Methods of demanding fellatio

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After the otha thread you knew it was coming.

I think American Pie established that "Suck me, beautiful." is right out of the question. Also the just nudging the head down to crotch-level thing is in somewhat poor taste.

But is there any tasteful way to do this or do good things just come to those who give and wait?

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 02:03 (twenty-two years ago)

"I'd like a word with you in the Oval Office."

― Pabst Blue Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 02:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Damn, if the guy is fab, why should he *have* to demand? Eh?

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 02:09 (twenty-two years ago)

put it in ya mouth?

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 02:11 (twenty-two years ago)

maybe just putting some whipped cream on is a good hint?

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 02:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I guess the real answer is that if you have to demand it, it's not gonna be any good.

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 02:13 (twenty-two years ago)

EAT EAT EAT! NOW! YOU EAT!

― phil-two (phil-two), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 02:14 (twenty-two years ago)

like I said....

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 02:15 (twenty-two years ago)

zombie time

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 02:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I'M NOT HUNGRY!!!

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 02:25 (twenty-two years ago)

You buy her expensive things.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 02:34 (twenty-two years ago)

"you better suck it, before i fuck it" - dj assault, 2000

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 02:35 (twenty-two years ago)

That's not very demanding, Kenan.
I say have God do the demanding for ya. Chicks respect him.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 02:54 (twenty-two years ago)

That's not very demanding, Kenan.

If a $125 bracelet doesn't say "I want a blowjob," I don't know what does.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 02:55 (twenty-two years ago)

you have *got* to be kidding.

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 02:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Orbit in "I am shocked" shockah.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 02:58 (twenty-two years ago)

It says 'could i maybe, please, possibly have a blowjob, ma'am', not 'GIVE ME A BLOWJOB NOW, BEEYOTCH'

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 03:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Sometimes I really enjoy being ordered around.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 03:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Me too. I'm not as good at the ordering around, but I have mastered the "I throw you on the bed and carelessly remove your clothing" bit.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 03:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Watch out for the buttons next time, bub...

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 03:27 (twenty-two years ago)

or not, actually

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 03:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Fuck the buttons! There's sex to be had here, woman!

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 03:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Fuck the buttons? I'll never understand THAT fetish.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 03:30 (twenty-two years ago)

oops, you are the master of picking out the obvious joke, the joke so obvious that I noticed it while I was writing, thought about changing, and then thought, "Nah. Too obvious. No one will comment on that. It's so cheap."

Thank God there's you to keep me in line.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 03:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I said 'or not' - bring it on, cowboy!

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 03:35 (twenty-two years ago)

AWWRIGHT! Let's see if I can stay on for the full eight seconds...

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 03:36 (twenty-two years ago)

and you are the master of making unnecessary posts, whose only purpose seems to be to make you feel superior.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 03:39 (twenty-two years ago)

*throwing hat up into the air*

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 03:39 (twenty-two years ago)

hat? I meant panties

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 03:39 (twenty-two years ago)

but everyone loves a dick!

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 03:39 (twenty-two years ago)

"your woman is nastier than you ever imagined... but you got to have confidence, you got to come correct. this shit, 'um could i, uh could i, um, i was thinking, i was thinking that you could... lick my balls?' 'what?! i am not lickin your balls!!! lick your own damn balls!' and then you got dry balls... you got to tell her what you want, with your voice down deep in the bottom of your throat, a little eye contact, and she'll do any damn thing. the mumbling shit don't cut it"

― Chris Rock (kind of) (tracerhand), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I always tried to let my body do the talkin', but let's face it, my body ain't what it used to be.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:11 (twenty-two years ago)

but ohhh, what it says...

