Will you help us, Ned Ragget?

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I realize that this is a lot of pressure, but in these dark daze of Bushco, Hair Dye, and ride pimping, we need a ray of light. And you Ned always deliver. Please tell us nice stories, of your nice Dad, Kevin Shields, or puppies.
And the Alex in NYC can talk about is new baby and then be cynical and smart and...
then I won't be so lost and sad anymore.

― Speedy (Speedy Gonzalas), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 06:39 (twenty-two years ago)

"his new baby"

― Speedy (Speedy Gonzalas), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 06:40 (twenty-two years ago)

you spelt his name wrong

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 06:41 (twenty-two years ago)

with an 'f' haw haw

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 06:42 (twenty-two years ago)

"tt" then. Wow, Blount you are very "moodernoficious" aren't you? \,!,, ;)

― Speedy (Speedy Gonzalas), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 07:01 (twenty-two years ago)

heavens! i kill you now ; )

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 07:02 (twenty-two years ago)

chot op estupids

― Pablo Cruise (chaki), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 07:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry, just drunk. That emoticon was an attempt to flip the bird. It seems like there should be some way to do that. But, I am appalled at my horrific spelling.
It seems like this place is very "down" right now and I was hoping for some pleasantness.In vain, it seems.

― Speedy (Speedy Gonzalas), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 07:19 (twenty-two years ago)

hakuna matata!

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 07:25 (twenty-two years ago)

it means 'no worries'

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 07:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Er.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 13:16 (twenty-two years ago)

This is seriously the first time "Ned Faggot" had ever occurred to me. I kinda wish I didn't like you, N!

― Mr Mime (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 13:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh geez Mrs. Contbreath got off pretty lightly too really

― Mr Mime (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 13:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha.

Anyway, please, to go the distance with my name in sixth grade terms, "Nerd Faggot" is your only solution. As a couple of people discovered, to my lack of joy at the time.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 13:58 (twenty-two years ago)

my old classmate Joey Ballsack sez you had it easy & to quit complaining Ned

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 14:28 (twenty-two years ago)

As does my cousin, Astronomical Cuntface.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 14:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, well, you both suck. There.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 14:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Damn my subtlety

― Mr Mime (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 14:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I knew a guy in school whose name was Eli Rich, and he told me people used to call him Smelly Bitch. The bullies at his school were poetic geniuses.

― Sym (shmuel), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 14:32 (twenty-two years ago)

You people ain't got nothin on a girl I knew in school named Mai Lai. Having jerks abuse your REAL NAME is just that extra-bit worse.

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 14:33 (twenty-two years ago)

"Hey! Are you gonna be MY LAY today?" and the like...

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 14:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I got called "Andpoo" once. It didn't catch on.

― Mr Mime (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 14:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I got "Rob the slob", "Nuts & Bolts", or "Bolt-ON" (which is why the new O2 ad campaign for texts messages is so alarming to me).

I thought they were all pretty weak.

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 14:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I got called "Nigger" a few times.

― Threadkilla Ultimo (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 16:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Ned, did you go to your cousin's(?) art opening the other Friday? If so, how was it? I wanted to go, but wasn not able to.

― dean!dean!dean (deangulberry), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 16:44 (twenty-two years ago)

they had some real fun with my last name

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 16:45 (twenty-two years ago)

What could they possibly do with a name like slutsky???

― El Diablo Curmudgeonbotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 16:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Was not able to, Dean, but will be meeting up with him to see it in a couple of weeks.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 16:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I got called "Nigger" a few times

me too. Mostly 'colored', though, 'cause in the South they're polite :)

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 16:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey Dan & Donna: I have always wondered: like, whaddaya do when somebody calls you nigger? I mean I can't even...I imagine myself goin' "I can do 20 years, lemme kill this motherfucker and get it over with."

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah thats a good question. Reminds me of that SNL skit w/Richard Pryor.

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 16:55 (twenty-two years ago)

well, when it's happened to me, it's usually cracker-ass crackers in passing (in a Dodge Charger whose horn plays "Dixie". Seriously). So I didn't really feel like running after them. Or...well, let Dan take over, I've got so many worst-case scenarios it's frightening. Kill Whitey :)

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 16:58 (twenty-two years ago)

My coping strategies (listed in chronological order):

When you are 7: You run away and tell your parents/the nearest authority figure. Child who called you "nigger" gets in so much trouble that it's awe-inspiring; I once watched a man beat his son in the middle of his front yard for calling me a nigger while simultaneously forcing the kid to apologize to me. That is one of my fondest childhood memories.

When you are 16: Hunt the kid down, grab him by the ears, bang his head against a wall multiple times and then throw him into a locker.

