Chris Kattan is hot alrighty

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I mean, damn. Ever see him do that Antonio Banderes impression?

Sexxxy.

Nothing wrong with a short guy. ('Specially if he's sexxxy.)

― Pandora, Thursday, 18 December 2003 08:07 (twenty-two years ago)

The unworthy schmuck was attractive enough to be boning Zooey Deschanel at one point in time. This has always enraged me.

― Homer Formby, Thursday, 18 December 2003 09:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you completely mad?

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 14:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Zooey's a fucking war pig. She's also been with Rob Schneider.

― DarrensCoq (DarrenK), Thursday, 18 December 2003 14:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I completely made that up, but not the following: remember the short-lived WB teen show "Popular"? The brunette, Carly Pope, went to Point Grey, where a lot of my friends went. When Popular ended and she came back to Vancouver, she was a fucked up, snotty hedonist. At a party, we saw her making out with her own brother. Serious.

― DarrensCoq (DarrenK), Thursday, 18 December 2003 14:28 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.rochestergoesout.com/mov/c/corkyr.jpg

He's funny, but you can have him.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 18 December 2003 14:29 (twenty-two years ago)

He kind of looks like one of my ex-boyfriends, wtf. My mom was right.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 14:32 (twenty-two years ago)

right in that you only date boys who look like SNL castmembers?

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 18 December 2003 14:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd make the Jimmy Fallon joke again but I don't really care to date him anymore.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 14:40 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread is completely insane. Chris Kattan?

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 18 December 2003 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Nicole, tell me he doesn't look like F*** S*******, though. Not that that proves what you are saying wrong.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, I knew who you were talking about right away!

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 18 December 2003 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

i know someone that looks a lot like him. you can probably date him...

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 18 December 2003 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I need a drink.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 14:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I was disappointed that there was no Mango sketch when the Rock first hosted, back in March 2000.

― El Santo Claus (Kingfish), Thursday, 18 December 2003 15:35 (twenty-two years ago)

four weeks pass...

Chris Kattan I will suck your dick right now!!!

lol brb

Cris I luvv you
lemme suck it

― Sara, Friday, 16 January 2004 10:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, ugly people need love too!

― Francis Watlington (Francis Watlington), Friday, 16 January 2004 16:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I have a funny story about accidentally meeting Chris Kattan.

Actually, it's probably only funny if you were there.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Friday, 16 January 2004 17:02 (twenty-two years ago)

No, that story was pretty funny!

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Friday, 16 January 2004 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I always thought he was gay...

― Prude (Prude), Friday, 16 January 2004 20:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Share the story, Mel!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 16 January 2004 20:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I hope that's really Sara's email address.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 16 January 2004 20:19 (twenty-two years ago)

two years pass...

Ally dated F*** S*******?

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 19:33 (twenty years ago)

I had a crush on him in junior high, but back then I was getting approximately 87 crushes a day, especially if the guy had dark hair.

― Abbott (Abbott), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 19:38 (twenty years ago)

SURPRISE

http://www.theb52s.com/touring/fredtour.jpg

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 19:39 (twenty years ago)

(I only really revived this because I thought a couple years ago I had mentioned a dream I had about Chris Kattan, where we were wading in Lake Michigan together and he gave me some free Taco Bell coupons.)

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 19:39 (twenty years ago)

I still want to hear Mel's story.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 19:40 (twenty years ago)

lmao @ F*** S******* - used to talk to dude on aim abt 90s hiphop back in h.s. while doing my homework & watching bet after school!!! i remember his weird drunk aicon, he did kinda look like kattan

― ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Wednesday, 22 February 2006 19:42 (twenty years ago)

(xp) Maybe if someone changes the title to "Jonny Greenwood is hot alrighty" to fool her into clicking on it?

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 19:42 (twenty years ago)

who? what?

― sunny successor (katharine), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 19:46 (twenty years ago)

What do you need, sunny?

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 19:48 (twenty years ago)

time to consult the database

― ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Wednesday, 22 February 2006 19:50 (twenty years ago)

fred savage?

― sunny successor (katharine), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 19:51 (twenty years ago)

btw: did you get the joos ysi?

― sunny successor (katharine), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 19:52 (twenty years ago)

half right

― ,,,,,,,,,, Wednesday, 22 February 2006 19:53 (twenty years ago)

No, I didn't get the YSI! Did you send it to my Gmail?

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 19:57 (twenty years ago)

kids today

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 19:59 (twenty years ago)

xpost
nope. check this thread:

Singletons' Valentine's Day commiseration thread

― sunny successor (katharine), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 20:09 (twenty years ago)

oh wait. it expired.

― sunny successor (katharine), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 20:10 (twenty years ago)

Oh no, it's too late! Sorry, I forgot to check that thread after that afternoon. I went to see Transamerica and got all riled up.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 20:11 (twenty years ago)

Fred Savage asked a friend of mine to prom. When she said no, he said "But do you know who I am?"

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 20:11 (twenty years ago)

What was the circumstance in which he was even asking her to begin with?

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 20:12 (twenty years ago)

He saw her in a store in LA and thought she was mighty purdy.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 20:12 (twenty years ago)

For some reason the very idea of Fred Savage is inducing the roffles.

― My Psychic Friends Are Strangely Silent (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 20:38 (twenty years ago)

I hope when she turned him down a disembodied voice started talking about all the lessons he learned that day.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 20:43 (twenty years ago)

Zooey's a fucking war pig. She's also been with Rob Schneider.

-- DarrensCoq (darrensco...), December 18th, 2003.

i was having a depressing enough day...

