"I am a graduate of the university of life"

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does this phrase wind anyone else up as much as i does me? not that university attendance matters a fig really, just that i find the saying stupid and that it is generally used by people who have some axe to gring with "overprivileged youths scrounging of the state when they should be at work" etc...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:03 (twenty-two years ago)

just asking coz someone said this while ranting at me along similar lines over the weekend. i replied: "oh, so you're not only ignorant, you're actually quite pompous, too, congratulations..."

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought this was one of those cliches born entirely out of the minds of hack TV writers which no one in real life ever said. Guess I was wrong.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:07 (twenty-two years ago)

presumably you attend the University of Life after going to the School of Hard Knocks.

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:09 (twenty-two years ago)

After being used on TV enough people assume it's workable in real life

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:16 (twenty-two years ago)

People are pretty stupid

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:17 (twenty-two years ago)

People who only go to the "university of life" are especially stupid.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Dave Stelfox, you are a king among men.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:21 (twenty-two years ago)

doesn't everyone go to the university of life?

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:28 (twenty-two years ago)

well except for goths, who go to the university of clove cigarettes.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:28 (twenty-two years ago)

hott goth chix are an entirely different coven...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Do people really say this?

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:32 (twenty-two years ago)

"I am a graduate of the university of vodka"

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:32 (twenty-two years ago)

i went to the school of hard cocks

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:34 (twenty-two years ago)

they do indeed say it - up until saturday i had only heard it from cab drivers, tho...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:34 (twenty-two years ago)

"You see, I attended a little something called the school of hard drugs, you hear me?"

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you have to walk up hill both ways to the university of life?

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I think all of the people who say this should do some graduate study at the the school of Dan's right shoe all the way up your ass.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm assuming the school's football team is the FDNY flag football ramshackle team? They seem like they also went to the university of life.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:39 (twenty-two years ago)

i would be far more impressed by a qualification from the university of trife

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Do they have a sorority? How do you apply? Does it cost less than Columbia? Really? Oh.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:39 (twenty-two years ago)

It looks like you all dropped out of the high school of bad jokes.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Let's be honest here. No one ever has actually said this.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:41 (twenty-two years ago)

"Thank you for rushing Ima Kra Kho, the premier sorority at The University Of Life!"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Nick, Dan's joke was actually kind of funny.

(xpost! See?)

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:42 (twenty-two years ago)

(Dude, I graduated from the high school of bad jokes with HONORS.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I think if someone really said this to me, I'd piss myself laughing at them.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd be all, "Shouldn't you be dead, then?"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Were you Summa Cum Lauda?

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Magna Cum, baby.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:44 (twenty-two years ago)

"Graduate School of the Afterlife" sounds like something out of a bad episode of Touched by an Angel, though.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Summa is higher than Magnum!!!

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:45 (twenty-two years ago)

sororities/fraternities are the weirdest thing for british people to understand

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Hmm, bear in mind that it does have some truth: life can teach you a lot. Secondly it also hides an inferiority complex: Feeling less than a university graduate.

― nathalie (nathalie), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Magna Cum, baby.

(Because when I cum, metal objects fly towards my genitals. Oh, I don't like where this joke has gone.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:48 (twenty-two years ago)

(I blame hstencil for all the xposting.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:49 (twenty-two years ago)

People say it, man. But like you can LIVE and yet still attend University! Alert the reality police!

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:50 (twenty-two years ago)

i agree with nathalie, but i have absolutely no time for people with inferiority complexes

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:53 (twenty-two years ago)

come on... it’s just a way to protect oneself. Once again it’s all about class.
(x-post : what nathalie said)

― Bruno- (Bruno-), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:53 (twenty-two years ago)

it doesn't protect you at all, tho. it makes you sound like a wanker

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:54 (twenty-two years ago)

"Protect oneself" from what? I dropped out of high school and only just this year started going to university and you didn't see me wandering around announcing myself the valdictorian of hard knocks, did you? This thread isn't so much about making fun of people who are not university types but rather about people who feel the need to say something so retarded.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:55 (twenty-two years ago)

haha Jay-Z to thread.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Wow, that university must be pretty prestigious. After all, they let, uh, EVERYONE WHO'S ALIVE attend it.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh no, suddenly I'm Denis Leary.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:56 (twenty-two years ago)

thank you ally.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Dunno, what did you say to bring on this rant? (Remember the 'Pop Idol' guy who said "I CAN sing! I went to music school!")

