are you sezzual? (or, do i make you horny?)

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a thread idear before i settle down for a (semi) long, uh, fall nap...

i had sex today, for the first time in, okay, well forever. (not bragging because a. it wasn't that great. b. it wasn't who i wanted to have it with. [sex = lub? yes, i'm one of *those*...] and c. i have a feeling most il*ers arent virgins...) now i've bedded a fair amount of lasses in my time, but it occurred to me while at work later (yes, the almighty "nooner") that i don't even remotely consider myself "sexy" or even a "sexual" person. partly this has to do with image/self-conscious issues, but partly that i've never consciously sought sex out, just sort of fell-into-it more or less. (in fact i still - despite what a teenage-era therapist told me - feel highly uncomfortably generally around the fairer sex, at least subconsciously...something which has not changed since the pre-sex days.) so...do you consider yourself "sexy" or the more nebulous but interestin "sexual"? do you attempt to act so, look so, convey so?

― jess, Tuesday, 2 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

new! new! yeah, baby, that's it!

― jess, Tuesday, 2 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I am a highly sexual creature. Couldn't you tell by that HOT picture I posted of my arm?

― Sam-at-home, Tuesday, 2 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I do not mate. I shall clone

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 2 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Hanle y's a hyrda. Neat. Let's start cutting.

Feeling particularly sexless & non-personable recently (despite my developing physique - ooo, yeah, feel the burn), I have always felt silly when I attempt to exude any type of sexual vibe. Really, I think folks are at their sexiest when they're themselves - hence, Jess, you "falling into it" by virtue of not even trying. (It's a Zen state, this non-sexy sexiness; I'm too self-aware to achieve such nirvana, unfortunately.)

― David Raposa, Tuesday, 2 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I can usually admit to being good looking, but don't really think of myself as sexy. The two are pretty different, though, I mean someone can be not all that good looking but still have a lot of sex appeal, or vice-versa. I can't worry if I'm sexy or not, all you can do is try and look good and be yourself. As far as sexual... yeah, absolutely.

― Sean, Tuesday, 2 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I dunno Sean, you looked pretty damn sexy to me in that photo.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Tuesday, 2 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Jess your question was very good. do you have an 'internet diary.' i try to act as ugly as possible. did you know that the more vindictively ugly you try to be the more people will assail you. but perhaps it isn't as simple as that. sex is NEVER good.

― maryann, Tuesday, 2 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

"(It's a Zen state, this non-sexy sexiness; I'm too self-aware to achieve such nirvana, unfortunately.)"

gah, damn you popshots for summing up the never ending struggle so succinctly. ;)

and i really can't tell if maryann's post...and what of it...was sarcastic or not. hrm.

― jess, Tuesday, 2 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

sex is NEVER good

Thank god this statement is bullshit.

― Sean, Tuesday, 2 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Oh, and thank you, Richard. Happy Birthday, btw.

― Sean, Tuesday, 2 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

see picture thread and decide for yourself.

I'll tell you what I think in the morning

― Ed, Tuesday, 2 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I refuse to answer on the grounds that I might incriminate myself. And yet I've not had worries. ;-)

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 2 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Hanle y's a hyrda. Neat. Let's start cutting.

That's one of the funniest things I've read on these boards yet.

With questions like the one posed in the header, I always think of that In Living Color spoof of Grace Jones, where she goes up to people and screams, "DO YOU THINK I'M SEXY?!?!?!"

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Tuesday, 2 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I'm not at all sexy. I hate sex. But I'm very sexual. Figure that out.

― Ally, Tuesday, 2 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I wasn't being sarcastic when I said 'do you have an 'internet diary' so do you or not?

Maybe I think sex is good, and I just don't understand what people mean when they say it's good. If they mean 'I feel pleasure' I suppose I understand. But when people say that sex is good they seem to mean something different from when they say 'reading is good'.

― maryann, Tuesday, 2 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

What are the mating rituals of Vulcans?

And are those pointy ears involved??

― dinosaur, Tuesday, 2 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Ally is not sexy!

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 2 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I get sex like 9 times a week and that does not count oral or foreplay. This week we have done it in the living room, the kitchen and the bedroom . We do not have weekend sex as a rule.

― anthony, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

How the hell do you have time to post so often?

Sex, hm, I feel miles from any relationship where that'd be plausible. Great, now I'm all sad and shit.

― bnw, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i do not post that often !

― anthony, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

has anyone every posted while having sex?

