Kings of the Obvious

Although, if MULL OF KINTYRE isn't in there I will be writing personally to Channel 4 to complain. I heard that song on the way into work this morning and it ruined my day.

I think you're right, actually. I originally put "was great" but I couldn't be sure...

At least such a programme concentrating on novelty records would be amusing and make good post-pub telly. Who in their right mind would want to sit through hours of Stereophonics and Lighthouse Family videos?

A good point which I suppose I have to agree with, but I doubt it'll be any good anyway, as they'll just get the same old suspects in (Vernon Kaye and that fucking Thingy Yashere person, most probably) who won't add anything actually funny or even at least insightful.

The end bit..
"Oh Ken I'm having so much fun!!!"
"Well barbie we're just getting started"
"Oh I love you Ken!"

*swoon*

There are at least 10 actually bad records on there.

I was planning to start a Sinitta vs Sabrina TS last night as it happens.

where is van morrison or marvin gaye or pulp on this list? that would take actual real interesting daring

Without having seen this list, I predict it is "The Thong Song." Lemme check...

(I remember giving it very high marks, possibly even a 10+10, if you must know.)

Who chose this list?

Mind you, Matt DC is OTM - it makes for ace post pub telly, even if it does make me want to kick in the head of Gina Yashere or Kate Thornton or Sarah Cawood or whoever. I forecast a night of me shouting "WTF? My Toot Toot is an excellent pop song and miles better than chuffing Travis!!!" at the telly whilst mr ailsa sits by and shakes his head sadly. Bring it ON!

16. CA PLANE POUR MOI - PLASTIC BERTRAND
18. CAN WE FIX IT ? - BOB THE BUILDER
20. CHEEKY SONG (TOUCH MY BUM) - THE CHEEKY GIRLS
23. CHIRPY CHIRPY CHEEP CHEEP - MIDDLE OF THE ROAD
29. DO THEY KNOW ITS CHRISTMAS - BAND AID II
31. DOOP - DOOP
44. I JUST CALLED TO SAY I LOVE YOU - STEVIE WONDER
46. I SHOULD BE SO LUCKY - KYLIE MINOGUE
49. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS - FOREIGNER
79. ONE NIGHT IN BANGKOK - MURRAY HEAD
101. STAND BY YOUR MAN - TAMMY WYNETTE
109. THE LADY IN RED - CHRIS DE BURGH
115. THONG SONG - SISQO
119. TOUCH ME (I WANT YOUR BODY) - SAMANTHA FOX
123. WANNABE - SPICE GIRLS

And there's a bunch more that aren't bad at all.

Um, I happen to quite like Kylie Minogue's "I Should Be So Lucky". Unlike her cover of "Locomotion", which I will always think of as dire. "I Should Be So Lucky", though, is fun, lighthearted, and peppy.

"I should be so lucky/Lucky, lucky, lucky/I should be so lucky in love!"

Ok, that's it. That's becoming my theme song NOW. ;)

(EVERYTHING I DO) I DO IT FOR YOU - BRYAN ADAMS
BARBIE GIRL - AQUA
C'EST LA VIE - B*WITCHED
CHEEKY SONG (TOUCH MY BUM) - THE CHEEKY GIRLS
DIAMOND LIGHTS - GLENN HODDLE AND CHRIS WADDLE
DIRRTY - CHRISTINA AGUILERA
DO THEY KNOW ITS CHRISTMAS - BAND AID II
I SHOULD BE SO LUCKY - KYLIE MINOGUE
I WANT TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS - FOREIGNER
I'D DO ANYTHING FOR LOVE(BUT I WON'T DO THAT) - MEAT LOAF
LET'S GET READY TO RHUMBLE - PJ AND DUNCAN
PHYSICAL - OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN
PUT THE NEEDLE ON IT - DANII MINOGUE
RAT RAPPING - ROLAND RAT SUPERSTAR
REMEMBER YOU'RE A WOMBLE - THE WOMBLES
SATURDAY NIGHT - WHIGFIELD
SPACEMAN - BABYLON ZOO
STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN - ROLF HARRIS
STAR TREKKIN' - THE FIRM
THE FINAL COUNTDOWN - EUROPE (the inclusion of this song in their list make me extremely angry)
THE POWER OF LOVE - JENNIFER RUSH
WANNABE - SPICE GIRLS
WE BUILT THIS CITY - STARSHIP
WE WILL ROCK YOU - FIVE FEAT. QUEEN

OK, who is for a kicking TVs and shouting party when this airs??

Mike you did indeed give Sisqo 10+10 and compared him to Marvin Gaye.

Will this be the case? And if so, why the asymmetry?

Me! And as I suggested it upthread, I hereby volunteer to hold the Glasgow sub-branch meeting of the "we hate the ninjas of the obvious" night. But only if RJG sings along with McArthur Park.

I think you're right. Probably a lot of people want to see the songs they actually like in this countdown - guilty pleasures and whatnot. I certainly wouldn't want to watch a program about 20 songs I really hate unless the commentary was fantastic.

If I was him I'd be well pissed off - too mediocre and forgettable even to make a throwaway Channel 4 poll of rubbish records.

has anyone seen her do stand up, I can't imagine how such an idiot could have anything funny to say

and *I* *CANNOT* *BELIEVE* that they've dared to put "Because We Want To" on there when surely it is the greatest record evah. heathens

11. BECAUSE WE WANT TO - BILLIE
16. CA PLANE POUR MOI - PLASTIC BERTRAND
28. DIRRTY - CHRISTINA AGUILERA
33. EBENEEZER GOODE - THE SHAMEN
45. I LOST MY HEART TO A STARSHIP TROOPER - SARAH BRIGHTMAN AND HOT GOSSIP
60. LET'S GET READY TO RHUMBLE - PJ AND DUNCAN
70. MMMBOP - HANSON

And that's it. A lot of the rest of them are genuinely awful... but when on earth did Catherine Zeta Jones release a record and who thought it would be a good idea.

I predict a resounding victory for Black Lace or the Millennium Prayer. But WHERE THE FUCK IS MULL OF KINTYRE?

# flashing lights in hyperspace, dum de dum, de de dum deee, dum deee..

the "uh! ah! uh! uh! ah! uh!" bit is the best.

Aah, the ignominy of being an overlooked novelty record... whither Snooker Loopy or the Chicken Song?

What the fuck?

we used to sing the chicken song in school assembly, as such it will always hold a special place in my heart

Skin yourself alive
Learn to speak Arapahoe
Climb inside a dog
And behead an Eskimo
Eat a Renault Four
Wear salami in your ears
Cassarole your gran
Disembowel yourself with spears

too scared to compile a list which would include - live forever? like a rolling stone? no woman no cry? work it? walk on the wild side? all you need is love? common people? anarchy in the uk? tumbling dice? she bangs the drums?

there you are - ten of the GENUINELY worst singles ever made. for starters.