― dave q, Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Like being Denis Leary is a bad thing.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:57 (twenty-two years ago)

i called they guy a stupid bastard while pontificating loudly upon the works of deleuze and guattari

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:59 (twenty-two years ago)

You were also waving a flag bearing the symbol of your Alma Matter, weren't you? Pretentious collegiate bastard.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Did you toss your sherry on him and swan off to a fox hunt afterwards?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 84 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

GENIUS

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:45 (twenty-two years ago)

You're not going to get me into that vicious circle Dan pulled again, you know. I might've been stupid enough to go for it once, but never twice.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:45 (twenty-two years ago)

That one takes a lot of inspiration from the Bauhaus. I'm quite pleased with it.

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:45 (twenty-two years ago)

"Bela Lugosi's Dead" or "Third Uncle"?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually, Adolf Loos' monograph 'Ornamentation and Crime'.

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:49 (twenty-two years ago)

And believe me, did Peter Murphy ever sing that one well.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:53 (twenty-two years ago)

this therad is more annoying than the "university of life" comment... i have created a monster

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I got a W&M shirt my senior year of high school too because I had to out-snob everyone who was excited about going to LSU (Louisiana State).

I can't stop laughing at that damn panda!

KNOCK KNOCK.
WHo's THERE?
A SAD PANDA!

http://www.gocollect.com/images/PotBellys/200/PBBPA.jpg

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Won't you love me? Don't slam that door in my face again!

http://www.gocollect.com/images/PotBellys/200/PBBPA.jpg

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Thursday, 25 September 2003 16:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm hungry! My tummy hurts!
http://www.gocollect.com/images/PotBellys/200/PBBPA.jpg

― Sarah MCLUsky (coco), Thursday, 25 September 2003 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

All this is making me really glad I'm about to get my degree from
here.

I bet they sell shirts in the mail, too! Hot damn!

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 25 September 2003 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not even gonna GET a degree, who am I kidding? I'm gonna be that sad fucker who is 50 years old yelling "I am a graduate from the university of LIFE!" to my kids who are all expecting me to suddenly PAY for them to go to some fancy ass motherfuck of a school, "No, you can go to ST. JOHN'S!!!!!!!!!!!!"

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 16:07 (twenty-two years ago)

to be 50 and have kids wailing at you for college money you're running out of time ally - you'll probably be nearer 60

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 16:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm 23 for fuck's sake!

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 16:11 (twenty-two years ago)

'My arms are actually fake and I am in fact masturbating copiously under this plush suit.'

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 25 September 2003 16:19 (twenty-two years ago)

oh dear momus have you noi sense of propriety - ally is only 23

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 16:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry, my Inner Dang is showing.

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 25 September 2003 16:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm just merely wondering how old Dave thinks I am that I am "running out of time" to have a child who will be 18 when I am around 50!! I am like secretly the ILX old crone or something. I have at least another 7 years before missing the "50" mark is even a concern!!! I don't want children anyway, they rip open your lower half or something to that effect, and then also the doctors don't take them out if they die?? I think that's what happened on the childlessness thread.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 16:24 (twenty-two years ago)

don't worry ally i was only messing around - i figured it wouldn't be much of a problem - i actually thought you were 25, but in no way an old crone!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 16:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Herman Melville said something like this in Moby Dick: "A whaleship was my Harvard..." etc.

