The day of really slow fruit eating.

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Today I have seen four people taking extrdinary amounts of time to eat fruit. Okay, one was an elderly man with a pear, so we can excuse him with false teeth. The others...

Man eating an apricot at Finsbury Park bus station. It took him 20 MINUTES. Apricots are tiny.

Girl eating banana in Reckless Records. She held it half eaten in her hand for nearly half an hour and brwosed vinyl with the other.

My flatmate, staring at some grapes for ages before finally eating one, then going back to staring at them.

I don't know why I've posted this. How long does it take you to eat fruit?

― Anna (Anna), Friday, 26 September 2003 15:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I have nothing to contribute, other than to observe that the above post is glorious.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Friday, 26 September 2003 15:44 (twenty-two years ago)

it takes me less time to eat a grape than it takes my servants to peel them

anyway, i just love the idea of Anna just staring at people as they eat fruit (slowly). i imagine her losing patience as another OAP baulks at eating an entire satsuma and just screaming 'JUST CRAM IT IN YOU FOSSIL!' before sauntering off to buy more electro 12"s

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 26 September 2003 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

god, this woman i work with who sits near me and is always i my line of vision just took about 45 minutes to eat a tiny cup of sliced watermelon. she gnawed on each piece for two days. i think i saw juice dribble down her overpowdered chin! And there was no attempt at wiping it off!!

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Friday, 26 September 2003 16:18 (twenty-two years ago)

i am actually a really slow-eater but i like to think i carry off a certain dignity with it

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 26 September 2003 16:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I have been known to eat slowly, but only if I'm engaged in conversation. Because people always seem to ask me a question just as I've put grub in my gullet.

Though I can eat a banana in 10 seconds--and make it look sexy in a non-homoerotic way.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 26 September 2003 16:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Though I guess gay men would probably find it pretty damn sexy too (since I'm so hot). Lesbians though...I just ain't got what they want.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 26 September 2003 16:27 (twenty-two years ago)

maybe they want your banana for themselves?

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 26 September 2003 16:33 (twenty-two years ago)

That's just a porno myth!

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 26 September 2003 16:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Ladies, back me up here...

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 26 September 2003 16:37 (twenty-two years ago)

that girl with the banana, are you sure she wasn't holding a copy of VU and Nico?

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Friday, 26 September 2003 16:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Though I can eat a banana in 10 seconds--and make it look sexy in a non-homoerotic way.

If it ain't homoerotic, it ain't erotic. I mean, there's a reason why nobody ever says anything is "heteroerotic".

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 26 September 2003 16:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I usually wince in terror at the thought of eating fruit. I like wine gums though!

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 26 September 2003 16:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Are wine gums like wine jellies? Or whatever the heck Pynchon goes on about in Gravity's Rainbow?

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 26 September 2003 16:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Probably, you know like chewy fruit flavoured sweets!

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 26 September 2003 16:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Why were you timing all these people eating fruit? I normally eat very fast but lately I cannot because my stomach is not holding things down properly, so I eat bananas slowly :(

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 26 September 2003 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Why were you timing all these people eating fruit?
Yeah, you're the one with the problem, lady!

http://lilt.ilstu.edu/rtdirks/images/last%20banana.jpg

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 26 September 2003 17:00 (twenty-two years ago)

THe ladies at my last work ate raw carrots VERY SLOWLY every day. I can't imagine they ate much else.

I eat fruit so fast I might as well swallow it whole.

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Friday, 26 September 2003 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

some people like to savor the taste, and pretend they are eating other kinds of fruit?

― Vic (Vic), Friday, 26 September 2003 17:07 (twenty-two years ago)

banana envy?

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Friday, 26 September 2003 17:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe the eating of fruit is the only thing that they have to live for, gives them a respite from the crushing tedium of life. Oh why won't you let them languish in their fruity sanctum?

― oops (Oops), Friday, 26 September 2003 18:34 (twenty-two years ago)

love the fruit your with.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 26 September 2003 18:37 (twenty-two years ago)

love the fruit you're with.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 26 September 2003 18:37 (twenty-two years ago)

damn i really thought i'd got to the stop button in time.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 26 September 2003 18:37 (twenty-two years ago)

you can never EVER get to the stop button in time.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 26 September 2003 20:05 (twenty-two years ago)

love the fruit your width

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 26 September 2003 20:06 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.prideshoppe.com/2tifow.jpg

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 26 September 2003 21:39 (twenty-two years ago)

When I drive late at night, my method for fighting off sleep is to eat an apple very slowly. It once took me 1.5 hours to eat an apple. My steering wheel got sticky though.

― Carey (Carey), Friday, 26 September 2003 21:42 (twenty-two years ago)

some people like to savor the taste, and pretend they are eating other kinds of fruit?

Some people like to savor the taste, and draw out the sensual experience?

Momus to thread!

― j.lu (j.lu), Friday, 26 September 2003 21:46 (twenty-two years ago)

10 seconds for a banana is about my upper limit! What's to do with it? Just stick it in!

Like stevem, I would like to watch Anna watch people eat fruit really slowly. If the fruit eater were to be further delayed by watching me, then we would have a socially relevant C.21 update of Game For A Laugh on our hands with added spice.

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 27 September 2003 16:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, if the fruit rots before you finish eating it, you're eating it way too slowly.

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Sunday, 28 September 2003 00:47 (twenty-two years ago)

If you rot before you finish eating it, you have other problems.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 28 September 2003 01:01 (twenty-two years ago)

10 seconds for a banana is about my upper limit! What's to do with it? Just stick it in!

Oh, Dan....

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Sunday, 28 September 2003 01:09 (twenty-two years ago)

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