My grandmother goes in for a triple-bypass tomorrow, so my mother's family has come into town. The trio from Alabama seem like normal people, until you talk to them.
My uncle's a Pentecostal preacher, and they make the Pentecostals I know look like Episcopalians. My aunt was complaining that he used the word "behind" in a sermon.
Most of their two days here have been spent complaining to my grandmother about how broke they are (WHILE SHE GETS READY FOR SURGERY) and whining at her about her lifestyle (she had cat hair on her furniture, obviously she's a slob in need of full-time care).
They took it to a whole 'nother level today. While my older brother was in the room, they started telling her that his two small tattoos (one of those Jesus-fish, and some Hebrew letter/word) were a sign that he was in league with "dark forces," and that she needed to distance herself from him.
WHILE HE WAS IN THE ROOM. And they were serious.
I can't stand these people. I can't believe I'm fucking related to these hillbilly, racist (another story) medieval pigfuckers. Resisting the urge to go get my ears pierced, dye my hair and wear a sleeveless shirt so they could see my tattoos while we're in the hospital tomorrow (possibly while reading a book on Hinduism or one of those heathen religions) is a struggle.
Now, because of the situation, I can't.
But it would feel so good if I could.
― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 03:29 (twenty-two years ago)
Wait, your brother has a religious tatt and they think its a sign of dark forces? (I almost wrotw Darko forces then, that'd be good!)
I have crazy christian relatives too. They told my brother D&D is evil. He had to try very hard not to laugh in their faces. I mean they're lovely people, but really...
I can sympathise, milo.
― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 04:30 (twenty-two years ago)
miloauckerman, send them to me! I'll take them off your hands. I fuckin' love Pentecostalists. You might say I collect them.
― dave q, Wednesday, 30 July 2003 08:31 (twenty-two years ago)
I'm suddenly reminded of that episode of Blackadder when his ultra-religious relatives the Whiteadders turn up.
whatever you do, don't serve up a turnip shaped like a thingey for dinner!
― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 08:35 (twenty-two years ago)
That's really mean of you to insinuate Spencer looks like an evil space alien bunny.
― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 16:41 (twenty-two years ago)
eight years pass...
I had hoped that all the rightwing batshittery in my parents' household dissipated with my dad's passing, but I just got a many-times-forwarded email from my mom about how we should all be stunned and saddened at this photo of Obama holding a copy of The Post-American World, "written by a fellow Muslim (Fareed Zakaria)"
Had to call her up and ask her nicely to quit sending me that kind of crap.
― Biff Wellington (WmC), Friday, 15 June 2012 18:06 (fourteen years ago)
The first picture that Dada posted really made this thread. It's really too bad it's gone.
― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Friday, 15 June 2012 18:11 (fourteen years ago)