THESE ARE THE PEOPLE I WORK WITH

2. A mod guy who collects 60s psych-rock and 70s punk

3. A Harry Dean Stanton look-a-like computer programmer

4. A little asian girl who has two jobs and has another little asian girl as a "roommate"

5. Bankers

6. Me

2.Conservative, moustached ex-Coast Guard guy

3.Cranky ex-school teacher who likes to randomly approach me and rant for a little

4.Obnoxious chubby girl

5.Nice, smiley preppy guy

7.Sullen, frowny preppy guy

Everyone bar about 5 people here are boring suited sales weenies and/or whining suburban semi-yuppie gits.

1. Boss = 60-year-old woman who grins maniacally and flutters her eyelashes when delivering bad news

2. 43-year-old guy who used to be in a not-quite-famous Chicago rock band (but they're in Trouser Press and have been mentioned on ILX), tells lots of jokes, die-hard Republican, is being forced out of his job because mgmt. has never liked him

3. 26-year-old tiny Asian woman, currently applying to journalism school (she also worked with Nabisco once, several years ago)

4. 32-year-old second-generation Greek woman, former schoolteacher

5. 30-year-old guy who came out to me by saying he'd once placed a personals ad reading "Big hairy guy seeks same", does freelance illustrations for RPG manuals, very very chatty, laughs at himself often (and therefore incredibly easy target)

6. 22-year-old African-American single mom (we talk about hip-hop)

7. Me

A sampling from my hallway:

-a white woman my age with a 3 yr old, a conservative republican, part german

-an older dorky white man who after asking what music I played in class to get the kids' cooperation said "I like some rap. I like that candy, what is it, sugarhill gang?"

-the black basketball coach who writes fantasy fic and who always comes and hugs me and calls me sexy. He's married. The kids snicker when he comes by. But he's nice.

-a stodgy, bitchy, older catholic woman (black) who bores the socks off all the kids and annoys the fuck outta me

-The guy who just came from Mexico this year to teach our less than 3 months immigrants. He always has a look of fear in his eyes.

-The chiropracter turned science teacher (white) who broke his leg chasing a kid down the stairs last year. You can hear his bellowing up and down the hall.

-The football/track coach (black) who I used to go out for tequila with every friday. One of the few teachers the kids fear.

-The computer teacher (black) who's actually a teacher's aide and therefore should not legally be teaching a class by herself. She's cool though and has covered my ass many times.

So yeah, a sampling. Except for the two coachs I have nothing in common with any of these folx (and with those two it's really just the bouze and the brats). Most of them are considerably older than me (some have taught at our school longer than I've been alive). I noted the races of each one as this is pretty important at our school. Skin color is a huge factor in the amount of respect you get from kids and non-black faculty are in the minority. (so much so that we are subject to inspections from the state as we are in violation of state integration laws.)

Here's what I deal with every day:

1) an aspiring disc jockey with a speech impediment. A truly sweet guy who lives only to buy Limp Bizkit merchandise off eBay.

2) my boss: a heavy, crippled crank who I get along very well with (i'm his favorite), who's major inconsistent characteristic is that he enjoys decorating and cooking. But he looks like an aging bouncer from Alabama and yells all the time.

3) A congenial young girl who's entire life and frame of reference comes from the Fox network. When I ask her what she's doing on the weekend, she lists TV shows. He and her fiance plan to name their first son "Lucas Skywalker" - she's really nice though

4) An aspiring writer in the tradition of Elizabeth Wurzel who's always late for work. Comes from a LOT Of money but as a matter of principle refuses to accept any of it (for now) and chooses instead to work for $7 and hour.

5) An Arabic gentleman who is completely out of his goddam mind. Everyone but me seems hell bent on getting him fired because of his 'unconventional' methods. I like him fine though.

6) A former 'backyard wrestler' who listens to nothing but Testament. Recently had nose broken at Sevendust show.

7) a young Itlalina American who claims to be 'mobbed up' - also very nice though

there's many more but I'm thinking too much about work now and this is my free time and, as you can imagine, it is very precious to me

there's more but blah blah blah

i win.

