Game: Contradictory Proverbs

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Was at work today and I heard one of my co-teachers say "Out of sight, out of mind" over the telephone. About two minutes later the janitor was walking around and muttered in his fractured English "Absence makes the heart grow stronger."

Which prompted me to think of other pairs of contradictory proverbs. Surely there are some, right?

― The Second Drummer Drowned (Atila the Honeybun), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 00:39 (twenty-two years ago)

"Don't shit where you eat." vs "Always shit where you eat."

― Huck, Tuesday, 27 April 2004 00:52 (twenty-two years ago)

haha Huck!

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 01:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Look before you leap vs. He who hesitates is lost.

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 01:13 (twenty-two years ago)

"Let sleeping dogs lie" vs "love the one you're with"

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 01:23 (twenty-two years ago)

"He who hesitates is lost." vs. "Measure once, cut twice"

― The Second Drummer Drowned (Atila the Honeybun), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 01:30 (twenty-two years ago)

"A stitch in time saves nine" vs. "We'll fix it in post"

― jazz odysseus, Tuesday, 27 April 2004 02:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Is that like, a tech-proverb or something? heh.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 02:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think people mean for it to be the proverb it is.

― jazz odysseus, Tuesday, 27 April 2004 02:31 (twenty-two years ago)

"The early bird catches the worm" vs. "Good things come to those who wait"

― jazz odysseus, Tuesday, 27 April 2004 02:34 (twenty-two years ago)

"Great minds think alike; fools seldom differ" folded in half vs. itself

― jazz odysseus, Tuesday, 27 April 2004 02:35 (twenty-two years ago)

"use according to directions" vs "rinse, then repeat"

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 03:22 (twenty-two years ago)

"You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" vs "why the fuck are you trying to catch flies, jasper?"

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 03:24 (twenty-two years ago)

"Time flies when you're having fun" vs. "Aw, Mom, I hate timing flies"

― jazz odysseus, Tuesday, 27 April 2004 03:28 (twenty-two years ago)

"necessity is the mother of invention" vs "never mix your liquors"

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 03:32 (twenty-two years ago)

"necessity is the mother of invention" vs. "like mother, like daughter", in that necessity doesn't resemble invention.

― jazz odysseus, Tuesday, 27 April 2004 03:34 (twenty-two years ago)

"A stitch in time saves nine" vs. "We'll fix it in post"

haha!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 04:13 (twenty-two years ago)

"A bird in the hand..." vs. "...my cold, dead hands."

― Huck, Tuesday, 27 April 2004 04:26 (twenty-two years ago)

"Live every day as if it's your last" vs. "Today is the first day of the rest of your life" - this isn't necessarily a contradiction, but it doesn't help if you want to feel like getting out of bed in the morning.

― jazz odysseus, Tuesday, 27 April 2004 04:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Sancho Panza to thread.

― Dave Amos, Tuesday, 27 April 2004 07:20 (twenty-two years ago)

"Time flies when you're having fun" vs. "Aw, Mom, I hate timing flies"
-- jazz odysseus (nomorespa...), April 27th, 2004 5:28 AM. (link)

I had a genuine Laugh Out Loud moment! ha ha ha ha!

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 07:53 (twenty-two years ago)

"Too many cooks spoil the broth" vs. "Many hands make light work".

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 09:33 (twenty-two years ago)

"Actions speak louder than words" vs. "The pen is mightier than the sword"

― Vinnie (vprabhu), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 13:33 (twenty-two years ago)

"Let sleeping dogs lie" vs "love the one you're with"

Is that what 'let sleeping dogs lie' means? I just thought it meant you should let people have a nice lie-in.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 13:46 (twenty-two years ago)

"If you do that too much, your face will stick like that." vs "Practice makes perfect."

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 13:59 (twenty-two years ago)

seventeen years pass...

Almost started this thread, then realize this exists.

"Never judge a book by its cover" vs "The first impression is usually the correct one"

― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Saturday, 8 May 2021 02:57 (five years ago)

Also:

"Get the hardest thing out of the way first" vs "Always take the easiest hill first"

― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Saturday, 8 May 2021 02:58 (five years ago)

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" vs. "out of sight, out of mind."

― sharpening the contraindications (Aimless), Saturday, 8 May 2021 03:10 (five years ago)

― The Second Drummer Drowned (Atila the Honeybun), Monday, April 26, 2004 7:39 PM (seventeen years ago) bookmarkflaglink

― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Saturday, 8 May 2021 03:19 (five years ago)

^ "people who copy are always one step behind" vs. "talent borrows, genius steals"

― Vinnie, Saturday, 8 May 2021 05:54 (five years ago)

"I shall leave you as you left me. As you left her. Marooned for all eternity at the center of a dead planet. Buried alive… buried alive" vs. "KHAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

― Philip Nunez, Saturday, 8 May 2021 07:09 (five years ago)

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