I just saw a pigeon try to get laid... and fail.

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Considering how many of the filthy buggers are around, I'm surprised I never see them having sex.

So I'm sitting on a bench watching this one pigeon dude for a while, and although my knowledge of biology is limited, I'm quite sure he was trying to get it on. Anyway, he followed a lady-pigeon around and puffed his neck out, stuck his head up high, and then did this cool thing where he spread his tail feathers out and dragged them along the ground when he did some speed-walking/dance thing. Then he did some other dance moves, at one point doing a fancy 360 move. Not bad. The subject of his affections was none too impressed, and she flew off. For a fleeting moment, I actually had some sympathy for this rodent with wings.

Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 14:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Then he tried his moves out on TWO other lady-pigeons who were together near by. Pretty bold move, I thought, going right for the threesome after rejection. He seemed like he won one of them over, and then they flew off. He kinda wandered around looking rather sullen after that.

Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Did you feed him?

Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 14:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't feed the troll pigeon!

I saw 2 sparrows at it the other day!

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 14:32 (twenty-two years ago)

No, I didn't feed him. I don't like pigeons much. I didn't have any food anyway. He seemed to be doing OK picking up stuff from the pavement.

Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 14:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Same as it ever was. Poor pigeon has a go . . . drops his head and eats things off the floor.

Johnney B (Johnney B), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 14:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Pigeon chicks are so stuck up. They act so prudish like they're better than you and make pigeon dudes go through all this song-and-dance just to talk to them. But you know what? The minute some hot robin shows up those fucking sluts are lining up around the block to suck him off, well, they would, if birds had cocks, and if oral sex with a beak wouldn't be the most painful thing ever.

But you get my point. Pigeon chicks are skanks.

yossarian, Wednesday, 21 April 2004 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

this sounds just like me last Saturday night

stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 15:01 (twenty-two years ago)

There is a really noisy Mr. and Mrs. Pidgeon pair who have convinced themselves that my neighbor's & my deck is their new love nest. EWWWWWWWWWW. (We share a deck, with a bit of a wall splitting it in two.) I keep having to go open the door to the deck to shoosh them off, then they come right back- starting from 6 AM every morning since Sunday. It's unreal. Anyone have suggestions on how to convince them to go away for good? Please?

They keep away if puppy is out there, but the deck isn't puppy's favorite place; he'd rather lounge around inside.

It's crazy, I just shooshed them away 10 minutes ago, and Mr Pidgeon just landed on the railing again. :-P

lyra (lyra), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 15:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you have a BB gun?

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 15:08 (twenty-two years ago)

glue nails and broken glass to the railing then.

dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 15:09 (twenty-two years ago)

or try one of those wodden owl things.
pigeons hate owls, right¿

dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

lyra-- get a cat!

i actually like pigeons. i think if there weren't so many of them, people would think they're really pretty, with all the cools colors and stuff...

colette (a2lette), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

OR OR OR You could put gluetraps on the rail.

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 15:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Boy's suggestion last night was also a BB Gun. Sadly, I don't have one. Pidgeons on their own, walking around on the sidewalk, I could care less. But these are, um, REALLY NOISY in their endeavors. Plus, yuck- it's my deck!!!!!

lyra (lyra), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 15:15 (twenty-two years ago)

this pigeon sounds strangely like me trying to get my wife in the sack.

Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (Chris V), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 15:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I used to raise homing pigeons. What you saw was the cock 'driving' the hen to nest. He actually wants to settle down and raise a family. He wants a committment.

She just wants to walk around an peck at fallen Corn Nuts. Very common in the pigeon world.

andy, Wednesday, 21 April 2004 15:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I saw the same failure yesterday when I was walking around town.

Surprise! It's spring, and there are too many fucking rats with wings that exist in this world. ALL HAIL SEXUALLY INEPT PIGEONS!

donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.wendyk.org/pidgeons.jpg

Mr and Mrs Pidgeon, sitting on the roof across from my deck, plotting their return....

lyra (lyra), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 15:51 (twenty-two years ago)

that's awesome - you have them under surveillance¡

dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 16:04 (twenty-two years ago)

ooooh, this will be the pigeon equivalent of the "My roommate who doesn't know that I'm still here is having anal sex in my living room, and i'm hungry but too scared to leave my room, what do I do?" thread.

donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 16:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Gear should have just fed his roommate and Trucker Hat guy aspirin.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 16:39 (twenty-two years ago)

lyra, you could always feed them alka seltzer.

Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

get in your car and drive

(I killed a pigeon yesterday...)

JaXoN (JasonD), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Bah, Alka Seltzer, that's it. Got the joke wrong!

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

man i'm such a pigeon!

Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 17:29 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.aplmusique.com/vartan/images/pigeon.jpg

Nemo (JND), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 17:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I saw some pigeons at it in the top part of a drainpipe where the guttering drains in (whatever that's called). It was quite a balancing act - I'm trying to imagine a human equivalent.

MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

How long do pigeons live? The other thread raised a big question: with so many of them, surely they are dying on a regular basis, but I rarely see 'naturally' dead (i.e. non-squished) bodies. Odd.

Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 18:18 (twenty-two years ago)

That's what the crows and cats are for.

donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 18:20 (twenty-two years ago)

crows and cats followed by maggots and (this surprised me until I saw them feasting on a mouse carcass once) wasps.

you rarely see them at the other extreme of their lives either. The babies (squabs) stay in the nest until they are fully-fledged and indistinguishable from the adults. *Usually*. I saw a squab that had fallen out of its nest once and was making its way along the platform of baker street tube station. Ppl were staring at it in disbelief coz they genuinely didn't know what it was - hardly any feathers on its head at all and big bulging eyes. What i'd imagine a baby dino to look like in fact.

MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 18:34 (twenty-two years ago)

My favorite pigeons are the Danzig and Pomeranian highflyers, which spend hours at great altitudes before coming back to the loft (pigeons lived in lofts for years before it became cool):

The Pomeranian Eye Crested Highfliers are related to the Danzig Highflyer which is similar in size, general appearance and the flying style. Today the main differences are: The Pomeranian has eye crests, the Danzig none; the shell crest of the Pomeranian should have rosettes in opposite to the Danzig; the Danzig has an ached tail whereas the Pomeranian has a small one. Finally the eye cere of the Pomeranian is red, of the Danzig light, and the head of Pomeranian is more rounded.

From old sources on these breeds it can be taken for sure that both breeds are of quite the same origin and that in former time both breeds were taken as subgroups of the same breed. Dürigen (1906) and Prütz (1885) in describing the Danzig mentioned that also sometimes birds with eye crests at one or both sides exist and that these birds at that time were called "Klappentümmler". Wolter in an article from 1936 tells us, that around 1877 his father got a couple of white eye crested highfliers which were quite equal to the later Pomeranian and that he had found a lot of Danzig at that time, possessing that trait. There are additional hints in literature that the Pomeranian was developed only by selection from the original Danzig.

As I can confirm from my own experience, several of the Pomeranian in all colorations are able to fly for some hours in great height up to becoming invisible. As is the case also for Danzig Highfliers, Pomeranians do not tumble.


andy, Wednesday, 21 April 2004 18:38 (twenty-two years ago)

And for all your "rats with wings" haterz, check out all the pigeons who have one medals for valor in wartime:

http://www.homingworld.cwc.net/warbird.htm

andy, Wednesday, 21 April 2004 18:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Lest we forget:

'TYKE' - 1263 MEPS 43 - Awarded December 1943. " For delivering a message under exceptionally difficult conditions and so contributing to the rescue of an Air Crew while serving with the RAF in The Mediterranean in June 1943

'TOMMY' - NURP 41 DHZ 56 - Awarded February 1946. "For delivering valuable messages from Holland to Lancashire under difficult conditions, while serving with the NPS in July 1942."

'WINKIE' - NEHU 40 NSI - Awarded December 1943. " For delivering a message under exceptionally difficult conditions, and so contributing to the rescue of an Air Crew while serving with the RAF in February 1942. Winkie got her name after the salt water had affected its eyes, and yet still this gallant bird made home at speed.

'WILLIAM OF ORANGE' - Awarded May 1945. "For delivering a message from the Arnhem Airborne Operation in record time for any single pigeon, while serving with the APS in September 1944." This pigeon was released at 4.30am with an important despatch and performed the unequalled feat of covering 260 miles - 135 of them over sea in 4 hours 25 minutes to its home loft. The flying speed was therefore 1740 yards per minute, nearly 60 miles per hour, showing great endurance and determination.

'WHITE VISION' - Awarded December 2nd 1943. "For delivering a message under exceptionally difficult conditions and so contributing to the rescue of an air crew while serving with the RAF in October 1943." A flying-boat had to ditch off the Hebrides at 8.20 one morning. Sea-rescue operations were hindered by very bad weather and air search was impossible because of thick mist. At 5pm that afternoon White Vision arrived at the loft with a message giving the position of the ditched aircraft and as a result the search was resumed, the aircraft sighted and rescue of the crew effected. White Vision had flown 60 miles over heavy seas against a head wind of 25 miles per hour with visibility only a hundred yards at the place of release and three hundred yards at the place of arrival.

andy, Wednesday, 21 April 2004 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

He is one cool pigeon:
http://www.vvinyl.com/dvds/danzig/danzig.jpg

Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 19:38 (twenty-two years ago)

A couple weeks ago I saw a pair of drakes (male ducks) trying to double-team a duck (she was fighting them). On a church's lawn.

j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 20:38 (twenty-two years ago)

i once saw a bear in the woods on a scout camping trip eating apples. he then projectile vomited what could only be described as liquid fire about two yards.

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 21:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I think the pidgeons didn't like having their photo posted on the web, they haven't been around recently. If they try returning at 6 AM, I shall attempt to scare them away with the digital camera again.

lyra (lyra), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 22:02 (twenty-two years ago)

if it dont work youre gonna have to service that bird yourself.

dave tremaine (dave t), Thursday, 22 April 2004 03:45 (twenty-two years ago)

A pigeon is a girl who be walking by...
My rimmed up blue red loose Spark wit five
Her feet hurt so you know she wanna ride
But she frontin like she cant say hi
what?

(uh oohhh) Yall chicks aint gettin nada
(uh oohhh) Ya pussy aint worth the ramada
(uh oohhh) Anyway ya friend looks hotta
(uh oohhh) Game is something we got a lot of..

(uh oohhh)
I dont want no pigeons dem be dem girls who
Gets no dubz from me.
Playing the bar dumb broke
With her best friends coat
Trying to holla at me

Sym (shmuel), Thursday, 22 April 2004 04:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I feel I should apologize for posting that

Sym (shmuel), Thursday, 22 April 2004 04:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Ghost Dog to thread

Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Thursday, 22 April 2004 04:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Ever seen butterflies do it? They just put their rear ends together. I saw two of them on a tree outside my house once.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 22 April 2004 04:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I should apologize for the Danzig poster. I am truly sorry.

Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Thursday, 22 April 2004 08:28 (twenty-two years ago)


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