Jesus Juice

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...is what Michael Jackson allegedly calls wine re:molestation. Obviously this phrase must enter the general lexicon POSTHASTE! Doesn't matter what context.

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Friday, 30 January 2004 06:13 (twenty-two years ago)

There can be only one band to compose a jingle for it:

http://www.emf-theband.com/jesusjones/sitegraphics/top03.gif

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 January 2004 06:16 (twenty-two years ago)

right here RIGHT NOW mofo

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Friday, 30 January 2004 06:18 (twenty-two years ago)

They can't be too busy these days.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 January 2004 06:20 (twenty-two years ago)

but these guys already wrote: "I'll bring the bottle/You bring the glasses/So you can see what I hit you with..."

― hstencil, Friday, 30 January 2004 06:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Michael Jackson plied children with Coke cans full of "Jesus juice" (for white wine) and "Jesus blood" (for red)

I guess by "juice" he means "pee".

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 30 January 2004 06:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Christ on a Crust, who would EVER reach the depths of such abject lack of self-awareness as to belong to a Jesus Jones tribute band?!?!?!?! The mind reels!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 30 January 2004 06:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, is that what that is? I mistook them for the real deal.

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 30 January 2004 06:28 (twenty-two years ago)

that one dude looks EXACTLY like Mike Edwards!

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Friday, 30 January 2004 06:30 (twenty-two years ago)

huh, I thought that was them too. No surprise I don't remember what they look like.

― hstencil, Friday, 30 January 2004 06:31 (twenty-two years ago)

belonging to a jesus jones tribute band = YOU DESERVE THE CRUELEST, MOST HUMILIATING RIDICULE THAT A HUMAN BEING CAN DEVISE.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 30 January 2004 06:33 (twenty-two years ago)

The best is how that image comes up on Google before any legitimate Jesus Jones ones do.

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 30 January 2004 06:36 (twenty-two years ago)

belonging to a jesus jones tribute band = YOU DESERVE THE CRUELEST, MOST HUMILIATING RIDICULE THAT A HUMAN BEING CAN DEVISE.

Wouldn't having to look in the mirror in the moring and find a way to live with your wretched self be punishment enough?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 30 January 2004 06:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Before the googlers go apeshit, I think it's worth noting that Donna is referring to Michael Jackson the noted wine expert, not Michael Jackson the maker of Thriller and other fine pop music (and loads of queasy sandal). Also, as a Minneapolis native I must note that there is in fact a DJ in that city who calls himself Jesus Juice.

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 30 January 2004 06:49 (twenty-two years ago)

he's been around for a decade-plus. real name's Tim, nice guy.

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 30 January 2004 06:50 (twenty-two years ago)

thanks for covering, but I fear the unthinkable is true

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Friday, 30 January 2004 06:51 (twenty-two years ago)

ps isn't Michael Jackson the Beer Hunter?

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Friday, 30 January 2004 06:51 (twenty-two years ago)

TS: jesus-juice vs. beetle juice

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 30 January 2004 06:52 (twenty-two years ago)

beetlejuice's website

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 30 January 2004 06:53 (twenty-two years ago)

a picture of beetlejuice:

http://www.jollydwarf.com/Web_Images/gallery/Girls/girl21.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 30 January 2004 06:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I am now officially terrified.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 30 January 2004 06:55 (twenty-two years ago)

jesus jones tribute bands, bad puns on michael jackson, and a shameless oft-drunk african-american midget = THE NADIR OF AMERICAN CULTURE.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 30 January 2004 06:56 (twenty-two years ago)

ahem, well at least someone on this thread, namely me, tried to take the high road.

― hstencil, Friday, 30 January 2004 06:58 (twenty-two years ago)

The high road is a lonely place, Stence.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 30 January 2004 06:58 (twenty-two years ago)

How's the view from up there?

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 30 January 2004 06:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I can see David Yow's, er, kitty.

― hstencil, Friday, 30 January 2004 06:59 (twenty-two years ago)

fuck, I think it is the beer guy. oh well

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 30 January 2004 07:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Um guys? That IS Jesus Jones.

http://emf-theband.com/jesusjones.shtml

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 30 January 2004 07:01 (twenty-two years ago)

ooooooooh, snap

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Friday, 30 January 2004 07:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Does it or does it not say TRIBUTE TO... over the pic, though?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 30 January 2004 07:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh wait, you're right...the site is a tribute.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 30 January 2004 07:07 (twenty-two years ago)

For the record: Oh, is that what that is? I mistook them for the real deal.

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 30 January 2004 07:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Mind you thanks to that site I now know Zac Foley is dead which I had no idea about :/

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 30 January 2004 07:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh boo. How boring. I was hoping there really were people who zealously cling the memory of Jesus Jizz enough to form a tribute band....to keep the music alive, man!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 30 January 2004 07:08 (twenty-two years ago)

there is no place they'd rather be

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 30 January 2004 07:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Let's make fun of EMF now.

