Who all up in this bitch is Jewish?

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Happy New Year dudes!!

― Annouschka Magnatech (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 27 September 2003 18:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Rosh Ha Shannah

― Annouschka Magnatech (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 27 September 2003 18:56 (twenty-two years ago)

True Story.

So I say to my roommate, "You're all dressed up, where are you going?"

He says, "Temple."

I reply, "Oh I hear that place is cool, the club on Wilshire, right?"

He says, "No Dude. I'm going to temple. It's Rosh Ha Shannah."

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Saturday, 27 September 2003 19:07 (twenty-two years ago)

everyone in
my family (wife and kids)
is, but I am not.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Saturday, 27 September 2003 19:30 (twenty-two years ago)

me, i am! thanks annouschka. i didn't go to any family dinners or religious services. i guess i'm a bad jew. so far in the new year i've sat on my ass and downloaded twista remixes and obie trice and vashti bunyan.

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Saturday, 27 September 2003 19:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Shalom

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Saturday, 27 September 2003 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

The time my friend Steve Mandel convinced me I'd have to wear a uniform for his family's Passover dinner ranks as my favorite 'wool pulled over my eyes' moment.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 27 September 2003 19:38 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm not ... i'm catholic ... but IRL everyone thinks that i am.

to those ILXors who are Jewish (and if yer Jewish and live in the EST as I post this, YOU SHOULD BE IN TEMPLE NOW NOT HERE!), L'Shanah Tovah!

― Little Big Macher (llamasfur), Saturday, 27 September 2003 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

shanah tovah etc from a lapsed jew.

― amateurist (amateurist), Saturday, 27 September 2003 19:47 (twenty-two years ago)

(i didn't even know it was high holidays.)

― amateurist (amateurist), Saturday, 27 September 2003 19:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I have a friend who has a German surname, so everyone thinks he is Jewish. Particularly his friends' parents. Irish people are weird.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Saturday, 27 September 2003 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

'Shana tova' to all my tribal ilxors. Happy 5764. (Beat that... you gentiles with yer 'oh oh its the third millenium'.)

― bnw (bnw), Saturday, 27 September 2003 21:27 (twenty-two years ago)

LET US HAVE OUR FUN. ;-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 27 September 2003 21:28 (twenty-two years ago)

tremble puny earthlings

― dawnie lizard is 10248579087019345 in october (mark s), Saturday, 27 September 2003 21:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Happy Ro Sha Sha Na (Na)!

― felicity (felicity), Saturday, 27 September 2003 21:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Add another lapsed jew to that mighty list.

― adaml (adaml), Saturday, 27 September 2003 22:17 (twenty-two years ago)

― shiksa goddess (rosemary), Saturday, 27 September 2003 23:36 (twenty-two years ago)

The time my friend Steve Mandel convinced me I'd have to wear a uniform for his family's Passover dinner ranks as my favorite 'wool pulled over my eyes' moment.

And it was a Catholic schoolgirl uniform to boot.

For some reason, everyone thinks I'm either Jewish or English. I don't know why.

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Sunday, 28 September 2003 00:15 (twenty-two years ago)

They think you're Marc Bolan? This is a good thing!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 28 September 2003 00:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Marc Bolan. Serge Gainsbourg. Sammy Davis Jr. Leonard Nimoy. Me.

― Douglas (Douglas), Sunday, 28 September 2003 00:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Winona Ryder! Rachel Weisz!

― adaml (adaml), Sunday, 28 September 2003 00:42 (twenty-two years ago)

JOEY RAMONE. Also Man of 1,000 Holds Dean Malenko.

And me, converted/lapsed. I don't eat pork and I call people "schmuck" fairly often but I don't do the whole synagogue thing, really. Most of my observance is with family.

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Sunday, 28 September 2003 03:22 (twenty-two years ago)

And man, Hebrew Nationals are without a doubt the best frankfurters ever. They have the rabbi's name computer-printed on the plastic wrapping right next to the expiration date, which is interesting.

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Sunday, 28 September 2003 03:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Happy New Year ILX!

― lyra (lyra), Sunday, 28 September 2003 03:33 (twenty-two years ago)

i don't know! it's all very complicated. i guess i'm not jewish, but i have ancestral ties. i look like a jew. happy new yr jody and all the proper jews in the house!

― minna (minna), Sunday, 28 September 2003 03:40 (twenty-two years ago)

i am a lapsed jew, and i really started to lapse when i went to Israel as part of the Hillel Birthright Israel thingamajig. most of the people i met on the trip were amalgamations of the worst stereotypes (well not THE worst, as i saw no horns ;-) ) and it was depressing. i spent most of the trip eating hummus in hotel buffets and arguing about capitalism with a tufts business major. where are the jews who would have been marxist agitators in the LES in the early 20th century? am i the only one? ;-)

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Sunday, 28 September 2003 06:27 (twenty-two years ago)

its marc bolan's birthday on tuesday

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Sunday, 28 September 2003 07:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Shana Tova to one and all. I have 'married out' but I went to shool yesterday. The service was complemented by a parallel 'explanatory session', which was better attended than the main event. Unfortunately, I got the giggles, as I always do in the synagogue - there seems to be a gland that reacts when I set foot in the place - and my body was shaking uncontrollably by the end.

