Crushes: not seen Vs not spoken

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That is:
Crushing on someone you've never SEEN Vs Crushing on someone you've never SPOKEN to

Prompted by the various crush threads.

'someone you've never SEEN' might be someone you know on the web or by phone or chat programs.

'someone you've never spoken to' might be a random on the bus stop, or a hunk in a mag or just anyone you've never actually communicated with or seen communicating with others.

So which do you do more? Which is better?

― mei (mei), Friday, 31 October 2003 16:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I've done the 'not seen' one loads. Like, I feel I know them through emails or whatever. People are like, how can you be attracted to someone you've not even met?

― mei (mei), Friday, 31 October 2003 16:36 (twenty-two years ago)

people who you've never talked to are the stupidest crushes.

people who you've spoken to briefly - i.e. "that will be $1.75 please." - are even stupider.

― strongo hulkington's ghost (dubplatestyle), Friday, 31 October 2003 16:40 (twenty-two years ago)

"ah, she pours coffee so well. we should start looking at preschools."

― strongo hulkington's ghost (dubplatestyle), Friday, 31 October 2003 16:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't really choose... I tend to crush more easily than most, but I think I'm shallow, and I'd pick the purely visual crushes.

Though what about a case like NStheHH where the crush is primarily visual, but heightened through the verbal/mental things?

I'd rather have a thread, like Taking Sides: Crushes on people you know vs. Crushes on people you'll never interact with.

― kate (kate), Friday, 31 October 2003 16:43 (twenty-two years ago)

two years pass...

The back of a girl's neck.

― mei (mei), Friday, 23 June 2006 17:19 (twenty years ago)

totally possible

― SQUARECOATS (plsmith), Friday, 23 June 2006 17:26 (twenty years ago)

girl at Han's Deli.

― Werner Herzog Netflix Quine (ex machina), Friday, 23 June 2006 17:36 (twenty years ago)

i can't get a crush on someone w/o talking to them.
however, i seem to be able to get a crush quite easily with someone i've never seen.
I AM CLEARLY SO UNSHALLOW

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Friday, 23 June 2006 17:50 (twenty years ago)

Katie at Bank of the Bluegrass, we will meet face to face one day, my dear, and you will totally not be a sea hag.

― you can email me if you wish to challenge the truth (nickalicious), Friday, 23 June 2006 18:05 (twenty years ago)

I met one of my phone crushes at work the other week - you know, he worked in a different office, but i had to call him all the time for work stuff - it turned out he was much older than me (20+ years) and married. he SOUNDED cute! :(

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Friday, 23 June 2006 18:48 (twenty years ago)

People can express their personalities in ways that don't involve talking, though! I mean, there's a lot missing -- I'm not sure I actually mean this -- but I can understand how you can watch somebody do routine things (wear the clothes they wear and walk around and just generally do stuff they way they do stuff), and you can feel like you have a sense of who they are.

Besides, not having spoken to someone doesn't mean you don't know what they're like: whatever happened to eavesdropping in this country?

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 23 June 2006 20:48 (twenty years ago)

ts: what they're like vs. what they're like when they're interacting with you

― aimee semple mcmansion (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 23 June 2006 20:50 (twenty years ago)

Re: that first thing, I think I mean that the bulk of never-spoken crushes actually aren't just about looks -- more about fixating on little actions ("she didn't know anyone was looking and she was nibbling on her hair like so") and vague senses of personality ("she always walks around looking like someone just told her a really great secret") and stuff like that.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 23 June 2006 20:51 (twenty years ago)

"she always walks around looking like someone just told her a really great secret"

Please introduce me to this girl.

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Friday, 23 June 2006 21:45 (twenty years ago)

whatever happened to eavesdropping in this country?

Uh, it's very much alive and well, I would think.

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 23 June 2006 21:52 (twenty years ago)

girl at Han's Deli.
-- Werner Herzog Netflix Quine (jo...), June 23rd, 2006 2:36 PM. (ex machina) (later)

roffles! : D

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 23 June 2006 21:56 (twenty years ago)

Sorry, Rickey, I think the one I was thinking of has left the country for a while. She always walked around looking "innocently" up at the ceiling and smiling in this private, self-satisfied way, like someone had just told her some great bit of gossip. (I did not have a crush on her, but it seemed like the kind of thing one could easily have a crush on.)

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 23 June 2006 22:04 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, sounds like it.

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Friday, 23 June 2006 22:16 (twenty years ago)

I do that pretty frequently, but it's because I'm thinking about whaling or the 17th century. (And that is why it ought to STAY secret.)

I tend to get not-seen crushes more because I assume that beautiful people I haven't talked to are jerks who would hate me. I don't usually get visual crushes on non-beautiful people unless I've heard them sing or talk about theology or something sexy like that.

― Maria (Maria), Friday, 23 June 2006 22:23 (twenty years ago)

I often get crushes on people I've not spoken to, I think they look interesting and imagine what their lives are like.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 23 June 2006 22:27 (twenty years ago)

Crushing on someone you've never seen = how upper-class people hooked up for centuries, surely?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 23 June 2006 22:28 (twenty years ago)

no they saw their cousins once a year.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 23 June 2006 22:30 (twenty years ago)

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