Top 100 Things You Don't Want For Christmas This Year (That You Might Actually Be Given)

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1. Eats Shoots And Leaves.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Monday, 15 December 2003 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

2. Shite's Unoriginal Miscellany

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Monday, 15 December 2003 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

3. Barry Trotter And The Shameless Parody

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Monday, 15 December 2003 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

4. A satsuma

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 15 December 2003 14:56 (twenty-two years ago)

5. Dude, Where's My Country?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 15 December 2003 15:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Matt you can give that to me if you do get it

6. The Office series 2 on DVD

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 15 December 2003 15:02 (twenty-two years ago)

We can return to this thread after wobs and reveal which ones we actually got.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Monday, 15 December 2003 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

7. socks (well, it's true!)

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 15 December 2003 15:20 (twenty-two years ago)

8. 31 Songs (sorry Barry!)

I am never disappointed by socks.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Monday, 15 December 2003 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Not even comedy ones?

― Ricardo (RickyT), Monday, 15 December 2003 15:24 (twenty-two years ago)

9. Comedy socks.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Monday, 15 December 2003 15:24 (twenty-two years ago)

It's strange, when I was a kid, I used to be miserable if I got clothes or books for Xmas, and think of them as non-presents. Now I hope that I get clothes and books! Except...

10. Strange way too semi-formal to wear to work garb from my mother

― HRH Queen Kate (kate), Monday, 15 December 2003 15:25 (twenty-two years ago)

11. T-shirts from recently-emigrated friends/relatives, with the name of their new home emblazoned across the front, alongside a popular animal from the region.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 15 December 2003 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

12. An ugly knickknacklike candle holder with a set of horrible scented candles

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Monday, 15 December 2003 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

13. Some sort of horribly tacky sweater and/or sweatshirt with a christmas theme and/or cat theme.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 15 December 2003 15:29 (twenty-two years ago)

who, was going to say candles. We get candles and candle holders all the fucking time. It is the lazy person's gift. When we die in a fire it will be on your heads, lazy gift givers!

― anthony kyle monday (akmonday), Monday, 15 December 2003 15:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I actually use all those stupid candle gifts. Send them to me! And send me your socks! My mom and youngest sister are begging for socks for Christmas. It's pathetic. My mom even asked my other sister for her old worn out socks. "My feet are cold," she said.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 15 December 2003 15:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I bought that Miscellany! been thumbing through it and going, "Wait a minute--I already read all this shit in The Peoples Almamacs, only those books were HUGE."

― M Matos (M Matos), Monday, 15 December 2003 15:34 (twenty-two years ago)

14. Scott Walker - Five Easy Pieces. Honestly, I've got most of it already! Please, I wasn't dropping a hint! As if I'd expect something so expensive. I hear there are typoes on the back cover. ::shudder::

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Monday, 15 December 2003 15:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Michael, you can always send it my way...

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Monday, 15 December 2003 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Sarah - don't they have sock shops where your family live? ;-)

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:07 (twenty-two years ago)

15. A diary that's too small to be of any practical use.

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:10 (twenty-two years ago)

16. A manicure set (two last year).

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:10 (twenty-two years ago)

17. Any books by Alvin Hall.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:12 (twenty-two years ago)

18. Oatmeal-colored turtleneck sweater

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe we could start a present exchange, because I'm always looking for a diary small enough to carry around with me! (Though I did find a pretty sparkly purple one in Fareham while we were setting up HSA's installation, so I'm good for next year.)

― HRH Queen Kate (kate), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:14 (twenty-two years ago)

19. Barnes & Nobles' 1000 Classic Lawyer Jokes

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:15 (twenty-two years ago)

20 The Little Book Of ...

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:17 (twenty-two years ago)

21. a sense of abject loneliness and 'missing out'

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:19 (twenty-two years ago)

22. A lecture about quitting smoking

― TOMBOT, Monday, 15 December 2003 16:20 (twenty-two years ago)

23. Chicken soup for the...

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:20 (twenty-two years ago)

24. pink slip

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:21 (twenty-two years ago)

(the underwear kind)

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:21 (twenty-two years ago)

stevem, you're easily cute enough to get at least a casual shag. Stop moaning and get out there!

