Does anyone think of themselves as ugly?

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I don't. I hate lots of different parts of my body in the same way all girls are supposed to, but I find myself thinking things like 'he only likes me because of how I look' so apparently I don't think of myself as ugly. Do other people worry about things like 'he only likes me because of how I look, what's going to happen when I get old, what's going to happen when he realises what I'm actually like'? And for people who think of themselves as unattractive, what's that like?

― Amity (Amity), Thursday, 18 December 2003 04:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think I'm ugly, I'm more beautiful than any of you could ever imagine...j/k.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 18 December 2003 04:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I know many, many people who do but shouldn't - and quite a few who don't but would be more bearable as people if they did, at least occasionally.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Thursday, 18 December 2003 04:56 (twenty-two years ago)

latebloomer, the sad thing is I actually think that way!!

― Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 18 December 2003 04:59 (twenty-two years ago)

(not really)

― Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 18 December 2003 04:59 (twenty-two years ago)

(well, maybe a bit)

― Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 18 December 2003 04:59 (twenty-two years ago)

"He might like me if I had looks on par with most everyone else, but as is there's no chance."

― Maria (Maria), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:01 (twenty-two years ago)

i had a partner who told me she had never felt unattractive. never even thought about it. i should have realised it was never going to work out.

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:02 (twenty-two years ago)

yes. next.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm ugly and I think it makes me even more desirable. How screwed up is that?!

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:13 (twenty-two years ago)

other people worry about things like 'he only likes me because of how I look, what's going to happen when I get old, what's going to happen when he realises what I'm actually like'?

Yes.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, but I have photos taken of me anyways

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:25 (twenty-two years ago)

not ugly per se
just nondescript anymore,
fading into grey

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not ugly, I'm short.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not ugly, I'm conventionally unattractive.

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:45 (twenty-two years ago)

hahaha

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not ugly, I just crush a lot.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:47 (twenty-two years ago)

[[insert background female vocals]]

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:48 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm not ugly but i hate my body. i have a pretty face i guess but my body looks all wonky and out of proportion. i don't know how anyone could be physically attracted to me, and when people are i convince myself that they are desperate.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I'm fairly unattractive. But this viewpoint is bigger than me and so it would take a heck of a lot for me to start thinking otherwise.

Sorry for breaking the chain, sweets.

― Tenacious Dee (Dee the Lurker), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I'm really healthy and I get all my clothes for free from friends/family or really cheap at second hand stores, so my look is more for functional purposes.

― A Nairn (moretap), Thursday, 18 December 2003 06:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not ugly, just poor.

― hstencil, Thursday, 18 December 2003 06:10 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm not poor, i just have bad taste

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 18 December 2003 06:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't have bad taste, I'm just lazy about it.

― A Nairn (moretap), Thursday, 18 December 2003 06:13 (twenty-two years ago)

(and I'm poor)

― A Nairn (moretap), Thursday, 18 December 2003 06:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I dont think I'm ugly, but I dont think I'm particularly stunning or interesting looking either. I have crappy skin and pisspoor fashion sense. On the other hand I dont really give a monkeys arse about this, I'm happy being me.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 18 December 2003 06:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not lazy, poor, or in bad taste. I'm just provocative.

― Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 18 December 2003 06:17 (twenty-two years ago)

i am ok looking and i have great fashion sense.
looks seem more important so society says

― todd swiss (eliti), Thursday, 18 December 2003 06:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not lazy, poor, in bad taste, or even (very often, deliberately,) provocative. I just lack social skills.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Thursday, 18 December 2003 06:32 (twenty-two years ago)

On the other hand I dont really give a monkeys arse about this, I'm happy being me

trayce, i love you!

and in case anyone gets the wrong idea from my post, that i'm desperately self-loathing, but i wouldn't change my body for the world. i mean, I turn ME on and thats pretty much all that matters.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 18 December 2003 06:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I look like I'm 42. For Christ's sake.

― Arthur (Arthur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 07:15 (twenty-two years ago)

i have a pretty face i guess but my body looks all wonky and out of proportion.

Ms Lurex lies, she is one hottt piece of ass.

