.

― Larcole (Nicole), Monday, 21 July 2003 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I would so love a bottle of Hostile Takeover!

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 15:06 (twenty-two years ago)

How about 'Securitisation'? 'Liquid Assets'? 'Initial Public Offering'? Seriously, I would buy all of these.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 15:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Horizontal Spread, Back-end Load, Zero Sum Game

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 21 July 2003 15:12 (twenty-two years ago)

mens aftershave spotted in cheapy shop: 'jeer'.

― rar, Tuesday, 22 July 2003 08:49 (twenty-two years ago)

In Heat

― RickyT (RickyT), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 09:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Pederast

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 09:29 (twenty-two years ago)

naming a line of men's fragrance's after serial killers would be bad, too: Bundy For Men, Neilsen Pour Homme, Dahmer Anitperspirant.

Is rather like my idea of naming all my children after genocidal dictators... everyone thinks this is wrong but i think Papa Doc and Pol Pot Stelfox have a certain ring to them...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 10:17 (twenty-two years ago)

pol pot noodle

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 11:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I actually sometimes wear a men's cologne called "Pi" which struck me as the worst name ever for anything. "I smell of math!!"

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 20:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Eau d'Or perfume. Hyuk hyuk!

― Leee (Leee), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 20:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I once thought it would be witty to name a scent "Eau d'Istille."

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 21:21 (twenty-two years ago)

when come back smell of pie

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 21:23 (twenty-two years ago)

when come back smell of pie

Will Apple Pie do?

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 21:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Ass

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 21:36 (twenty-two years ago)

belly button

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 21:36 (twenty-two years ago)

mine, anyway

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 21:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Philosophy's "Hope in a Jar" is great!

I have two scents at the moment.
Lolita Lempnika
and Burberry for Women. The first is an odd name.

― Mandee, Tuesday, 22 July 2003 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

How about 'Derivatives for woman'?

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 22:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Anything named after a pro athlete.

― David Beckhouse (David Beckhouse), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 22:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Motar

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 23:15 (twenty-two years ago)

El Duce

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 23:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Geez, Mandee, I wear Lolita Lempicka for Men (sometimes). I was coming to the thread cause all the colognes I wear have horrible names: Casual Friday (I haven't worked a single day in an office in my life, nor ever will, what the fuck do I know from casual Friday? Casual Friday is Commando Friday. And aside from that, it's a dumb name anyway), Minotaure (out, out, damned flouncing little Gallic e), and the aforementioned LL.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 23:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I want one called Requisite. Just so I can do the stupid Python skit.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 23:41 (twenty-two years ago)

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