When the milk goes bad....

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Kind of a companion to the cereal thread. I'm in NA's situation where I don't really drink milk, so I never bother buying it. (cream for the coffee though, yes please.) Mr teeny buys milk in two half-gallons instead of one gallon jug because he thinks it will spoil less quickly.

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 22 September 2003 17:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I take the expiration date as a casual suggestion rather than a rule...if it's not sour, it's fair game to me! Mr teeny will not believe me when I tell him that the date is not an expiration really, it's a 'Buy by' date, and the milk will still be good for at least a week after the date. At least.

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 22 September 2003 17:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Soy milk stays good way longer but almost always sucks as far as cereal-milking purposes go.

(One of these days one of us is gonna meet Mr. Teeny and call him Mr. Teeny to his face. That would be funny.)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 22 September 2003 17:51 (twenty-two years ago)

mr teeny is a milk mentalist.

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 22 September 2003 17:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I barely use any milk at all. I have a 250 mL cream thing, and I'll occasionally buy a litre of milk when I think I really really should be eating breakfast. But I just can't get through it in time. I usually can't even get through the cream, and I drink a lot of coffee, dude. Though not really at home. Though I've been drinking more and more tea at night with cream.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 22 September 2003 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I always think the milk goes bad a few days before the expiration date depending on when the milk is opened. I always try to wait until I'm fairly sure I'll be drinking/using milk the next few days before I open it.

― A Nairn (moretap), Monday, 22 September 2003 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

My life is a neverending series of bottles of spoilt milk, waiting to be united with its trash brethren. Milk is dumb. They should invent cereal that tastes like you already added milk but it wouldn't actually have milk in it. Though I suppose that due to its texture, this product would have to come in big gross bags.

― NA (Nick A.), Monday, 22 September 2003 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

To paraphrase PJ O'Rourke:
When your milk starts to look like cottage cheese, throw it out.
When your cottage cheese starts to look like butter, throw it out.
When your butter starts to look like cheddar cheese, throw it out.
When your cheddar cheese starts to look like bleu cheese, throw it out.
If you have bleu cheese in your fridge, throw it out.

...or something like that...

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Monday, 22 September 2003 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

soy milk > milk milk

― A Nairn (moretap), Monday, 22 September 2003 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

(also mr. teeny is like 6'2" and 250# har de har har)

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 22 September 2003 17:57 (twenty-two years ago)

You never have to throw out cheese. It's inherently moldy, so just cut off the visible mold and BAM you're golden.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 22 September 2003 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

My buddy Jimmy once in a Sunday morning act of empty-kitchened-hungover-breakfast-desperation put beer in his Cheerios and called it Beerios.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 22 September 2003 17:59 (twenty-two years ago)

You get used to soy milk on cereal -- it's not bad, just weird at first.

― Chris P (Chris P), Monday, 22 September 2003 18:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Mr teeny will not believe me when I tell him that the date is not an expiration really, it's a 'Buy by' date, and the milk will still be good for at least a week after the date. At least.

Yup. That's what my mom would always tell me after I'd give her the gas face when she'd try to get me to drink milk or eat yogurt past that date.
I can only go through a quart before it goes bad, so, um, that is what I buy.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 22 September 2003 18:01 (twenty-two years ago)

there is such a controversy surrounding soy milk. I have heard many people say its full of sorrow-substances

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Monday, 22 September 2003 18:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I go through milk by the gallon and it never goes bad on me. I don't go by expiration dates as much as how it smells and tastes.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Monday, 22 September 2003 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

you and I are the only sane ones Julia.

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 22 September 2003 18:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I only buy half-gallons anymore cuz a whole gallon is too much for me & pookie to drink on our own. As I said on the cereal thread, sometimes I put half-n-half in my cereal. At least once a day I take a big ol' chug of milk straight from the jug.

Soy milk can be very good in your cereal, as long as it's good stuff and not too watery.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 22 September 2003 18:13 (twenty-two years ago)

buy lactaid, not only is it better for your stomach, but it does not spoil nearly as fast as milk with lactose in it (keeps good for almost a month!).

― anthony kyle monday (akmonday), Monday, 22 September 2003 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Yay for sanity, Teeny!

