should i grow a beard?

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Just keep trying guys.

Jeff, Thursday, 3 July 2014 13:57 (nine years ago) link

i tried growing a beard a while ago and got the same factory floor problem. i can grow a pretty legit mustache, though, but it makes me look like I'm trying out a Sgt. Peppers costume for Halloween. i've just resigned myself to no facial hair at all.

Spectrum, Thursday, 3 July 2014 14:14 (nine years ago) link

Don't think I can shave again in case this happens:

http://www.webburgr.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/shave-beard-001.jpg

(with thanks to pfunkboy)

3kDk (dog latin), Thursday, 3 July 2014 14:16 (nine years ago) link

You know, there may be a point in your life where looking younger, one might even say "boyish," will be feature not bug.

Orson Wellies (in orbit), Thursday, 3 July 2014 14:21 (nine years ago) link

haha, it's the next day after shaving though - it takes your face a while to recover and until then you get this weird puffy top lip and your face looks like a marshmallow.

3kDk (dog latin), Thursday, 3 July 2014 14:24 (nine years ago) link

So glad my current bf can't grow a not-laughable beard and I will never have to have this conversation with him.

Orson Wellies (in orbit), Thursday, 3 July 2014 14:26 (nine years ago) link

this arbitrary thing about my body gives me points in the man club scam, yaaaay

mattresslessness, Thursday, 3 July 2014 14:37 (nine years ago) link

i am never growing a beard

guwop (crüt), Thursday, 3 July 2014 14:46 (nine years ago) link

you should grow a beard

Sufjan Grafton, Thursday, 3 July 2014 14:51 (nine years ago) link

Grow a beard.

Jeff, Thursday, 3 July 2014 14:59 (nine years ago) link

Stop hiding behind that beard, it alternately mutes and distorts your facial expressions

brimstead, Thursday, 3 July 2014 15:22 (nine years ago) link

existential beard problems.

why does the beard exist? what is the purpose of the beard? can one truly be fulfilled by achieving the perfect beard?

, Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:06 (nine years ago) link

that cartoon is v accurate to my experience, was surprising to shave for the first time in eight years and be faced with the me of eight years ago.

Merdeyeux, Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:13 (nine years ago) link

shaved mine this morning (not because of this thread)

Brad C., Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:15 (nine years ago) link

People with beards should be put to death

, Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:17 (nine years ago) link

yeah that cartoon way otm. just cut mine off for the first time in a couple years cuz i'm in a play and it took me from like 35 to 18. (i am neither of these ages.)

difficult listening hour, Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:17 (nine years ago) link

I've grown mine into a corner, it's become too thick that I don't know how to extend length without it getting out of control. I guess the trick is to trim the sides and let it grow off thin jawline?

Fiddler on a hot tin roof (ed.b), Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:22 (nine years ago) link

yeah i never mastered the late stage.

difficult listening hour, Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:24 (nine years ago) link

(it is easier to imagine the end of the world than to imagine a change to my beard)

difficult listening hour, Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:24 (nine years ago) link

yea having a well-kept, maintained, long beard is a challenge. i find it easier to just keep a very short beard that is trimmed to stubble once a month or so. mine is super-thick, dark and curly and it gets unruly pretty fast.

thank god i stopped shaving a few years ago, my life improved dramatically. shaving was fucking miserable, especially w/ the beard my genes gave me. my skin is so much healthier now.

marcos, Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:29 (nine years ago) link

the lengths i went to try to get a smooth, comfortable, and irritation-free shave were painstaking, and i would never even call even the best shaves i had "comfortable"

marcos, Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:32 (nine years ago) link

Shaving is the worst. It's a never ending battle.

Jeff, Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:33 (nine years ago) link

plus the money i spent on expensive, garbage razors from gillette. i bought a fancy german double-edge razor that you use with actual razor blades but i never managed to master it enough to get a good shave.

i don't even shape my beard any more, just trim it down with a 1/8 inch guard on hair clippers once a month. looks better and i am much happier.

marcos, Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:36 (nine years ago) link

I lose control and shave mine off once a year, and each year I say "I'll not doing that again!" because of how weird I think my face looks without it. I'd love to do a big Rick Rubin/Santa Claus thing when I'm an old man, but I'll have to overcome the hurdle of compulsively keeping it trimmed up.

Johnny Fever, Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:36 (nine years ago) link

I'll not *be

Johnny Fever, Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:36 (nine years ago) link

seems like shaping a neckline or a cheek line and keeping that maintained is as much work as shaving

marcos, Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:37 (nine years ago) link

haha by "compulsively keeping it trimmed up" I don't mean a whole lot daily maintenance. More like you with the clippers, except maybe once every two weeks instead of once a month.

Johnny Fever, Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:39 (nine years ago) link

clippers are the only thing i touch when bearded too. even when i want to shape a lil i just remove the guard and scrape the hair off with the clipper, which i'm not even positive you're supposed to do. actual shaving is such a fuckin production, or at least it would be if i were any good at choosing long-term happiness and painlessness over short-term convenience. when i was a kid my dad told me that shaving cream was a manufactured need (disguising as anticapitalism what in retrospect was probably just "men's grooming products are evil" or possibly "comfort is evil") and that all i had to do was take a hot shower first, and i was in my 20s before i was finally sure that while this may not have been bullshit for his face it was for mine.

difficult listening hour, Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:40 (nine years ago) link

not that i remember to buy shaving cream, now.

difficult listening hour, Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:41 (nine years ago) link

my trimming method is to every month or so hack away with scissors until it looks okay / doesn't get any shorter. variable results.

the fuckin production that is actual shaving is definitely one of my biggest reasons for being bearded, i have to treat the razor like sandpaper on the particularly gnarled piece of wood that is my face to be actually clean-shaven. or maybe i just don't know how to shave.

