Your Lame Inheritance

When I am pissed off at the world, I try to remind myself that by most measures I am more fortunate than at least 98% of the human race.

Er...right. Ah, Martin, this may not be the time and place, but, well, we're among friends. Your mother and I have come to an understanding, and I'm to get everything. I'll leave it to you to break the news to Nigel and Fortuna.

Obviously I hope it doesn't come up, but presumably it will some day.

I consider myself very lucky. I'm my mother's sole heir and I know that I will be left more than what she was ever able to be left with from her parents, i.e. just enough to cover the costs of the funerals. Thoughts of my mother passing on disturb me, though, and I doubt I'll be ready to cope with it until at least twenty years from now, if not later than that.

She now claims that she intends to leave me with the rocks, and nothing else. Seeing as how that's what I wanted.

My bro and his wife knew better than to make me responsilbe for their kids in case of accident.

My grandmother's estate is supposed to be evenly divided between my mother and her two brothers, but since they're both worthless greedy fucks I envision that degenerating into lawsuits and hatred with my section of the family just staying out of it altogether. They're already worried because I've talked to my grandmother about selling her house and using that money to set herself up in a nice retirement community (and thus they ain't getting anything). Fuck 'em all.

If my parents die, I get a bunch of power tools (my brother wouldn't want them), two cats, a dog who doesn't like me, half their disturbingly large gun collection and an assload of bills.

Kind of similarly I've thought about the huge medical bills that people leave their spouses when they die of some long illness. Would the best thing to do if one finds out one has a terminal illness be divorcing one's spouse so that they wouldn't get stuck with all one's bills afterwards? Would that even work?

My mother's family is a different story. They're a lot more sensible. I didn't have to fight and pout and hold my breath to be made executor of my mother's will and I'm surprised because that's usually the level of maturity when dealing with my family. (She knows that my brother is mad and probably wouldn't be bothered with doing it, while I would.) I don't actually give a shit about the money, I just want to prove once and for all that my mum actually does love me, too. (Even though I know that she loves my brother more.)

x

My grandfather has like 10 acres of land in Oklahoma that's part of a big cotton field. I think he still gets a check from the cotton crop each year. Now that I think about it, my life is EXACTLY like the lyrics to "Roll in My Sweet Baby's Arms"!!

My family gets all twisted up about inheritance. Mum and Dad are battling with my maternal grandmother to get her to let go of some of her money now so there's less inheritance tax. "You can't take it with you!" is Mum's favourite refrain. The ridiculous thing is that all my grandparents were v. working class and never had much money at all, but they were also v. frugal and now they have more than they know what to do with. I think they've come from a generation that doesn't know how to treat themselves - whereas I enjoy splashing out on a nice hand cream or bubble bath, it's nothing but Coal Tar Soap all the way for them. And I find that kind of sad.

I don't expect to see any of it as my step-brother seems quite intent to burn through as much as possible while she's alive and b/c well. . .she's not my grandmother.

I expect it will, however, mean that my mom and step-dad won't have to worry for a thing in their old age which, given my mother's hellacious life pre-current husband, is a wonderful thing.

I refuse to think about my parents' estate settlement because they're going to live forever, at least my mom is. And she plans on being carried out of her house feet-first so that house isn't going anywhere anytime soon (and it + the land make up the bulk of their assets at this point).

My parents are going to have all of their own affairs highly documented and tied up with a bow because they are planning on living.

My grandfathers have had no such plan, both live on their own in houses, and have made my parents' lives (and that of my uncles') a mess. My paternal grandfather is constantly calling my dad with important problems, all of which are halfway incoherent. He said something about not being able to get his car (!!) out of the driveway last week and it was amazingly important my dad figure it out. My maternal grandfather lives in the middle of nowhere on a farm in what would be a total house of squalor if my mom didn't go out and take his laundry and clean some things up.

So basically my grandfathers are living and using up their money. If there's anything left, I have a lot of cousins who are broke who can have it. My parents are reasonably well-off and not quite retired yet, but have plans to move into a smaller apartment/retirement area around age 70/75 and into assisted living as necessary. I hope they use their money to have the nicest experience possible and have a sweet retirement.

Oh yeah, my mom is also increasingly scared she's going to have alzheimer's as her mom was undiagnosed but completely a different person in her last years.

Think I would theoretically get a quarter of a house in the middle of nowhere but there is no way I'm gonna outlive my mum.

