Therapists

The study found that the 'success' rate for all the therapies was roughly the same, regardless of the theories behind them. The only variable that seemed to correlate well to success or failure of a therapy was how consistently the patient attended it. It didn't matter if it was Freudian, Jungian, Reichian, primal scream or whatnot.

The people who did the study couldn't directly account for this finding, but theorized that the main factors at work were the patient's belief in the methodology and the fact that their problems were getting a lot of attention and support directed toward their solution. IOW, by spending an hour or three every week doing therapy on a particular problem, patients tended to focus more energy on finding a way to solve their problems and feel more positive about their ability to solve them.

My conclusion is that you could probably get the same effect more cheaply by bending the ears of all your sympathetic friends and keeping a journal to log your progress. Of course, you could easily just exasperate your friends with your troubles and drive them away, unless you reciprocate in kind.

so in other words, Aimless's third paragraph is OTM.

p.s. - that said, i've never found therapy to be particularly helpful!

I'd guess that the majority of people who go to therapists for some reason feel they can't be open with their friends (in general or about a particular problem), sympathetic or otherwise, or that they're not comfortable with it. What would a therapist really have to offer someone who discusses his/her life & worries in detail with friends & family all the time?

I have indeed spent many an hour talking to a licensed therapist and it did do enough good to justify the time and expense. The fact that this particular therapist was highly intelligent, wise and sympathetic helped to establish the sort of trust necessary to make the whole deal work out well. I have also spent a much lesser amount of time talking to dull clods of therapists who did me no good at all and could only help those people who might fit their unimaginative cookie-cutter notions.

Strongly agree that a lot depends on the therapist as well as the patient. It needs to be someone the patient can trust and respect. It sounds arrogant but I think the therapist needs to be at least as smart as the patient.

I don't think it is ever appropriate to use your friends as free therapists. You don't get your friends to check your teeth, or liver, or prescribe medication for free - why would you ask them to do something more strenuous, with more responsibility involved?

Therapy helped me a whole lot. Individual therapy less so - group therapy is all-action, v. uncomfortable, lots-of-growth. Please do not kill yourself. I am also a regular poster with a different name, though this email address is valid. write me if you wanna talk.

I think the element of trust is really important, plus the ineffable personal connection between therapist and patient. I've met with plenty of therapists who were perfectly capable practitioners but who just never really clicked with me. Having moved around a lot in the past few years, this has made it difficult for me to find a therapist, since I like to meet with someone for a few weeks to see how it goes. I've often wondered what makes for a good therapist, or more accurately I guess a good therapist-patient relationship. There needs to be a foundation of trust, a feeling that this person really wants to help me. Of course, this has to stop short of the kind of personal investment a friend or family member has in how you're feeling. It's a balance. Too often, though, the therapists I've encountered err too much on the side of distance.
A favorite illustration of mine: I'm fifteen, getting bullied at school, my parents have recently gotten divorced, I'm being forced to see seeing a therapist (Dr A). I tell Dr A I'm being bullied and what the kids at school are doing to me. He says, "Those bastards." Years later, I'm in college, seeing Dr B. I tell him about being bullied in high school, he says, "That must have been very hard for you." There's a subtle but, I think, important difference there. I much prefer something closer to Dr A's personal gut reaction (which, granted, he may have perceived as a teenager's need for sympathetic identification, but still). I still meet with Dr A when I'm back in the area.

1) he laughed at my jokes

2) he liked Leonard Cohen

He didn't last, though. That's really not enough to build a doctor-patient relationship on.

1-800-SUICIDE is a nation-wide 24-hour hotline that can give you referrals in your area. The quality of counselors on the line vary considerably, as you might expect, but I've talked to some very good people there. I'd recommend it.

I have read many times that Cognitive Behavioural Therapy seems to be the most effective therapy for most people and problems. Both therapists I've been to and other professionals I know are quite dismissive of it for some reason. I like it myself.

Regular,

Most countries have a 24-hr phone counselling service, Australia has Lifeline and England has the samaritans. I often have to help people who are suicidal in a crisis situation (over the phone). When I help someone who is feeling that they can't cope one of the most important thing is to get them to reach out and tell a good friend or family member how they are feeling. Think of someone you trust who won't be dismissive of your feelings. Most people ( as we've seen on here) are excellent in a crisis situation and they will hear you out and give you the strength to cope until your apointment. I would definately recommend ringing a 24-hr service.

Objectivity for one. Professional ability to deal with serious problems for another. If my friends/family were capable of helping me deal with my life I probably wouldn't have had more therapists than I have had lovers.

I've been seeing therapists off and on (mostly on) since I was 13. Out of the approximately 25 I've seen, three I have felt a connection with and felt actually helped me. I haven't been in a year and would really, really like to go. Unfortunately due to the very problems that I need to see one for I've blown off two appts in as many weeks with new ones and don't believe my insurance will authorize anymore visits for me. :(