This is the thread where you take the quotes of wise men and women...and put "fuck" in them

I think I had those for brekkie this morning!

-confucius

- wise guy

Milan Kundera

"Hey there old chap, hello there old bean. Where are the obligatory negroes?"
Mark E. Smith

I ordered this, clean wood fucking box
Square as a chair and almost too fucking heavy to lift.
I would say it was the coffin of a fucking midget
Or a square fucking baby
Were there not such a fucken great din in it.

The box is locked, it is dangerous. Fuck.
I have to fucking well live with it overnight
And I can't fucking keep away from it.
There are no windows, so I can't see wtf is in there.
There is only a pissy fucking little grid, no exit.

I put my eye to the grid.
It is dark, so fucking dark,
With that fucked swarmy feeling of African hands
Minute and shrunk for export,
Black on black, angrily fucking clambering.

How can I let them out?
It is the fucking noise that appalls me most of all,
The unintelligible fucking syllables.
It is like a fucking Roman mob,
Small, taken one by one, but ffs, together!

I lay my ear to fucked-up Latin.
I am not a fucking Caesar.
I have simply ordered a box of fucktards.
They can be fucked off back to where they came from.
They can die, I need feed them fuck-all, I am the owner.

I wonder how fucking hungry they are.
I wonder if they would forget me
If I just undid the locks and stood back and turned into a fucking tree.
There is the laburnum, its blond fucking colonnades,
And the petticoats of the stupid fucking cherry.

They might ignore me immediately, fuckers,
In my moon suit and funeral veil.
I am no fucking source of honey
So why the fuck should they turn on me?
Tomorrow I will be sweet fucking God, I will set the fuckers free.

The box is only fucking temporary ffs.

"In heaven all the interesting fucking people are missing." - Nietzsche

"...Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more; it is a tale
Told by a fucking idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."

-FDR

And when they all were seated,
A Service, like a Drum—
Kept fucking—beating—till I thought
My Mind was fucking numb—

And then I heard them lift a Box
And creak across my Soul
With those same Boots of Lead, fuck,
Then Space—began to toll,

As all the Heavens were a Bell,
And Being, a fucking Ear,
And I, and Silence, some strange Race
Wrecked, solitary, here—

And then a Plank in Reason, broke,
And I dropped down, and down—
And hit a World, at every plunge,
And Finished knowing—fuck—

"Just say fuck." -- Nancy Reagan

Gospel of Thomas 39:3

Perhaps you consider yourself a fucking oracle,
Mouthpiece of the dead, or of some god or
other.
Thirty fucking years now I have labored
To dredge the silt from your throat.
I am none the wiser.

Scaling little ladders and gluepots and pails
of fucking lysol
I crawl like an ant in the morning
Over the weedy acres of your brow
To mend the fucking immense skull plates and clear
The bald, white tumuli of your eyes.

A blue sky out of the Orestia
Arches above us. O father, all by your fucking self
You are pithy and historical as the Roman
Forum.
I open my fucking lunch on a hill of black cypress.
Your fucking fluted bones and acanthine hair are
fucking littered

In their old anarchy to the horizon-line.
It would take more than a fucking lightning-stroke
To creat such a ruin.
Nights, I squat in the cornucopia
Of your fucking left ear, out of the wind.

Counting the red stars and those of plum
color.
The sun rises under the pillar of your tongue.
My hours are fucking married to shadow.
No longer do I listen for the scrape of a keel
On the blank stones of the landing.

--The Fucking Collosus--Sylvia Fucking Eat Me Plath

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to pass the buck?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and drive off in my truck.
I have heard the mermaids singing, eat my fuc.

(Dr Seuss, Horton He's a Ho)

Teletubbies
Teletubbies
Say... hel... lo!
Fuck off

his wellbelovéd colonel(trig
westpointer most succinctly bred)
took erring Olaf soon in hand;
but--though an host of overjoyed
noncoms(first knocking on the head
him)do through icy waters roll
that helplessness which others stroke
with brushes recently employed
anent this muddy toiletbowl,
while kindred intellects evoke
allegiance per blunt instruments--
Olaf(being to all intents
a corpse and wanting any rag
upon what God unto him gave)
responds,without getting annoyed
"I will not kiss your fucking flag"

straightway the silver bird looked grave
(departing hurriedly to shave)

but--though all kinds of officers
(a yearning nation's blueeyed pride)
their passive prey did kick and curse
until for wear their clarion
voices and boots were much the worse,
and egged the firstclassprivates on
his rectum wickedly to tease
by means of skilfully applied
bayonets roasted hot with heat--
Olaf(upon what were once knees)
does almost ceaselessly repeat
"there is some shit I will not eat"

our president,being of which
assertions duly notified
threw the yellowsonofabitch
into a dungeon,where he died

Christ(of His mercy infinite)
i pray to see;and Olaf,too

preponderatingly because
unless statistics lie he was
more brave than me:more blond than you.

A is for Amy, the ho from downstairs.
B is for Basil, who's cruising for bears.
C is for Clara whose boyfriend is gay.
D is for Desmond (who made him that way).
E is for Ernest who's hung like a runt.
F is for Fanny, who's British for cunt.
G is for George, smothered under a rug.
H is for Hector and hooha and hug.
I is for Ida whose cherry was popped.
J is for James whose balls have not dropped.
K is for Kate who was fucked in the bum.
L is for Leo who swallowed some come.
M is for Maud who puts out at sea.
N is for Neville and Nookie Navy.
O is for Olive run through with an awl.
P is for Prue who hooks at the mall.
Q is for Quentin who really likes feet.
R is for Rhoda who's hungry for meat.
S is for Susan who's got some nice tits.
T is for Titus who plays with his bits.
U is for Una who sucks like a seal.
V is for Victor who's crushed under heel.
W is for Winnie who quivers at ice,
X is for Xerxes who likes that thing with the rice.
Y is for Yorick who got dug up and fucked,
Z is for Zillah who did too.

(thanks to my other half for that one, heh)

OK now I'm just being silly.

Jim Morrison: unedited

C = Fuck - Albert Einstein

"Don't dream it, fuck it."

"How many roads must a man walk down, before he's fucked?"

- julius caesar

I WANDRD LOENLY AS TEH CL0UD
THAT FL0TS ON HI OVAR FUKN VAILS & H!LLzX0r
WEN ALL @ 1CE I SOR A KR0WD
A HOAST OF G0LD4N FUKEN DAFF0D!LLZ
OMG LOL WTF
B SID TEH LAIK, B NEAF DA FUK!N TR33Z
FLU++3RZ!NG AN DANS1ING OMG IN DA FUKZN BR33Z KTHX CYA

Walter Pater

"All men must kill the thing they fuckin' love"

Oscar Wilde

"All poetry is at bottom a fuckin' criticism of life"

Matthew Arnold

"Wad some pow'r the giftie gie us, to see oor - fuckin' -selves as aithers see us"
Robbie Burns

RABBIE Burns RABBIE!!!!!!

I am a fucking moron : me

'Jesus Fucked' John 11.35

"...What fuckin' Nijinsky wrote
About Diaghilev
Is true of the normal heart;
For the error bred in the bone
Of each woman and each man
Craves what it cannot have,
Not universal love
But to be fucked alone."
W.H. Auden

"We shall go on to the end, we shall fuck in France, we shall fuck on the seas and oceans, we shall fuck with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fuck on the beaches, we shall fuck on the landing grounds, we shall fuck in the fields and in the streets, we shall fuck in the hills..."
Winston Chruchill

--George W Bush

-Dylan Thomas

--Auden