― petra jane (petra jane), Thursday, 18 December 2003 08:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I sporadically feel like the Yeti Freak Woman - being 6ft tall and therefore being actually Big-Boned (i'm the same dress size as countless short round chinless girls) and unable to find shoes or bras in my size. But then all my short friends keep complaining that they wish they were tall or their bums too big so hey, statistically speaking i can't be that ugly cause pervy 30-40something men still openly letch on me more weekends than not!

― petra jane (petra jane), Thursday, 18 December 2003 08:39 (twenty-two years ago)

hey i'm 5'3" and have trouble finding bras in my size too. the ones i do find are FUCKING EXPENSIVE.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 18 December 2003 09:52 (twenty-two years ago)

ps tall chicks rule.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 18 December 2003 09:52 (twenty-two years ago)

This is me in front of a plate of cuscus.

http://www.nulleinn.is/files/m/ozzy_osbourne.jpg

I am usually banished to the basement.

― weather!ngda1eson, Thursday, 18 December 2003 10:05 (twenty-two years ago)

p.s. tall chicks rule.

I feel that I can look nice from time to time, but my default state is kind of meh so the *expectations* of people who like me are never strained too much.

Also, I've lost most of the hair I'm going to lose, so I'm hoping I can spend my 30s watching all my friends suffer the agonies of male pattern baldness while I chill with a 40*

I also think/hope that my face, if I can keep the marauding fat at bay, might become more characterful as its lines and idiopsyncracies get deeper.

*I still have no idea what this means.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 18 December 2003 10:11 (twenty-two years ago)

i think it has something to do with beer

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 18 December 2003 10:18 (twenty-two years ago)

It means drinking a large amount of beer, Barry. Something I've NEVER seen you do! ;-)

― HRH Queen Kate (kate), Thursday, 18 December 2003 10:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I used to be quite happy with the way I looked, but as I've got older and tubbier I've started to really dislike my body. I wouldn't describe myself as ugly, just not particularly attractive.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 18 December 2003 10:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I look like I'm 42. For Christ's sake.
-- Arthur (tabren123...), December 18th, 2003.

I am. But I don't look it...

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 18 December 2003 10:21 (twenty-two years ago)

In my head, I never think I'm ugly. I have an idea of what I look like and it bears little resemblance to what I look like in real life. Hence aversion to mirrors, cameras, etc, as they just point out what I am denying, i.e. that I am not terribly attractive.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 18 December 2003 10:22 (twenty-two years ago)

yes.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 18 December 2003 10:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Also, I look really, really bad in all photos ever.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 18 December 2003 10:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I am totally ugly, yes, but I don't think that I am ugly. In fact I am rather happy and comfortable with, and not self-hating about, my decidely portly and starting-to-bald self.

This gives me confidence, so I get to go out with really gorgeous girls, just not the kind of girls who are into pretty boys...

None of this made any sense to me until a few years ago, and it still doesn't make much sense. But basically, sexiness/ mack/ attractive-ness is not so much in the eye of the beholder as in the eye of the beheld. [Woooooh, that sounded like a fucking Hallmark card there, sorry.] It's all about delusion, I guess.

― yetimike (McGonigal), Thursday, 18 December 2003 10:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I think RickyT suffers from exaggerated photophear, but then again, don't we all?

I've grown to be quite content with things I was previously very dissatisfied with previously - mainly my face and to a lesser extent my hair. I feel like I am less satisfied with my body now that I've settled down (live-in boyfriend and an office job have killed my figure) but then again, I wasn't happy with my body when I was skinny, either, so I doubt that'll change. I suppose if it bothered me that much, I'd do something about it (again).

I guess I'm not so much less hard on my appearance as I am accepting of myself. I'm pleased with the fact that I've stayed relatively young-looking, i.e. I'm heading towards my mid-30s but people still guess I'm in my mid to late-20s.

― HRH Queen Kate (kate), Thursday, 18 December 2003 10:28 (twenty-two years ago)

That's the thing. I was more worried about it when I was 25. When I got to thirty, people thought I was fibbing. Admittedly no-one says oh you look xx, and also most people who think I look younger are older..

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 18 December 2003 10:32 (twenty-two years ago)

RickyT is kidding on, the little pixie.

