If you were the oppostite sex oh what would you do?

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I would wear such pretty clothes. Most girls don't make the best of themselves.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 22:56 (twenty-two years ago)

oh i would do sex: the opposite way

― t''t, Tuesday, 22 July 2003 22:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I wouldn't bathe and wear the same clothes for days and scratch myself and not care about getting a beer belly. Oh wait. . .

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 22:59 (twenty-two years ago)

masturbate, natch.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 23:00 (twenty-two years ago)

freak out nerdy boys

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 23:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Is that an exhortation?

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 23:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd be a total gold digger

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 23:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I have tried to change 'oppostite' to 'opposite' but it has failed.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 23:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd be the same person but without a period and with an annoying dangly thing always getting in the way.

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 23:11 (twenty-two years ago)

hit on ally

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 23:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Orbit tell me more of this reverse nirvana

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 23:13 (twenty-two years ago)

[ie. I want to be a post-menopausal woman but am afraid to ask]

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 23:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Wreck myself in the shower.

― nickn (nickn), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 23:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh I misread 'with' as 'without'. This is always happening to me.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 23:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd be a foot taller with a cleft chin, but without all the usual dumbass pickup lines.

(oh, and rework the US Government from scratch)

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 23:29 (twenty-two years ago)

i'd join the Men's Auxiliary of SCUM. i'd probably wear womens clothes.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 23:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Sit ups. Lots and lots of sit ups.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 23:39 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah Luna's right. One of the first things I'd probably do is rub one off.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 23:41 (twenty-two years ago)

masturbate for HOURS

― M Matos (M Matos), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 23:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh yeah, I guess you guys are limited when it comes to how many orgasms you can have in a row, right? :( Yeah well nevermind that.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 23:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I would have SO many chicks, dude!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 00:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Same shit I do now.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 00:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Probably be one of the experts on Queer Eye For the Straight Guy.

― j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 00:52 (twenty-two years ago)

ally'd be mackin on jbr and rosemary

― Tad (llamasfur), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 00:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Get cute boys to suck my dick.

― rosemary (rosemary), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 01:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually, Tad, I'd try to mack on Phil.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 01:04 (twenty-two years ago)

hey whatever floats yer boat you know?

― Tad (llamasfur), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 01:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I would prefer to notice N.'s subliminal desires by pointing out the incorrect spelling in the thread title.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 01:05 (twenty-two years ago)

and i just believe that pseudo-boy rosemary just propositioned you, pseudo-boy ally!

― Tad (llamasfur), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 01:05 (twenty-two years ago)

TAD me and Rosemary already hooked up with photographic evidence, jesus christ, get with the program. Stop being such a perv!

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 01:15 (twenty-two years ago)

"I have not yet begun to perve."

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 01:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally, phil-two and I could hook up, and there would finally be that alleged ILX threesome.

― rosemary (rosemary), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 01:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I still haven't figured out who the third person was in the original rumor.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 01:21 (twenty-two years ago)

who's to say that phil-one wouldn't opposite-sex himself, hook up with mary, and leave you two out in the cold ... hmmmmmm?

― Tad (llamasfur), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 01:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Why are you so interested in who either of us would fuck if we were dudes? Do you have some sort of secret Ally-Rosemary-Tep-Strap-On fantasy going on here?

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 01:23 (twenty-two years ago)

When I wrote "Tep" I meant "Tad". WTF, maybe I have that fantasy.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 01:24 (twenty-two years ago)

it's furthest from my mind of course ... i'm minty fresh and clean

― Tad (llamasfur), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 01:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Like Outkast.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 01:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, nobody straps me on.

Wait, that doesn't sound right either.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 01:38 (twenty-two years ago)

anyway, it really ain't at all about you and rosemary ally. if i were a girl, i'd be trying to get some carpet-munching from di/lurex in dunedin!

― Tad (llamasfur), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 01:41 (twenty-two years ago)

i am the apostate of sex.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 01:49 (twenty-two years ago)

< / Jarvis Cocker 1988 >

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 01:50 (twenty-two years ago)

You would?

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 01:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Depends on how he wore his hair.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 01:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Every single person on this board is a complete pervert! No wonder I like it so much here. :)

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 02:24 (twenty-two years ago)

1. buy vibrator
2. use vibrator
3. throw vibrator at neighborhood kids
4. repeat

(oh, and I guess I'd give that whole pregnancy thing a go)

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 02:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Oops, make sure you buy the plug-in variety vibrator. Those battery ones wear out too easily.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 02:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Will do. Are there industrial strength vibrators?

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 02:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, the Hitachi Magic Wand. With different attachments you can also use it take paint off walls and buff cars.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 02:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd sleep my way to the top. Or into a few Hollywood movies.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 02:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Me, I'd watch Cocker having Helena Bonham-Carter and then take sloppy seconds. (see "not yet begun" above)

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 02:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Helena Bonham-Carter could pass for a ballerina.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 03:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I just want to point out that J.lu's answer is the best one yet

― Millar (Millar), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 03:23 (twenty-two years ago)

This was supposed to be a serious question!