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:13 (twenty-two years ago)

If you're saying it used to have its own mouth I imagine your chances have improved.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Unless you're talking about that flatulence problem.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Shh. I'm working on that.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Is that what that was? damn

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Is it possible to get less smooth and more adolescent the more you move away from adolescence? When I was 20, I was Captain Foreplay. Now I just want to rut like a pig. This is not the way it's supposed to be.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:21 (twenty-two years ago)

But enough about me. What about you, Luna? Do you want to rut like a pig?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:22 (twenty-two years ago)

(sorry)

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Call me Petunia...

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:22 (twenty-two years ago)

well, ok, don't, but you see my point.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, lord. Am I then Porky in this scenario?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe the body-talking thing was better. Somehow having another mouth on your body, one that can talk, reminds me of "the ass blowjob", devised by old roomie L and others on the beach two years ago. The man says: "I want you to suck my dick. With your ass."

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:24 (twenty-two years ago)

You brought up the pigs, I went for the easy one.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Wiat, I just made myself the easy one, didn't I?

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Back off my territory, luna.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Can I be Michaelangelo instead?

(err... not Matos.)

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:27 (twenty-two years ago)

You're gonna have to fight me for him, oops.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:28 (twenty-two years ago)

(grabbing a beer and a lawn chair)

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 44 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

every post of mine is a cry for help. HELP!!

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 05:29 (twenty-two years ago)

um Kenan?

You called?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 05:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I think we have a LA contingent who might help you out of the goodness of their hearts.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 05:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Although we can never guarantee width.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 05:32 (twenty-two years ago)

What's a heart got to do with it? < /Tina>

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 05:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyway, I'm leaving LA.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 05:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Where you going?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 05:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Either New Orleans, Chicago or San Francisco.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 05:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, come to Chicago! We could be, like, real-life friends and stuff!

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 05:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Then we really could drink beer and hog-tie oops...

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 05:48 (twenty-two years ago)

You know I'm voting for nola still Luna. Gettin' you down south is the only hope the nipple thing ever has of happening.

Man I look away for a couple of hours and look what happens . ..

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 05:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Nah, sug, I actually usually do end up in TX a couple times a year - albeit in Houston - because one of my best friends lives there... hell, no matter where I end up, I'll come to the EDT anyway, cause I ant to hang with you.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 05:53 (twenty-two years ago)

For some reason, I think she should come to Chicago.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 05:54 (twenty-two years ago)

You want to be hog-tied, natch.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 05:57 (twenty-two years ago)

tied? maybe. in a hog stylee? um, no.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 06:09 (twenty-two years ago)

oh you'd love it.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 06:12 (twenty-two years ago)

He's obviously never been hog tied by the luna.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 06:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, exactly!

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 06:26 (twenty-two years ago)

less bondage and more cock sucking

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 06:26 (twenty-two years ago)

*resisting obvious follow up so those who think I'm a fluff headed bimbo will have one less reason to think so*

or something

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 06:27 (twenty-two years ago)

We don't think you're a fluff head or a bimbo. We think you're terribly horny, and we all wish we could help.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 06:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I do appreciate the thought...

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 06:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Think harder!

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 06:32 (twenty-two years ago)

chant
"You need a mouth fill and I need the publicity
recognize the glory and give me dick felicity You need a mouth fill and I need the publicity
recognize the glory and give me dick felicity You need a mouth fill and I need the publicity
recognize the glory and give me dick felicity You need a mouth fill and I need the publicity
recognize the glory and give me dick felicity You need a mouth fill and I need the publicity
recognize the glory and give me dick felicity You need a mouth fill and I need the publicity
recognize the glory and give me dick felicity You need a mouth fill and I need the publicity
recognize the glory and give me dick felicity

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 08:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm in awe.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 08:37 (twenty-two years ago)

You people are clearly all blind, as this:

Gettin' you down south is the only hope the nipple thing ever has of happening.

... is the best answer to the thread question.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 11:30 (twenty-two years ago)

If you pierce it...

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 11:30 (twenty-two years ago)

hahahahahahhahhahahaha
(to Tep, not you luna!)

