Every job you've ever done

ALBANY, NY
-Xerox operator at printing press
-McDonalds bod
-Wendy's bod
-Customer Service Person/Cashier at Woolworths
-Cashier at Caldor
-Data Entry/Fingerprint scanning at NYS DCJS
-Kentucky Fiend Chicken bod
-loads of other data entry jobs I can't even recall
NEW YORK CITY
-Cashier at Tower Records
-entered test results at blood lab
-several other temp data entry jobs
-accounts receivable clerk at video manufacturer
-more temp work
-accounts payable at diamond importers
-data entry to database programming at Mortgage Backed Securities due dillegence consultant
LONDON
-database admin then webmaster/web designer at ad agency
-freelance web designer
-freelance database programmer
-data entry/accounts receivable clerk
-database programmer

Wow, it's astonishing my resume is only 2 pages long, but I leave out most of the short term things.

Currently, I could make more money stacking shelves at asda wal-mart (true) do not repair bicycles for a living.

Paperboy
Supermarket Shelf-stacker
Admin assistant
Sales assisant
Barman
DTP/Admin clerk
Designer/promotions assistant
Junior designer
Designer
Senior Library Assistant
Freelance designer

PA to: TV producer x2, film producer x 2, film/theatre agent x 2;

Researcher for famous novelist recently mentioned in ILX thread;

Audience co-ordinator for crappy gameshow;

Development manager for major children's TV company;

Freelance scriptreader, several major production & distibution cos & agencies;

Chatroom moderator & manager;

Scriptwriter, script editor;

Hairdresser's junior;

Telemarketeer;

Receptionist, dogsbody, accounts assistant.

(not in that order)

(These are the jobs I've been paid to do, I've done a fair amount of things for free as well.)

ann arbor:
different department store. worked as a 'floater'.
grading standardized tests
host in restaurants
photographing frat parties
substitute teacher
(all while working at department store)

chicago:
law firm
'talent scout'
volunteer board member

london:
charity worker

probably some i can't remember. a much shorter list than kate and nordic!

Haha I misread that as freelance stripteaser!

tv on-air personality
carpet installer's assistant
stage crew for big dumb country music festival
camp counsellor
credit card application solicitator
time-share vacation sales assistant
snow mobile trail maintenance stooge
library assistant
construction/renovation stooge
archives assistant
boucheron (french-canadian lumberjack--swear to god!)
walking trail builder
watershed conservation stooge
elementary school teacher's assistant
tramp (lived by wits and thumb for three months)
graveyard shift grocery store stocker
dishwasher
mover
drywall sander
dishwasher
freelance writer
line cook (a promotion!)
sous-chef (well, kitchen staff of two and I was not #1)
retail sales (ladies' costume jewelry)
dishwasher (a demotion!)
university student (beginning to realize work sucks)
line cook (a promotion, but hey! pay CUT!)
student press editor
mall santa
university drop-out (beginning to realize school don't pay)
busboy at bar
edit'l ass't

(probably a few more, incl. volunteer stuff and stuff I forgot about by the grace of God)

;-)

kitchen staff @ christian nursing home
coffee maker & ice cream scooper @ small local ice cream place
chemistry/SAT tutor
researcher/scientist (inorganic chemistry)
researcher/scientist (toxicology)
record seller @ small indie record store
office temp
database developer/programmer

paper round
deputy garden centre manager at Texas homecare (with a side order of putting furniture together)
dishwasher at Debenhams
admin assistant for employment service
marketing analyst for a Marketing firm based at Staples corner
customer service bod
inventory controller
Logistics planner

Also, what's a sticky kid?

Kate, you are right to fear sgs - she's super strong.

Paperboy
Tomato Picker
Newsagent Shop Worker
Exam Script Librarian
Book And Comic Buyer
Research Executive
European Market Analyst

Waitress
Hospital Cleaner
Barmaid
PA to Nightclub Management/Music Promotion type people
Care Assistant
Secretary
Receptionist
Call Centre drone
Data Entry drone
Filing cheques for banks (two different banks! some employment agency took one look at me and went "bet she can put cheques in numerical order")
Customer Account Management / Sales Admin for soul-destroying multinational company
Campaigns organiser for charity (the only unpaid job of my list)
Archive assistant for local council
Recruitment assistant
Assistant in a council department where people needed to know stuff about EU directives
Making up UB40s (which may also be what Chris meant by "admin assistant for employment service" as I think that was my real job title)

There must be more than this, but I can't remember.