― Daniel (dancity), Sunday, 28 September 2003 07:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Ms Lurex, I found myself in Golders Green Crematorium (as a tourist, I hasten to point out) last Sunday and saw the plethora of Bolan tributes, given that it was the anniversary of his death. I am led to believe that there are lots of famous people there - Keith Moon, Peter Sellers etc. What a fantastic resting place. Fabulous red brick arches, beautiful ponds, willow trees, koi carp.

― Daniel (dancity), Sunday, 28 September 2003 07:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Marx was Jewish! Best Jew ever!

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Sunday, 28 September 2003 08:16 (twenty-two years ago)

sinkah = singer prob/poss, but if so the fact is now completely buried in lost family history

my grandad used occasionally to INSIST it wz a good old anglo-saxon name (which no one else in the country happens ever to have been called), which suggests he knew or suspected and was prejudiced or afraid

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 28 September 2003 08:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Marx was Jewish! Best Jew ever!

Ahem: second best.

http://www.driko.org/smallpics/davidleeroth.jpg

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Sunday, 28 September 2003 13:35 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.metal-sludge.com/GeneWig.jpg

― Annouschka Magnatech (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 28 September 2003 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

two live jews!

http://hine53.hp.infoseek.co.jp/CoverArt/Rockwell-Bloom&Koope.gif

― Annouschka Magnatech (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 28 September 2003 13:47 (twenty-two years ago)

(haha, yes i did already post that on a cover connections thread w/ that one ladytron cover)

― Annouschka Magnatech (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 28 September 2003 13:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I know a jew.

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 28 September 2003 13:51 (twenty-two years ago)

gesundheit

― Annouschka Magnatech (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 28 September 2003 13:52 (twenty-two years ago)

thanks.

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 28 September 2003 13:55 (twenty-two years ago)

shana tova haverim!

― s1utsky (slutsky), Sunday, 28 September 2003 14:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not a good Jew, though I can still read Hebrew

― s1utsky (slutsky), Sunday, 28 September 2003 14:55 (twenty-two years ago)

L'shanah tovah, motherfuckers!

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Sunday, 28 September 2003 16:13 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.berklee.edu/commencement/2001/images/steely.jpg

p.s. marx was a self-hating jew.

― amateurist (amateurist), Sunday, 28 September 2003 16:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Why does Fagen look like Fred Gwynne in that picture? Creeepy.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Sunday, 28 September 2003 16:21 (twenty-two years ago)

too much haroset.

― amateurist (amateurist), Sunday, 28 September 2003 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.artistdirect.com/Images/Sources/AMGCOVERS/music/cover200/dre200/e242/e242144ova5.jpg

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Sunday, 28 September 2003 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

i live with a couple Jewish supremacists

― D Aziz (esquire1983), Sunday, 28 September 2003 19:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm surprised no one's quoted that Adam Sandler Hannukah song yet.

― nickn (nickn), Sunday, 28 September 2003 19:57 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.classicphotos.com/celebs/f-817.jpg
http://www.fashion-planet.com/sept98/features/marilyn/marilyn/m0255.jpg

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Sunday, 28 September 2003 20:21 (twenty-two years ago)

chaki = jew

― chaki (chaki), Sunday, 28 September 2003 20:26 (twenty-two years ago)

re: Daniel's earlier posting about giggling in shul - well, I was with him yesterday I have to add, and we did rather find it an absolute goldmine of punning opportunity and general absurdity. Which I suppose religious occasions that you understand but feel somewhat outside of tend to do.

I have also married out after a childhood entirely spent at Jewish schools, though I do support Tottenham if that's any extra Jew-credentials.

Other favourite Jews not yet mentioned btw - Brian Epstein, Jody Scheckter, Sharon Osbourne, Beck, 10cc, Woody Allen (natch...)

England's Jewish Chrocnicle is always trying to claim famous people as Jews - recent highlights have been Craig David (apparently he is the real Mccoy !) and David Beckham (Dad's side only, so not quite).

― darren (darren), Sunday, 28 September 2003 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 241 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

so are all the jews hanging out at their folks' places tonight?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:25 (twenty-one years ago)

i need a smoke

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:25 (twenty-one years ago)

i have not laughed this much at a thread in hours.

― lauren (laurenp), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:25 (twenty-one years ago)

shouldn't the rule punish the torah dropper?
In this case, it just fell over, so no single person could be blamed.

all this does is encourage shul-goers to avert their eyes from the torah at all times.

