Not knowing what one's parents do for a living: WTF!?

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My father is a mysterious man, and I'm still not quite sure what he does for a living and I'm not sure I want to know. We've figured out that it's not the mafia, because it sure as shit doesn't pay that much.
-- Kerry (dymaxi...), September 21st, 2003.

Sorry Kerry, I don't mean to pick on you, your post just reminded me how bizarre I've always found this phenomenon to be. It usually (but not always) seems to happen in rich families. Is it due to the job being really hard to explain, or just bad communication? Or is what a parent does just that completely irrelevant to the intrafamilal relationships in those families?

― Dan I., Sunday, 21 September 2003 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, I was wondering about this.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 21 September 2003 17:09 (twenty-two years ago)

In my case it's because my mother always immediately starts explaining it in extremely technical terms -- "...bombard the molecules with gamma radiation..." As near as I can tell, the results indicate something technical about the substance she's studying, but she's never explained it in words that I can understand.

― j.lu (j.lu), Sunday, 21 September 2003 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

they're spies or running from the kgb

― JasonD (JasonD), Sunday, 21 September 2003 18:52 (twenty-two years ago)

My father never offered any details about his job, ever. He went from advertising account executive to vice-president of a few agencies and finally president, and I never heard more than a few anecdotes over dinner. When I was younger I felt this was maybe because I was a kid and wasn't interested or wouldn't understand. But since many years have since past, and I've actually worked in marketing and designed ads you'd think that my father and I would have had many conversations about this and I'd have more than a basic understanding of what my father actually did. I don't think this is a result of the details being some kind of high-level secret, but more what my father's communication style is. Or more specifically, what his communication style is with me.

Sometimes I think that my father will die without me knowing anything about his inner life, anything about who he really was besides what is on the surface. In fact, the intense attention to surface seems to be what I know most about my father.

I worry too that I myself, as a product of that evironment, have at the core a lack of identity. Being thought of as well-dressed is certainly nice, but in the end not nearly enough.

― Sean (Sean), Sunday, 21 September 2003 22:47 (twenty-two years ago)

My mother hates her job and doesn't like talking about it. I used to be fairly certain about what she did (Equal Oppertunities Officer, always at tribunals, she liked doing that), but the DSS, Benefits Angency, Employment Services, whatever the're calling it these days goes through structural changes and New Labour re-branding every time the wind changes, so after she got promoted I stopped having a clue. I blame the government.

Her boyfriend is a social worker and my dad and step mother run a pub, so nothing too hard there.

― Anna (Anna), Sunday, 21 September 2003 22:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I have absolutely no idea what my dad actually does for a living.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Sunday, 21 September 2003 23:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Except that the pay is quite good and it probably has something to do with computers (and he travels a lot).

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Sunday, 21 September 2003 23:01 (twenty-two years ago)

In my case, I know the general job title that my dad always had when he was in the Navy, mostly in the sub force, but not always the duties -- I'd guess about half the time he was doing exactly what I thought he was or what he was said to be doing. Plenty of those other duties are and remain top secret (I'm still amazed Blind Man's Bluff ever came out, the sub squad are well known for keeping their mouths shut) though he's spoken about things in vague but intriguing terms.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 21 September 2003 23:28 (twenty-two years ago)

My dad had his law office attached to our house so I was only too aware of what he worked on- I used to get drafted to feed the fax machine & make copies all the time. He mostly did real estate law, so I could talk for hours about house inspections & property lines when I was eight; this is most likely why I'm now in my late twenties & still renting & scared to death of ever buying a place. ;-)

― lyra (lyra), Monday, 22 September 2003 00:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Imagine how bad it would be if you actually had a job and still didn't know what you did.

― Pete (Pete), Monday, 22 September 2003 09:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Hi there!

― Sam (chirombo), Monday, 22 September 2003 09:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I know exactly what my parents do - I'm about 6 feet from my father and 30 feet from my mother as I type.

― Mark C (Mark C), Monday, 22 September 2003 09:53 (twenty-two years ago)

My mum is a supply teacher at a special needs school, so essentially she gets sworn at for a living. My dad is retired now, but used to work in an office. Doing what I'm not sure. On the rare occasions I visited him at work it appeared that he talked about cricket.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 22 September 2003 09:57 (twenty-two years ago)

mark you shd get yr mum and dad to post to ilxor!!

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 22 September 2003 10:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Mark, I think they'd be less than impressed if they knew *I* posted to ILX during office hours... Still, my mum did once come to a Sinister met-up, which was fun. She described me as "faggy but nice" in front of all my interweb chums. Sigh.

― Mark C (Mark C), Monday, 22 September 2003 10:09 (twenty-two years ago)

so they're posting to rival boards, like fake matador or bitchpork?

*fails to understand concept of ppl in an office not posting to the interweb the whole time*

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 22 September 2003 10:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Hurrah for ILX's sober and text-based appearance!

― Mark C (Mark C), Monday, 22 September 2003 10:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Boo for pics of kitty double penetration and invasive surgery.

― Mark C (Mark C), Monday, 22 September 2003 10:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Surely your parenst are people of the world and well aware of kitty double penetration and invasive surgery.

― Pete (Pete), Monday, 22 September 2003 10:31 (twenty-two years ago)

*m.hanle y and connor "werewolf" smedley reveal selves to be mark c's mom and dad respectively*

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 22 September 2003 10:33 (twenty-two years ago)

were-dad!

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Monday, 22 September 2003 13:26 (twenty-two years ago)

my father worked in HR for the government for years in various branches (bureau of indian affairs, dept. of agriculture). he also did some kind of computer work for them but I dont' know what he did. I never had a regular job while he was alive, and now I work just a few blocks from where he did. Every time I find myself exasperated at how stupid people are at work, I think of him, and the frustration and annoyance he used to express when he got home but never really expounded on because he assumed no-one understood. But as for the particulars of his job, I am at a loss.

I used to have a friend who didn't know what her father did for a living and it turned out he was in the secret service.

― anthony kyle monday (akmonday), Monday, 22 September 2003 17:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I seriously cannot answer this question. No, really. Officially, he does some sort of work with machine shops.

they're spies or running from the kgb

I actually used to think this.

― Kerry (dymaxia), Monday, 22 September 2003 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

their jobs are the only things i feel comfortable talking with my parents about.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 04:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I had a really hard time growing up when people at school and stuff would ask me "what do your parents do?"

The response "my dad's a public relations consultant, and my mum a concert and theatre promoter" were always met with blank stares.

― Andrew (enneff), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 04:50 (twenty-two years ago)

My dad works in car sales, so saying "Dads a car salesman" always got loads of jokes about him being dodgy :/ He wasnt like some used car salesman, he dealt with govt fleet sales of trucks! Bit of a difference. But yeah I knew what he did... he used to bring home recordings of the latest Barina or Commodore radio ad campaign and bore us half to death, bless 'im.

Mum didnt work for much of my school life, and when she did go back to work it was in the school library as an assistant - thankfully after I'd finished year 12 ;)

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 05:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I never knew exactly what my Dad did - I knew he was a government employee, that he worked at GCHQ in some sort of intelligence gathering role, that he travelled often and sometimes at very short notice to the Middle East, that he never drove the same route to work two days in a row or had any other sort of recognisable routine in his life and every morning he checked underneath the car to make sure there weren't any packages attached to it that might be ticking.

He might have been a filing clerk, but I don't think so.

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 07:10 (twenty-two years ago)

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