― Mike Hanle y, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I am not SXE or SEXY or YVES.

― jel, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

As you can undoubtedly infer from my picture, women run away from me screaming...

― Kodanshi, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

The thought of someone posting while on the job is too gross for words.

― Billy Dods, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

You cannot tell if someone is sexy just from their picture, you have to see them in real life cos it's not just about looks it's about the way they are. Other people have told me I am sexy (not just those who are trying to get me into bed either) and I am quite prepared to believe them.

― Emma, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I refuse to answer this question because you used the phrase 'bedding'. Does anyone really say this outside of bad American movies?

― Nick, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Tabloids do, which led to me & Pete having a HUGE row on holiday about the correct grammatical usage of the verb 'to bed'. Apparently Robbie said 'I bedded Geri' or something and Pete reckoned the past tense of 'to bed' should be 'I bed', the fule. He also claimed the past tense of tabloidese 'to wed' should be 'I wed' rather than 'I wedded'.

― Emma, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

"Now I'm alone: now I can think for myself" — as evah, wise words from the Nu-Man.

― mark s, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

maryann: yes, i do...and if you scroll down a couple of threads you'll find a link...not enough coffee to fiddle with even the most basic of html this morn...

and as for you dastoor...i have no idea...i used it becuz i thought it sounded "english"...keeping in mind all my knowledge of england comes from benny hill.

― jess, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Am I sexy? No, not at all, not even a little bit. I am intimidated by overt sexiness. I project an image of weakness, a complete lack of physical potency. I could replicate my success with girls by running into the street wearing nothing but orthodontic headgear, knee-length purple socks and a 'power tie' while shouting Hanle y-isms (no offense Mike) in broken German at the passing ladies.

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

'To bed' is British? Well, I suppose as in 'And so to bed' but I'm sure that's not what Pepys meant. Can someone help me out here?

― Nick, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Sorry to break this to you, Sexy Emma, but your Paul = correct. "I bed" and not "I bedded".

― Kodanshi, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

"Bedding" is the fluffy stuff my childhood hamster stored in its blue plastic house. There is nothing sexy about bedding at all.

― Trevor, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Kodanshi you are on extra-strong crack as per. Paul = Ptee, for a start. And as Emma's guiding light John Wesley put it, "See... that your horse be rubbed, fed and bedded."

― mark s, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yes I am always right as usual. In a sexy sort of way of course.

― Emma, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yay Anthony! My man and I also average 9-10 times a week. I can say no more b/c not only does he sometimes read this board but has started posting on ILM (!). Our private life is off-limits (thus the 'private').

― Samantha, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Paul? Is that me? Did I post here?

Anyway, I am almost shockingly unsexy, I'm sorry to say. I always seem far too uptight to be sexual. Ah well.

― Paul Strange, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Paul = Ptee = Pete I daresay. And of course I am right in this situation. I've got Inglish A-Level innit.

― Pete, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I think dignity equals sex appeal. So since I'm off my face most of the time I have zero of either. It is a good little system I have going.

― Ronan, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I'm not sexy. But I do know the international gesture for "sexual".

― Tom, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

In sign language, you point to your cheek (right cheek) to denote "sex". I'm guessing that's the handjive Tom references. (Or is there a more personal handjive he's thinking of?)

― David Raposa, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

What about feeling more confident or *better* at it, the less one actually likes the other person. I'm thinking that *not really caring* thing, gives one the arrogance / distance to *perform* better? Which is why one-offs are so great.

Haven't for a long while, though, so maybe the lack has twisted the idea.

― chris, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i wank a lot, but i think sex = lub(e) is the best equation i've read for a long time.

― Geoff, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

It is not exactly what this thread was about, but apart from monikering some chain of furniture outlets, what 'and so to bed'? actually means?

On topic, how oneself can actually assess their actual impact (sexiness,sex appeal, hottiness, the lot) on others? Any kinda barometer? Stochastics methods?

― Laetitia, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

One day, when I'm famous, they will make action figures of me, then I can play with myself.

― jel, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Can you not at the moment? Apologies if you have some kind of serious disability.

― Nick, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

exposing the weakness in my crap joke was not nice Nick.

― jel, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yeah Nick, keep yr hands to yourself.

― AP, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I totally disagree with Chris in that the more I like someone, the more likely I am to perform well.

― Sean, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

On the contrary, jel, I liked your joke a lot and intend to steal it.

― Nick, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Cool Nick!

