Famous Hotties, Mom, The Apache Indian Conundrum

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As a youth, probably on peer-conditioned reflex, I'd always be lusting after celebs Mother thought were trashy and not even that cute. They were usually too skinny and untrustworthy looking but shit happens. These days I'll be watching TV with Mom - Third Watch, say (I do this once a week or I get nightmares and anomie) - and Mom will always say something like "Now SHE'S pretty. I want you to marry a face with INTEGRITY, like her!" about firefighter Zumbrano (aka Kim Raver (Sesame Street alum)) and I'll usually agree, watching another little piece of my inner rebel die. Same shit happened with nu-Anne Hathaway and the girl that co-hosts that Vancouver Island morning show with the fat guy that got gastric bypass surgery that saved his life (I heard it was his daughter (??)).

I'm not fighting it, because over the years I've grudgingly come to realize that when it comes to mate-choosing, Mother DOES know best. But it's not very rock and roll, is it? (Dad is shit at this so I don't listen to him but you can talk about your dads.)

Which celeb crushes do you and your parents share? Does it make you feel uncomfortable and reactionary when it happens and you end up going out and having sex with a drug dealer?

― LC, Monday, 19 April 2004 12:27 (twenty-two years ago)

My mom doesn't approve of my crush on Keira Knightley because she understands the half plus seven rule.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 19 April 2004 17:49 (twenty-two years ago)

My mom that is, not Keira Knightley.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 19 April 2004 17:50 (twenty-two years ago)

http://herring.cc.gatech.edu/nearandfar/uploads/58/apache_indian-no_reservations.1.jpg
Sorry, I couldn't help myself

― Madchen (Madchen), Monday, 19 April 2004 20:46 (twenty-two years ago)

nickalicious explain

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 19 April 2004 20:48 (twenty-two years ago)

they all hate J Lo

but they love my wife-to-be more than me, easily.

I often picture a telephone call going something like this:

(ring ring)
Cop Who Drew The Short Straw: "Mrs Adultery?"
Mrs. Adultery: "Yes?"
Cop: "I'm afraid I have some terrible news. Your son was just involved in a terrible traffic accident."
Mrs. Adultery: (pause). "IS JESSICA OK???"

that's how it'd go, all right.

― roger adultery (roger adultery), Monday, 19 April 2004 21:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Half plus seven = you should only date people at least half plus seven of your age.
So Nickalicious prolly like 26?
Half of 26 plus 7 = 20.
Keira Knightley = 19.
:(

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 19 April 2004 21:22 (twenty-two years ago)

oh if there's grass on the field play ball already

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 19 April 2004 21:24 (twenty-two years ago)

The other end of that would be "you shouldn't date people older than twice your age minus fourteen," right? So I'm 28, my dating range is ... 14+7 = 21 to 56-14=42. That sounds reasonable for outside figures (I wouldn't have any idea what to do with a 21 year old. Give them something shiny and a beer and send them off to play?)

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 19 April 2004 21:25 (twenty-two years ago)

they're pretty horny, or so i hear.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 19 April 2004 21:25 (twenty-two years ago)

unless snoop dogg has lied to me.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 19 April 2004 21:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, sex is a different kettle, I was talking about dating.

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 19 April 2004 21:31 (twenty-two years ago)

So long as Ann-Margret lives, I will admit no boundaries to the sex window.

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 19 April 2004 21:32 (twenty-two years ago)

pfft. fuck dating with a ten pound sea bass.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 19 April 2004 21:32 (twenty-two years ago)

How old is the sea bass?

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 19 April 2004 21:33 (twenty-two years ago)

depends on the state, innit?

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 19 April 2004 21:34 (twenty-two years ago)

(yo tep i got yr email but then i deleted it by accident and i didnt have yr real address)

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 19 April 2004 21:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Suuure, and my phone number "accidentally" got washed off of your palm during an "impromptu golden shower," I've heard em all.

Are you suggesting that in some states, if the fish is too young, it's jailbait?

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 19 April 2004 21:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I recall a co-worker reminding himself of the phrase "old enough to bleed, old enough to breed' recently

― roger adultery (roger adultery), Monday, 19 April 2004 21:38 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, OK, so it was me

― roger adultery (roger adultery), Monday, 19 April 2004 21:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Jailbait, see.

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 19 April 2004 21:39 (twenty-two years ago)

no, it's fish bait

haha xpost goddamn you all to hell

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 19 April 2004 21:40 (twenty-two years ago)

four years pass...

― King Boiled Potato (Noodle Vague), Friday, 20 February 2009 16:09 (seventeen years ago)

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