my friend can't sleep — any suggestions?

i guess i am asking for mental techniques of self-soothing: eg counting sheep haha but so it will actually work

or anything you can think of

It helps me to listen to soothing music right before bedtime, not drink any caffeine close to then, and read in bed until my eyes get tired.

Also, maybe she should try not napping during the day.

Gentle physical exercise before going to bed. Chamomile tea. Bananas. Meditation or breathing exercises for 10 mins before bed. Lavender on or in pillow. Definitely no caffeine after lunchtime.

i have no idea if it works for anyone else, but i find "100 places in britain beginning with B", then s, l, d etc etc. set a target that is achievable but challenging, do it for other countries, try the tube stations in orders, stuff like that, although it makes your brain more active at first, you often find you have fallen asleep before managing it

Yeah I do that sort of thing. (I used to recite A Midsummer Night's Dream in my head too, having memorised the whole thing when acting in it, but I rarely got further than Act 2 Scene 1 so after a while I forgot everything that comes after that anyway...)

can you get melatonin in the uk? it works wonders

I've taken that and I feel like I've got weights in my legs the next day, it's the same as w/valium for me. My suggestions: neither food nor caffeine after 9pm. The slight exercise before bed idea sounds pretty good, too, like maybe a long walk around 10 or 11? I hope some of this works, mark, you R a thoughtful chap for researching it.

Exercise should definitely help. When you are physically tired it's usually much easier to sleep. Maybe yoga could help as that will relieve stress aswell. I find reading before bed helps too. (don't exercise too late in the evening otherwise you wont be able to wind down quickly enough before you are trying to sleep. Your body will still be racing.

I was gonna suggest chamomile tea and lavender on/under the pillow, but Archel's spot-on self beat me to it! No fair!

Also, I find that running a fan helps greatly when I'm too anxious to sleep; the combination of the breeze and the drone-y sound are a bed-time winner for sure!

VALIUM

play her Freddy Jacksons "Rock Me Tonight(for old times sake)"

daily exercise

avoid the catnapping

don't sleep on a full stomach

reduce caffeine

i find my sleep can be affected by what i wear to bed. for example i sleep best with boxers and t-shirt. maybe experiment with different combinations of bed clothes.

also the temp. of the room can have an effect. the colder the better.

as a kid i would listen to the horse racing on the radio at a low volume. the chatter i found comforting as i drifted off.

She might take an hour or so before bedtime -- and not in the bedroom -- to just sit for a bit in low lighting, no radio, tv, or books, so that daily anxieties can be ground around before she actually lies down.

Failing that, Mark, hit her over the head with a cartoon frying pan.

Also : she should align her bed so that she sleeps with her head facing north (and her feet pointing south, unless she is a funny shape of course). This is an ancient Chinese feng shui type remedy - okay, so it sounds weird, but if she's desperate for sleep then surely it's worth a try?

Valerian root works for a lot of people who don't want to use prescription/OTC sleeping pills -- it's what I use with melatonin sometimes (melatonin doesn't ever put me to sleep, only helps me sleep deeper once I'm there). Kava kava, too, although that leaves me drowsy longer if I take enough for it to work (and it's not good for your liver).

(Depending on what she's been prescribed and what the side-effects are, she may want to try half a pill, or a quarter. Do they work, even though she doesn't like the effects?)

If the "reciting things which take effort to think of" thing doesn't work for her the first few times, stop trying it; for many people (myself included), it only wakes them up further, like when you lie awake at night trying to remember what the twins' names were on Double Trouble and can't sleep until you do so.

Don't nap. My girlfriend's been in a cycle of napping in the afternoon and sleeping poorly at night for years now, and can't seem to break it because she's wired herself that way -- we wind up either working our schedule around her mid-afternoon nap or resigning ourselves to the fact that she won't really enjoy whatever we're doing in the afternoon.

I can't go to sleep if my hand is touching my head in any way!

cunnilingus, natch

Infusing lemon balm leaves in boiling water for five minutes then sipping a mug of this brew is said to work.

I've read the above posts and there's some cross-over with what works for me. Not sleeping is something I've lived with all my life. First of all, exercise during the day, then wind down early in the evening, watch telly or read (nothing creative or stimulating) and don't drink. Then an hour or two before you want to sleep, go for a walk, have a hot bath, and drink camomile tea. But most people I know who complain about not being able to sleep drink too much coffee, don't kid yourself, you can't have it both ways.

