Miss Cleo: Classic or Dud?

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I keep getting email from Miss Cleo! She even knows my birthday! Argh! So, be the judge, Miss Cleo: is her tarot talent unbelievable (particularly her DNA test), or is it as fake as her "Jamaican" accent?

― Ally, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think _The Boondocks_ said it all, bless its heart. Not so much fake as 'throw enough darts and something will stick.'

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I heard Miss Cleo is getting her own talk show. One more reason to turn off the tv.

― michele, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Please tell me Miss Cleo is actually going to get a talk show. That'd be the best thing to ever, ever happen in a million years. I love that Miss Cleo, but her repeated emails saying she has important information about my birthday really bother me.

― Ally, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The important information she wants to share with you is that on your birthday you will.....be older! Oh, that Miss Cleo, she is a smart one.

― michele, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I totally wish I was Miss Cleo.

Do British people even have Miss Cleo, btw?

― Ally, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No we don't. What is it? It sounds like the name of a cat. Or a brothel madam.

― Emma, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

She looks somewhat like a brothel madame that swallowed a cat. Or a whole litter of them.

She is a psychic with a fake Jamaican accent who says things like "girlfriend! what you be stayin wit dat boy for?!" And no matter what I say about her, and how disdainful I sound, I am somewhat entranced by her. In that car wreck sort of way.

― michele, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oooh, chile, I don't care if it's fake. She's giving me the straight butta, no Crisco, you know? That's right, girl - you get your bony ass out of that apartment and tell him Miss Cleo said so! Yeah, you've been going out with him for three months - try LAST NIGHT!

"...How'd you know?"

The cards don't lie, chile.

― David Raposa, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I now have four people in my office reciting Miss Cleo lines. The Judge I work for thinks we should just have Miss Cleo stand in for all witnesses on jury cases. She does know everything, after all, and it would keep the jury from falling asleep.

― michele, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That's a fantastic idea.

Defending Attorney: Miss Cleo, did you see the defendant committing these crimes on the night of April 23rd? Miss Cleo: Honey, the cards never lie!

― Ally, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Although I am not Jamaican, I must protest labelling Miss Cleo's accent as such. Her accent is marvellous kaleidoscope of Carribean accents. One of the most exciting things about watching her commercials is that you never know which accent the next syllable she says will have. Will it be Haitian? Jamaican? Cape Verdean? Creole? Irish? Till meh mawr, Miz Cleee-OH, Ah'll bih weeehtin' far yah!

― Dan Perry, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think the closest thing us Brits can muster is Mystic Meg who talks funny but she just does boring old horoscopes. Now I come to think of it she may have a tarot line too.

― Emma, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

MM's newspaper column is hilarious. She has two normal astro-vision sentences, then a wiggy kiss-off: Destiny is a Puerto Rican umbrella

― mark s, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You mean Mystic Meg is real? I thought she was just some random stereotype you people had come up with for your own amusement.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I didn't know there was a stereotype of mad astrology people. Except that they are mad.

Today, Taurus, destiny is sending you down the pub. Again.

― Emma, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Now that's a horoscope column I would like to see. Every day it would say: Your destiny for today is to sit on the couch in your pajamas drinking spiked lemonade, eating nachos and watching Gary Oldman movies.

― michele, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Stereotype = not from where they say. Meg is sorta 'Balkan', Cleo apparently (bot not) Caribbean. And MM's grammatical wiggy-bit structure is very precise: Destiny is a wobbly table by the pub toilets, for example...

― mark s, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

fifteen years pass...

RIP

― esempiu (crüt), Tuesday, 26 July 2016 18:03 (nine years ago)

I am a little sad about this

― http://porno (DJP), Tuesday, 26 July 2016 19:31 (nine years ago)

for any ilx0rs interested in reproducing in the near future, a suggestion: Cleo (or Clio) is a decent girlbaby's name

― del griffith, Tuesday, 26 July 2016 20:01 (nine years ago)

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