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 06:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd dress like Bjork and hit on girls.

― Ed (dali), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 06:58 (twenty-two years ago)

helena bonham carter already did this (= she is johnny depp YOU KNEW BEFORE SO DON'T BLAT)

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 07:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Wear better clothes and have better hair. Most boys don't make the best of themselves.

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 07:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Have a bath.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 07:34 (twenty-two years ago)

the same stuff i do now except in a girly sort of way i guess

― duane, Wednesday, 23 July 2003 07:35 (twenty-two years ago)

how does one listen to 60s garage rock in a girly sort of way?

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 07:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Free from the bounds of masculinity, I'd indulge fully in my tweeness. I'd have my room decorated in a Strawberry Shortcake motif. I'd cry at the drop of a hat, so long as the hat was dropped in a morose manner and the dropper appeared consumed with existential fear. I'd buy National Enquirer regularly. I'd tell all my friends how big my boyfriend's penis is. I'd read trashy romance novels. I'd get my nails done and my hair didded. I'd drive around with my best girlfriend in a convertible blasting Van Morrison. I'd watch soap operas while eating bon bons. I'd fuck a sailor. I'd flirt with everyone, everywhere. I'd *have* to get those shoes, since they match the top I just bought. I'd let the airshaft blow my dress open. I'd peel a banana in a seductive way. I'd do the splits. I'd let a boy think he was gonna get some, but say 'i just can't do this' when it came time. I'd tell my kid to make his own goddamn meal, Mommma's too drunk. I'd have penis envy.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 07:35 (twenty-two years ago)

oops you are a genius.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 07:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd listen to jazz and improv.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 07:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Damn i wish i was the kinda girl Oops is.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 08:02 (twenty-two years ago)

i'd so fuck a girl like oops

― Tad (llamasfur), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 08:03 (twenty-two years ago)

"I've never known a girl like Oops before"

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 08:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Best Oops post ever, btw. And N., wouldn't you be the next Jodie Kidd (or at least the raddled, 30-something version)?

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 08:45 (twenty-two years ago)

30-nothing, thanks.

What is raddled? It sounds good.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 08:53 (twenty-two years ago)

It involves Kate Radley => it's not worth it.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 08:56 (twenty-two years ago)

It means worn out and haggard.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 08:58 (twenty-two years ago)

bah

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 09:02 (twenty-two years ago)

i would still want to get it on with hott goth chix

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 09:10 (twenty-two years ago)

maybe i'd become a nun

― duane (doorag), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 09:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I would prolly spend most of the time in bed 'with myself' & also take a wee standing up! Obv have a contest with my boy to see who could wee the highest!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 10:28 (twenty-two years ago)

i think it would be funny to have that competition with one's partner regardless of whether they were a girl or a boy

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 10:36 (twenty-two years ago)

REALLY 'let myself go'. See what it's like to be fat.

― dave q, Wednesday, 23 July 2003 10:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Grow sideburns. I forgot, this would be U&K. I would SO experiment with facial hair.

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 10:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think oops would have you then.

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 15:15 (twenty-two years ago)

be a bitch.

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 15:20 (twenty-two years ago)

(ie duane's post up there, not the nun one.)

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd be concerned about my Kafka-esque transformation. You know, I'd really be like "how did this happen?".

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 15:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd be an angry gay sailor or army guy, who gets into a lot of drunken bar brawls and has a has a man in every port.

― Larcole (Nicole), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 15:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I really don't want to be a boy. I would probably do drag, I guess.

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 15:54 (twenty-two years ago)

N. is already Jodie Kidd.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 16:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd immediately shave my bush.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 16:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I find it interesting that N. would dress in frilly frocks. N., do you think most women should wear low-cut dresses and heels everywhere?

― Mandee, Wednesday, 23 July 2003 16:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd immediately shower and rub soap all over my glorious breasteses, then I'd get dressed up and go out and use those same glorious breasteses to sucker a bunch of dopes into buying drinks for me all night.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 16:24 (twenty-two years ago)

N., do you think most women should wear low-cut dresses and heels everywhere?

Well, not on their heads.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 16:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Pinkpanther, have you given a thought to how James might feel about having a todger contest with his girlfriend?

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 16:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Sword fight!

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 16:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, and of course I'd wear a tuxedo at the remotest opportunity.

― j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd switch to playing keyboards because there are already too many boy guitarists. And I'd have shaggy hair. And grow some sideburns. Then I'd subscribe to some sort of indie porn website, learn how to skateboard, and drink beer as much as possible.

So when we swich sexes, do our s.o.s switch too? I mean, is NA a boy or is he a girl???

― Sarah MCLusky (coco), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 17:42 (twenty-two years ago)

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