LOL inheritance. Uh, some debts, I assume. Other than that, nada. I don't come from a long line of people with wealth. And my grandparents' house is about to be sold to pay for whatever care remains for my Alzheimer's-ridden grandmother.

My parents have a house with some equity, no retirement savings, a healthy chunk of debt and a ton of crap to be sold. Also a corgi, three cats, two bearded dragons, a Russian tortoise and an iguana or something similar (it's green).

there's absolutely nothing on my side of the family - best case scenario would be my parents' house to sell, but it would be split between 4 siblings, and i think it'll probably be sold long before they die to fund nursing-home care.

ytth's grandmother left us a big chunk of money, as did his recently-passed aunt, which has funded some serious furniture buying and art-framing, and also a trip to europe in a few months. his dad has planned for all the kids to receive a very large inheritance, but that is contingent on there not being another major recession before he dies. plus he will probably live to at least 100, which i wouldn't have any other way, since he is the best FIL ever.

Received a decent inheritance of mutual funds that my grandmother bought for me. It was enough for me to put a down-payment on my very small house. She wasn't rich. Just very fiscally conservative. Lived in a very small house in a very small town and invested a lot of her money.

From my parents, I'll inherit about 50 acres of woodland/farmland in rural NC, a house, and some cars/motorcycles. All of which I will immediately get rid of, because who the hell wants all that shit. Honestly, it's all going to be much more of a pain to deal with than it will be worth whatever money I can get out of it.

― Jeff, Thursday, March 27, 2014 10:06 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

dude hang on to that property in NC, you might want that! the cars and motorcycles i understand but even for your own personal retreat some open land in rural NC might be worth something to you someday, not even talking about about money

seriously! 50 acres of woodland would be the most amazing thing to me, would pretty pretty much drop everything and go live like a sage

Woods are overrated, but I guess I'd be reluctant to unload something that could never be replaced--one could never afford 50 acres anywhere now, pretty much? Not anywhere you'd want to be, ie not desert or otherwise uninhabitable.

xpost
yep, i was thinking the same thing. or if it really appeals to you to get some money from it now, maybe consider selling part of the land but still keeping a good chunk for yourself. my dream is to one day pay off all of my loans and retreat to the wilderness and do strange things in the woods. having even 5 acres set aside for that would be a dream come true!

derail, of course, but woods are NOT overrated! woods are amazing. woods are where the sense of hearing begins to dominate over the sense of sight

By the time I receive an inheritance from my remaining parent I will be in my early 60s (my mom is 89 now). My financial situation is very stable already, so whatever I get will only serve to buttress that stability. My habits of frugality are so set by now that it will end up in a savings account and make the number on the bank statement a bit bigger than it was before.

When my wife inherited about a decade ago, we were able to retire the $42,000 balance on our mortgage, which was an enormous help at the time.

Haha Jeff and I spent our separate childhoods bored shitless in the middle of woods/farmland/nowhere so I mean never say never, but it's hard to imagine wanting to go back to that life.

I know a bunch of you are going to be all like "SOUNDS PERFECT" but there now that the last dial up provider stopped providing dial up, you can't even get internet there.

xp yea i just can't even get with the phrase "woods are overated" in any way whatsoever

which is why it could be a retreat! xp

i grew up in the middle of nowhere too (although we had the internet, once the internet became a thing). i was pretty much ok with it! i like the city too, though, of course. but ideally i would love to have easy access to both the city AND the middle of nowhere.

but yea i get you carl and jeff. i didn't grew up with woods and open space on that scale in my life, so it always has a strong pull for me.

There's a difference between woods and hilly uneven scrublands with garbage on it. Jeff's family might have nice, pristine forests but it could really suck.

Like the times I've been out to the "timber" region of my grandfather's property and it's crappy trees, poison ivy, and a bunch of rusted out machinery and household appliances that country folk threw in a ditch.

look the only way we're going to find out is if i go ahead and borrow those acres and check it out. will report back soon!

i want to see what zs would do w/ a lot of land

start with a good old fashioned cartwheel competition, followed by construction of the Log Roll Corridor

I'm from the country. It's boring there. Even as an adolescent I was aware from books that some people thought the woods were really great but I myself did not see the appeal no matter how many times I sat in a tree and thought about it.

eh, scrubland is just woodland waiting to happen. garbage can go fuck itself though

FWIW, I would just sell the land to my uncle or other family member who would just continue to use it as primarily farm land. So technically I could go back there and hang out or whatever. But honestly, I spent 20+ years there and hate almost everything about the whole area. I don't even like to visit. CityLyfe4EVA. I suppose parts of it would be considered nice, but a lot of it is just piles of garbage, which was just dumped in the woods or another hiding place for the meth labs that seem to pop up all the time.

