Having a gay man as your best friend: classic or dud

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I love gay men. They're just great! Me and my gay pal hang out together, go shoe shopping together, and when I have "man trouble" he kind of acts as my own personal Voice Of Reason! We cry, we laugh, then he sings me show tunes and suddenly everything's all right again!

― Macy, Tuesday, 27 January 2004 11:04 (twenty-two years ago)

You are Grace..

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 11:07 (twenty-two years ago)

or you are c-man.

(are we allowed to mention him on other threads again?)

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 11:08 (twenty-two years ago)

We can, but it's very, very boring.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 11:11 (twenty-two years ago)

*yawn*

http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/imagedump/4088.jpg

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 11:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Fag hags, classic or dud?

― too butch for my biceps, Tuesday, 27 January 2004 11:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I love gay men. They're just great!

is this a joke? my best male friend is gay. i can't really think of any advantages/disadvantages that go with that.

― Slump Man (Slump Man), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 11:18 (twenty-two years ago)

it makes you look totally tolerant chic

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 11:43 (twenty-two years ago)

i wonder if it's the same as a bloke having a lesbian as his best friend - the sounds like the greatest thing ever.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 11:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Only if they fuck in front of you.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 11:55 (twenty-two years ago)

this is the most ridiculous thread i've ever seen...
might as well be called "isn't having friends a good thing"!
personally, i couldn't care less about my friends' sexuality, the fact that i like them is a bit more important.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 12:40 (twenty-two years ago)

i think that's the point! it's yet another 'joke' thread! c-man perhaps, although if it isn't I'll apologise, I pwomise!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 12:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Gay men in real life aren't as funny as gay men on the television.

Why?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 12:45 (twenty-two years ago)

it doesn't seem like that much of a joke.

speaking of lesbian friends, when i left my house this morning i could hear my Spanish housemate talking to her friend in the bathroom, while the shower was running. Interesting. Or not.

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 12:45 (twenty-two years ago)

DOm they're also not as fucking annoying (continuing our season on sweeping generalisations)

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 12:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Read the paragraph at the top stevem, you're telling me that isn't in keeping with a tradition?

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 12:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Although it's interesting that the current spate of gay men in movies and sitcom are so often hyper-stereotyped as the 'single woman's best friend' and this is seen as progress in gay visibility although it's sort of sexual Uncle Tom.

― Jonathan Z. (Joanthan Z.), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 12:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Which even even more depressingly is usually coupled with a total desexualising of the gay man.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 12:54 (twenty-two years ago)

they gay men in Will & Grace and SITC never seem to put their money where their mouths are, as it were (i.e. it's their straight female pals having all the sex because that's acceptable)

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 12:56 (twenty-two years ago)

The gay men in S&TC do, I think.

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 12:57 (twenty-two years ago)

The guy in Six Feet Under gets a lot of sex... although he's very tokenistic since all his plot lines are about coming to terms with his gayness.

― Jonathan Z. (Joanthan Z.), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 12:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Exactly. Will is practically a eunuch.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 13:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Six Feet Under breaks some ground in that respect - David and Keith the cop are pretty good characters and the show focusses on other aspects of their lives (e.g. the time Keith shot someone for the first person) sometimes.

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 13:01 (twenty-two years ago)

person = time

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 13:02 (twenty-two years ago)

The gay men in S&TC do, I think.

-- Enrique

Yeah, throughout the duration of the show Stanford gets loads and also finishes up with a proper committed relationship.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 13:05 (twenty-two years ago)

buffy TVS was innovative in that way too. after the intiial introductory lesbianism plotline Willow and Tara were treated just like a regular straight couple plotwise.

xpost

― Slump Man (Slump Man), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 13:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I think it still feels a little big legitimately transgressive about a male having a gay male for a best friend and likewise with two females... for whatever reason. I'm not sayin' it should be, I'm just sayin' it seems to be.

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 13:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I've only seen the first series of Six Feet Under and yes it does break some ground, but David is still very much the 'token gay' who has to bear the burden of the inner and outer gay struggle. That might be a reflection of what it was like to be gay 20 or 30 years ago, but the gay men I know are not really angsting about their gay identity.

