Happy holidays. Free cookbook by Tep.

Kte'pickles
Red gravy (it's tomato sauce)
Black bean soup
White bean soup (with minor modifications)
Jambalaya (with minor modifications)
Honey buttermilk bread
Caramelized pineapple
Pineapple salsa
Roasted olives with peaches
Ultimate garlic dip
Creme caramel
Gooey buttermilk cake
Apple crisp
Buttermilk pie

...

... well, Grandmother made a hell of a nice lemon pie.

(She also taught me, "When you can't say anything nice, zip it or I'll sit on you until you shut up.")

Small portions! And half of the chicken stuff is ... reasonable.

I've actually put together a Word document of some of my favourite chocolate recipes, so if any fellow chocoholics would like a copy of that, I'll gladly email it. Just let me know:)

CJ, please email me chocolate recipes. :-)

I just printed them both out, hole-punched them, put them in a notebook, and designed a simple cover. And, of course, I got paid to do it as I'm at work! :-)

This is the shit! Thank you sir!

CJ, I'd love a copy of the chocolate recipes -- bill at discomoose.com

Now that I can search and revive:

How I Done What I Did

Rich Text format

Acrobat format

(Is Acrobat the proper name of the format, actually?)

Spiral-bound $13 no money goes to me

And the bonus vegetarian recipe:

Deconstruction of Carrot Cake

Boil two large peeled carrots until as soft as potatoes-for-mashing. Puree -- in blender, food processor, &c., or by hand with manual masher -- boiled carrots, 1 egg yolk, two slices of pickled ginger, dash of cinnamon, dash of cloves, tablespoon of flour.

Pour and shape, as for thick pancake batter, into small cakes in a hot non-stick pan with a scooch of oil; cook a couple minutes, flip, cook a couple more.

Serve warm with, for instance: warmed pepper jelly (I make a bacon-pepper jelly vinaigrette with warmed pepper jelly, crumbled bacon, and a bit of the hot bacon fat -- but that's not very vegetarian); coconut syrup tamed with coconut vinegar; Steen's cane syrup with a bit of cane vinegar; whatever.

(My impulse is to toss at least a little vinegar, a little sharpness, into whatever sauce is going to go over it, because I served this as the froo-froo amuse-bouche at Reveillon. You can just toss some ice cream and fudge sauce on there if you like, it's all good.)

Bonus Not Very Vegetarian At All Recipe, the first new thing I cooked after the cookbook:

Basic Chicken Adobo

Marinate chicken pieces in two parts soy sauce, one part white wine vinegar, one part rum, with three smashed cloves of garlic and a bunch of cracked black pepper or chile peppers; marinate for a few hours or skip that bit altogether. Sear chicken skin-side down, in a little oil if necessary, until skin starts to crisp. Take chicken out, toss excess oil, saute onions in pan, put chicken back, pour marinade in, bake for 45 minutes, until chicken is cooked through and very tender and marinade has reduced down to a thicker sauce. Serve with a starch.

(Since doing the basic one, I've done others, and like to add some kale too -- but one thing at a time. You can, and should, play around with the proportions of soy sauce and vinegar; the rum is not normally a "basic" ingredient, but I happen to have a bottle of rum I want to use up, because I don't really drink rum except in mojitos, and I only have enough mint left for one or two of them.)

My gift to you all this year is a small collection of my favourite Christmas recipes - anyone who would like a copy, please drop me a line to cj2004 at gmail dot com.