Do you still masturbate regularly even when you're in a satisfying sexual relationship with someone?

Alright, maybe not.

I don't masturbate *instead of* sex, for me it's something different, maybe more selfish, just "I want to have an orgasm and that's it". Sex with my girlfriend is about sharing something.

seriously though, it's almost not even sexual, it's like a comfort thing. like eating a whole pizza.

Matt is scarily correct! ha!

However, I suppose my analogy is just as bad. I view masturbation the way that I view 4-tracking, or noodling about on the guitar by myself to see what comes up, and sex with a partner is like a jam session, a good rehearsal or a gig.

I think that's interesting too. I can't really see why it makes much difference if you wank with the aid of p0rn or not. If not, you're still going to have some fantasy running across your mind's eye, and it's unlikely (yet possible) to be about someone you're currently having sex with, because that's not generally how fantasies work. But I think you're right, if I said to my girlfriend: "not only do I masturbate, but I also use p0rn", she'd be even more upset. Why? (assuming one doesn't have a necessarily anti-porn attitude)

if you explicitly told your girlfriend you used porn to aid masturbation of course it would be upsetting, it would sound like an insult. she didn't need to know this.

But again, it's a question of proportion. Occasional p0rn use is not a problem, but reliance on p0rn is a problem.

I looked up this quote in Time Magazine, because I found the whole article very interesting. Now normally, reading Time is like having Middle America in all its conservative right wing glory poured down my throat like cod liver oil, but this quote is interesting:

"(They)... say men who frequently view p0rn may develop unrealistic expectations of women's appearance and behaviour, have difficulty forming and sustaining relationships and feeling sexually satisfied."

Describe anyone we know?

Sex is such a deeply behaviourly thing. Orgasm is such a powerful positive reward response that people very quickly get sexually conditioned. In a way, this is good. Look at the myriad variations of human sexuality and what a wonderful diversity that is! It leads to better sex and a better relationship if you learn to associate your partner with an orgasm response. But if your orgasm response has been conditioned to respond only to a very narrow range of female appearance and submissive behaviour, or even worse, if your orgasm response has been conditioned to respond to demeaning and humiliation of women, or video nasties or the like, you are going to have problems with a *real* woman.

I say like I said about masturbation. If it is an addition to a mutually satisfying sexual relationship with your partner, it's fine. If it supplants it, or distracts from it, it is not fine.

one of those things that i end up having long feminist debates with myself in my head when i try to make a call either way.

the last couple guys i've dated seem to be of the 'i find strip clubs weird and a little scary' school. which keeps me happy. even if they're exagerating a little, that's ok. (if they're saying this and going once a week, yeah, there's issues)
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It's a tough question to answer. I've had male roommates when I was single, and although they were actively in a sexual relationship, they would jerk off daily. How did I know? If you've even had sex ONCE in your life, there's just 'sex noises' that can't be masked. Both of them jerked off each morning in the shower, so I don't know if they were sooooo happy with washing their willy or they were using Herbal Essense shampoo.

To me, jerking off more than one time a day, if you're over the age of 30 says that you're NOT doing it for sex, you're using it as an excuse. My male friends have said that they wank when bored, killing time, want to feel good about themselves, or meet some stranger on a bus/restaurant, etc.

Like anything, it can be abused. My EX (note: EX!) wanked off every chance he got, even though we had sex multiple times per week. He said that "It just felt good", and he saw no reason to stop. To me, that's like over-eating, saying that even though you're not hungry, the taste of food is too good to pass by.

It came to be a problem because he did it so often, he couldn't perform in bed, because there was nothing left to give to me.

On occasion, if your partner is away/sick/or too tired, then it's okay. If you wank as often as you brush your teeth, then NO!

It's voyeristic, demeaning to your partner, and sets up a wall between what is 'normal' and what is not. Unless you have mirrored walls in your bedroom and a dance pole, (which would be COOL!), then how can your partner compete with "Pro's". The girls stay at the same age (under 25 years old) each and every year, while your partner, like YOU, gets older and less nubile each year.

I don't know many men who'd like their women to go to Male Strip clubs each week and then know that they are wanking off to them.

This thinking was also present in Ancient Greece, and is, frankly, wide of the mark. We know a lot more about the human body now than we ever have before. Firstly, partaking in masturbating regularly will lower the quantity of testosterone in a man’s body, and hence make him less competitive, unfocused, and aggressive. Secondly, it may provide great health benefits to the prostate gland. If one wants to abstain from sex, feel free, but don’t assume that you’re healthier morally, sexually or even physically.

Here are several links of note:

Here are several links of note:

Flesh
and the Devil.

BBC
Health on Masturbation.

Masturbation
and How It May Prevent Cancer.

That's the outline of it anyway.

I should point out I wasn't necesarily suggesting the ancients had the right idea - just that such concepts have been around.

I guess its a bit hard for me to know how troublesome it is for guys - even for a female, I'm really quite err... undersexed for want of a better word. I could possibly go much of the rest of my life without any.

Do you regularly masturbate someone that you're still in a satisfying sexual relationship with?

This discribes me too. I don't nessicarly think it's bad thing, but when I see all these other people off playing in the sand box it gets me wondering what kind of holes there are digging.

(good links charles)

I'm actually more curious about frequency of masturbation.

(Xpost - you have to work out which Q I'm answering...)

Ah, yes, the ancient Greeks, responsible for such scientifically correct theories as "The sun goes round the earth" and "the earth is the centre of the universe" and "spontaneous generation of maggots from rotting meat".

I just don't want to know about any religion that denies the flesh, or tries to focus your attentions on some kind of otherworldly gain. Classic misdirection.

See, I just proved my own wankety-statement! wank-wank!

I sometimes masturbate even when my body isn't telling me i need an orgasm. that make me feel like my mind has full control over my body.

Without the Greeks, we wouldn't have The Roman Empire. Or the Gnostification (is that even a word?) of Christianity. So I'd be living in a Celtic British Isles, under a Queen like Boudiccea (heck, I might even BE a Queen like Boudicea) and worshipping a lovely wonderful all-encompassing mother goddess and drinking mead and having orgies, so there, nyeah nyeah nyeah, evil greeks, feh.

kebab shop owner: "hey lady you like mint sauce on your doner kebab?"

(then again a quarter of threads are masturbation threads so the chances are increased)

Bjork once said something to this effect. Something like writing a song with someone is more intimate than having sex with them.

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Evelyn Waugh went one step further in Vile Bodies, didn’t he? I believe Nina Blount said,

All this fuss about sleeping together. For physical pleasure I'd sooner go to my dentist any day.

It's the difference between "Sex is so boring I'd rather go to the dentist" and "ohmigod, making music is so amazing, it might actually be better than sex!"

Yes, but you’re missing the point of the quote. She wasn’t disinterested in sex, per se, the sex she had simply wasn’t very good (presumably a lack of orgasm was implied -- isn’t it always?).

Talk to the hand.

You are assuming sensual pleasure is better than a nonsensual pleasure. I feel that sensual pleasure is very temporary and therefore not as good as something more spiritual or mental which is much less temporary. I would even think that too much sensual pleasure takes away from other pleasure.