What soy milk *isn't* watery? (I drink it anyway)

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Monday, 22 September 2003 18:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't go by the date either - I always smell milk before I use it - if it smells bad, I dump it, if not, hey, we're golden.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 22 September 2003 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Soy Dream has a good hearty milky consistency.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 22 September 2003 18:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I hear the title of this thread as that Cypress Hill song ("When the shit goes down...").

― NA (Nick A.), Monday, 22 September 2003 18:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I buy milk in quarts. My milk has two sell by dates! "Sell by Oct 02 NYC Sep 28"

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Monday, 22 September 2003 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.scottsmind.com/cartoons/milk.gif

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 22 September 2003 19:03 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.marsimport.com/images/MILCT01.jpg

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Monday, 22 September 2003 20:13 (twenty-two years ago)

jesus this thread has inspired a Weird Al parody of "When The Whip Comes Down" in my head. Thanks a lot!

I totally always drink all the milk before it goes bad. Not an issue.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 22 September 2003 20:16 (twenty-two years ago)

What, all the milk in the world? Why have you been skipping my house, then?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 22 September 2003 20:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think he's interested in your 'milk'.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 22 September 2003 20:41 (twenty-two years ago)

*pout*

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 22 September 2003 20:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Dan the Milkbeast.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 22 September 2003 20:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Elektra Natchios to thread!

― Leee (Leee), Monday, 22 September 2003 20:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Anthony, you do not remember that your first encounter with spoiled cottage cheese milk was at my house! I thought this memory would be imbedded in your brain forever.

― Carey (Carey), Monday, 22 September 2003 21:15 (twenty-two years ago)

that shit was nasty. nasty nasty. vegans are fruitcakes.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 22 September 2003 21:20 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.recipesource.com/baked-goods/desserts/cakes/03/rec0382.html

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 22 September 2003 21:22 (twenty-two years ago)

i usually get a pint of real milk and some cartons of uht because those keep without being fridged. and yes, two small cartons rather than a large one. tastes pretty much the same when you're used to skimmed milk, ie they both taste of nothing much.

went to make breakfast this morning and found not a lot of milk to go with my cereal. had just enough for a cup of coffee. everything was really dry as a result. realised later that i should've made a cup of coffee and poured that over the cereal - two birds, one stone.

andy

― koogs (koogs), Monday, 22 September 2003 21:26 (twenty-two years ago)

"Extra vegan margarine -for greasing"

EXTRA vegan??? I can see some intra-vegan turmoil: "you eat that normal vegan margarine?!? Get the fuck out of my house."

― oops (Oops), Monday, 22 September 2003 21:27 (twenty-two years ago)

greased vegans!

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 22 September 2003 21:29 (twenty-two years ago)

go greased vegans!

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 22 September 2003 21:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Can't find that Far Side cartoon online....

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 00:31 (twenty-two years ago)

UHT milk cartons are a godsend. I dunno why I never thought to buy them before. Keep 3 or 4 in the pantry, you're never out of milk that way. Cream comes this way too (tho in teenytiny boxen, never ones large enough for when you need loads of cream for like making a cake or something grr).

I still dont quite get this "cream for coffee" thing you amerkins do. Is it like, thicker than milk? Why not just put milk in your coffee like every other normal person?!!? ;P [/troll]

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 00:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, it's the texture -- nondairy creamers all aim at a thickness roughly that of half-and-half, too.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 02:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I live alone, buy by the gallon and usually down it before it goes bad. Although I'm stupidly afraid of the milk in my fridge at present. I forgot to put it away when I first got home and left it out all day. It didn't go bad, and it's perfectly fine, but I have this irrational wariness of it now, like it's plotting revenge.

― ScottRC (ScottRC), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 03:05 (twenty-two years ago)

OK whats half and half? Is that light milk/skim milk? All these confusing terms. We just put milk in our coffee, and cream is that stuff you whip and put on cakes or with fruit salad or whatever.

I think I'd be a whiny shit if I ate in the US *grin*. "THIS ISNT COFFEE THIS IS SHIT!".