I don't think so, you're supposed to celebrate and learn from the Torah. You can't do this and also avert your eyes -- and without Torah, there is no Judaism.

(xposts)

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:26 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm smoking in my parents' basement. so yes to your question.

― lauren (laurenp), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:26 (twenty-one years ago)

(the news story was about how wal-mart was selling the protocols of the elders of zion online and being all cute about whether it was real or not, all "you judge for yourself! but you'll never see world affairs the same way again, wink wink!")

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:28 (twenty-one years ago)

wtf? well at least there's no cussin' in it.

― Elliot (Elliot), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, because when you're trying to peddle theories of worldwide Jewish conspiracies, you don't want to offend people by using foul language.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:36 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm always suprised to find certain friends that are in no other way religious or observant trying to convince me that there's something vitally spiritual about not eating for a day

This is exactly what my housemate is like. I feel a bit mean now, since I had bacon for breakfast. Bacon is the one food he's almost totally incapable of resisting and now our whole house smells of gorgeous smoked organic bacon. I'd forgotten he was fasting, even though I was teasing him about biting his nails last night. I'd have had scrambled eggs if I'd thought about it.

― Anna (Anna), Saturday, 25 September 2004 09:30 (twenty-one years ago)

In this case, [the Torah] just fell over, so no single person could be blamed.

In this case, God would be to blame since He controls all events and happenings, but you can't blame God, so the blame falls back down to Man. That's kinda it in a nutshell. Western religion = Blaming Man. The "out" is that each religion assumes that they're the chosen ones, so the blame's nuthin' compared to the pay-off. What a revelation.

Anyone here ever been to the Blaming Man festival?

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Saturday, 25 September 2004 12:21 (twenty-one years ago)

PHEAR my pork fat.

http://southsidecallbox.com/images/food/breakfast.jpg

― Cripps Pink (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 25 September 2004 12:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I love this thread. (Though I'm not Jewish, one of my favorite kid's books was a Jewish holiday book that talked about various good recipes for appropriate holidays. Purim always sounded cool.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 25 September 2004 14:09 (twenty-one years ago)

im not fasting at all for the first time in probably 15 years. last year i fasted about half the day (but i smoked cigarettes) and went to shul, but this year i am not doing anything of the sort. I had chinese food last night, and eggs this morning. it's great to eat food.

― AaronK (AaronK), Saturday, 25 September 2004 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm named after the hero of purim! (well my hebrew name anyway)

― mordechai (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 14:36 (twenty-one years ago)

jody i like how you made your bacon and eggs on a paper plate! or served them on a paper plate i mean. it's even more defiantly goyish!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 14:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I will now eat eggs.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Saturday, 25 September 2004 15:03 (twenty-one years ago)

i didn't eat breakfast, but that's because i was asleep. i'm going to have an omelette soon.

― lauren (laurenp), Saturday, 25 September 2004 15:21 (twenty-one years ago)

*cries* All this omelette talk is making me so happy. Maybe I'll have one for lunch.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 25 September 2004 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

interesting, i had scrambled eggs for breakfast. and for lunch it was melted chocolate i found in my car (i'm at university and the cafe is closed). also, my back hurts and my stop motion animation is going rather poorly.

― m. (mitchlnw), Saturday, 25 September 2004 16:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I want to make animations too!

― adam. (nordicskilla), Saturday, 25 September 2004 16:46 (twenty-one years ago)

if you drop the torah, you pick it up and kiss it and all is ok. seriously.

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Saturday, 25 September 2004 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

that's what I was going to say! Doesn't everyone in the room have to kiss it though?

― adam. (nordicskilla), Saturday, 25 September 2004 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Thinking about my housemate and many of my neighbors fasting makes me hungry!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Saturday, 25 September 2004 17:55 (twenty-one years ago)

jody i like how you made your bacon and eggs on a paper plate! or served them on a paper plate i mean. it's even more defiantly goyish!

what's goyish about paper plates?

― Cripps Pink (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 25 September 2004 17:58 (twenty-one years ago)

i have never developed a taste for bacon or ham

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Saturday, 25 September 2004 19:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I like bacon sometimes but that's it. Some shellfish is good, though.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Saturday, 25 September 2004 19:13 (twenty-one years ago)

what's goyish about paper plates?

i dunno they just seem like they would be in the goyish column in that lenny bruce "jewish/goyish" routine!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 19:16 (twenty-one years ago)

we always ate our chinese food on paper plates.

― Cripps Pink (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 25 September 2004 19:47 (twenty-one years ago)

in the supermarket today i saw a kosher chinese food section!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 19:50 (twenty-one years ago)

weird.

i almost went to a kosher chinese place on the upper west side but was scared off by a crowd of hasidim

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Sunday, 26 September 2004 03:33 (twenty-one years ago)

"stay awaaaaaaayyy!!!"

