the nick & jessica variety hour

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best thing ever or what?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 12 April 2004 00:20 (twenty-two years ago)

what?

― Ajanthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 12 April 2004 00:23 (twenty-two years ago)

it is a variety hour starring nick lachey and jessica simpson.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 12 April 2004 00:24 (twenty-two years ago)

no I was answering your question. The answer is what.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 12 April 2004 00:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Damn. I am going to miss this. It sounds pleasantly retarded.

T/S: Dogville vs. This Bullshit

― dean! (deangulberry), Monday, 12 April 2004 00:25 (twenty-two years ago)

oh shit did I miss it??

― roger adultery (roger adultery), Monday, 12 April 2004 00:26 (twenty-two years ago)

ah fuck i missed the first half! Hope they repeat it (already, with the Muppets, seems more than worthy of an 'encore presentation') - So far, so very very good.

I just realized that Nick Lachey's name is pronounced just like 'neglige'

― roger adultery (roger adultery), Monday, 12 April 2004 00:42 (twenty-two years ago)

holy, crap, they're doing it. They're actually singing "I Got You Babe"

― roger adultery (roger adultery), Monday, 12 April 2004 00:55 (twenty-two years ago)

this was the best thing i have ever seen

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 12 April 2004 01:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I am 'incent'sed that I have missed this

― jeska, Monday, 12 April 2004 01:13 (twenty-two years ago)

incent? wha?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 12 April 2004 01:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I watched a few seconds of it and got caught in a vortex of wonderment about whether Nick and Jessica were aware of the shittiness of what they were doing or not.

― NA (Nick A.), Monday, 12 April 2004 01:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Also a vortex of fear of her bosom.

― NA (Nick A.), Monday, 12 April 2004 01:40 (twenty-two years ago)

the whattiness?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 12 April 2004 01:40 (twenty-two years ago)

i am amazed kenny rogers had time to do this show, and mr t too, top notch booking.

― keith m (keithmcl), Monday, 12 April 2004 01:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm watching the show imagining Nick having to explain every joke to Jessica in between takes, and that alone makes it funny for me.

And yeah, I don't think Nick doubts for a minute that it's crap, but it really wasn't billed as anything other than crap. And it's still better than the Brady Bunch variety hour or the one where the kid from Sigmund & the Sea Monsters tried to be a singing (pre?)teen idol.

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 12 April 2004 01:43 (twenty-two years ago)

It would be better without the singing, though.

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 12 April 2004 01:44 (twenty-two years ago)

And can we get them to pass a law requiring celebrity couples to host a variety hour within X months of their marriage? (X such that it excuses many overnight marriages etc. but low enough that people still remember who both of them are; Kyra Sedgwick I am looking at you!) The 9th circuit is pretty open to new, groundbreaking legislation.

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 12 April 2004 01:47 (twenty-two years ago)

kill.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 12 April 2004 01:49 (twenty-two years ago)

variety hours rule and this show rules and i thought they did it in the funnest way possible and i liked it and that's it.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 12 April 2004 01:50 (twenty-two years ago)

They can rule when it's a one-off like this, but if it were a weekly event they may as well call it Watch Us Jump Sharks On Sundays.

(It's definitely fun, though.)

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 12 April 2004 01:54 (twenty-two years ago)

i hope next week they do a tales of the gold monkey skit.

― keith m (keithmcl), Monday, 12 April 2004 01:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I think this is the first time I've knowingly heard Nick Lachey sing. He's way better than his wife. He should totally do American Idol, I'd probably vote for him.

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 12 April 2004 01:56 (twenty-two years ago)

she's got pipes tho! whew!

i was really really happy about the whole islands in the stream thing, i've been really obsessed with that song lately!

and i thought the comedy stuff was pretty funny!

they really did the '70s-variety-show-thing pretty straight, which was such a good move (the form already has such a built-in winkiness that any attempt to nudge the audience even more would be totally lame)

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 12 April 2004 01:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Complete with Muppets. Sold!

I was actually impressed by Jessica's singing (but what's up with those facial expressions?). I like her even more now than when I realized she looks just like a young Vanna White. Yowza.

― roger adultery (roger adultery), Monday, 12 April 2004 02:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Exactly (to the last sentence, specifically; I didn't think the comedy was funny, especially from JS -- she sounded like someone who'd memorized it phonetically, so to speak, and imperfectly so at that). That's why I don't think it works except as a one-time thing, or maybe once a year, or whatever. But really, isn't this pretty much what we want from our celebrities anyway? Hasn't that become most of the point of the celebrity guest host on SNL, who as often as not is someone completely out of their element, someone famous for things entirely unrelated sketch comedy? Hence my celebrity-marriage-variety-subclause-requirement suggestion.