― ryan (ryan), Thursday, 25 September 2003 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I would be so much more accepting of someone who said that to me though. I would be pretty impressed actually.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 25 September 2003 17:17 (twenty-two years ago)

God I hate Ivy Leaguers

― cinniblount (James Blount), Thursday, 25 September 2003 17:22 (twenty-two years ago)

but I like men in uniform :( :( :(

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 17:24 (twenty-two years ago)

stop sending us to war then! < /profound political statement>

― cinniblount (James Blount), Thursday, 25 September 2003 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

columbia is safe
yale is tired

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 17:33 (twenty-two years ago)

"Damn, I really wanted to go to the university of life but I couldn't get in. My qualifications weren't quite good enough. I've always regretted it."

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 25 September 2003 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

W&M ain't ivy league.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 25 September 2003 17:46 (twenty-two years ago)

knock knock

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 25 September 2003 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

.....

(ha ha, i was playing Knock Down Ginger - sucker...)

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 25 September 2003 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

University of Life is Ivy League.

― David. (Cozen), Thursday, 25 September 2003 18:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I haven't sent anyone to war, you bastard. You have me confused with the President, I know it's an easy mix up.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 18:07 (twenty-two years ago)

There was a great Letterman interview with Drew Barrymore a couple of years ago where she was going on and on about how much she loved learning--traveling around the world learning all sorts of wonderful things. Letterman asked her why she wouldn't go to college if she was so into enriching her mind. Barrymore replied that she felt she'd learn more in "the college of life," to which Letterman quipped: "I betcha this whole college of life crap wouldn't get you too far if you weren't a rich move star."

― cybele (cybele), Thursday, 25 September 2003 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

then she flashed him

― cinniblount (James Blount), Thursday, 25 September 2003 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm still laughing at 'asshat', has that been in use for a while?

― nick.K (nick.K), Thursday, 25 September 2003 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

who wants to see my U of Life class ring?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 25 September 2003 19:50 (twenty-two years ago)

http://209.70.53.68/wblmgraphics/finger.jpg

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 25 September 2003 19:54 (twenty-two years ago)

i can bring princeton stuff! (i was too dumb to attend there, and my parents were dumb enough to move there)

― Little Big Macher (llamasfur), Friday, 26 September 2003 20:34 (twenty-two years ago)

i've been to every university and have majored in everything. in short, i am better than you. i just graduated in securing a position in life that is better than yours. i sit in an office and control your fathers, uncles and aunts thoughts. you deserve your lot in life. i will direct your every move in no time. i am fortunate by the grace of my work ethic. you are lazy and of mild intelligence. the world is best in my control.

― joe cockers, Friday, 26 September 2003 20:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I only got into the University of Life because I couldn't hack it in the real world

― Neil Willett (Neil Willett), Friday, 26 September 2003 21:43 (twenty-two years ago)

i graduated from bovine university.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Saturday, 27 September 2003 02:57 (twenty-two years ago)

this thread is comic brilliance.

(players university, class of 86/i don't pay and i don't trick)

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Saturday, 27 September 2003 05:19 (twenty-two years ago)

two months pass...

Revive!

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Friday, 12 December 2003 19:30 (twenty-two years ago)

No no, it will upset NA!!!

― Allyzay, Friday, 12 December 2003 19:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Why was I so much funnier three months ago than I am now? I'm killer on this thread.

― NA (Nick A.), Friday, 12 December 2003 19:34 (twenty-two years ago)

For real Nick, take your funny pills or something.

I am currently a professor at the Institute for Being a Total Fucking Idiot.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 12 December 2003 19:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I recently graduated from the university of hyperbole.

― NA (Nick A.), Friday, 12 December 2003 19:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Holy shit, I fogrot all about that "knock knock" exchange.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 12 December 2003 19:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I have an advanced degree in Snooze.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Friday, 12 December 2003 19:37 (twenty-two years ago)

The whole "Orange you glad I didn't kick you more than once" statement is the basis for my University of Life thesis actually.

― Allyzay, Friday, 12 December 2003 20:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I need to use the phrase "I am a graduate of the school of _________" more often.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 13 December 2003 05:32 (twenty-two years ago)

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