Guys who think the bartender girl has the hots for him: C/D?

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Many girls who work as bartenders know that if they're a little friendly and flirtacious, the tips rise exponentially. But what about the dipshit guys who fall for it: "Man, she is ON to me! Did you see the way she laughed at my joke! Man, she likes fucking Megadeth too! Hot!"

(Likewise, I was once went to a stripclub bachelor party thing with a bunch of computer programmer nerd guys who were all convinced the strippers wanted to get with them: "Man, I think she really likes me!" Of course she "likes" you, you're putting five dollar bills in her G-string.)

― andy, Wednesday, 21 April 2004 17:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Classic until they reach stalker level or a nasty jealousy stage.

― Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

If you haven't crushed on a coffee-shop girl, there is something wrong with your brain.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 17:27 (twenty-two years ago)

This reminds me of the time when Butters fell in love with the girl from Raisins.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 17:28 (twenty-two years ago)

But Butters is a man of love:

http://homepage.tinet.ie/~donnaweb/coatsofarms/butters.gif

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 17:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Wait, all those girls who served me 'til I was legless didn't actually like my jokes?

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 17:43 (twenty-two years ago)

don't think I've ever made *this* mistake. BUT chatted up a girl who was sitting at the bar at uni once. she looked bored and I felt sorry for her. Turned out she was the barman's girlfriend!

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 18:40 (twenty-two years ago)

b-but it does happen!

― g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

When it still existed, Grosvenor Café waitresses were the best...

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 18:49 (twenty-two years ago)

One of my friends fell in love with a stripper once. It was a beautiful thing, largely because the next day when we were sober we got to do extraordinarily nasty imitations of him going "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SHE LOVES MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE NOT YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 19:35 (twenty-two years ago)

as geoff points out, it does happen, which can produce a "the stripper who cried wolf" situation.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 19:38 (twenty-two years ago)

What I hate is, right, I used to get really drunk and run out of money, then flirt with bartenders to get free alcohol, and if it succeeded, I would just wind up terribly ill. Really, flirting with someone who sells something that makes you sick is too idiotic.

― . (...), Thursday, 22 April 2004 05:23 (twenty-two years ago)

not so much dud as indescribably sad. (see also: waitresses.)

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Thursday, 22 April 2004 07:22 (twenty-two years ago)

HAHA one of my best friends used to be a waitress at the Grosvenor Café!!

Ally C has tried to convince me that it still exists.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 22 April 2004 07:55 (twenty-two years ago)

When it still existed, Grosvenor Café waitresses were the best...

It doesn't exist anymore?!??!!? Where do West Enders go to alleviate their hangovers of a Sunday morning then?

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 22 April 2004 09:52 (twenty-two years ago)

hmm it seems to work for the guys in my local.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 22 April 2004 11:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Having been a bartender girl (and in the UK, so no tips for Anna), it is possible that sometimes she is flirting with you. Think about it, you're stuck at work, no ILx oppertunity, you're bored, so you flirt with the customers. Not that you'd ever do anything, but it passes the time.

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 22 April 2004 11:29 (twenty-two years ago)

What if they lean over the bar and kiss you on the cheek? This happened to a friend of mine.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 22 April 2004 11:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm convinced this happened to me yesterday in the Cheshire Cheese on Fleet Street - one barmaid was actually much closer to me but the other one (chubby, Australian) nudged her and went "I'll deal with this one" and then proceeded to be really chatty and smiley and bubbly with me. I felt all happy and warm inside and as a result bought far too many rounds for people as an excuse to keep going back to the bar.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 22 April 2004 11:42 (twenty-two years ago)

The Ayingerbrau trap!

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 22 April 2004 11:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Cheshire Cheese on Fleet Street

lol stop making stuff up. "I was chillin at Chuck E Cheese in Chinatown, chompin' chicken!!!"

Similar to Matt's but mine went on for about four months with a cocktail waitress - she said hi by sneaking up and massaging the small of your back with a deft, tiny, cold hand, she took 20min breaks to sit and smoke with you, that kind of thing - and when she got fired I had a really, really bad night. Next to her all bar girls are animal, forever.

― LC, Thursday, 22 April 2004 11:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, I can vouch for the Cheshire Cheese - rebuilt 1666. And the aussie barmaid too. Dunno when she was rebuilt but she is very chatty.

