Laundry advice

I did my laundry today and I'm displeased. (Some of you may have the luxury of at-home washers and dryers, but I have to haul my nasty rags to the laundromat down the street, so I hate it going to all that effort and expense and getting crappy results.) My "day job" keeps me outdoors and gets me very muddy and gross and I've used the most expensive detergents, bleach, stain removers, all that stuff, and tried various settings, but my goddamn clothes are still mud-and-grass-stained. I want to sue these goddamn detergent companies that put those commercials on showing how their stuff removes blood and grass and gets your whites whiter and so on, it's all lies I tell you, vicious, vicious lies. Oh, I'm so bitter.