Systems analyst
Software assessor / general computer dogsbody
Programmer / analyst
Directory Enquiries Customer Services Representative
DQ Quality Assessor

Where DID my life go?

admin assistant at telephone company
librarian at private library
admin assistant at telephone company again
librarian at school
admin assistant at bookstore
DJ
Program Director

I've been lucky.

and freelance striptease artist sounds like newspeak for flasher

paperboy
dishwasher
tour guide
restaurant host
bass player
paralegal
bartender
legal intern
lawyer
film critic

House sitter/Dog Walker
Babysitter
Waitresses/Hostess at gross steak house
Mailroom clerk
Concessions stand worker at a movie theatre
Temporary receptionist at a pipe company
Filing clerk for a medical waste company
Student Librarian
Food preparer/Hostess at a tiny vegetarian restaurant
Sandwhich maker at a small cheese shop
Receptionist for a government tax department
Human Resources administrator for a car company
Real Estate Assistant

Though technically, the money would come from being a songwriter, cause that's what the royalties were for. So add songwriter to my list.

It's amazing how much of my musical "career" (either professionally or non-professionally) I've managed to consciously wipe from my mind.

Yes, we are. But Nick, doing a bunch of shitty jobs != "doing something" with your life!!

You talking to me, Mark? If so - whuh?

Babysitter
Mower of Lawns
Ticket-taker
Dishwasher
Gopher/apprentice for a graphic designer
Listings management assistant at a real estate office.
Receptionist (same real estate office)
Art Gallery sitter/minder/phone-answerer
Bartender
Freelance writer for several outlets
Writer/Editor for sporadic and ill-managed music mag
Part time Copy Editor for a quarterly journal
Copy Clerk
News Desk Assistant
Editorial Assitant
Administrative Assitant
News Desk Editor

Climbing wall attendant / salesperson

Tree nursery laborer

Cook/receptionist/handyman/waiter (all at one place in the mts of NH)

Pizza delivery boy

Valet parking guy

Temp laborer

Maintenance man at a place in the USVI

Barista

Cook/receptionist/handyman/waiter (back again at same place in NH)

Assistant manager (again, place in NH)

Valet parking guy (see above)

Backwaiter

Children's ski school instructor

Independent filmmaker

Neighbor's tree cutter-downer

Roofer

Painter

...back to children's ski school

Dead body hauler (!!!)

Ski tuner

Dead beat

Copy writer (cross your fingers)

(xpost: ok)

1. Grocery bagger (1 day)
2. Car wash... uh... guy (Friend of family's car wash)
3. Seaman, third class (For two years, off and on, on vessels that used huge air guns and oil-filled cables to gather info about the rock structure under the Gulf of Mexico, then sold the data to oil companies for incredible amounts of money. I swept, mopped, and chipped rust. Learned to tie some knots, but I've long since forgotten.)
4. Pizza delivery driver
5. Barista
6. Pastry chef (Not professional, obviously, but I did get to work under the fine tutilage of irredeemable, alcoholic asshole losers who were such complete failures as human beings that getting up at three AM, getting home at noon, and drinking until seven was only proof of their implacable status as masters of all other humans, apparently)
7. Short order cook (Made eggs. Never got good at it.)
8. Barista again (Made some sandwiches, too. Came home smelling like tuna and onions for about a year.)
9. Mortgage loan officer (Worse job ever.)
10. Office temp.
11. Glorified office temp.
12. Office temp glorified enough to be given a job title. I'll spare you the exact nature of it.
13. Assistant editor/web designer/magazine designer (My current job, which, as you may be able to tell from vast inspecific range it covers, is more like esteemed temp than anything else.)

Hi! I'm Kenan. I have had a wide range of terrible jobs that I was not especially good at. Hire me!

what an uninspiring list! thankfully I start my new, much better job next week.

Conference organiser
Retail clerk
Filing clerk
Production assistant
Floor Runner/Production assistant
Post office worker
Office assistant
Collector of items for charity
Filing clerk
Production assistant
Video editor
Video editor
TV cameraman
Property claims officer
Charity worker
Charity worker
University admissions clerk
Data Entrant
Film school camera guy
Jury consultant
Database administrator

and I just got a volunteer gig for an artists' project. Still looking for paid work and still not getting any.

lifeguard
swimming instructor
dishwasher
furniture store stockboy
record store clerk (twice)
editorial assistant (twice)
copy writer
associate editor
deputy editor
associate editor (different place)
freelance writer (hehheh)
columnist (reviewer)
contributing editor
senior editor
freelance writer
author
dad/cook/chief bottlewasher

While I was working in a particularly crap job, I wrote to Dan Fante, whose writing deals chiefly with the tedium of crappy jobs. This is what he had to say:

Dude, you should have written to Bukowski as well. Err, he's dead. Nevermind.

music club doorman/bouncer (least threatening/effective evah)

Dishwasher
Cleaner
Baker
Waiter
Barman
Tour Guide
Short-order chef
Chef de Partie
Office drone
Manufacturer of garden ornaments
Labourer
Roofer
Builder
Site Joiner
Bailiff
Employment Service counter jockey
Sommelier
Bar manager
University lecturer
Restaurant Manager

I don't really see much logical progression here

In order:

Convenience store clerk
Junior news reporter for community paper
Fast food monkey at theme park
Server/dishwasher at university dorm cafeteria
Production assistant for low-budget kiddie TV game show (I played a sampler keyboard that triggered sound effects when the kids buzzed their answers in)
Barista (not Starbucks - I quit after a few months)
Night clerk at university dorm (they became a hostel/hotel in the summer)
Intern/production assistant/street team slave at shitty indie record label & studio
Intern at unrelated, cred recording studio
Barista (Starbucks - I quit after a few months)
Control room sound for small-market TV station (newscasts only)
Sales & tech support for digital audio boutique (Pro Tools, Logic Audio, etc.)
Keyboardist, composer, producer (radio jingles, Flash sites, small-label dance & urban music)

I am pretty work-shy.