― latebloomer: Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K. (latebloomer), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 20:49 (twenty years ago)

No, latebloomer, it means there's hope for us all!

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 20:50 (twenty years ago)

Ben Savage (lil brother from Boy Meets World) came into the record store i was working at one night with a blazing hot girl. he had the worst taste in music (Dave Matthews type shit) and we made fun of him about it. but he knew it was shit, but didn't care because he was with a shit hot girl and didn't care and was able to make fun of himself. decent kid i say

― team jaxon (jaxon), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 21:08 (twenty years ago)

Maybe if someone changes the title to "Jonny Greenwood is hot alrighty" to fool her into clicking on it?

That might work.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 21:08 (twenty years ago)

my biggest fear is that my wife (Filipino) and I (half jewish) are gonna have a kid that looks just like Rob Schnieder (of that same ethnic makeup)

― team jaxon (jaxon), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 21:09 (twenty years ago)

ben savage is a bro

― ham'ron (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 21:10 (twenty years ago)

he has given me hours of televised syndicated entertainment

― ham'ron (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 21:10 (twenty years ago)

him and his voluptuous pubescent mulatto girlfriend

― ham'ron (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 21:10 (twenty years ago)

wtf jaymc!!!!!

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 21:15 (twenty years ago)

Just hope for a girl, Jax.

http://www.womwam.net/ft/us/35-39/B_Luna/pinup/bl_port.JPG

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 21:16 (twenty years ago)

hahahaha omg i just got that

― ham'ron (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 21:16 (twenty years ago)

ally was winnie!

― ham'ron (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 21:16 (twenty years ago)

pinnacle of my existance, all downhill from there.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 21:34 (twenty years ago)

Anyway, um, as I said, the story is actually not that funny.

Ran into Chris at a Radiohead afterparty in Hollywood, where he was very intent upon speaking to Thom. Enter Thom. My friend and I start to talk to him. Chris pretty much shoves us out of his way in his zeal to talk to Thom, very serious, no smiles, all, "Hey Thom, great to see you again," as Thom's face turns into one giant question mark. Chris notices this and explains that he's from Saturday Night Live. Thom blinks. Chris reminds them that they played SNL in 2000. No reaction. Chris starts recounting their past interaction in detail. Thom smiles, extends his hand and says, "Oh yeah, Chris, great to see you again!" When Chris looks away briefly, Thom shrugs at me and my friend and mouths something like, "I have no idea who the fuck this guy is." Chris continues to blather on about how much Radiohead's music means to him and about the important work of artists in today's political climate and blah blah blah. My friend and I are standing behind Chris in Thom's line of sight, as we're waiting for Chris to fuck off so we can resume our conversation with Thom. We start to motion as though we're picking Chris up and forcibly moving him out of the way. Thom collapses into giggles. Chris is totally unaware and confused. Finally fucks off a few minutes later.

The end.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 21:41 (twenty years ago)

Haha, that's great, actually!

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 21:42 (twenty years ago)

Cocaine's a helluva drug.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 21:44 (twenty years ago)

I hope that's really Sara's email address.

Did she make you say that, Dan?

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 21:48 (twenty years ago)

That is a *brilliant* story, Mel.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 21:51 (twenty years ago)

If I recall, he was also wearing a dark gray turtleneck, which added to the ponciness.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 22:59 (twenty years ago)

I'm glad I wasn't there

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 23:09 (twenty years ago)

No, latebloomer, it means there's hope for us all!

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), February 22nd, 2006.

nah, i mean i'm just bummed out that people wiilingly sleep katan and/or schneider, regardless of what it means for me personally.

― latebloomer: Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K. (latebloomer), Thursday, 23 February 2006 03:06 (twenty years ago)

Corly ROmano was a misstep

― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Thursday, 23 February 2006 06:27 (twenty years ago)

three years pass...

Yeah that...what?

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 6 August 2009 04:00 (sixteen years ago)

Slate's headline writer deserves a raise for that one

― ken tynan's spanking buddy (sciolism), Thursday, 6 August 2009 04:10 (sixteen years ago)

four years pass...

http://www.tmz.com/2014/02/10/chris-kattan-arrested-dui-drunk-driving/

― how's life, Monday, 10 February 2014 20:45 (twelve years ago)

Just I haven't had a thought about this fool in over ten years! Those are terrible drug sweatpants. What's up Chris?

― how's life, Monday, 10 February 2014 20:50 (twelve years ago)

it must be rough realizing your one of those SNL castmembers who's never going to have a career outside the show

― How dare you tarnish the reputation of Turturro's yodel (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 10 February 2014 20:58 (twelve years ago)

From his imdb trivia:

Engaged to model Sunshine Tutt [January 5, 2007] and planning to wed in 2008.
Chris and model Sunshine Deia Tutt became engaged on December 24, 2006 at her grandparents' home in Gainesville, Texas.
He and his wife, Sunshine Deia Tutt, separated on August 10, 2008.

― ...out of that weakness, out of that envy, out of that fear.. (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 10 February 2014 21:02 (twelve years ago)

Dear god I had forgotten that Thom Yorke story upthread.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 10 February 2014 21:11 (twelve years ago)

it must be rough realizing your one of those SNL castmembers who's never going to have a career outside the show

i'd think the odd success of Jimmy Fallon could've convinced anyone that they'd make it

― frogbs, Monday, 10 February 2014 21:13 (twelve years ago)

thom yorke & his friends sound like dicks

― flopson, Monday, 10 February 2014 22:17 (twelve years ago)

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