― Tom Ledger (ledge), Thursday, 22 April 2004 12:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Get your hands off my woman, motherfucker.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 22 April 2004 12:09 (twenty-two years ago)

"One bomb bitch can get a nigga freaky enough to fuck they armpits."

― LC, Thursday, 22 April 2004 12:13 (twenty-two years ago)

The aussie barmaid at The Cheese took a shine to Michael Jones when we were there last week.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 22 April 2004 12:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Quite the filthy slattern, she is. I feel crushed.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 22 April 2004 12:15 (twenty-two years ago)

when I tried to go to the Cheshire Cheese it was closed. Bah.

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 22 April 2004 12:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Probably because she was in there PLEASURING ALL THE CUSTOMERS! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 22 April 2004 12:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't be foolish, Matt. A couple of our girlfriends sat it out.

― LC, Thursday, 22 April 2004 12:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Many girls who work as bartenders know that if they're a little friendly and flirtacious, the tips rise exponentially

"the tips"

i know a girl who has pulled a bartender boy before, but never known a boy who has pulled a bartender girl. has anyone on this bitch managed it? by pull i mean at least a snog (is that "first base"?)

fyi i think that girl got a homerun

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 22 April 2004 12:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I meant...
Every ILX Thread Ever

― dave225 (Dave225), Thursday, 22 April 2004 12:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Huh? Wrong thread....

― dave225 (Dave225), Thursday, 22 April 2004 12:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I have!!

I was served by a girl in a bar and then the following night when I was out the following night she came up to me and introduced herself to me a the girl who served me last night. She then used the line "I don't mean this as a come on or anything but would you like to come back to mine for a drink"

― Davel (Davel), Thursday, 22 April 2004 12:34 (twenty-two years ago)

There's a pub near me which seems to have a hiring policy of doe eyed indie girls only. It is a bad idea for me to go there.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 22 April 2004 12:50 (twenty-two years ago)

My best friend gave a barmaid my phone number after I'd remarked a couple of times to her that the barmaid was cute and smiley. The number passing happened while I was getting my jacket. She never called.

― Barima (Barima), Thursday, 22 April 2004 12:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Much more annoying than this is guys who think the women who work behind the counters at banks have the hots for them, and talk flirtatiously w/them at great length, when there's a big queue THAT YOU'RE STANDING IN AND IT'S A HOT DAY fux0rz.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 22 April 2004 12:53 (twenty-two years ago)

How much interest are they getting?

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 22 April 2004 12:55 (twenty-two years ago)

At the pub recently I'd bought a drink and had my hand out waiting for change, and the barmaid cupped her left hand under my hand, supporting it, and then slowly stroked the change into my palm with her other hand. It felt incredibly intimate, and made the hair stand up on the back of my neck. This happened both times I went to the bar.

This was at the Hen and Chickens opposite Highbury and Islington tube by the way, if anyone wants to ruin my illusion and point out she does it to everybody.

― Bidfurd, Thursday, 22 April 2004 13:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll test it on my way home from work

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 22 April 2004 13:11 (twenty-two years ago)

This is such a funny thread. Boys are such chumps.

I thought all the bar staff in the Cheshire Cheese were Australian.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 22 April 2004 13:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I love how the majority of musicians in bands playing venues said bartenders work at think they're musicianliness makes them exempt from the false niceness of female bartenders, no matter how pasty-faced or nerdish.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 22 April 2004 13:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I used to regularly fall in love with the coterie of beautiful girls who gained employment at the Golden Heart opposite Spitalfields. Seedy men would sit at the bar and talk to them. I wouldn't.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 22 April 2004 13:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I've had a fair share of romps with my local barmaids, not as many as some of the other regulars have tho.

this is more because its a local pub and everyone knows each other fairly well, i wouldnt try and score with a stranger barmaid as thats just crazy drunken laddish behaviour.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 22 April 2004 13:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Where do you live, Rompy Ste?

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 22 April 2004 13:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I used to regularly fall in love with the coterie of beautiful girls who gained employment at the Golden Heart opposite Spitalfields. Seedy men would sit at the bar and talk to them.

No, you would sit at the bar and gawp at them

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 22 April 2004 13:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, I never sat at the bar at all. It was more furtive glances from my seat.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 22 April 2004 13:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Basically, I hate myself.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 22 April 2004 13:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Furtive glances from your eyes might have had better results

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 22 April 2004 13:32 (twenty-two years ago)

The Glasshouse Stores upstairs has an astonishing array of seedy old men who will sit at the bar and chat up the barmaids. I'm sure the guy with the strange Viking hair would kill them if they tried anything, though.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 22 April 2004 13:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Nick, I'm in Warrington nr Manchester. But don't think for a minute that you can come up here and steal our bar girls!