― Jonathan Z. (Joanthan Z.), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 13:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah but Tara was pretty studiedly inoffensive and "oh hey you could think she was straight" type shit, yeah innovative, Tv really matters blah blah

― Silly Sailor (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 13:12 (twenty-two years ago)

yes but he gets ordained as a Minister and is a devout Christian, watch the other series for more exploration of the inevitable conflicts in this and other areas

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 13:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Thank you Stevem I was about to say

― Silly Sailor (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 13:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Geez David's one of the two central characters, that's kind of untoken

― Silly Sailor (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 13:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe token is the wrong word, I meant he was a character defined by his gayness, his plot lines are all about him dealing with being gay, etc., although from what I understand here that changes a little in the series I haven't seen.

― Jonathan Z. (Joanthan Z.), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 14:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah but most of the Nate plotlines I remember deal w/him/his girlfs, most of Ruth's deal w/her/her boyfs, such is life

― Silly Sailor (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 14:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm a series or so behind too, sadly

― Silly Sailor (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 14:13 (twenty-two years ago)

um, where do Mr Garrison & Mr Slave fit into all this?

("Jeethuth Chrith!")

― Huggy Dork (Kingfish), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 14:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I think they need to get more explicitly sexual before they count for anything

― Silly Sailor (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 14:19 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread should be "Having a gay man as your sexual partner, but not being one yourself: classic denial, or dreamy dud?"

― Huck Everlasting (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 14:48 (twenty-two years ago)

So now programmes that portray gay people as conventional are being slated? Seems it's hard to find a middle ground that doesn't attract criticism.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 18:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I once, way back now, classed a gay fella as one of my best mates. We've long since lost contact. I asked him to judge my looks when I he officially "came out".

― C-Man (C-Man), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 18:24 (twenty-two years ago)

when I he officially
"came out".

Exqueeze me?

― Huck Everlasting (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 18:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Soz, meant "he".

― C-Man (C-Man), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Calz in Freudian Slip Gay shockah!

― Huck Everlasting (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 18:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I would not want to be best friends with anyone whose sexual orientation was the major feature of their personality.

― Cathy (Cathy), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 18:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm down, I mean, like, some of my best friends are best friends of gays.

Seriously, Cathy OTM

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 20:19 (twenty-two years ago)

this thread has a weird crossover with the "telling folks of your relationship status" one:

"Hi, this is my best friend Bill. He has THE GAY."

― Huggy Dork (Kingfish), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 21:41 (twenty-two years ago)

C'lum is probaby the best example here of a straight guy whose sexual orientation was the major feature of his personality.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 22:58 (twenty-two years ago)

A man so comfortable in his heterosexuality he has to point it out every five minutes.

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 11:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought you said "get" instead of "point" for a second.

― Sam (chirombo), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 11:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought you said "come" instead of "point it" and "of the closet" instead of " " for a second.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 12:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought you'd come instead of pointing it at the err where am I?

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 13:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Indians pitching prospect apologizes for acting in gay porn video

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 14:00 (twenty-two years ago)

apologies for the quality of his acting?

― Huck Everlasting (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 14:18 (twenty-two years ago)

four years pass...

we're really good

― Surmounter, Thursday, 7 August 2008 14:34 (seventeen years ago)

My best friends are straight males, so the question should be reversed.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 7 August 2008 14:35 (seventeen years ago)

Yeah, I was about to say "dud" for all the obvious complications.

― Eric H., Thursday, 7 August 2008 14:42 (seventeen years ago)

In my experience the gay men who have a female best friend don't know many straight males, which fascinates me.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 7 August 2008 14:44 (seventeen years ago)

it fascinates me that i don't know straight men, who i'm friends with.

― Surmounter, Thursday, 7 August 2008 14:45 (seventeen years ago)

i feel it's a shame :/

― Surmounter, Thursday, 7 August 2008 14:47 (seventeen years ago)

in the Biblical sense?

