Cleaning out your bellybutton

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so this is crucial. i was looking at my bellybutton the other daya nd realised it was well skanky, and it needed cleaning. but i had to totally dig out the shit, and it is nigh on impossible to clean yr bellybutton satisfactorally. But, i mean, i only do this at er....very long intervals. i mean, i rub soap all over my belly when i shower, but i dont make a concerted efort to clean my bellybutton. so what are you tips? what lengths have you gone to make sure that the grime ois out (and what the fuck is that in yr bellybutton?). Have you ever even looked in yr bellybutton (im thinking of bellybuttons that go in, oviously). If the idea of not giving it a good poke/scub every week or whatever is abhorent, when did it first occur to you to do so? did your mother tell you?

am i some sort of freak for either a) even thinking about bits of dead skin in my bellybutton, and looking at it, or b) letting it get in that state in the first place?

this is so important to me right now. please give me you anecdotes, advice, warning etc.

― ambrose (ambrose), Friday, 23 January 2004 16:23 (twenty-two years ago)

My belly button converts lint into gold. It's a superpower that would entitle me to membership in the Legion of Superheroes, if I lived 1000 years from now.

― Luigi Vampa (Horace Mann), Friday, 23 January 2004 16:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I have officially been put off my food for the rest of the day.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 23 January 2004 16:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!!! I hate bellybuttons so much that if there were surgery to get mine removed, I would have it. I have a very deep bellybutton. When I was a teenager, I hated it so much that I never cleaned it and I developped an infection. The treatment for this - being held down and having my belly button attacked with medical instruments and smeared with stinging ointments - only made my fear of bellybuttons worse. I can't even think about it without curling up in a ball and wincing. Ugh! ugh! ugh!

― the river fleet, Friday, 23 January 2004 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Ambrose I feel so sick now.

(x-post with Alex and Kate)

― Anna (Anna), Friday, 23 January 2004 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

use a q-tip

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Friday, 23 January 2004 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Yep, cotton bud!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 23 January 2004 16:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Tokyo OTM. A tweezer helps if it's really, erm, how do I put this delicately? Crusty. Ugh! ugh! Ugh!

― the river fleet, Friday, 23 January 2004 16:36 (twenty-two years ago)

yo thats ill son.
whattup??
Wil

― Willdabeast, Friday, 23 January 2004 16:37 (twenty-two years ago)

A yellow substance collects in my belly button. It smells so bad that I can't stop smelling it. Sometimes it's runny, sometimes it's crusty. I wonder what it tastes like. Anyway, when it's particularly bad I get a ball of cottenwool, run it under the tap, stick it in, twist it round and pull it out, give it a sniff and flush it down the bog.

This is the first time I've felt able to tell anyone.

― smellybelly, Friday, 23 January 2004 16:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Smelly, you have a bellybutton infection. See your doctor. Yes, the treatment is REALLY HORRIBLE AND NASTY but it's better than what you are experiencing right now.

― the river fleet, Friday, 23 January 2004 16:39 (twenty-two years ago)

if only we were oviparous eh? that'd solve everything.

― MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 23 January 2004 16:41 (twenty-two years ago)

euw euw euw! this thread is so gross!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 23 January 2004 16:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I know! I want to take a shower now!

― the river fleet, Friday, 23 January 2004 16:43 (twenty-two years ago)

All you need to do is stick a cotton bud in there when you are having a shower & then it doesn't get to this stage ppl!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 23 January 2004 16:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Grody!

― Francis Watlington (Francis Watlington), Friday, 23 January 2004 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

The first time stuff came out of my belly button, I was amazed.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 23 January 2004 17:23 (twenty-two years ago)

It's been diminishing returns ever since.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 23 January 2004 17:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Touching my bellybutton triggers in me some kind of gag reflex. It's like I have an extra thousand nerve endings right *there*. How so many people have pierced their bellybuttons is unfathomable. I get massive shivers thinking about it. As for cleaning, I bite the bullet and use a q-tip and alcohol.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 23 January 2004 17:24 (twenty-two years ago)

USE A CORKSCREW SUCKAS

― sucka (sucka), Friday, 23 January 2004 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I had a boyfriend once who had a bellybutton fetish. I thought it was kind of strange, but I'm not too grossed out by my belly button as long as it's clean.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Friday, 23 January 2004 19:15 (twenty-two years ago)

In high school I wrote a short story set in a junior high school playground with a smaller-of-stature kid getting picked on by a big fat kid cuz the kid smelled funny - it turned out he was going through puberty and his hormones made his sweat smell funny to these kids - that ends with the small kid raping the big fat kid in the naval and everybody freaking the fuck out and him walking home "triumphant".

