How many times per day is too many times? (when it comes to whacking off)

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2? 3? one? is there no upper limit?

― Ian Johnson (orion), Monday, 22 December 2003 06:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Masterbation:morally worng addiction or new olympic sport ?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 22 December 2003 06:46 (twenty-two years ago)

But you see, "masturbation" isn't necessarily such a simple thing to define. For me there is a broad spectrum of activities that I would call "mastubatory," too many to count .... At the moment I'm sitting on one foot, rocking back and forth against my heel, not working myself into a frenzy or anything, and I probably won't bring myself over the top tonight, but, you know, I'm feelin' OK. Should I feel guilty? Should I place limitations on this sort of behavior? You tell me ...

― jewelly (jewelly), Monday, 22 December 2003 07:40 (twenty-two years ago)

hey, if you're not wearing the skin off then don't worry

― the surface noise (electricsound), Monday, 22 December 2003 07:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Exactly. Keep it under 15 times a day and you'll be fine. If you want to up the ante to 20-30 times a day, you should use a skincare product.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 22 December 2003 09:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm sitting on one foot, rocking back and forth against my heel, not working myself into a frenzy or anything, and I probably won't bring myself over the top tonight, but, you know, I'm feelin' OK

Proof that god was a gurl.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 22 December 2003 10:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Does fucking pillows count?

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 22 December 2003 10:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Only if you studiously ignore them afterwards.

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 22 December 2003 10:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I was walking along a mountain path and a beautiful woman was walking towards me in the other direction. I didn't know whether I should step to one side or toss myself off.

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Monday, 22 December 2003 11:07 (twenty-two years ago)

another query - does masturbation drain thesexual energy or does it act an an exciter ? are you hornier because of frequent masturbation, or less horny?

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Monday, 22 December 2003 13:57 (twenty-two years ago)

if masturbating makes you more horny, and if being horny makes you want to masturbate... then would everybody who's ever had a wank end up perpetually a wanker?

is that what happens to townies?

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 22 December 2003 14:48 (twenty-two years ago)

One time we were all in this taxi cab, right, and pretty much apropos of nothing our friend L*** announces that one time he masturbated six times in two hours. This revelation still horrifies me to this day. How did he have anything left? I wonder what the taxi driver thought of us, considering another passenger confessed to only changing his underwear like once a week, tops, if his girlfriend wasn't around and I told a horrifying story about my friend's "female issues".

― Allyzay, Monday, 22 December 2003 14:53 (twenty-two years ago)

if you do it that many times in that short a period, all that comes out towards the end is like a little fart of air.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 22 December 2003 16:21 (twenty-two years ago)

not that, uh, i know anything about that.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 22 December 2003 16:21 (twenty-two years ago)

That sounds...unpleasant?

― Allyzay, Monday, 22 December 2003 16:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I was walking along a mountain path and a beautiful woman was walking towards me in the other direction. I didn't know whether I should step to one side or toss myself off.

Ahem "block her passage or toss myself off"

*is immediately sacked from 1930s BBC radio*

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Monday, 22 December 2003 16:26 (twenty-two years ago)

well ally, much like scribbling over a piece of notebook paper with a ballpoint pen until the entire surface is shiny and leathery and black, it's an act of compulsion, not love.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 22 December 2003 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

if you do it that many times in that short a period, all that comes out towards the end is like a little fart of air.

Good grief. I'm getting a sympathetic twinge/ache just thinking about this.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 22 December 2003 16:31 (twenty-two years ago)

i am amazed more of you men don't know this! were you never a 12 yr old boy home sick from school?!

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 22 December 2003 16:33 (twenty-two years ago)

NO
SHUT UP

― TOMBOT, Monday, 22 December 2003 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

when i ws 14 and off from school w/glandular fever, I could barely move, let alone crank off!!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 22 December 2003 16:35 (twenty-two years ago)

there are only three things to do when home sick from school, a. watch old reruns of what's happening? and all in the family, b. whack off, c. eat corn chips.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 22 December 2003 16:35 (twenty-two years ago)

6 times in 2 hours? That sounds about right.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 22 December 2003 16:43 (twenty-two years ago)

wait.. being homesick makes you horny?

xpost

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 22 December 2003 16:44 (twenty-two years ago)

sitting on one foot = classic

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 22 December 2003 16:46 (twenty-two years ago)

homesick or home sick?

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 22 December 2003 16:47 (twenty-two years ago)

how the fuck do you sit on your own foot?

― oops (Oops), Monday, 22 December 2003 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

oops in paralyzed war veteran shocker

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 22 December 2003 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean I just tried and I think I broke something.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 22 December 2003 17:09 (twenty-two years ago)

are you hornier because of frequent masturbation, or less horny?

I go through phases of frequency. Doing it makes me desire it. But that wouldn't explain the times when I'm not feeling the desire... Hmm.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 22 December 2003 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

i haven't really had the urge to do it in like four months.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 22 December 2003 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

i think i'm broken.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 22 December 2003 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

The first time I ever masturbated was when I was like 22.

― Allyzay, Monday, 22 December 2003 17:19 (twenty-two years ago)

LIES

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 22 December 2003 17:19 (twenty-two years ago)

...and realised you've been missing out?

xpost

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 22 December 2003 17:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm kind of not lying! TMI TMI haha the like three times I had phone sex when I was a teenager I pretended to be masturbating on the phone? I don't know why I didn't just be like, I'm totally not into this? I can't decide if that is more or less jacked up than jerking off to the point of pain and non-ejaculation.

― Allyzay, Monday, 22 December 2003 17:23 (twenty-two years ago)

haha potato potahtoe

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 22 December 2003 17:24 (twenty-two years ago)

im in constant state of erection, i could probably masturbate 20 times a day.

