Stake your claim: plots for your novel

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Use this thread as evidence to sue people in 5 years time when they use your idea in a best-selling novel.

― Alan (Alan), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 09:34 (twenty-two years ago)

a put-upon child in glasses discovers he is a wizard and goes to a big secret school to study magic

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 09:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Everybody on Earth acts like a complete asshole for thousands of years until one bright day 144,000 good people are Raptured Away to an eternal afterlife in heaven and everyone else burns in hell

― dave q, Wednesday, 30 July 2003 09:38 (twenty-two years ago)

''good people'' => momus fans (well, there might not be 144,000 of them)

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 09:41 (twenty-two years ago)

(My real answer) A time traveller and his assistant (Nyssa) go to the Great Exhibition where they encounter a stranded alien using Babbage's Analytic engine, the "telegraph" communication device and a device from his crashed ship to direct mankind to invent the internet. Along the way they meet James (Maxwell) and Charles (Dodgson). The alien goes mental and nearly causes a massacre at the exhibition, but the time traveller dissipates the alien's consciousness into space on a burst of radio waves.

― Alan (Alan), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 10:04 (twenty-two years ago)

The hero time travels back to the early half of the century to kill JD Salinger in order to stop him writing Catcher in the Rye, so Mark Chapman won't read it and be 'inspired' to kill John Lennon. Unfortunately, Chapman picks up a Danielle Steele thriller and kills Paul McCartney instead.

― Adam the Thames Boy, Wednesday, 30 July 2003 10:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Dead body in freezer. Chef. Conspiracy. Lap dancing club run by Luxuembourg gangsters. Myriad sub-plots. Mystery.

It sorta combines my incomplete NANOWRIMO novel and some new ideas I've had.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 11:22 (twenty-two years ago)

(luxembourg gangsters = best thing ever [so far])

― RickyT (RickyT), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 11:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I have a halfwritten novel about the Scottish gangsters that run all the Turkish Kebab shops on Green Lanes feuding with the turkish Gangsters that run all the Aberdeen Angus Steak Houses. The problem of the dcaying orbit of much space debris fits in as does the 29 bus. All these items are conspicious enough for me to spot if its been nicked.

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 12:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I really do have a vague idea for a chick-lit novel that involves robots, libraries and international espionage. It will be horrible, but may very well be a bestseller.

― Larcole (Nicole), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 12:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I've been meaning to write a short story about a guy stuck in a traffic jam who falls in love with a girl in the car in front of him without seeing her face, just the back of her head, but I've been too lazy to write it. Maybe one of these days.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 12:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I just checked my "novel notebook". I am also going to include "shadows in the darkness" and being kept awake by dripping sounds and oscillating sounds (I presume there are sinister reasons for these noises).

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 12:31 (twenty-two years ago)

A future with a global corporate/government control entity that harvests cats for the DMT in their brains which they use to create mind control chemicals that is slipped into the water supply for all humans over the age of 12 (before that age the children live in floating city school complexes). One of these children gets free and finds a team of rogue escaped cats (who can SPEAK in my novel, btw, thanks to intricacies of the harvesting process) living underground in abandoned/condemned sewers. They have a plan to set all the cats free. If you want to know more, please buy my book!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 12:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Guy runs from vampires. Run, guy, run! Guy stakes vampires. Stake, guy, stake!

I don't complicate things much :)

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 16:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Vanity Fair set in the present day but with a funnier ending. I will not bother to disguise my wholesale plagiarism because the copyright has expired.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 17:28 (twenty-two years ago)

The more I have thought about the aforementioned novel idea the more I think about going ahead and writing it. Not because it will be any good, but because it will be silly fun that will get me back into the habit of writing regularly.

― Larcole (Nicole), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 17:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Hm, I just realized my post was rather futile.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 17:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm going to write all about myself and give everyone very thinly disguised names, I think I've mentioned this before.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 17:33 (twenty-two years ago)

It works for most writers.

― Larcole (Nicole), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, but most writers are shit boring!