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:22 (twenty-two years ago)

25. Casual shag

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:25 (twenty-two years ago)

felicity, have you met Stevem?

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:26 (twenty-two years ago)

26. A Pack of cards of any description.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Even Smash Hits Pop Stars Top Trumps 2003 Edition?!

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:27 (twenty-two years ago)

i believe felicity was actually referring to her half-assed penchant for pipe-smoking

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:27 (twenty-two years ago)

i still want ILX Playing Cards

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:28 (twenty-two years ago)

xpost, exactly!

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Holiday nookie should not be casual, but deep and meaningful and the start of something "real."

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

XXL-size flannel shirt from my grandfather. Again.
Khaki pants in 36/36 size because nobody knows were to find pants that long with a 32 waist.
A CD by a very popular recording artist that I don't like at all.

Like clockwork.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

27. A set of miniscule screwdrivers from a Christmas cracker (along with the satsuma, I get this every year without fail).

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

28. Herpes.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:31 (twenty-two years ago)

XXL-size flannel shirt from my grandfather. Again.

On Friday night, my brother and I went to a movie together, and once sat down in theatre, we took off our coats to reveal we were wearing THE EXACT SAME PLAID FLANNEL SHIRT!!!
I looks at him and I says, "Grandpa?"
He says to me, he says, "Don't you know it!"

Brother #3 doesn't have the shirt though. But it was actually sort of a nice moment to remember Gramps, who passed away last June.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

But Matt, they come in so handy when fixing sewing machines!

(I have used mini-screwdriver set from a cracker for this purpose exactly once.)

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:35 (twenty-two years ago)

29. A broken sewing machine.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:36 (twenty-two years ago)

The mini screwdrivers are perfect for fixing indie glasses! Pass them along to all your indie friends! (Like me!)

― HRH Queen Kate (kate), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:36 (twenty-two years ago)

30. my mom suggesting that i might want to wear a bit more makeup/comb my hair/change my earrings before i'm seen in public with the family.

if not that, clothes from aunts and uncles that haven't seen me since i was 13, and buy me tiny things that are usually glittery. in a laura ashley way.

― colette (a2lette), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:38 (twenty-two years ago)

oh god anna, my screen wasn't big enough and so i only saw matt's "herpes" suggestion and was trying to imagine you fixing sewing machines with STDs...

― colette (a2lette), Monday, 15 December 2003 16:39 (twenty-two years ago)

31. abba monopoly

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 16 December 2003 11:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Any clothes picked by my mother.

― caitlin (caitlin), Tuesday, 16 December 2003 11:57 (twenty-two years ago)

a capuccino set. or two.

1. i don't drink capuccino
2. i'm not even sure that i can spell it.

if people are just going to buy me things when they're walking round sainsbury's, i'd rather they got me a nice big block of jarlsberg and a baguette.

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Tuesday, 16 December 2003 12:02 (twenty-two years ago)

anything with a cartoon character on it.

unless its miffy. or bagpuss. who wasn't actually a cartoon character anyway.

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Tuesday, 16 December 2003 12:04 (twenty-two years ago)

yes he was a real cat

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 16 December 2003 12:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Anything given to me by my mother which cannot be returned to the relevant retailer or manufacturer, due to 10% 'success rate'.

*Fountain pen in green marble/gold colour scheme which isn't lefty-friendly
*Clothes which are too semi-formal to wear to work because my mum saw them in sale shop and 'couldn't leave them there' so she sends them HERE, argh. I think last year Kate and I may have compared our hauls and screamed into our sake cups.
*Horrible briefcase that has too many style notes that suggest taxi license holders, but in black
*felicity, I see your oatmeal-coloured turtleneck sweater and I'll raise you: mine is often angora.

Basically this year Xmas will not be complete until I have a pair of perilous black stiletto boots.

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 16 December 2003 12:20 (twenty-two years ago)

REVIVE!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 26 December 2003 02:20 (twenty-two years ago)

At *exactly* the time your loved ones are likely to see this thread, get offended and fail to speak to you until next Christmas, which will of course be ruined before its even begun.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 26 December 2003 02:21 (twenty-two years ago)

one month passes...

How did people score? Count one for socks.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

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