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 12 April 2004 02:02 (twenty-two years ago)

you really gotta read "live from new york," that oral history of saturday night live

(incidental point)

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 12 April 2004 02:05 (twenty-two years ago)

but yeah THE MUPPETS! my heroes!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 12 April 2004 02:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, I keep meaning to, I'll put that on the Amazon wishlist/library-reminder-list.

Also, Muppets = great. Even moreso on a variety show, of course.

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 12 April 2004 02:06 (twenty-two years ago)

jessica to nick "you smell like an insent"
nick: "do you mean incense?"

― jeska, Monday, 12 April 2004 03:11 (twenty-two years ago)

missed it!

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 12 April 2004 03:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I was pissed about this at first because I thought it pre-empted "Alias", now I realize "Alias" will just be on an hour later. So now I have no opinion on it.

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 12 April 2004 03:21 (twenty-two years ago)

OH gods, I hope they show that here. I havent watched the newlyweds crapola show of theirs bar the ads for it - I'm sure everyone asks this but is she GENUINELY that stupid or is it a put-on? I mean god, come on.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 12 April 2004 06:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Sadly, she really IS that stupid. It's ... really bizarre. Let's put it that way.

― Broheems (diamond), Monday, 12 April 2004 06:18 (twenty-two years ago)

i don't think she's stupid, just ignorant

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 12 April 2004 06:33 (twenty-two years ago)

hmmm... well to be clear: I'm not like, anti-pop-star or anything. For example I think Christina Aguilera is very intelligent. I am a big fan of hers. But Jessica ... ouch.

― Broheems (diamond), Monday, 12 April 2004 06:49 (twenty-two years ago)

god i hope this comes to new zealand.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 12 April 2004 06:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Did you see the duet Jessica sang with Jewel? She looked like she was violently choking and making fun of they way Jewel sings, all while having a seizure. Jewel should stick to what she does best--soundtracking crappy razor-commercials (intui-iition!)

Nick sang with the night rider car. I am so...I...I?

― Katrina to You, Monday, 12 April 2004 09:50 (twenty-two years ago)

i keep hearing hot hot heat and shins songs playing in the background. what next, kinski? wolf eyes?

― the surface noise (electricsound), Monday, 12 April 2004 09:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't believe that anyone chose this show over Arrested Development.

Was there a cameo by Rip Taylor?

― dave225 (Dave225), Monday, 12 April 2004 10:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Dave225 totally fucking OTM re: Arrested Development. However, it should be said that I am obsessed with that show. See my Arrested Development thread for the sordid details (hint: they aren't sordid at all).

― NA (Nick A.), Monday, 12 April 2004 11:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Did Shields and Yarnell make an appearance?

― Mime_Fan_ (lawrence kansas), Monday, 12 April 2004 11:52 (twenty-two years ago)

What about teen heart throb Willie Aames?

― dave225 (Dave225), Monday, 12 April 2004 12:27 (twenty-two years ago)

He's Bible Man now!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 12 April 2004 12:54 (twenty-two years ago)

"Jewel should stick to what she does best--"

Writing poetry!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 12 April 2004 12:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I taped Arrested Development (first time successfully using that function on the VCR!!!) because I was at my parents doing hilarious comedy bits with my brother.
I didn't see this, but now I kinda wish I had.

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Monday, 12 April 2004 13:38 (twenty-two years ago)

The real question is: Is this better than "Pink Lady & Jeff", or not?

― Baked Bean Teeth (Baked Bean Teeth), Monday, 12 April 2004 13:41 (twenty-two years ago)

better than "Pink Lady & Jeff". better than "Pink Lady & Jeff". better than "Pink Lady & Jeff". Are you listening to what you're saying? It makes no sense.

― dave225 (Dave225), Monday, 12 April 2004 13:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I was watching "Subterranean" (the crappy new version of 120 Minutes)but the Stills were so pretentious I had to change the channel. Thank Go I did, otherwise I would never have seen the Nick/Knight Rider duet. Oh, Lord!

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:17 (twenty-two years ago)

What did they sing?
Was it Wm Daniels?

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:18 (twenty-two years ago)

"Subterranean" (the crappy new version of 120 Minutes)

This scares me and I'm glad I don't know what it is.

It wasn't William Daniels :/ Is he dead?

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:29 (twenty-two years ago)

It wasn't William Daniels :/ Is he dead?

Imdb says no.

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:41 (twenty-two years ago)

one month passes...

Following the positive response to the Nick & Jessica Variety Hour, which aired on ABC last month with top ratings, the network signed Simpson and spouse for a second variety special, due to air at Christmas.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Awesome. There was a Sonny & Cher best of dvd box set commercial on tv this morning and I was thinking how sad it was that television no longer seems to have a place for tacky variety hours.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

It's especially weird given how popular reality TV shows are! Maybe whatever the core appeal of reality TV is doesn't really apply to variety shows. But I really wasn't joking, exactly, when I said I thought celebrities should be required to do a variety hour -- the 90s is an emptier place for its lack of the Don & Melanie Show.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 17:29 (twenty-two years ago)

There should be a show just called The Variety Show, with different hosts (preferably celeb couples, but presidential candidates and recent sex scandalees are acceptable) each time.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

That is a great idea.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 17:33 (twenty-two years ago)

That sounds like Saturday Night Live to me, pretty much.