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 03:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh okay, see, most cream used for coffee doesn't have enough fat to be whipped. We use heavy cream and light whipping cream for whipping, sauces, etc. (and sometimes light cream ends up in coffee, because how much variety you've got in the dairy section depends on where you live); light cream for coffee; half and half is half milk, half cream (whole milk and light cream respectively, I think); and then there's whole milk, low-fat milk (two kinds, 2% fat and 1% fat), and skim milk.

I don't have figures handy for how much fat is in each of those, but the heaviest of our heavy creams is not much lighter than double cream -- the large American dairy producers don't generally make double cream or clotted cream, although you can find them both domestically and imported (do you do those in Australia? They have them in the UK, of course, but I don't know if it's a UK thing or an everywhere-but-here thing).

One of the benefits to cream or half and half in coffee is that you're changing the texture "faster" than with milk -- it takes less to thicken it, so you can cut the acidity and thicken the texture without diluting the coffee as much as you would with milk.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 03:54 (twenty-two years ago)

(I could've googled this, probably. Let me see if I have any handy reference sites bookmarked.

I do!

http://www.foodsubs.com/Dairyoth.html

There's extraneous stuff there, and you'll notice that the butterfat content varies enough that one producer's half and half is going to be very much like another producer's light cream, which come to think of it is noticeable if you buy local brands and move around the country a bit.)

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 03:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah, half and half is a milk/cream thing, I see. Interesting. I may be totally off here, but is it only in the US where you put cream into hot drinks like coffee instead of plain old milk? It seems odd, because the heat tends to seperate out the fat, and while I've put thin cream in coffee before out of desperation when out of milk, the film of fat it produces is kinda blergh. Also I dont see the point of thickening the coffee, is that the idea of the texture difference? Creamy coffee seems an odd idea to my palate, heh.

We have some mighty fine double creams here - King Island Dairy make a very good one, it has a consistency somewhere between butter and honey in texture - thick, smooth and very heavy, and DIVINE in taste.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 05:47 (twenty-two years ago)

hot steamed milk is the way to go!

― s1utsky (slutsky), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 06:04 (twenty-two years ago)

for too long has this thread been lonely

http://www.hillcity-comics.com/graphic_novels/indy/fun_with_milk_and_chesse.jpg

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 08:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Gin makes a man mean! Booze up and RIOT!

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 08:12 (twenty-two years ago)

You never have to throw out cheese. It's inherently moldy, so just cut off the visible mold and BAM you're golden.
I do this aswell. j always looks on with a frown!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 09:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Also I dont see the point of thickening the coffee, is that the idea of the texture difference?

It's pretty much just a matter of what you're used to -- the texture issue is the only thing that really separates People Who Think Whole Milk Is Disgusting And Coats Their Mouths from People Who Think Low-Fat Milk Is Disgusting And Watery.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 10:36 (twenty-two years ago)

(sometimes I drink half-and-half like milk.)

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 11:24 (twenty-two years ago)

(ok I've done it with heavy cream too)

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 11:24 (twenty-two years ago)

(that's so gross that I just vomited out of my ears)

― NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 11:34 (twenty-two years ago)

(that's so gross that i just spooged so much that it looked like i vomitted out of my dick)

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 11:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I've made white russians with heavy cream.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 12:17 (twenty-two years ago)

nine months pass...

so I come home at two in the afternoon and find that mr teeny has left a nearly-full half-gallon of milk on the counter accidentally, probably around 8 this morning when he had cereal before going to class. I just put it back in the fridge. WILL HE NOTICE???

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 28 June 2004 18:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I hear this thread title to the tune of "When the Shit Goes Down" by Cypress Hill.

― St. Nicholas (Nick A.), Monday, 28 June 2004 19:04 (twenty-one years ago)

They key here is how long the milk has to re-chill before Mr. Teeny gets home & pours a big ol' glass. Needless to say, suspicious warmth and a too-sweet left-out-too-long taste will be a dead giveaway. A couple of hours in the fridge should do the trick, though.

― briania (briania), Monday, 28 June 2004 19:20 (twenty-one years ago)

teeny you've ruined his "experiment"!!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 28 June 2004 21:12 (twenty-one years ago)

you're not the only one, nick. "...you better be ready!"

― oops (Oops), Monday, 28 June 2004 21:14 (twenty-one years ago)

"We've secretly replaced..."

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 28 June 2004 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

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