― yeah right I'm gonna stay logged in for this, Friday, 23 January 2004 19:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm going to throw up all over my keyboard now. Thanks.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 23 January 2004 20:22 (twenty-two years ago)

ha ha

So what the fuck with you super-human creatures whose belly-buttons don't collect lint? I clean my shit out like every week.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 23 January 2004 20:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I know a fat person who impresses people by fitting an entire dollar coin inside his navel. This takes away much of the little respect I have for fatty guthole stretcher. I will also never loan him money and ask for it back EW EW

― sucka (sucka), Friday, 23 January 2004 20:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I understand none of this thread. You wash in the shower and everything is dandy. Why the angst?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 23 January 2004 20:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm starting to wonder if I just have a cavernous belly-button with a lint-magnet planted firmly in the depths or something.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 23 January 2004 20:33 (twenty-two years ago)

What would suck is if somehow while cleaning it with, like, tweezers you accidentally opened it up and then you would just have a hole in your stomach where like partially digested foods, stomach acid and blood just oozes out.

― A Nairn (moretap), Friday, 23 January 2004 20:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Thanks. I didn't have enough irrational phobias as it was. ;-)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 23 January 2004 20:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm with Ned. I never specifically clean just my belly-button, and I just checked it and everything seems fine. And I have an innie!

― Broheems (diamond), Friday, 23 January 2004 20:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Thanks. I didn't have enough irrational phobias as it was. ;-)

Just think of cleaning your bellybutton as being like when the evil priest of Kali in Temple of Room is reaching for the one guy's heart and AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 23 January 2004 20:48 (twenty-two years ago)

ha ha Temple of Room

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 23 January 2004 20:49 (twenty-two years ago)

That short story plot...um, ew.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Friday, 23 January 2004 21:04 (twenty-two years ago)

ha ha Temple of Room

That's brilliant! I thank my subconscious mind. :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 23 January 2004 21:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Mine never gets dirty and yet a; it is quite deep, b; I am a minging fucker, c; I have a hairy belly, and d; I have a fat belly also.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Friday, 23 January 2004 21:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I guess it's cos my spunk generally lands in there, so whn god's with me I clean it with a tissue most nights.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Friday, 23 January 2004 21:59 (twenty-two years ago)

yyou're always lying on your back? cos either wise you've got the kind of aim a marksman would be proud of.

― paulhw (paulhw), Friday, 23 January 2004 22:14 (twenty-two years ago)

i know a girl who had surgery on her bellybotton when she was 7 or 8 because her mother found outtie bellybuttons unsightly/repulsive and wanted no daughter of HERS to have one. so it was transformed to an innie via the miracle of science.

― j c (j c), Friday, 23 January 2004 22:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I often fall asleep, paulhw.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Friday, 23 January 2004 22:41 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread has taken navelgazing to a horrible new low.

― sym (shmuel), Saturday, 24 January 2004 03:12 (twenty-two years ago)

i´m real glad i shared my worries with you guys. how else would that touching high school tale have seen the light of day? as for a cotton wool bud, yeah i´ll give that a go. i dont find this subject particularly gross btw a little weird maybe but hey, thats what ILX is for! but then i never find things gross that other people do. like toenail clippings. what the fuck is wrong with toenail clippings? its not like theyre full of er...cholera or some shit.

― ambrose (ambrose), Saturday, 24 January 2004 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

The Japanese have those cool bellybutton covers.

― LiquidTide (LiquidTide), Saturday, 24 January 2004 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

re: dollar coin...eisenhower, anthony, or Sacagawea?

― teeny (teeny), Sunday, 25 January 2004 00:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Dollar coin: Canadian Loonie.

C or D: trimming toenails with your teeth?

― sucka (sucka), Sunday, 25 January 2004 02:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Remember that Adentures of Pete and Pete when little Pete gets an eraser of Eisenhower stuck in his nose? Was it Eisnenhower?

― LiquidTide (LiquidTide), Sunday, 25 January 2004 03:06 (twenty-two years ago)

fourteen years pass...

why do we still have to skip over tedious adam bruneau-related snags in every thread? years and years of bullshit. come on people, let's clean house and get this dumb barnacle 51d.

― you bet, nancy (map), Wednesday, 30 May 2018 03:13 (eight years ago)

― A is for (Aimless), Wednesday, 30 May 2018 03:17 (eight years ago)

+1 fp... of map

― A is for (Aimless), Wednesday, 30 May 2018 03:18 (eight years ago)

whatever bitch

― you bet, nancy (map), Wednesday, 30 May 2018 03:30 (eight years ago)

My daughter will stroll up to me, pull up my t shirt, and root around in my bellybutton with her index finger hoping to procure a giant lint prize. If she finds one, she'll study it for a second and then place it in her own naval. My wife and I have tried telling her to stop this behavior because it vaguely squicks us out, but she dngaf.

― how's life, Wednesday, 30 May 2018 10:29 (eight years ago)

lol map

― Poisoned by Johan's pea soup. (Tom D.), Wednesday, 30 May 2018 12:32 (eight years ago)

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