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 22 April 2004 13:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 64 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

"the sodom and gomorrah"

― amateur!st (amateurist), Friday, 23 April 2004 07:31 (twenty-two years ago)

A friend of mine had slept with every barmaid who ever worked at our old local, before it changed hands, over the past five years or so. He said it wasn't deliberate, just coincidence.

(it does include a couple of people he'd slept with before they started working there, to tell the truth)

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 23 April 2004 08:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Was your friend the landlord, by any chance?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 23 April 2004 08:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Oddly enough, no. Although one of the barmaids he went out with is now the landlady of our current local pub.

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 23 April 2004 08:53 (twenty-two years ago)

what is this "stroking change" thing?

― gareth (gareth), Friday, 23 April 2004 09:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Gareth, you don't need it.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 23 April 2004 09:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Different strokes for different blerks.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Friday, 23 April 2004 10:06 (twenty-two years ago)

sometimes they actually do though and then they knee you in the crotch and suddenly you're in a "thing"

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 23 April 2004 10:20 (twenty-two years ago)

seven months pass...

A barmaid gave me her phone number last night! Came over and put it on the table as she was collecting glasses.

This has never happened to me before, but its very exciting. She supports the restoration of the Ayingerbrau fat man. I think I'm going to call her.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Saturday, 27 November 2004 17:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Which pub?

― Dave B (daveb), Saturday, 27 November 2004 22:53 (twenty-one years ago)

ive fallen for it. im an idiot.

― DVD (dickvandyke), Sunday, 28 November 2004 21:02 (twenty-one years ago)

six years pass...

I have one. It's so delusional. Dud, but entertaining.

― thirdalternative, Thursday, 12 May 2011 18:29 (fifteen years ago)

By "one" I mean I have a bartender crush.

― thirdalternative, Thursday, 12 May 2011 18:31 (fifteen years ago)

Started a thread on ILTMI related to this.

― more horses after the main event (Eazy), Thursday, 12 May 2011 18:39 (fifteen years ago)

This is reminding me of the bottle shop boi crush I had at the start of the year which I am now very embarrased about.

― The man who mistook his life for a FAP (Trayce), Friday, 13 May 2011 00:21 (fifteen years ago)

Can be a complete dud if you're the female bartender and something like this happens (c&p'd) from another thread: Like you know what was awesome? That time when I was bartending and escorted a regular who was wasted to the point of puking home at which point he locked me in his house and demanded I take off my clothes and fuck him. NOT OK.

― \(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Friday, 13 May 2011 00:34 (fifteen years ago)

Oh god! :(

― The man who mistook his life for a FAP (Trayce), Friday, 13 May 2011 01:01 (fifteen years ago)

A barmaid gave me her phone number last night! Came over and put it on the table as she was collecting glasses.
This has never happened to me before, but its very exciting. She supports the restoration of the Ayingerbrau fat man. I think I'm going to call her.
― Matt DC (Matt DC), Sunday, 28 November 2004 04:54 (6 years ago)

Followup needed.

― "I like to wear tops that show my cleavage and show off my ladies," (sic), Friday, 13 May 2011 01:04 (fifteen years ago)

I was really drunk in Nottingham once at some bar/club and thought I was totally in with a shot at the bar girl. Minus The Bear are playing on stage. Bad, drunk, sloppy flirting ensued. She was sweet enough not to tell me to fuck off. Eventually after a few songs the band stop and tell me it isn't going to fucking happen and to shut up so they can get on with their set.

― owenf, Friday, 13 May 2011 12:09 (fifteen years ago)

We don't have the hots for any of you. We are entertainers. If we didn't possess some sort of charismatically persuasive abilities we would not have the job. If you ever see a "boring" bartender he/she is most likely a friend or relative of the owner.

― Hugs on Weed (AaronHz), Friday, 13 May 2011 12:42 (fifteen years ago)

never fucked a customer?

― owenf, Friday, 13 May 2011 13:09 (fifteen years ago)

never been in a riot

― the girl from spirea x (f. hazel), Friday, 13 May 2011 13:21 (fifteen years ago)

<q>What if they lean over the bar and kiss you on the cheek? This happened to a friend of mine.
― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, April 22, 2004 12:29 PM </q>

Thepassingoftime and allofitssickeningcrimes means I don't know whether this a) actually happened to a friend of mine b) happened to me, and "a friend of mine" was a joke or c) was complete bollocks.