-pervertalist psychedelic mini-music-mogul
-ex-60's art model w/ six kids. quotable quote: "my tits are everywhere. did i tell you about the camel sex?"
-working class trucking-company owner w/ three kids who chain smokes, says fuck a lot, and schemes about how to give her next door neighbor (and son's school principal) a heart attack.)
-hilariously stereotypically corrupt Mexican immigrant graduate student with 3 kids who is doing her best to bribe her way thru grad school in one way or another
-suburbanite 30-something w/ 4 kids who wants to be an actress now, but just can't seem to stop taking the drugs.

it's an endless loop.

i know shit about mine. we have no energy for such things. or time to discuss them.

but i am not completely positive

I'm afraid that if it was BB the fashion assistant would probably walk it, smiling. She is truly, truly beautiful (she has to tell you she's part Swedish, otherwise she just represents as a VERY TALL Japanese girl with a lovely, Bjorky voice). The Scots lass, who incidentally comes from the same village as Lynne BB, would be stabbed to death with a Manolo within the first fortnight, possibly by one of the boys assisting her. However as median age of office is basically 30, we are demographically wrong.

1. Double-hard marathon-running South African office manager. Everyone is scared of her but deep down she's on OUR SIDE.
2. Foxy German exchange student.
3. Slimy lecherous rugger-bugger type. Looks like a lizard.
4. French girl who never speaks.
5. Cool indie geek guy who likes the Fiery Furnaces and insists we play Stereolab in the office.
6. Twee Northern lass. One of my closest friends in the world and constant drinking and whingeing companion.
7. Longest serving employee of the company, including the MD. Twenty-something gay bloke with look of utter dejection about the amount of time he has been stuck here.
8. Insane rotund South African middle-aged Xtian woman.
9. Snivelling uncharasmatic socially-indept indie betwetter.
10. Big freelance film journo guy, rolls eyes in disgust whenever anything to do with the company is mentioned ever.

That was astonishingly therapeutic.

(does strongo not WFH though? are these his little friends in his head ;))

1. possibly bi-polar late 30s, short firebrand bigboss lady. family from seychelles via sarf london. she is OK to me, but tends to pick on everyone else. is in a mood today.

2. big tall mid 30's white south african direct boss. normally OK, but in a fair old mood also today.

3. late 20s east london chap of nigerian decent. alright, very quiet, oftens beat me to putting the radio on, so we have kiss rather than 6 music.

4. me

there are lots of other people, but these are the ones i share office space with.

1. 50ish older italian woman who is hilarious, but has the biggest ass i've ever seen. nice lady.

2. 45 year old nutjob woman, ex druggie, who cries constantly and reeks of tequila daily. has serious issues and is always out on "disability".

3. 30 year old woman who is out with her first child.

4. 40ish italian woman from revere. nice. one of the only two people i like in my department. we started at the same time and have been here together for 6 years.

5. 24 year old, married pain in the ass, white trash girl. she is about 5'0 and has the loudest most grating voice ever.

6. 30ish pakistani dude who loves slayer and metallica, is very forgetful. Likes music, I let him borrow cd's. PLays a few instruments.

7. 30 year old single mom (this place is a haven for single moms), also a piece of trash.

8. 50 year old jewish lady, stupid as shit. Never at her desk always travelling and roaming the hallways. I call her "Gilligan".

9. 60 year old woman. Very quiet.

10. 30 ish gay male manager. Nice guy, pretty sketchy though.

11. 50 ish gay male director, asshole boss.

12. Me

2/ er...

How do I sign up for one of those?

D'OH!!! really, this is why I go by Samantha. I have the ph34r. Oh well, won't be here for much longer anyway.

Of course, if I worked with other people, I might be more kempt.

1. guy who seems really nice on the surface, but is a complete dick when you get to know him

2. quite attractive/tall gay guy who dresses amazingly, but is really unsure of himself

3. girl who likes to fuck guy number one a lot, she is also very fake nice

4. mexican girl who is really absent-minded, but quite nice and overall a great person

5. skinny girl that i had a crush on for the longest time that i watch survivor with. i love to argue with her.

6. ultra short filipino girl who is really fun to talk to and has a lot of interesting and insightful things to say

7. ultra annoying preppy girl with blonde hair that laughs way too loudly. i fucking hate her.