--

my favourite was florist. it was funny

I probably embellished the aquatics stuff a bit. Despite the varying job titles, all the aquatics jobs were spent working for the same employer, and the same could kinda be said for the university stuff. So sometimes I feel like I've only had two jobs in my life.

part-time warehouse dude for record label
part-time data entry clerk for digital music service
warehouse manager at record label

...i'm young yet.

Mystery Shopper
Stocktaker / General Hands
Graphic Designer / Multimedia / Office Admin
Freelance Graphic / Web Designer
Web Designer / Editor
Program Seller
Kitchenhand

babysitter
camp counselor
chain record store clerk
chain video store clerk
indie video store clerk
indie record store clerk
internet service provider intern
music trade magazine intern
record label internet/web intern
record label internet/web producer
agency web producer
newspaper web site manager
online games web site manager
agency sr. web producer
agency sr. tech web producer
freelance information architect
front-end web developer
user interface designer
technical director

Not in that order.

M&S cashier
M&S stock-worker
admin assistant

the last job is the best so far and i'll be sad to leave it when i move in less than a month. next up is substitute teaching.

To wit:

-day care worker (working two days a week-- 2 months-- first summer job)
-odd job doer for a small shipyard (I was "too slow" to do any good-- 1 month-- second summer job (I was too lazy/stupid to get a job earlier in the summer))
-"waiter" for faculty dining club (really a glorified busboy-- didn't take main dish orders, no tips) (semester and a half before I got fired for not showing up for my shifts) (was too depressed to get out of bed by lunch time)
-factory worker, manning a small wax injection press (3 months-- summer job that I ended several weeks early by quitting on the spot one day) (and I never showed up on time for my shifts-- dick move, since I was supposed to be relieving the guy whose reference got me the job in the first place)
-grunt labor for in-ground swimming pool repairer/installer (3 and a half summers in 5 years-- fucked up my chance to be anything more in the first year by waffling when lead guy offered to mentor me, then had last summer cut in half because of ongoing 44r0n 4z-style psychotic break)
-catering worker (two outings-- decided it was too depressing/demeaning to do)
-dishwasher (two weekends-- restaurant owner offered to train me to be a cook after I performed the amazing feats of showing up for my shifts on time and actually doing my job, stupidly declined offer because I didn't like his "vibe" even though he liked me)
-library aide at small public library (three months-- stupidly, got so annoyed with checking the stacks for $5.50 an hour that I went back to swimming pool job I hated for $10 an hour, even though library supervisor wanted to make me full-time for the summer-- pity that, now that I'm thinking about doing library school and find myself without references or creditable experience)
-sorter of packages at UPS hub (10:30 PM to 2:30 AM, four months-- quit on the spot one night, after supervisor decided I was his best guy and subsequently gave me worst place with the most responsibility on the sorting line)
-"jogger" bundling product off the back of a printing press (rotating 12 hour shifts, 7 PM to 7 AM three or four days a week, standing on concrete floors with no breaks-- fuck, was I desperate or just stupid?) (nine months-- quit to go back to school once I had some money saved)
-loader of packages at UPS hub (same shitty shift as before, six months-- amazingly, they hired me back-- much easier/less stressful job, because if I got backed up the mess fell into the sorters' laps and not mine-- again, supervisor decided I was his best guy and I rewarded him by giving notice unexpectedly and then not showing up for my last week after accidentally napping over and hence missing my Monday shift, deciding they'd never believe that as an alibi, and then just not bothering to show/call/do anything about it)
-library aide at university library (a month? two months? started flaking out on my shifts at some point and wound up quitting by e-mail long after the point where I assumed I'd been fired-- in retrospect, this possibly due to impending psychotic break, or maybe just me being a lazy asshole who didn't want to check the stacks for $5.50 an hour any more-- pity about the library thing again, but maybe it's not for me anyway)
-pizza delivery guy (two and a half years-- by far the longest continuous period of employment for me to date-- quit after third time my paycheck bounced, despite assurances that it was just due to yet another glitch in the payroll)
-pizza delivery guy at another outfit where I made fewer tips (three months-- too depressed to keep going in after coming back from vacation, after manager decided I was the most reliable driver and hence gave me the longest and shittiest shifts, so just stopped going in last week-- will I ever learn?)

Ha ha, how the fuck do I turn this into a resumé? Why didn't I take that summer job interning at my uncle's insurance company when I had the chance? Much stupid bullshit could have been avoided if I hadn't been lazy and stupidly "noble" at the time.