― Alba, Friday, 13 May 2011 21:05 (fifteen years ago)

Also, I have forgotten how ilx tags work.

― Alba, Friday, 13 May 2011 21:06 (fifteen years ago)

wait, did they take away the ayingerbrau man-in-a-box???

― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 13 May 2011 21:08 (fifteen years ago)

i usually assume the female bartender assumes I'm a useless plebeian. and i order accordingly, tears in eyes.

― starland vocal banned (Neanderthal), Friday, 13 May 2011 21:10 (fifteen years ago)

They are on minimum wage guys, you have the power, don't forget.

― not_goodwin, Friday, 13 May 2011 21:43 (fifteen years ago)

The aussie barmaid at The Cheese took a shine to Michael Jones when we were there last week

This was only seven years ago. We haven't kept in touch.

― Michael Jones, Friday, 13 May 2011 22:09 (fifteen years ago)

I used to regularly fall in love with the coterie of beautiful girls who gained employment at the Golden Heart opposite Spitalfields. Seedy men would sit at the bar and talk to them. I wouldn't.
― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, April 22, 2004 2:23 PM

Good Lord, I was back ther recently and nothing had changed, except the barmaids had got even more beautiful.

― Alba, Friday, 13 May 2011 22:33 (fifteen years ago)

six years pass...

If you’re there for the bartender, sit at the bar. Otherwise face out.

― calstars, Saturday, 18 November 2017 21:27 (eight years ago)

don't you have a specific thread for this

― fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Saturday, 18 November 2017 21:53 (eight years ago)

I stumbled on this thread and just had to revive 👌

― calstars, Saturday, 18 November 2017 22:04 (eight years ago)

Who else is at a bar? Is there an “at the bar” thread? Srsly

― calstars, Saturday, 18 November 2017 22:06 (eight years ago)

Should poll “where are you at this second?” and I would guess “my bed” would win

― calstars, Saturday, 18 November 2017 22:07 (eight years ago)

your bed must be pretty big!

― erry red flag (f. hazel), Saturday, 18 November 2017 22:09 (eight years ago)

: )

― calstars, Saturday, 18 November 2017 22:10 (eight years ago)

Dated the bartender girl for 7 years iirc tbh and fyi

― fake pato is kind of racist, dude (darraghmac), Saturday, 18 November 2017 22:31 (eight years ago)

do tell, d dog

― calstars, Saturday, 18 November 2017 22:34 (eight years ago)

tbf we didn't meet at the bar

― fake pato is kind of racist, dude (darraghmac), Saturday, 18 November 2017 22:47 (eight years ago)

Go on

― calstars, Saturday, 18 November 2017 23:14 (eight years ago)

who's trollin who
and who's bein true

― fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Saturday, 18 November 2017 23:14 (eight years ago)

The girl at the bar, my friends, is you

― ur-oik (rip van wanko), Sunday, 19 November 2017 00:51 (eight years ago)

I am currently at a bar where do I collect my ilx points

― officer sonny bonds, lytton pd (mayor jingleberries), Sunday, 19 November 2017 03:05 (eight years ago)

You've not really understood the whole FP thing, clearly.

― Mark G, Sunday, 19 November 2017 09:53 (eight years ago)

I’m at a bar for the second time in 18 hours. Last time I was transcribbling from one notebook to another and planning my work for the remainder of the month so I feel less stressed about Monday. Now I’m gonna destroy some tater tots and a breakfast sandwich.

― El Tomboto, Sunday, 19 November 2017 17:09 (eight years ago)

"I always felt that I was pursuing mutual feelings"
- Charlie Rose

― calstars, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 00:15 (eight years ago)

She wasn't a bartender, she was the law

― brimstead, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 00:26 (eight years ago)

tfw when you try to hit on the bartender but the bartender is judge dredd

― It happens sometimes. People just explode. Natural causes. (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 21 November 2017 00:30 (eight years ago)

SHIT OK i didn't know about the charlie rose when i made that non sequitur post

― brimstead, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 01:16 (eight years ago)

seven years pass...

She wasn’t just a bartender, she was also your mom

― calstars, Sunday, 1 December 2024 00:14 (one year ago)

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