A birthday present for a 75-year-old man

You should get him a hooker

This could be the most depressing thread I've ever started.

Come on, kids - I've got to go shopping in an hour and a half.

Well, what does he look for in a whiskey? I prefer the really strong peaty tasting ones, like Laphroaigh or however it's spelled.

A new younger body? (sorry!)

subscription to a magazine of some kind?
(for his 74th, i signed my dad up for KEW magazine = handsome quarterly abt kew gardens)

i have also considered buying him a bonsai tree, seeing as it is interesting and requires a degree of fiddly nurturing w/o being like a pet llama or similar (as my dad is disabled this wd mean work for my mum so i never go through w.the bonsai thing...)

you got the bonsai tree idea from karate kid didn't you?

on my homeworld trees are only one inch tall julio, and though that planet is but a glowing radio-active shell now, still the memory starts up painfully in me

Jonesy, try the Balvennie, or even better the Old Fettercairn, both very nice, especially the latter, which I got a litre of on the cheap the other day.

Some useless ideas here:

Geriatric Christmas Presents Ideas Thread

my dreary standby for everyone = books/music

nice change for some people = a hamper ("hamper") of exotic food (like italian cheeses or curious japanese instant snacks or....)

always works for girlies of all ages (except dr vick who is a boy of all ages) = flars => weird cactus is the male equiv?

some kind of compact (ie not too expensive) hifi/DVD/TV/radio type equipment?

how does he spend his time? does he want change this?

PJ Miller's suggestion from the other thread seemed the best but finding a book on Olde Wallasey(e) on Oxford Street in my lunch hour seems slim.

Compact stereo has been a back burner idea for years, always scuppered by fact that there's no way the folks will go out and spent £13 on a CD, so they'd be left with the Neil Diamond compilation I'd probably get them - which my dad wouldn't play that often for fear of 'wearing it out'. They have an early '70s Ambassador stereogram (piece of furniture basically) which I doubt is ever plugged in. But, still, it's an idea. I can imagine a micro-system sitting in the dining room with (once I've programmed the FM stations in) the ol' fella yelling at Radio Merseyside phone-ins. They currently use the slowly dying JVC radio cassette I got for Xmas 1980.

Hmm, perhaps the whisky on arrival, the stereo the next day from a Liverpool shop.

But, books, yes. Exotic food is *right* out.

I wish I knew how he spent his time. I suspect he's reasonably content, just wishes he wasn't doing whatever he does in the increasingly bleak environs of Poulton. Do they have Ladbrokes in Florida?

Sportspages for some piece of Evertonia, MJ? I know there's always lots because their footy books are alphabetical by team.

Good idea, Tim. I presume they have videos too. Off to Caxton Walk, then.

(Further argument against little stereo: they'd need to play tapes and this increases the bulk and the price somewhat. Argument for: most of the new ones seem to play MP3 CD-Rs, so I could send them incredibly long compilations of stuff they might like that they wouldn't get bored of. Argument against: in a few years' time the BPI smashes down their door and arrests them for piracy as the RIAA police state spreads worldwide.)

Probably way too late, but: if he likes malts, why not get a selection of miniatures & a tasting guide, (like that Mitchell Beazly pocket book by an author I can't remember the name of right now).

Drinking a whole bottle of the same stuff is boring, its the differences between them all that are interesting.

Or, if he doesn't like whisky, how about a Kellogg's Variety pack?

Well, I didn't really have to go all the way to Sportspages for this, but I got him that big, glossy David Goldblatt World Football encyclopaedia thing. Lots of diagrams and maps. He'll like that. The Everton section amounted to two not-very-interesting books. I think there were more on Raith Rovers. There was a Kevin Campbell video though (what ffwd picture search was invented for, I think, especially last season) and one celebrating last season entitled The Magnificent 7th. ::shudder::

I feel I've let Mark S down with the paucity of imagination displayed in my choice.

Almost bought the complete first series of Rising Damp for a fiver on VHS but thought that Dad probably enjoys encountering those sort of things as unexpected repeats more. He's not a collector. In that sense, my Dad is like Jerry the Nipper.

The whisky will be a late dash to Safeway deal. The variety pack idea is a good 'un.

i think my gardening/plants related ideas probbly map exactly onto football/sport related ideas (eg subbuteo = bonsai)

You should not be flicking your bonsai trees!

Good choice. I think a football book about the local team is a great present for an old guy, particularly if he can't get to the games any more. I bought my dad "The Robin Friday Story" (or whatever it was called) because he was a Reading supporter. It was the last thing he read before he died, and he really loved it.

At least no one said "Martin Skidmore to thread".

Don't forget to tell us whether he liked it or not. It's my mum and dad's 400th wedding anniversary. I was going to get my dad some 'On the Buses' videos for 2.99 out of the Virgin sales but I thought my mum might be a bit jealous.

She feels threatened by Olive?