8. ultra quiet indian girl who i have never spoken to.

9. kid from southern illinois who is obsessed with bob dylan. he has interesting taste in music, but he is quite bland overall

10. the RA who writes us up for being loud, we hate him.

I'm trying to reconcile these two phrases and failing.

4th floor: ex-band geeks, a law school grad, 90's garage rockers (Impala, Satan's Pilgrim's, anyone?), independent filmmaker. And me.

http://www.jabudah.net/chaki/work.jpg
scott: from colorado. loves tha rapture, def jux, trance and pennywise. works in a studio editing movies. we go to the bar alot.

http://www.jabudah.net/chaki/work1.jpg
also scott: plays guitar for everyone loves weed and is asthmatic. i knew him before we worked together. we're good friends.

http://www.jabudah.net/chaki/work2.jpg
scott 3: from the east coast then bay area now la. plays for punk band Amen. they just toured with Killing Joke. we go to the bar and make country tracks with drum machines sometimes. great guy. hot dog is just hangin around he doesnt work there.

http://www.jabudah.net/chaki/work3.jpg
thats me

http://www.jabudah.net/chaki/work4.jpg
this is the album that gets me through the day

Dear lord, man. Although the couch probably does need an exorcism.

1. me
2. my dog

hey wait a second

those are the people i work with in my "office"

but there are apparently real humans on the other end of the IM windows that comprise my company

i'm actually a slightly updated version of SmarterChild

I was wondering when you would make a return.

In my office: me, my wife, one old dog and three cats. And my daughter during holidays.

At the other end of the internet:
1. extremely generous and easygoing, but design-challenged and deadline-challenged, editor/publisher;
2. the new ad manager, who drives me apeshit by faxing me one page 20x/day instead of 20 pages 1x/day;
3. the part-time office manager lady who mainly has the job as a way of getting away from the crazy bedridden owner of the ranch she manages.

1. a 50-year old woman (the boss)
2. a 60-year old man
3. a 47-year old woman
4. a 51-year old man
5. a 55-year old man
6. another 51-year old man
7. a 42-year old man
8. a 45-year old man
9. a 45-year old woman
10. a 61-year old man
11. me (a 25-year old man)

I work with a bunch of old people.

1500 people, various ages

1. divorced baby boomer who is already hiring private college guidance counselors for her middle school aged kids
2. gay baby boomer who is shy, plays the violin and goes to the hamptons a lot
3. 30s 90 lb blonde who went to yale business school and is very classy
4. corny baby boomer who wears ugly sweaters
5. really nice 20s gay admin who bakes a lot

back office:

1. mid 40s churchgoing office assistant who calls everyone "baaaaaaby." the bosses make her deliver all the bad news cause she does it with such Deep South awesomeness.
2. hyper late 30s catering manager with two kids. she could easily pass for early 20s, i was shocked to discover she was married etc.
3. hot early 20s sales manager with freckles. looks like one of my exes. really freaked me out on the day she started.
4. mid 20s puerto rican accounts manager who used to work up front with me, but got promoted and works in back now. her phone goes out a lot and she alternately does or doesn't have a car, so she's hard to get in touch with.
5. early 30s general manager. never worked in a place this big, still learning how to do it after nearly a year. thought his gf was his daughter when i first saw her.

front desk:
1. big goatee'd late 20s dude who wants to go into the industry, so he puts up with all the bullshit despite saying every week (literally EVERY week) that "next time they do this shit i'm outta here."
2. early 20s white girl from Houston who has like 20 chopped & screwed mixtapes in her car.
3. early 20s white girl from Houston. the only person i've ever known who gets up on lil wayne mixtapes faster than me, despite all my RSS reading.
4. 20 yr old white girl from Houston. TALL, bartends at this sleazy club downtown. used to work at Hooter's with #3. they're roomates, play basketball together.
5. early 20s goth girl going to school for art. i'm gonna start scripting a Batman comic her and her bf are drawing.
6. early 20s metalhead, bf of #5. loves batman, plays in a pretty good Mexican death metal band.
7. short 18 year old who's convinced that she's gonna marry her current bf. "he hasn't asked yet or anything, but i know he will."
8. steendriver