i think have these moments quite often, where i realize i'm acting in the way that i see people who make me wonder why they're acting so weird act. often it's the little things - arts and drama people (the people i'm around most of the time), are often pretty physical when it comes to everyday contact - kissing, hugging etc. everyday physicality isn't something i'm good at, so often i'll wonder if this person now expects me to kiss them on the cheek or hug them hello and then worry that i've spent too long thinking about it so that if i do it now it'll seem weird or forced or if i should rather pretend to be fiddling with getting some change out of my wallet or whatever so my hesistancy can be read as 'otherwise occupied' etc etc. i think my behaviour in certain situations is quite obviously uncomfortable/strange, maybe more than i realize even.
is it just me?
― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Saturday, 27 September 2003 20:47 (twenty-two years ago)
― Ronan (Ronan), Saturday, 27 September 2003 20:52 (twenty-two years ago)
― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Saturday, 27 September 2003 20:54 (twenty-two years ago)
― robin (robin), Saturday, 27 September 2003 20:55 (twenty-two years ago)
― Ronan (Ronan), Saturday, 27 September 2003 20:56 (twenty-two years ago)
― Hmmm... (Nick Southall), Saturday, 27 September 2003 21:15 (twenty-two years ago)
― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 28 September 2003 07:56 (twenty-two years ago)
I like to tell myself that the fact I can check myself is important - the moment you *aren't* seeing a behaviour as bad and people have to tell you you're out of line, is when it's going too far.
― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 28 September 2003 08:17 (twenty-two years ago)
all of us get this when we are put in novel situations. you learn from the experience.
― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 28 September 2003 08:56 (twenty-two years ago)
― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Sunday, 28 September 2003 09:44 (twenty-two years ago)
Just thoughts really...no opinion either way, as I'm one who is very rooted in the "fuck I'm a babbling fool" camp far too much of the time and am struggling with it myself.
― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 28 September 2003 09:46 (twenty-two years ago)
I think it's necessary, really, for the weirdo to come out of the closet and not be a shrinking violet about his or her strangeness - even if such strangeness is only sporadic rather than chronic. There seems to be no doubt that many people love and treasure harmless but interesting weirdos. I know I certainly do.
Never apologise for being a weirdo. Many of my friends are quite eccentric, and I would be horrified if any one of them became apologetic about their uniqueness. I would rather normal people apologised for not being weird enough.
As for people laying strangeness trips on us for our weird behaviour (which is really what the topic's about I think), the question becomes this: how do we protect ouselves from losing confidence in such a situation?
I would like to know your answers to this very important question, as every weirdo could use the tools and techniques to avoid being undermined simply for not following minor social rules. I think the answer has to do with systematically ridding yourself of all forms of self-monitoring. Self monitoring is the process by which one says 'what am I doing?', 'is this appropriate?', 'did I just come over as an idiot?' and so on. That inner voice might be attenuated, or even disappear completely - making one that most envied of souls, the completely unselfconscious weirdo.
― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Sunday, 28 September 2003 10:30 (twenty-two years ago)
Colin, this is a very very cool thing to say, and has brightened my (rather frazzled) day considerably. I needed a fresh perspective and that is it. Thanks! :)
― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 29 September 2003 01:14 (twenty-two years ago)
― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Monday, 29 September 2003 01:17 (twenty-two years ago)