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 30 January 2004 07:10 (twenty-two years ago)

haha emf!!

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 30 January 2004 07:47 (twenty-two years ago)

will that do?

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 30 January 2004 07:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't wait till BOY hats and baggy tie-dyed hoodies come back.

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 30 January 2004 09:31 (twenty-two years ago)

i used to work with the lead singer of emf's dad you know. nice chap.

WHAT JESUS JONES ARE DOING NOW!!!!!

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Friday, 30 January 2004 11:18 (twenty-two years ago)

sanctimonious lefties, unrealistic expectations and Bush's best friend = THE NADER OF AMERICAN CULTURE

― omg, Friday, 30 January 2004 12:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I can only imagine what michael calls his jizz. the thriller filler?

― Chris V (Chris V), Friday, 30 January 2004 13:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Buddha's Bubbly Bourguignon

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Friday, 30 January 2004 13:47 (twenty-two years ago)

heres a little human nature in your eye.

― Chris V (Chris V), Friday, 30 January 2004 13:52 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread has achieved new realms of newness.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 January 2004 14:13 (twenty-two years ago)

heres a little human nature in your eye

Man oh man!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 30 January 2004 14:41 (twenty-two years ago)

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 30 January 2004 22:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I never would have expected how hated Jesus Jones would become so many years afterwards. I would have expected just being forgotten, not forgotten and hated..

Doubt hasn't dated very well -- minus a few songs, but I was very much into them at the time. I can't deny this.

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 30 January 2004 22:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Give it a try.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Friday, 30 January 2004 22:20 (twenty-two years ago)

This story - abt Jesus Juice etc. - was on the front page of The Sun newspaper today

― Andrew L (Andrew L), Friday, 30 January 2004 22:21 (twenty-two years ago)

oh, i don't hate jesus jones ... i just find it INCREDIBLY SILLY that there are people out there who would form a JESUS JONES TRIBUTE BAND. like they're the beatles or something. that's why i said that they deserve to be mocked mercilessly and cruelly.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 30 January 2004 22:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh man, here we go again.

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 30 January 2004 22:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Give it a try.

I too was very much into them at the time and they put on one of the best live shows I've ever seen back in March 1991 or so at UCLA. Crowd was totally into it, band was on fire, etc. So there ya go.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 January 2004 22:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Their first album (with the blender on the cover) was alright, but then it all went horribly south. Moreover, why would you waste time listening to Jesus Jones when you could listen to the entirely superior Pop Will Eat Itself?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 30 January 2004 22:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm sorry, but I always found Mike Edwards and his whiney voice beyond annoying. It's like they were the Spongebob Squarepants of bands.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Friday, 30 January 2004 22:56 (twenty-two years ago)

In fact, this thread has got me thinking about them again and I am still surprised to the extent I get worked up over how annoying they are/were.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:00 (twenty-two years ago)

INFO!!! FREAKO!!! THERE IS NO END TO WHAT I WANNA KNOW!!!!!

Come on, how can you hate them? That could be, like ILX's motto!

― International Bright Young Kate (kate), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes it could. But not in a good way.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I would so dig out my Jesus Jones videotape right now, but I just stuck the box in the attic. Ah well.

― The River Kate (kate), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Too bad it's right there, right now.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:14 (twenty-two years ago)

No, Alex! They had loads of videos. It was on a compilation videotape with, erm, Ride's Today Forever EP and other stuff... but there were half a dozen JJ videos. I used to enjoy watching the bassist's hair flopping about.

― The River Kate (kate), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:15 (twenty-two years ago)

(that was a joke, Kate, read it again. Carefully).

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:15 (twenty-two years ago)

(But not in a sexual way, mind you. Mike Edwards looked like a grebbo mouse.)

(Now, Ride, on the other hand... hubba hubba!)

x-post, what? Confused now. Brain friend by thinking of Mark Gardener rolling about in the snow. Mmmmmmmm...

― The River Kate (kate), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, thinking about Ride will help chase the nastiness of Jesus Jones away...

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Uuuuhhhhh... ohmigod, there was tons of stuff on that tape. Ride, My Bloody Valentine, Primal Scream... hang on, I might just have to dig it out of the attic again. I think HSA has an all-regions VCR... maybe I should take it home with me!

― The River Kate (kate), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Kate, have you seen Mark Gardener recently? More specifically the bleached tufts of ex-hair? (Not to deride the balding man in general of course, but Mr. Gardener try to hide his genetic fate very very very badly)

(and for the record, if my pattern was in tufts, I wouldn't bleach it, so no smart ass back comments from you kids... or else I'll spank you all with a knife)

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Is it a big knife? A big dirty one?

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Woo, wrong thread.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, I have seen Mark Gardener recently, don't remind me about the fattness and the baldness. Also, he has been touring with my creepy annoying asshole ex-boyfriend which makes me even more cross at him.

― The River Kate (kate), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Luna brings this thread to a pervy cul de sac. the question is, how long do we hang out, and where's the bar?