Harhar yes I do, I'd say it's 70% horror but 30% oh I guess it's OK. I also suffer from misplaced catholic guilt and think I should wear a hairshirt to punish myself for not getting thinner ANYTIME. I have never really liked the way I look oh when wil

Shhhh, else this will become my angst-diary from age 14 onwards, marvellous. Oh Richey when will you return...

― Sarah (starry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 10:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Richey James?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 December 2003 11:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Richey Manic!

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 18 December 2003 11:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 89 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Fuckin A

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Sunday, 21 December 2003 10:26 (twenty-two years ago)

How long until people start disagreeing with Melissa?

I disagree with Melissa.

― Schwingung (Damian), Sunday, 21 December 2003 13:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I've met Melissa, and I disagree completely. You're very attractive, Melissa!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 21 December 2003 14:59 (twenty-two years ago)

OK Alex, I used to know an Alex in NYC with a scarred eye. You're not him are you? Do you surf? Are you an art curator? It's a long shot, but just answer the question.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Sunday, 21 December 2003 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

If Mandee is merely average a heck of a lot of us have just been demoted to the remedial class. I hope I can learn how to wire a plug before they boot me out at 15.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Sunday, 21 December 2003 15:54 (twenty-two years ago)

No, I don't surf,....nor do I curate art. Sorry.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah well. Thanks for clearing that up.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 08:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I've gotten the word "cute" most of my life (and I'm convinced it's been based on two things -- my shortness and my goofy humor) and I swear to God, it bothers the shit out of me. I've got a complex -- it's like I'm forever 5 or something. Who wants to bang the "cute" girl?? NO ONE. You want to bang the sexy bitch, not the "cute" thing. I have issues with this, I know.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 00:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Um, I always go for sweet/cute girls over sexy bitches, though I'm sure that's no consolation.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 01:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Hear hear! There's finding someone cute, and there's finding someone cute, and in my experience "you're cute" = "you are young and pretty in inoffensive, innocent way and i am a pervy old despo who reeks of beer, Drum and sometimes my own vomit &/or urine, whose emotional development stopped at age 14 thus i am subconsciously attracted to anyone who reminds me of a 14 year old girl".

― petra jane (petra jane), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 01:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Jesus, just take it as the compliment it is and say 'thank you', you mentalists!

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 01:38 (twenty-two years ago)

haha

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 02:09 (twenty-two years ago)

ethan once asked me what part of my body people had said they liked the most over the years and the best i could was - weakly - "my eyes".

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 02:09 (twenty-two years ago)

this says a lot, though i'm not sure what.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 02:10 (twenty-two years ago)

probably that i should be dating a blind girl with no hands.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 02:11 (twenty-two years ago)

or a brain in a jar.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 02:11 (twenty-two years ago)

you shld obv show yr BELLY BUTTON more often then, Jess!

― petra jane (petra jane), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 03:03 (twenty-two years ago)

that old stomach photo just makes me want to cry now.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 03:14 (twenty-two years ago)

it's like my portrait of dorian gray.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 03:16 (twenty-two years ago)

soon it will look like a starving ethiopian child and i will look like roger ebert.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 03:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I want to bang the cute girl. I think I have a regressive indie gene or something.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 03:41 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah the appeal of having sex with a "sexy" girl seems so foreign to me

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 03:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I can see where jeanne and petrajane are coming from. "cute" seems to have some sort of undertone of ordinariness to me, whereas "sexy" is more movie-starish. That's pretty much how I feel; not gorgeous, not ugly, just boring and not particularly noticeable. I think I'd rather be ugly.

― mouse, Wednesday, 24 December 2003 04:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Do people actually call each other "sexy"? I don't think I've ever heard it used in a non-joking way save a few R&B songs.

― bnw (bnw), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 04:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I've called people a 'sexy bitch'. It's in a jokey way (as denoted by the 'bitch' part', but I did/do think they are sexy)
Also, someone can be cute AND sexy, though usually not simultaneously.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 04:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Do people actually call each other "sexy"?