― deanomgwtf!!!p%3Fmsgid%3D4581997 (deangulberry), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Except SNL hasn't been a variety show in years -- it's a skit show that revolves around the cast, shoehorning the host in as appropriate, with a separate musical guest; the "cast" on The Variety Show would be no more visible than the support players on Sonny & Cher, the Brady Hour, Nick & Jessica, etc.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

i support this idea

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 18:15 (twenty-two years ago)

one month passes...

This is rerunning on MTV right now, at least in my timezone.

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Why is Jessica Simpson singing with Jewel but in a Jewel voice?

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Man, I was thinking about posting about that. I must have missed it the first time around (I think I missed the first 15 minutes or something the first time). That was really fucking bizarre. Especially given her whole "Look, I'm singing it me-style!" thing with the Mickey Mouse Club stuff.

And it came really close to being as much a bad Cher impression as a Jewel voice.

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:31 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't actually think she has such a great voice, if her records are any indication.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:42 (twenty-one years ago)

five months pass...

The Nick and Jessica Christmas Special is on tonight at Primetime+1.

(I have given up on giving TV times because Indiana is such an anomaly. Primetime+1 = 9:00 Eastern, 8:00 Central, etc., i.e. immediately following Lost.)

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 18:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought they were separated or something?

― still bevens (bscrubbins), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 18:57 (twenty-one years ago)

The special has been under contract for months, but if they are, that would be even better! Maybe they've been waiting to get divorced on camera.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 18:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Bill, you need to lay off the Star magazine.

― I'm serious ... Ti-i-i-i-im (deangulberry), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 19:00 (twenty-one years ago)

It will be great if she snogs her dad under the mistletoe instead of Nick.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 19:10 (twenty-one years ago)

US MAGAZINE TOLD ME JESSICA = FLIRTING, NICK = HURTING

WTF DEAN

― still bevens (bscrubbins), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 19:44 (twenty-one years ago)

five months pass...

breaking news -
scores die in iraq
environment is collapsing upon itself
whales found on other side of space
jessica simpson and nick lachey call it quits

― firstworldman (firstworldman), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 21:54 (twenty-one years ago)

or maybe not? that was quick.

http://www.defamer.com/hollywood/gossip/jessica-simpson/nick-and-jessica-finally-pull-the-trigger-104847.php

― firstworldman (firstworldman), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 21:57 (twenty-one years ago)

it's a shame about those whales

― ()ops (()()ps), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...

http://www.nypost.com/photos/pg606302005g.jpg

― Leon C. (Ex Leon), Thursday, 30 June 2005 20:04 (twenty years ago)

Somebody work that into the pervy ewok gif, kthxbye.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 30 June 2005 20:05 (twenty years ago)

Speechless.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 30 June 2005 20:30 (twenty years ago)

http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/0099422468.02.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 30 June 2005 20:32 (twenty years ago)

photoshop, please

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 30 June 2005 20:33 (twenty years ago)

three months pass...

Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey,

2003-2005.

― Jimmy Mod wants you to tighten the strings on your corset (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 14:41 (twenty years ago)

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 15:56 (twenty years ago)

http://zurlocker.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/mad147id.jpg

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 15:57 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://www.gawker.com/news/Cover%20%23557.jpg

― Jimmy Mod wants you to tighten the strings on your corset (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 15:57 (twenty years ago)

I feel like US magazine willed this whole divorce into existance. There were like 50 covers in the past two years dedicated to NICK AND JESSICA TO SPLIT.

― Stuh-du-du-du-du-du-du-denka (jingleberries), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 16:00 (twenty years ago)

...Kinda like how NME is willing Pete Doherty's death.

― Stuh-du-du-du-du-du-du-denka (jingleberries), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 16:00 (twenty years ago)

D0ug Gi|f0rd is certainly proud of his collection.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 16:01 (twenty years ago)

Well, it didn't really help that Jessica was at all the parties ALONE and not wearing her wedding band. Maybe they should have kept the cameras on 24/7, it'd mean they'd probably still be together.

― nathalie, a bum like you (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 16:07 (twenty years ago)

At least we would've gotten to see them do it.

― pr00de, where's my car? (pr00de), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 16:09 (twenty years ago)

God, them having sex? Christ, I'd love to see her give him a blowjob.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/totp/secret_shots/images/20040929_jessica_simpson.jpg

― nathalie, a bum like you (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 16:12 (twenty years ago)

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