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:25 (twenty-two years ago)

But what about his Phat-ness? I'm still waiting for Anticon or whoever to start looping "Drive Blind" in his next masterpiece, no doubt.

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Luna brings this thread to a pervy cul de sac.

Mama always said 'play to your strengths.'

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:27 (twenty-two years ago)

(Meanwhile, it's a thread about Wacko Jacko using wine to play hide and seek with mr. penis with kids, and *I* made it pervy?)

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:28 (twenty-two years ago)

(Actually, he looked quite the opposite of "fatt" when I saw him do his solo set opening for Pinback... Peter Murphy wants his cheekbones really badly, let's put it that way.... )

(god, I should really stop posting)

(Meanwhile, it's a thread about Wacko Jacko using wine to play hide and seek with mr. penis with kids, and *I* made it pervy?)

Ur, no.. see above what Matos and Donna said.

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Moreover, why would you waste time listening to Jesus
Jones when you could listen to the entirely superior Pop Will Eat Itself?

Now see, I was a fan of PWEI *first*. And I still liked Jesus Jones. ;-)

And Ride were awesome as well! I embrace them cusp-of-the-nineties days!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Your back is balding, DB? How is that a bad thing? (xpost)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh ruin my fun.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Granted, I haven't seen Mr. Gardener in about 3 years or so (cause every time he's toured lately, there's been that yucky ex-boyfriend problem) but when I saw him, definitely chubbing out. Still had the glitter in his eye, though. ::trembles with a sigh::

― The River Kate (kate), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:31 (twenty-two years ago)

"hide and seek with mr. penis"

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:32 (twenty-two years ago)

It's sad, Dan, but true. This is what happens when your life revolves around heavy use of these products. DON'T LET IT HAPPEN TO YOU!

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't make me drag out The Book Of Ride and start posting various particularly slashy bits!

― The River Kate (kate), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Mark, 20, is a guitar player with a difference. Even Alan is surprised, and he's used to real men.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Bwah hah hah, no, that wasn't it, but keep going.

― The River Kate (kate), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Was there ever a Creation band version of Smash Hits! magazine?

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha, I think I already answered my own question. sorry.

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Well done, sir.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't make me drag out The Book Of Ride and start posting various particularly slashy bits!

Please please do it! I need something good and trashy to read if I have to be stuck here for another hour and a half.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:39 (twenty-two years ago)

You don't remember Select Magazine, DB?

― The River Kate (kate), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Or Melody Maker 1990-91 essentially. More Steve Gullick photos of dreamy boys falling over speaker stacks with hair obscuring half their face please < / EarlyGazeKate >

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:40 (twenty-two years ago)

PWEI rocked my face off in 1989 or so. Oh grebo I think I love you....

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:58 (twenty-two years ago)

They were awesome!

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Saturday, 31 January 2004 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Now see, I was a fan of PWEI *first*.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), January 30th, 2004.

No, Ned. I was first.

― martin m. (mushrush), Saturday, 31 January 2004 01:33 (twenty-two years ago)

PWEI is seriously one of the great lost bands. I remember thinking at the time that their mid-90s stuff was really poor, but last year I rediscovered "Ich Bin Ein Auslander" and OH MY GOD!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 31 January 2004 01:35 (twenty-two years ago)

No, Ned. I was first.

Bastard! (And no I'm not jealous of Donna NOT AT ALL.)

I am STILL in agonies over missing what by all accounts was a monstrously good show of theirs in early 1991 for Cure for Sanity. I didn't get a chance to see them until 1995 but happily they did indeed put on a hell of a show.

(I note that no UK ILXor has apparently ever had a good thing to say about them. Although some do love Carter, which I recall El Diablo finds somewhat inadequate.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 31 January 2004 03:00 (twenty-two years ago)

at least Clint Mansell's soundtrack for "Pi" staved off the tide of longing, at least for a minute, sigh

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Saturday, 31 January 2004 03:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll stick up my hand and admit to being a PWEI fan from the UK. Didn't see them live until around the time of Dos Dedos Mes Amigos, but they were a huge favourite chez ailsa throughout my student years (along with Carter and Jesus Jones).

― ailsa (ailsa), Saturday, 31 January 2004 09:57 (twenty-two years ago)

at least Clint Mansell's soundtrack for "Pi" staved off the tide of longing, at least for a minute, sigh

As it happens I am listening to the Pi soundtrack as I type. It is marvellous, particularly the Clint bits. He's done fucking well post-PWEI (they're a non now, right?). Pi, RFAD... he has a really good ear for soundtracks.

I saw PWEI in 89, they and JJ were the two first international acts I saw live. Who cares if they died in the arse since, they rocked my socks then and I wont have anyone sully my memories, thank YEW.

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 31 January 2004 11:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Hurrah for Trayce! (And Ailsa too!)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 31 January 2004 15:44 (twenty-two years ago)

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