HAHAHHAAHAHAHAAHAHAA

HAHAHAHA

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 24 December 2003 04:52 (twenty-two years ago)

no cute isn't just ordinary-ness it's there's-something-vaguely-pre-pubescent-about-you-ness. it means i'm-interested-just-not-like-THAT or worse i'm-interested-like-THAT-because-i-am-emotionally-defective. i'm not joking abt the being propositioned by pee-stained 40something alcoholic defectives, we're up to 5 and counting.

is the odd "hey nice tits" too much for a girl to ask?

― petra jane (petra jane), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 22:56 (twenty-two years ago)

hey, nice tits.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 22:57 (twenty-two years ago)

(it's the christmas miracle.)

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 22:57 (twenty-two years ago)

i call people i am attracted to "cute", i don't mean it creepily, i use it pretty much as a euphemism for "hott", cos i mean imagine calling someone "hott" or "sexy" you'd feel like a right nork really. not many people would call me cute. men who find me attractive usually call me "intimidating". i find that hilarious. women who find me attractive usually call me "attractive".

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 23:11 (twenty-two years ago)

''attractive'' is a good word. as in safe to use: better than 'hey you've got nice tits' because you might get slapped.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 23:20 (twenty-two years ago)

key word: "might"

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 23:21 (twenty-two years ago)

not that i've walked up to anyone in this lifetime and told them they were attractive.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 23:21 (twenty-two years ago)

or had nice tits.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 23:21 (twenty-two years ago)

sure: its all abt taking chances.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 23:23 (twenty-two years ago)

haha yeah, you know us.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 23:24 (twenty-two years ago)

"hey, you've got attractive tits"

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 23:26 (twenty-two years ago)

perfection has been achieved.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 23:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Perfect tits?

Oh shit, anything with a question mark seems annoying to me lately...

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 23:30 (twenty-two years ago)

hella uglee.

― etc, Wednesday, 24 December 2003 23:46 (twenty-two years ago)

"Attractive" sounds creepy still (i.e. as if you might be slightly horny, or have some other interest in genitals). Please say, "I don't find you altogether aesthetically displeasing". It never fails!

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Thursday, 25 December 2003 00:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Di OTM.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 25 December 2003 00:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm quite vain and I like my face a lot, however I am very flabby so most of the time I feel like this:

http://www.news-press.com/multimedia/galleries/photogs/stephen/images/manatees.jpg

― Adrian (Adrian Langston), Thursday, 25 December 2003 01:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Jess, i kiss you.

― petra jane (petra jane), Thursday, 25 December 2003 02:22 (twenty-two years ago)

no tongues.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 25 December 2003 05:19 (twenty-two years ago)

okay. maybe a little.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 25 December 2003 05:19 (twenty-two years ago)

see, it does work.

― petra jane (petra jane), Thursday, 25 December 2003 06:18 (twenty-two years ago)

meanwhile i am turning into a stick man because ever since i moved like five months ago i've just been increasingly forgetting to eat unless someone reminds me and i think my muscles are deteriorating because i'm having weird spasms, or it might just be a posture thing. but either way all my clothes are even loser than usual, and its starting to get pretty dramatic, not that i had that much weight to begin with.

so i think i need to gain some back or i will begin to look very horrifying indeed.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Thursday, 25 December 2003 06:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Make sure that you have foods around that you really really like. It makes it easier to remember to eat them or muster up the appetite. Easy food. Learn to nag yourself about eating. Keep a lot of munchy things around too. (Just my own experience with trying to keep my weight up to a normal level) It's kind of worked for me, I've managed to stay at 125ish after being at 115 last Christmas (which is less than I'd ever weighed since hitting puberty).

People always complain about being overweight, but when you're losing a lot of weight in an unhealthy way, it's disturbing too. You don't feel like you're living in your own body anymore. At times when my appetite has been really terrible, I've had people comment that I looked emaciated. I have no idea how to respond to that sort of comment.

In general, it seems like weight issues just suck.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Thursday, 25 December 2003 07:07 (twenty-two years ago)

i realized recently that as soon as my life isn't centered around "work" or regular responsibilities of some kind (ie. as soon as i get the chance to introspect), everything falls to pieces. on a lazy day, i can go from thinking i'm not particulary attractive to really despising how i look - being unable to imagine *anyone* wanting to be with the physical me.

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Thursday, 25 December 2003 07:31 (twenty-two years ago)

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