I suppose I could take over the local meth market.

I like nature (I haven't been camping in a million years but I used to go regularly and miss it, and I love the beach), but I like being able to walk to the store and my local pub even better. Sitting in the middle of a tree farm and having to drive 30 minutes to the nearest Super Walmart for milk is just misery.

But if we did keep the land, I'd have a Punkin' Chunkin' contest on it.

Or be Jeff's meth moll.

wood-fired artisanal meth cook

Or be Jeff's meth moll.

― carl agatha, Thursday, March 27, 2014 6:06 PM (57 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

THE POWER BEHIND THE THRONE.

i got the idealistic appeal of a piece of woodland to call your own but i also grew up in the countryside and there's nothing to redeem the reality of crushing boredom

I thought carl was on the throne xp

lex, you grew up in the countryside? that is a piece of the puzzle that makes a lot of sense! I definitely get a few more of your ideas now.

Until two years ago, I'd never inherited anything beyond a few pieces of furniture. I unknowningly had long been included in the will of a fairly distant in-law. She'd decided to invest a good portion of her savings around the mid-'90s in stocks of three companies she liked .... and one of them was Apple. As a fluke of certain people dying in a certain order, or not having kids or heirs, I was next in line for a small percentage of what by now was a $2+ million estate mostly from her Apple shares, which still amounted to a serious windfall for me. I feel rather guilty that there are relatives I travelled out of the country to see whenever I could and got nothing from them when they passed away, and yet someone who left me a small fortune I hadn't even talked to for the last 15 years of her life and never knew well. As I mentioned, it could have easily been almost nothing given any of several twists of fate.

It's so strange how the whole inheritance process works, especially for those who don't leave a will. Whether they or their heirs do or don't have kids, get married, or get divorced; and in what order those events occur, and of course when they die, completely determines what you'll wind up with.

xp not quite entirely in the countryside. in the city til 9, in the countryside til 17. the other way round to how i'd have enjoyed it*

*i wouldn't have enjoyed the countryside as a small child actually, i always hated mud

also countryside people and people who are not white etc etc etc

same here. I was in a city neighborhood until I was 14, then lived five miles away from town until I went off to college. I felt pretty disconnected.

I did continue going to the same set of schools, though, so I had that.

Grew up in the countryside. Lex is OTM about the alienating effect of no brown faces anywhere but I am more suited to the peace and quiet and the boredom of life in the sticks. I mean I moved to London for University and loathed practically every second. Couldn't wait to escape back home! Would never want to live in a city again.

these days it'd also be countryside people and people who are not str8

it's basically an "i dislike everything about the countryside and the countryside dislikes everything about me" situation

i grew up in a suburb 10 minutes outside a fairly large midwestern US city and i was the only latino kid in my grade at school

besides a filipino friend i was even the only kid with black hair!!! so i don't always see proximity to a city as entailing diversity

and somehow i feel like being different might feel even more stifling in the burbs as opposed to the country where you have more space around you

the middle school I went to always had a large latino population, but I believe it's now over 50%.

Look at this beautiful land. How could I ever be bored here? http://goo.gl/maps/sbMt7

if someone offered me that land i would take it in a second

100% inheritance tax now

scenario 1 : my parents. they came into loads of money back in the day. spent the fucking lot in the pub, on cars, holidays etc.
once the money dried up, they continued with that lifestyle, and so have now been through a few (yes a few), bankruptcies, leaving many people (me included) out of pocket.
needless to say, they're now are destitute and at the mercy of the benefit system, and have been for many years now given that they have avoided a proper job ever since they got into financial trouble, but hey, at least there wont be any inheritance problems.

scenario 2 : me and bh. worked, lived carefully. built up a nest egg for a rainy day/pensioner days. unfortunately bh died.
i got a decent payout due to her work groove that i have put aside.

so, if it were to be a 100% tax upon my death, then surely the best option would be for me to do as my parents did and piss it all away as opposed to using it for the kids college etc, as i may die next week.

summary : 100% tax = fuck the future, spend it now, and then end up at the mercy of the benefit system until you die.

of course, i like the idea of scenario 1, but i very much doubt bh would approve of such selfish extravagance.

xpost
i do declare that there is land behind that land

lol Jeff