She might take an hour or so before bedtime -- and not in the bedroom -- to just sit for a bit in low lightingM
So, basically she could bore herself to sleep! Maybe she could write in a journal? That way she could relax more and handwriting can really wear you out!

Last night I couldn't sleep so I entertained myself, for some reason, with a long and complicated daydream about me fighting the aliens from Signs. I do not know why I did this.

(but it worked)

Yes, Sarah, absolutely bore herself to sleep! Even crappy tv can be a little too exciting, if for no other reason than that there are flashing lights and loud noises!

A shower/bath before bed. Read until your eyes get heavy. Then put on (you need the player by the bed, or a remote control, obv) favourite relaxing music. It works pretty well for me, mostly. If after a while you can't sleep and the thinking is driving you crazy, give up for now, and read a bit more. Repeat as needed.

1. Don't let the sun go down on an argument.
2. Have a clear conscience. If it's not, clear it up.
3. Take a Xanax, or a Valium or get an actual sleeping pill like a Halcion
4. If option 3 is not available, have a good dinner followed by a couple of glasses of red wine.
5. Make yourself wake up and take a shower BEFORE 9am and no naps.

Making sure you get enough exercise is very important, as is avoiding caffeine past about 5pm.

My last bout of insomnia lifted by doing these things:

*drinking a cup of verveine tea about 30 minutes before bedtime; it's a soporific.
*lavender oil massaged into collarbone/chest area = anyplace you'd put Vick's when ill.
*Very hard massage of the instep of both feet especially the pressure point just under the ball of the foot, slightly closer to the big-toe end of the foot. Do this until it feels like you've been waiting tables for a few hours.
*get in position in bed, then do a really big s-t-r-e-t-c-h extending your arms and legs as far as they'll go. Then curl up into your usual position and sleep should come quickly and mercifully.

Orbit's #5 is excellent. It's sort of like flying to the other side of the globe versus going over a few time zones -- it's actually easier to readjust your sleeping patterns after fully depriving yourself of (almost) a night's sleep than going to bed an hour or two earlier.

The music/tv trick works wonders, and if you know someone obliging enough, a car ride will do well too (obv make sure haha that the driver is not prone to nodding off behind the wheel).

I have read in a homeopathy book that a light snack can actually help to go to sleep. I'll have to peruse it again.

Perhaps also making lists of plans for tomorrow, to-do lists, writing down stuff that's running through yr head will help. Get it on the page so you won't have to keep worrying over it.

Choral music is nice too.

Masturbate - a good discharge of tension, nature's sleeping pill.

Orbit's #3 is lousy. Lying in bed sleeplessly is more restful than drugged sleep.

That depends on the person. Speaking as someone with insomnia for years and several sleeping pill prescriptions, I heartily disagree.

Dr Dog Latin's sleepytime cd-r:

Aphex Twin: SAWII CD1 Track 7
Mike & Rich: Bu bu bu ba
Autechre: Yulquen
Boards of Canada: Opening The Mouth
Autechre: Overand
Aphex Twin: SAWII CD1 Track 3
Jan Jelinek: There Are Other Worlds You Have Not Seen
Boards Of Canada: Diving Station
Stars of the Lid: Atomium Part 3
King Crimson: Trio

apologies for the lazy compiling, i burnt it at 5 in the morning during a bout of insomnia but as soon as i put it on, i fell asleep.

hooked on xanax worked for me!

(I usually take a long walk in the evenings to shake off the excess nervous energy, and that helps tremendously.)

Try one of those "Sounds of the Sea" CDs always hawked on late night TV. On click on late night tv, and leave it on. Then at least, if the CD itself doesn't work, the incessant droning should.

yeah, relaxation tapes are good. I have one that I listen to for fun.

okay here's what i normally do...

first i st

We should start a ILX Sleepy-Time mix tape/CD exchange thread.

I went to sleep at 9 or so because I was exhausted and now I have woken up and am wide awake. I dreamed about sliding down sand banks into the sea on my arse. It was so cool.

I generally drink myself to sleep but I wouldn't recommend it.