This is the thread where, in a computer language of our choice, we re-enact a scene from cinema or theatre.

BORDER 1: PAPER 1 : CLS

[warning: contains spoilers]

#!/usr/bin/perl -w
foreach $ship (@fleet)
{	s/crew/corpses/;
	print "Aargh!\n";
}

nb, not only is this the most tasteless post I've ever made, it's not funny. nb non-joke works with The Girl With The Pearl Necklace ( (c)J Ross) and other films

class Yoda() {
    public static Yoda() {
         makespeech();
         kickass();
    }
    public void makespeech() {
         fear();
    }
    void fear() {
         System.out.print("Fear leads to ");
         anger();
    }
    void anger() {
         System.out.print("Anger\n Anger leads to ");
         hate();
    }
    void hate() {
         System.out.print("Hate\n Hate leads to ");
         suffering();
    }
    void suffering() {
         System.out.println("suffering");
    }
    void kickasS() {
         takeoutlightsabre();
         jumpaboutmanically();
    }
}

void main()
{
cout << "Yes.";
sleep 10000;
cout << "No.";
sleep 10000;
}

Sorry, its a little bit basic.

static count as integer

select note
case "do"
return "a deer, a female deer"
case "re"
return "a drop of golden sun"
case "mi"
return "a name I call myself"
case "fa"
return "a long long way to run"
case "so"
return "a needle pulling thread"
case "la"
return "a note to follow so"
case "ti"

count = count + 1
if count < 2 then
return "a thing with jam and bread, and that brings us back to do oh oh oh do," + soundofmusic("do")
else
return "a thing with jam and bread, and that brings us back to do, do re mi fa so la ti do so do"

end select
end function

select note
case "dough"
return "the stuff I buy beer with"
case "ray"
return "the guy that sells me beer"
case "me"
return "the guy who drinks the beer"
case "far"
return "a long way to get beer"
case "so"
return "I'll have another beer"
case "la"
return "la la la la la beer"
case "tea"
return "no thanks I'll have a beer"
case "that will bring us back to"
return="D'Oh"end select
end function

wakeup("5:59");
learnpiano();
iceskate();
savecatfromtree();
learnsecrets();
savelives();
playjeopardy();

}

and imdb throws up this:
Where Pigeons Go to Die (1990)(TV)
which is 80% code already.

#!/usr/bin/perl

foreach $dayofmonth (1 .. 31) {
chomp;
chomp;
chomp;
}

70 goto 60
60 goto 50
50 goto 40
40 goto 30
30 goto 20
20 goto 10
10 kill a man

do
newwindow = openURL("http://babelfish.altavista.com")
newwindow.sendkey "translate to engrish"
msgbox "hahahahhaha japanese fools"
loop until (EndOfWeek)

kissgirl

end sub

if (willreturn) then
print "i'll be back"
elseif (attitude) then
print "eat me"
elseif (peopleneedconvincing > 0) then
print "trust me"
elseif (abouttoblowyoutoshit) then
print "hasta la vista, baby"
elseif (True) then
print "no problemo"
end if

loop until (isNull(T1000))

sendtomoltenmetal Me