Merdeyeux, Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:55 (nine years ago) link

I came down with beard dandruff last week for my first time ever in beard ownership. That was an unpleasant surprise. Selsun Blue took care of it just fine, but it came to prominence on a day when I was wearing a black shirt.

how's life, Thursday, 3 July 2014 18:01 (nine years ago) link

My beard is mostly a way to avoid the perpetual chore of shaving, which I despise. That, and it compensates somewhat for the barrenness on the top of my head.

Aimless, Thursday, 3 July 2014 18:05 (nine years ago) link

It comes and goes depending on the atmosphere/your skin/whether or not the day ends in a "y". One of the only perks of shaving off the whole beard is that you're finally able to scrub your face directly without whisker interference and it feels WONDERFUL.

Johnny Fever, Thursday, 3 July 2014 18:05 (nine years ago) link

a strong breeze is much improved too, unless this feeling is just novelty.

difficult listening hour, Thursday, 3 July 2014 19:00 (nine years ago) link

Does it take anyone else like half an hour to 45 mins to shave? It's always been like this. Granted, a lot of that is bathroom cleanup time. Shit goes everywhere.

I will be bearded most of my life.

Dreamland, Thursday, 3 July 2014 23:05 (nine years ago) link

oh yea, it was always a 45-minute affair. when i did shave i would still only do it twice a week, (say monday & thursday to cover the work week) because 1) i couldn't reasonably commit 45 minutes every morning and 2)my face would be ripped apart and 3) it would never give the facial hair a chance to grow out of my skin. curlier beards are much more prone to ingrown hairs and the more i shaved the more i would get them. i'm so happy not to have to deal with that. i still have my razor in my closet for some reason but i can reasonably say i will never use it again.

marcos, Thursday, 3 July 2014 23:56 (nine years ago) link

It's the summertime, it's too damn hot out even wo a beard.

©Oz Quiz© (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 3 July 2014 23:59 (nine years ago) link

Seen my dad once w/o a beard and it was WEIRD

brimstead, Friday, 4 July 2014 01:51 (nine years ago) link

brimstead, my dad shaved off his beard when i was about 8 years old. i freaked out and refused to talk to him for about two days.

3kDk (dog latin), Friday, 4 July 2014 09:37 (nine years ago) link

three years pass...

Somehow my facial hair started coming in much better than it used to, which I thought wasn't supposed to happen. Maybe it's an age thing. Anyway I've wanted to grow one all my life, so it's finally time. I feel a little late to the beard party at this point since it seems like every fucking guy under 40 has had a beard at some point in the last decade, but my plan is just to grow a nice, full but short beard that sticks with the profile of my face rather than adding much mass to it. Kind of psyched for it.

IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Sunday, 14 January 2018 04:28 (six years ago) link

Yeah. It's a nice look. And it minimizes shaving, too!

A is for (Aimless), Sunday, 14 January 2018 04:49 (six years ago) link

So recommend be some kind of beard oil/conditioner/softener that isn't ridiculously expensive and overblown

IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Friday, 19 January 2018 06:06 (six years ago) link

But it opens the possibility of having to explain that you're not a terrorist

remember the lmao (darraghmac), Friday, 19 January 2018 07:44 (six years ago) link

You don't need beard oil really, not unless you're planning to grow a full-on 2014 viking beard.
I was playing a client one of our video productions the other day and the actor/model in the video had one of those gigantic square beards and brown brogues and it looked SO of its time, even though that time was only 4 years ago

Badgers (dog latin), Friday, 19 January 2018 08:52 (six years ago) link

Always knew I could grow a beard, grew a beard for the first time a little over a year ago. Kept it. It's great. Better than shaving.

Josh in Chicago, Friday, 19 January 2018 12:26 (six years ago) link

It's always fun to see what color it grows in. Currently I am rocking, in the words of a friend, the Michael Gross.

Josh in Chicago, Friday, 19 January 2018 12:27 (six years ago) link

I was just thinking about how dated big beards already look right now. Whereas I think a nice trim beard is a solid look.

Another q: at what point should I start using a trimmer to neaten it up a bit. I’m def hitting a scraggly well more than stubble but not quite full beard phase now and I feel like it looks slightly unprofessional for the office. Do I need to wait it out?

IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Friday, 19 January 2018 13:06 (six years ago) link

Shape around the edges, but wait out the length.

Jeff, Friday, 19 January 2018 13:10 (six years ago) link

'It's not a beard until you shave it off" is the rule i heard. so I'd wait until it's looking just a bit too long and then trim it

Badgers (dog latin), Friday, 19 January 2018 13:10 (six years ago) link

yes, but what jeff said

Badgers (dog latin), Friday, 19 January 2018 13:10 (six years ago) link


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