Guilt

I feel guilty all the time. Things I feel guilty about.

1. Smoking
2. Drugs
3. Laziness in College.
4. Failing driving test.
5. My parents being generous.
6. Diet/Health/Lack of Excercise.

Today I feel guilty about getting my WHINE on everyone.

Seriously, I don't automatically hate the fuckers, but my 3rd year housemates adopetd a damn stray against my wishes, and our relationship degenerated so badly that I couldn't cope with it, especially the time we stayed together in April and it trashed our kitchen over Easter. I legged it the day after cleaning up and getting the next-door neighbours to take over the same day and eventually, it was adopted by one of my housemate's dads.

Now I'm thinking I'm gonna get mistaken for the sort who ties them up in small bags and drowns them.

didn't mean it like that, Nick, there's just nothing worse than hearing about kitties in pain! I admire the fact that your accident caused you so much grief you started a thread. But it was that -- an accident.

I have a kitty confession, too, then: The day my cat Freckles died, I sat idly by in the E.R. while the nurse was trying to check its temp, even though my cat was clearly suffocating to death (it had most likely been struck by a car earlier that day, was the Dr's best guess, post mortem). I assumed the nurse/whatever knew what she was doing. Never make that assumption in the world of medicine...

I've also always had a habit of making reparations immediately whenever I feel I've done something to someone that requires such. I don't deal well with guilt and use the word 'sorry' probably a bit too often (not here, obviously, I'm talking about real life)

I try and never do anything that I would deem necessary to apologise for, hence I don't apologise often. I ran over a cat once but it was dark and it ran in front of the car. I treated some people like shit when I was younger. If I do something bad to someone then they've probably got it coming.

I did consider taking it home and attempting to nurse it back to health (as if) but decided not to on a/c of
(i) I figured that if it didn't have enough enrgy to roll into a ball or scurry away it was prolly dying anyway

and

(ii) I remembered that hedgehogs have more fleas per cm² than any other animal.

i just called into work. it's 3 am. i had one class tomorrow. i'm getting docked pay for not going. i'm waiting on some guy (who i thought was a lost cause) to show up with some blow. i closed out a bar tonight. (yeah, like it was the first time).

*sigh*

FWIW i've already gotten laid 3 times tonight and am about to notch a fourth. i guess that counts for something.

its not a great plant or anything, but still.

also i let the water dry out in my bamboo coz it got hidden behind a curtain and i rescued that too, sorta, but the bottom part is dead.

which is why i will never get a pet, because it takes a LONG TIME for water to dry out of bamboo, and if i can't get that right how the hell will i remember to feed an actual living animal?

when the program ended i thought it'd be cute if i jumped onto my dad's back and gave him a sleeper hold that i had just learnt. i heard a slight "crack" noise - i don't think i actually hurt him or anything but i just started feeling so crap because up to that point i never thought i could ever cause physical damage to my parents and the realisation of that was really chilling and scary. and the fact that he didn't tell me off or say anything or laugh was about it was what made me get even more scared and i realised how stupid it all was.

i felt bad for like days and days and i still think about it now sometimes.

My brother has a colleague, fabulously educated, and he made an error at work (oversight) that could cripple one of the guys for life.

My brother has taken to drinking and depression thinking about this guy's inability or unwillingness to cope with his mistakes and omissions. I mean, he tries really hard to be a good guy but it's the way he is unwilling to process his guilt like a mature adult. Sure it was a human error, that is as far as he goes. He wants to pay the victim's medical bills.

My brother wants him out of the workplace and the profession entirely, he finds it disturbing that this guy's hurt isn't worth a serious self-examination. Working extra hours or giving to charity is not going to make this person's presence in the workplace any less disturbing.

Management won't address the matter and my bro feels it is polluting the workplace.

jesus, what actually happened here? your description is vague but chilling. (obv no worries if you dont feel its right for public consumption, hope things sort themselves out)

this young man I used to know suffered blunt force trauma to the back of the head and is in a medically induced coma right now. Several friends of mine are close to him and concerned.

I had mixed initial reactions because the guy threatened my brother many, many times several years back (he had the audacity to date the guy's girlfriend after she had dumped him). It was taken very serious because the guy had a criminal record (with violent crimes in tow), and it was bad enough to the point where close friends of the guy were sending my brother warnings, concerned that they might not be able to keep him in check.

It never panned out, thankfully, but it caused me many sleepless nights, because my brother thinks he's invincible and I was scared that some real harm was going to come to him. Anywho - I do not wish for this young man to die, regardless...but is it bad that my initial reaction was, well, ambivalent to hearing the news? I guess I feel bad that I'm still holding onto my anger at the guy over the stress he caused my family, even though it was years ago. Would like the guy to pull through, but am finding my sympathy more manufactured, mostly for the friends of mine that are close to him.

the fact that you feel bad about not feeling bad means you have a conscience and are not holding onto vindictive feelings. it's only natural that you wouldn't get worked up over the well-being of a person who has done nothing for you but cause you grief and suffering. i don't think anyone in your position would feel differently, really, except maybe Jesus.

He died. Yikes. :/

http://i.imgur.com/HlZkivf.jpg

apparently he's not dead, but on life support. I really wish people on FB could quit jumping the gun on reporting people dead - this is the second time I've seen this happen. There are people posting Rest in Peace notes about him while his family simultaneously is saying he's alive, on life support, needing a miracle, but is still technically alive.

they prob just want him to have a peaceful rest tho idk

nah, the weird thing is one family member posted that he actually died (which is where some people who are circulating it now got it from), and some other upset family members are insisting he's not and that they're hoping for a miracle.

Update pls