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 11:31 (twenty-two years ago)

You people get asked? I mean it's not in your contracts?

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 11:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Whoa, I think Hanle y is trying to pick up on an ILXor there.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 12:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you sure? It's pretty subtle.

― NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 13:10 (twenty-two years ago)

BJs don't seem to be given on a regular basis. At the beginning of a relationship a little more, but after a while, fuck, it's just annoying.

― Scaredy Cat, Tuesday, 29 July 2003 13:31 (twenty-two years ago)

i love everyone

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 14:33 (twenty-two years ago)

i really want to post to this thread. i really really do. but i don't want to get myself in trouble.

― dyson (dyson), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 14:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I knew this girl in high school, a Russian foreign exchange student, who was propositioned thusly: in a parked car, they were making out, and she was about to get out of the car to leave, when the feller whips it out and says "Look at what you've done to me! You can't leave me like this! At least suck it off!" Further evidence that N31L R45MU553N is among the lamest fuckers on the planet.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 16:10 (twenty-two years ago)

He should have asked her to suck it off with her ass

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 16:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I demand sketches.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 17:00 (twenty-two years ago)

"2 pounds for a full sketch--1 pound for a quickie"

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 20:10 (twenty-two years ago)

You people get asked? I mean it's not in your contracts?

Whip out your magnifying glass; tis part of the Fine Print

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 20:16 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, I think we have a winner for the title of Filthest ILX Thread Of All Time. And I love you all for it.

Whip out your magnifying glass

If you need to get out a magnifying glass to see it, you've not going to get too much fellatio, are you?

If you're saying it used to have its own mouth I imagine your chances have improved.

That's funny. I always thought that the opening of the penis looked like a little mouth.

"Careful. It might start talking to you." --my husband, after I first told him that obversation

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 20:38 (twenty-two years ago)

(fellatio fellahs still behind cunni'slingers non-shockah)

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 22:22 (twenty-two years ago)

In prison we'd just burst in their cell, put a shank to their throat and say suck me now bitch.

― Zeb, Wednesday, 30 July 2003 07:25 (twenty-two years ago)

seven years pass...

27 September 2010 Last updated at 06:54 ET

French MEP Rachida Dati makes oral sex slip-up

France's ex-justice minister Rachida Dati mixed up the words "fellatio" and "inflation" - which sound similar in French - during a TV interview.

She told Canal Plus: "I see some [foreign investment funds] looking for returns of 20 or 25% at a time when fellatio is close to zero."

Within hours, the video was an internet hit on websites such as YouTube.

Ms Dati, now a Euro MP, later laughed off the whole episode saying she had spoken too quickly.

Ms Dati also said she was happy to have provided some entertainment.

The French word for fellatio is "fellation", which sounds similar to the word "inflation".

Ms Dati left the government last year amid criticism of her management style, and gossip about her clothes and love life.

She is now an MEP and serves as mayor of Paris's seventh arrondissement.

― -hot-dean ge-fever- (buzza), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 17:09 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.enjoyfrance.com/images/stories/france/political/Rachida-Dati-leave.jpg

― -hot-dean ge-fever- (buzza), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 17:10 (fifteen years ago)

― Astronaut Mike Dexter (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 17:11 (fifteen years ago)

"It all got ~~gargled~~ garbled in my mouth."

― Un peu d'Eire, ça fait toujours Dublin (Michael White), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 17:15 (fifteen years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KeWJo80SNSE

― -hot-dean ge-fever- (buzza), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 17:20 (fifteen years ago)

Tbf to Dati, she has a history of being gaffe-prone.

― Un peu d'Eire, ça fait toujours Dublin (Michael White), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 17:41 (fifteen years ago)

The expression on her face kind of does suggest "Your chance of fellatio is close to zero"

― rammer jammer jan hammer (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 21:20 (fifteen years ago)

Ah yes, Dati. At it again!

― Faerie Liquide (admrl), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 21:21 (fifteen years ago)

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