is it a self-fufilling prophesy to be disappointed with guys?

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So I've been seeing someone recently. It's only a few weeks old. He said he would come pick me up at the airport when I arrived back home. I said he didn't have to if he didn't want to. He said he insisted, he would see me there.

We've been emailing, I haven't heard from him in a few days. So I sent him an email this morning saying 'normally I wouldn't reply without hearing from you first, but I'm leaving tonight, I guess I'll see you tomorrow?'

Just got an email from him saying he HAD replied (which i still didn't get) and that I should call him when I get back, he was working all day (he was originally taking the day off to hang out with me.

I'd discouraged him from talking about picking me up, because I didn't want to be disappointed if it didn't happen.

Self fufilling prophesy?

― boo, Sunday, 18 April 2004 23:44 (twenty-two years ago)

You just want a ride!

― Lil' Fancy Kpants (The K is Silent) (ex machina), Sunday, 18 April 2004 23:53 (twenty-two years ago)

an old an wise friend told me "They guys are like that from the begininning, you just choose not to see it".

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 19 April 2004 04:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Let's see here...

You are in a new relationship with a guy. He says he's going to do something, and it doesn't happen. A mechanical fault has occured so you don't get an email.

Do you:

1) Say "computers are shite and email is a fairly unreliable method of communication, so maybe I should rely on multiple communications formats if I need to communicate something important"

2) Say "All men are dogs and they will always disappoint me" and spend time picking apart the relationship and criticising manhood in general instead of maybe looking into a new mail server or ::gasp:: communicating by phone or in person.

― Super-Kate (kate), Monday, 19 April 2004 06:46 (twenty-two years ago)

cmon Kate, that's a bit of a leap

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 19 April 2004 06:51 (twenty-two years ago)

is it a self-fufilling prophesy to be disappointed with guys?

If something goes wrong in your relationship due a technology mishap such as email going missing (this has recently wrecked havoc in my social life!) do you blame technology, or blame the relationship?

"Communication is the problem to the answer
You've got her number and your hand is on the phone
The weather's turned and all the lines are down
The things we do for love, the things we do for love."

― Super-Kate (kate), Monday, 19 April 2004 07:01 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah i think it rests in the middle.
originally he had taken the day off to pick her up
dunno, hindsight is 20/20 it just seems to me like one of those little red flags, ways to communicating "hey you just aren't as impt as you thought you were". it could get worse--or it could be a one-time mishap but i think the eyes should be open....

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 19 April 2004 07:06 (twenty-two years ago)

did you call that guy?

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 19 April 2004 07:07 (twenty-two years ago)

You know, guys have feelings, too. Guys, too, are insecure and emotional and experience feelings of confusion and can be very neurotic early on in a relationship. If you act defensive, it's entirely possible that the guy can read that as "not interested".

If you told him "oh no, don't pick me up at the airport, oh you don't have to pick me up at the airport" etc. etc. and acted funny about it, maybe he got the impression that you didn't *want* him to pick you up.

― Super-Kate (kate), Monday, 19 April 2004 07:11 (twenty-two years ago)

eyes open. that's all.

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 19 April 2004 07:12 (twenty-two years ago)

PEOPLE (male, female, transgendered) will let you down most of the time.

― Huck, Monday, 19 April 2004 07:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Huck OTM.

― Super-Kate (kate), Monday, 19 April 2004 07:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Orbit, all I'm trying to say is, there's a difference between going into a relationship with your eyes open, and going into a relationship *expecting* it to fail.

― Super-Kate (kate), Monday, 19 April 2004 07:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Boo, if you want someone to pick you up, say so. If you don't, don't. If you never let this guy, or any guy for that matter, have the opportunity to disappoint you, you're not going to have a very intimate, trusting relationship anyway, are you? Don't give men mixed signals. We're often not clever enough to know what you mean. Why, also, should you prefer the demoralization of your own lowered expectations to the prospect of being disappointed and having to get home on your own? I would do exactly the opposite in the optimistic hope that her gran had to go to the hospital, there was an accident on the freeway, her battery died, etc... If they're going to be fuck-ups let them prove it as opposed to hoping for the worst.

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 19 April 2004 14:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Sure you shouldn't just rely on one form of communication wether it be email or text messaging. A friend of mine just had a relationship f@#k up because of this. verbal communication is U&K here.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 19 April 2004 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

The email thing sounds like it could be legit, but why make such a big deal of wanting to be at the airport to pick you up and then not do it? Regardless of whether I had another easy way to get home, if a girl I was dating insisted on picking me up at the airport, I'd be a little peeved if I found out (luckily) that she had decided she wouldn't actually be there to do so. I'd be a lot more so if I actually stood around the airport waiting for her for however long and they didn't show.

― webcrack (music=crack), Monday, 19 April 2004 14:48 (twenty-two years ago)

nineteen years pass...

Did we ever get this sorted?

― ꙮ (map), Thursday, 17 August 2023 01:18 (two years ago)

They're arguing about custody right now.

― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Thursday, 17 August 2023 01:19 (two years ago)

we did not, according to my records, get this sorted

i havent even sorted my records tbh

― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Thursday, 17 August 2023 08:11 (two years ago)

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