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 7 August 2008 14:47 (seventeen years ago)

Demographic breakdown of my truly good friends.

Straight women
Straight men
Gay men
Lesbians
Bisexual women
Bisexual men

― Eric H., Thursday, 7 August 2008 14:48 (seventeen years ago)

there's a pretty big gap between the third and fourth, tho

― Eric H., Thursday, 7 August 2008 14:48 (seventeen years ago)

I'd offer Surmounter but I feel I may have already filled my quota of gay friends. :P

― Upt0eleven, Thursday, 7 August 2008 14:49 (seventeen years ago)

haha i'm crushed! maybe one day we can be acquaintances at least :)

― Surmounter, Thursday, 7 August 2008 14:55 (seventeen years ago)

hilarious 1st post

― and what, Thursday, 7 August 2008 14:57 (seventeen years ago)

eric h's demographic breakdown is pretty much the same as mine.

― lex pretend, Thursday, 7 August 2008 15:02 (seventeen years ago)

basically while i'm sure having a gay best friend is classic for my friends, it prob doesn't suit me

― lex pretend, Thursday, 7 August 2008 15:03 (seventeen years ago)

who the hell has 'best friends' though

― lex pretend, Thursday, 7 August 2008 15:03 (seventeen years ago)

Insofar as I've a couple of guys whose company I enjoy and look forward to more than anyone else's, I have best friends.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 7 August 2008 15:05 (seventeen years ago)

who the hell has 'best friends' though

Quite a few people.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 7 August 2008 15:06 (seventeen years ago)

My demographic breakdown is pretty much the same as the world's population.

― Eric H., Thursday, 7 August 2008 15:07 (seventeen years ago)

there are certain friends i'm closer to but the terminology seems a bit weird and reductive, that's all

― lex pretend, Thursday, 7 August 2008 15:08 (seventeen years ago)

I have people who I've known are my "best friends," but I sort of balk when they call me that.

― Eric H., Thursday, 7 August 2008 15:09 (seventeen years ago)

some people are just better at being your friends, but it's not like a pecking order

― elmo argonaut, Thursday, 7 August 2008 15:12 (seventeen years ago)

Hierarchy is a good thing!

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 7 August 2008 15:14 (seventeen years ago)

I have an ILX hierarchy.

― Eric H., Thursday, 7 August 2008 15:14 (seventeen years ago)

Having an ilx0r as your best friend: classic or dud?

― Eric H., Thursday, 7 August 2008 15:15 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.jfsowa.com/figs/bigtop.gif

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 7 August 2008 15:15 (seventeen years ago)

Having a dog as your best friend C/D?

― Eazy, Thursday, 7 August 2008 15:16 (seventeen years ago)

C eazzzzy

― Surmounter, Thursday, 7 August 2008 15:19 (seventeen years ago)

three weeks pass...

I feel like that graph gives credibility to my feeling that the world revolves around me.

― I know, right?, Thursday, 28 August 2008 21:32 (seventeen years ago)

I think how I would ponder this question is 'deliberately befriending someone who serves as an enabler for you to watch Margaret Cho DVDs while you eat an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's: C/D'

― Abbott, Friday, 29 August 2008 01:55 (seventeen years ago)

You are the T in question?

― Casuistry, Friday, 29 August 2008 03:05 (seventeen years ago)

yes

― I know, right?, Friday, 29 August 2008 03:12 (seventeen years ago)

Maybe.

Have you seen the medieval TO maps? Maybe that's you too.

― Casuistry, Friday, 29 August 2008 03:28 (seventeen years ago)

TO map.

― Casuistry, Friday, 29 August 2008 03:29 (seventeen years ago)

If my memory serves me (which it mostly doesn't) I think I actually did that once with my former lol goth phase roommate (only it was some Breyers {xpost to Abbott})

― RabiesAngentleman, Friday, 29 August 2008 03:32 (seventeen years ago)

Xpost, yes that is also me

― I know, right?, Friday, 29 August 2008 11:02 (seventeen years ago)

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