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 17:37 (twenty-two years ago)

an entire novel
written in strict haiku form
one million pages

― Haikunym, Wednesday, 30 July 2003 17:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Guy wakes up, notices his muffins have been stolen.

― Chris P (Chris P), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Haikunym: c.f. Golden Gate by Vikram Seth, which was written entirely in (rhymed) sonnets.

― Chris P (Chris P), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Three brothers terrorize stupid prairie town after stealing 20-ft tall mechanized dinosaur that was impressive in the 80s but has since been left in corner from Natural History Museum

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I totally have a dinosaur novel I haven't gotten around to writing yet, about this guy who gets possessed by this dead dinosaur. It has dinosaurs in it.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 17:50 (twenty-two years ago)

And Jesus?

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

That's who gets possessed by dinosaurs.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Jesus is everywhere. Even in dinosaur testicles.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

THAT'S ACTUALLY THE IDEA, YES.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Seriously, that was the idea, kind of. This guy gets possessed by this dead dinosaur, and it turns out the dinosaur was this like Messiah thing -- he'd been the Christ of Dinosaurs -- who had failed to die and save the dinos from getting wonked, so Dead Dino-Christ possesses Guy Who Is Second Coming of Jesus to ... do some stuff, I don't know. I didn't write it.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 17:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Novel written in the style of a legal document by a mentally challenged woman who wears black wigs a lot and cannot remember having her son.

― Mandee, Wednesday, 30 July 2003 17:55 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.chick.com/tractimages8330/5001/5001_10.gif

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 17:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Dumbass comic book man! Those aren't dinosaurs, they're just BIG LIZARDS CAUSE IT'S TEXAS, fool!

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 17:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Wait, am I Guy Who Writes Books About Jesus now?

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 18:00 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.chick.com/tractimages8330/5001/5001_02.gif

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 18:00 (twenty-two years ago)

No, you're still the pineapple zombie blowjob guy, never fear.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 18:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I shouldn't have asked. Besides, that's Ted.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 18:03 (twenty-two years ago)

No no, sug, it's you. Nice try, though.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 18:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I tagged Slim on that, though, it's all his now.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 18:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Nah, I only ever play TV tag and right before you tagged me I said "Barnaby Jones" so it's still all you, Mr. Zombie BJ

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 18:27 (twenty-two years ago)

That's LL Zombie BJ, thank you.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Ladies Love?

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 18:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Labia Lickin' (though i s'pose the two are one and the same)

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 18:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Ladies Love Zombie Blowjobs. My new album, Why's That Chewy?, drops mid-winter.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I laugh until I cry.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 18:55 (twenty-two years ago)

The follow-up will be titled What's That Fluid?, drops mid-thigh.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I vomit in expectation.

I do have the next novel planned but it's a secret. Very goofy idea too. Might work, though.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 19:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Man finds love on interweb mentalist message board, eh Ned? I dunno if it'll work or not...

― Chris P (Chris P), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 19:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Love with Hootie?

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

After my ILE-induced megadose of Murakami, I have huge faith in goofy. (And apparently alliteration also.)

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Mine's got bukkake and rabid polar bears and knife fights with graphic dismemberments and a 200 foot firebreathing lizard plus a robot pirate and a robot nurse who fall in love and most of it takes place inside a circus tent. I'm not sure how it ends.

― Millar (Millar), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 20:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I might actually write it as a play instead.

― Millar (Millar), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

My other one has this dude from Wpg trying to grow an ironic moustache, which in the end becomes a moustache earnest.
Soon to by made into a movie-of-the-week starring John Stamos and Helena Bonham Carter (I have a great agent).

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 20:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I already wrote a play about my novel. It was very existential and so I threw it away.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 20:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Man finds love on interweb mentalist message board, eh Ned? I dunno if it'll work or not...

Ah, ya punk. I actually involves a person and a house, and Texas.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 20:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I actually involves it, I do! IT actually involves, etc.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 20:08 (twenty-two years ago)

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