― Chris 'Knuckle Deep' V. (Chris V), Monday, 22 December 2003 17:24 (twenty-two years ago)

At least you guys are getting some pleasure out of it. Haha seriously even now like I just get really bored with it 95% of the time and just end up falling asleep.

― Allyzay, Monday, 22 December 2003 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

i masturbate when im asleep.

― Chris 'Knuckle Deep' V. (Chris V), Monday, 22 December 2003 17:27 (twenty-two years ago)

i sense chris is trying to start a reverse-Seinfeld contest

― oops (Oops), Monday, 22 December 2003 17:28 (twenty-two years ago)

are you funnier asleep?

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 22 December 2003 17:28 (twenty-two years ago)

yes. thanks jess.

― Chris 'Knuckle Deep' V. (Chris V), Monday, 22 December 2003 17:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I was similar to what Ally said in her first post, but I couldn't imagine getting bored with it.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Monday, 22 December 2003 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I've fallen asleep in the midst of masturbation. How insulting?! But I never have that problem when the vibrator is in the picture. God bless that tool.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 22 December 2003 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

God bless that tool

Yeah, spirit of the season and all that - merry xmas Calum!

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 22 December 2003 17:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I couldn't imagine getting bored with it.

See: extremely unhealthy attitudes when younger. (I hate sex. for example)

Vibrators give me the fucking fear. No pun intended? Ergh. Every day I read ILX is one more day where I feel like I'm never going to have sex again for being so freaked out by things I think about here.

― Allyzay, Monday, 22 December 2003 18:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Vibrators give me the fucking fear.

The sound of loneliness, turned up to ten?

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 22 December 2003 18:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Vibrators are really great. I agree that the infamous Hitatchi thing looks erm, intimidating. But the smaller ones -- or even the little pocket-sized ones -- yes, those are good stuffs. Don't fear the buzz. For the buzz doth love you.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 22 December 2003 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

new band concept, table of vibrators with contact mikes attached, run thru distortion pedals.....vibrator tones for the painfully alone

― Vacillating temp (Vacillating temp), Monday, 22 December 2003 18:19 (twenty-two years ago)

haha! That's pure art!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 22 December 2003 18:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Spencer I kiss you.

― Allyzay, Monday, 22 December 2003 18:22 (twenty-two years ago)

where is the male vibrator? must we be perkin'-merkinless?

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Monday, 22 December 2003 18:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I think it should be called the perkin' merkin' gherkin.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 22 December 2003 18:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Ugh one time Phil sent me a picture of a fake vagina, which I assume is the male vibrator, and I had nightmares for weeks.

― Allyzay, Monday, 22 December 2003 18:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Refusal to use vibrators = Duracellibacy?

― donut bitch (donut), Monday, 22 December 2003 22:24 (twenty-two years ago)

arrrgh

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 22 December 2003 22:26 (twenty-two years ago)

(drum fill) rake my wife, please

― donut bitch (donut), Monday, 22 December 2003 22:31 (twenty-two years ago)

jeanne and ally and everyone else otm.

when it's me and the hand i often fall asleep. in these instances mastrubation is often for the tension-release/sedative qualities.

The pocket rockets and other battery-operated vibes are too weak for me. It's all about the ac/dc baby. When using a vibrator it's all about getting off and usually I can several orgasms in a row then.

I would like to also say how great it is to have jewelly back.

― Viva La Sam (thatgirl), Monday, 22 December 2003 22:35 (twenty-two years ago)

With guys I think wanking is universally just a response to boredom. It loses its novelty about the second time you actually make yourself ejaculate and from that point on it's like "hmm I am alone and have nothing else to do, I suppose I will pull on my tackle until I make a mess"

I really kind of hate it, but as stated above, it feels kind of compulsive when you start to get bored.

It's certainly not something I think any guy does to make himself feel better. At least not me.

― TOMBOT, Monday, 22 December 2003 22:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Tombot OTM. The joy of masturbation is fleeting - ie., it disappears about three seconds after you finish.

― o. nate (onate), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 01:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Although sometimes it can help you to relax.

― o. nate (onate), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 01:21 (twenty-two years ago)

well ally, much like scribbling over a piece of notebook paper with a ballpoint pen until the entire surface is shiny and leathery and black, it's an act of compulsion, not love.

Holy shit. On. The. Fucking. Mark.

― Andrew (enneff), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 01:26 (twenty-two years ago)

For me, I reckon about 3 out of every 4 wanks are pretty much through habit rather than horniness. I don't know if this is a bad thing or not.

― Andrew (enneff), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 01:27 (twenty-two years ago)

new band concept, table of vibrators with contact mikes attached, run thru distortion pedals.....vibrator tones for the painfully alone

Playing a guitar with a vibrator sounds amazing; the pickups pickup the vibrations AND they vibrate the strings.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 01:45 (twenty-two years ago)

matt middleton to thread!

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 02:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought that's what an ebow did.

― may pang (maypang), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 02:35 (twenty-two years ago)

einsturzende neubauten must be kicking themselves now

― the surface noise (electricsound), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 02:35 (twenty-two years ago)

sitting on one foot = classic

Woo-hoo! I thought I'd said too much and exposed myself as a freak as usual.

― jewelly (jewelly), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 03:51 (twenty-two years ago)

That is what an ebow does, except the vibrator makes lots of harsh clanging noises and rhythmic poundy poundy noises--it doesn't just sustain the note.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 04:27 (twenty-two years ago)

HSA to thread!

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 05:41 (twenty-two years ago)

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