― s1ocki (slutsky), Sunday, 26 September 2004 03:58 (twenty-one years ago)

gah s1utsky i wish i had AIM

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Sunday, 26 September 2004 03:59 (twenty-one years ago)

bored too huh? why not just download it!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Sunday, 26 September 2004 03:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Since I discovered chicken bacon I have little use for real bacon. It's just as tasty, it's healthier (less fat), and it doesn't stink up the whole apartment for the rest of the day.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Sunday, 26 September 2004 04:01 (twenty-one years ago)

on my modem? fat chance

xpost

"you're whole style tastes like turkey bacon" -- who said that?

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Sunday, 26 September 2004 04:01 (twenty-one years ago)

"i'm always suprised to find certain friends that are in no other way religious or observant trying to convince me that there's something vitally spiritual about not eating for a day"

That could in theory apply to me. I'm not especially observant during the year, and I've married out, but Yom Kippur has a certain pull. I don't think it is "vitally spritual", but I do think it's a pretty positive thing to do.

I don't particularly enjoy going to shool - I spend most of the time looking at my watch - but I can't stop myself from going on YK. The Rabbi at the shool where I live now held a question and answer session instead of a sermon yesterday, which was great. One question seemed particularly relevant: Is it possible to enjoy Jewish rituals without believing in G-d? The Rabbi's answer was that practising rituals with an open mind was better than doing so robotically. He also admitted that proving the existence of G-d was "a tricky issue". You can say that again!

― Japanese Giraffe (Japanese Giraffe), Sunday, 26 September 2004 07:46 (twenty-one years ago)

rabbi in dodging the question and not demonstrating miracle shoka

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Sunday, 26 September 2004 07:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, he ultimately gave the predictable answer that without G-d, etc etc, but I thought the other stuff was relevant to this discussion.

― Japanese Giraffe (Japanese Giraffe), Sunday, 26 September 2004 08:12 (twenty-one years ago)

AIM is easily downloadable on dial-up.

― cºzen (Cozen), Sunday, 26 September 2004 08:18 (twenty-one years ago)

my grandfather was jewish.

― gaz (gaz), Sunday, 26 September 2004 08:23 (twenty-one years ago)

so would you say you got something out of fasting this year, giraffe? (i'm not trying to be belligerent or anything, i'm just skeptical about what seems to me the personally limited relevance of 'godless' ritual)(though you didn't say that was *your* position)

(btw john kerry's grandfather was jewish too it seems. he might've even been descended from a famousish rabbi, apparently.)

― m. (mitchlnw), Sunday, 26 September 2004 09:11 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a fair question, m. One of the reasons I practise the (few) rituals i do is because of a certain bloody-mindedness - it would be a fuckload easier not to. So from that very general perspective, I'm pleased I do it (or that I don't not do it).

More specifically... I guess the last hour, neilah, is hard work, but the headiest bit. Partly willing it to be over, partly getting quite involved in the prayers that get sung over and over (adonai adonai...). It's quite hypnotic. And I genuinely don't talk while the ark is open. This year the person i chat to most in the world was standing next to me and we didn't say a word to one another for an hour.

Theres a part of me that likes the fact that I wouldn't otherwise choose to do something of that nature. It really does concentrate the mind and there is something vaguely humbling about it.

― Japanese Giraffe (Japanese Giraffe), Sunday, 26 September 2004 20:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Articles about Kerry's Jewish roots:
http://www.jewishsf.com/bk030207/us02.shtml

http://judaism.about.com/od/jewishgenealogy/a/jewpas_kerry.htm

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Sunday, 26 September 2004 21:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Might as well post this here:

Hanukah Hey Ya

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Sunday, 26 September 2004 22:37 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm afraid to click on that!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 27 September 2004 00:44 (twenty-one years ago)

it'll give you the clap

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Monday, 27 September 2004 00:58 (twenty-one years ago)

you mean, you'll want to clap along!

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Monday, 27 September 2004 01:05 (twenty-one years ago)

you mean "the clap" has another meaning?

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Monday, 27 September 2004 04:17 (twenty-one years ago)

the quebec film industry mag is called "le clap"!!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 27 September 2004 04:18 (twenty-one years ago)

when i was about 7 i went through a compulsive lying phase in which i told everyone i knew that i was jewish. i even did a bit of research into the religion in order to be more convincing. this was clearly not going to work, considering i grew up in a very small southern kentucky town that did not even have a temple. or a single jew that i ever knew of. the fact that i looked like the poster child for the aryan nation didn't help either. but my parents thought that it was hilarious when they found out what i had been up to. my dad even took me out of town to temple the next weekend, it was a good hour and half's drive to get there.

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Monday, 27 September 2004 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.