― jel, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I wonder if one ca actually have "postsex"

― Mike Hanle y, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Hey! Look everybody! I'm typing with one hand!! -I do not post atILM. -H

― Smarmaduke, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I haven't had sex in a long time now but all of a sudden I really want to. And I really want to listen to Area Codes. I just had cake and I think that has something to do with it.

― Ally, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Was it chocolate cake Ally? Chocolate is a known aphrodiasiac. So is alcohol. Rum cake maybe?

― Samantha, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

yes...my plan is working. the carnal nature of il* is being coaxed to the fore. soon there will be rutting aplenty and we will all be smearing our bodies with jungle berry juice and hunting the wild mighty boar!

or...not.

― jess, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

it WAS chocolate cake! German Chocolate Layer Cake.

― Ally, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

What is the difference between sexual and sexy? I think sexual would be more the seductive evil enchantress and sexy would be whatever cute princess you come across.

I too am uptight. Or ridiculous.

― Maria, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Or too young. :)

― Sean, Wednesday, 3 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i am sexy and sexual. i don't have to try to be, i just is, who cares whether anyone else thinks i am, i think i am and thats all that matters.

― di, Thursday, 4 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

four years pass...

i consider myself sexual. if u are attracted to somene, and it feels good no matter the gender then go for it. but their is a difference in being in a relationship.

― LivingChange, Friday, 28 April 2006 00:09 (eighteen years ago) link

informded!

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 28 April 2006 00:15 (eighteen years ago) link

wait, what's the difference?

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 28 April 2006 00:16 (eighteen years ago) link

what a curious thread

― electric sound of jim (and why not) (electricsound), Friday, 28 April 2006 00:32 (eighteen years ago) link

why did i click?

― /me aaaaaaaaaa (eman), Friday, 28 April 2006 02:06 (eighteen years ago) link

Oh, jesspaws

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 28 April 2006 02:35 (eighteen years ago) link

i want new jess to bitterly mock old jess

― oops (Oops), Friday, 28 April 2006 03:29 (eighteen years ago) link

I saw a video of myself at 14 on the weekend and was quite taken at how sexy I was, however I am now at 26 twice the size and thoroughly unsexy, so I dunno, does that make me a self-loving paedophile or something?

― This cunted circus never ends... (papa november), Friday, 28 April 2006 04:40 (eighteen years ago) link

Yikes. How fucked up would it be to j/o to images of yourself as a youngster?

― Whispy Fandango Triphop (unclejessjess), Friday, 28 April 2006 04:43 (eighteen years ago) link

uhh...there was no jerking off involved. Just the realization that I was pretty decent looking.

― This cunted circus never ends... (papa november), Friday, 28 April 2006 04:45 (eighteen years ago) link

I know what you mean though. I'm acceptable now, but I am really surprised at how I felt (and was made to feel) freakishly hideous growing up. I was fucking cute!

I mean seriously, was I adorable?

http://static.flickr.com/52/136277970_1b35557155.jpg

― Whispy Fandango Triphop (unclejessjess), Friday, 28 April 2006 05:45 (eighteen years ago) link

Contrast to now!

http://static.flickr.com/34/125036065_6664379487.jpg

The ravages of alcohol are irreversible.

― Whispy Fandango Triphop (unclejessjess), Friday, 28 April 2006 05:46 (eighteen years ago) link

when there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth

― gear (gear), Friday, 28 April 2006 06:21 (eighteen years ago) link

one year passes...

http://i27.tinypic.com/10cr8z9.jpg

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Saturday, 9 February 2008 00:48 (sixteen years ago) link

ugh. Those things pinch and hurt and leave marks. Contemplate saving up for some proper leather restraints, young lady.

― kenan, Saturday, 9 February 2008 00:51 (sixteen years ago) link

I wonder: How big is the arsenal of gear she *did* remember to hide before the newspaper photographer arrived?

― kenan, Saturday, 9 February 2008 00:53 (sixteen years ago) link

refuse to answer on the grounds that I might incriminate myself. And yet I've not had worries. ;-)

-- Ned Raggett, Monday, October 1, 2001 5:00 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Link

― strgn, Saturday, 9 February 2008 01:13 (sixteen years ago) link

http://www.abc.net.au/mediawatch/transcripts/s1437610.htm

― moley, Saturday, 9 February 2008 01:20 (sixteen years ago) link

http://www.dbrock.net/artistes/albums/covers_002239.jpg

xpost

― kenan, Saturday, 9 February 2008 01:24 (sixteen years ago) link

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