When you are 18: Write an article about it in the school newspaper asking for information about the coward who stealth-niggered you so that you can beat his brains out with a baseball bat. Alternately, when it happens to your face, laugh at the girl and tell her she's a worthless piece of horse-faced trailer-trash who has nothing to look forward to beyond teen pregnancy and a lifetime of welfare, then gleefully point and laugh when your prediction comes true less than twelve months later.

There were some other incidents that happened later, but the people involved were much too sophisticated to stoop to niggering me.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:00 (twenty-two years ago)

(I am not entirely convinced that "nigger" works as a verb but I am giggling too much to care.)

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:01 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.unamerican.com/images/shirts/whiteywillpay.jpg

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:03 (twenty-two years ago)

"stealth-niggered"

Alternately, when it happens to your face, laugh at the girl and tell her she's a worthless piece of horse-faced trailer-trash who has nothing to look forward to beyond teen pregnancy and a lifetime of welfare, then gleefully point and laugh when your prediction comes true less than twelve months later
This is OTM. My mom was the caseworker for this demographic in our county, so they had to go through her for gov'ment cheese, etc. Oh, how we laughed

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:03 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah it sounds a little gavin mcinnes

― g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

;-)

― g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

"a little"

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

(Sadly I don't have any good stories about coping with being oreoed. That actually bothers me a lot more [ie, is more hurtful to me] than getting niggered.)

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

There were some other incidents that happened later, but the people involved were much too sophisticated to stoop to niggering me

Yeah I 'member that Oliver Goldsmith book, She Stoops to Nigger - cracking good read, that

x-post also oreo as a verb has nowhere near the giggle-factor

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:07 (twenty-two years ago)

The crucial difference between me and Gavin is as follows:

a) I am not trying to glorify/glamorize the act of calling someone else a nigger.

b) I actually know what the fuck I'm talking about.

Momus to thread, 500 responses by Thursday, etc.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:08 (twenty-two years ago)

So but back on the questions-I've-always-wanted-to-ask-someone front, when your slam the kid into the locker, does he run tell mom/teacher or does he sorta accept his beating since authorities aren't really likely to be sympathetic to his cause?

I hope I'm not an asshole for asking this stuff

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

(i had to google gavin mcinnes to figure out who you guys were talking about)

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

(Sadly I don't have any good stories about coping with being oreoed. That actually bothers me a lot more [ie, is more hurtful to me] than getting niggered

yeah, that's a sight worse. I can trace my first oreoing back to the time I was seen buying the "How Soon Is Now?" 12" (How the Smiths Ruined My Life!)

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

x-post I'm not trying to be an asshole - I'm certainly in no place to judge since I will never have to be called such a thing, but do you think calling someone 'trailer trash' or 'cracker' (or my favortie "cracker-ass cracker") back to them is "going down to their level"? My mother said not to go down to these sorts of people's levels.

I mean, clearly they are in fact white trash or some such thing on the basis of using the epithet.

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

That's funny

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Seeing as the act that generated the beating was him drawing pictures of my recently-deceased brother under the wheels of a semi titled "NIGGER KILLER", he basically accepted it as fair play.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:15 (twenty-two years ago)

(oh and I knew people who proudly called themselves 'reverse-oreos' which I found very amusing)

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:15 (twenty-two years ago)

It pleases me greatly that Ned's thread contains this discussion.

― dean!dean!dean (deangulberry), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 16 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

when [oh, someone] gets here and starts talking about how using the word strips it of its power to wound I am gonna cry

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Also, listen to the wrong kind of music, get good grades, have almost exclusively white friends, etc.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Seems to have lots of power to me. I wouldn't even dare type it!

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Dan OTM; I still have twinges of guilt about stupid stuff like not keeping up w/hip-hop, etc

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

HOW MUCH MONEY IS A GOOD AMG REVIEW WORTH?

― NUMBER 1 TERRY RILEY FAN (ex machina), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Someday I would really like to sit down with the four other black kids from my high school and compare notes on going through that cesspit.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

(haha xpost DAMN YOU JON WILLIAMS FOR MAKING AN ON-TOPIC POST)

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

that should be "Teddy Riley" for the purposes o' this thread, Jon. Now get back to your Wolf Eyes

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

"black ladies are excitable"

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:37 (twenty-two years ago)

xpost yay Ned! You are an honorary 'reverse-oreo'. or something.

Aw. :-)

I'm actually quite happy with the way the thread has turned into this discussion! Speedy's drunken cry last night was a fine thing.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Some black guy called me Bachman Turner Overdrive once. I took it as a compliment.

― scott seward (scott seward), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

"yo Devo!"

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I should have asked him, "the whole band? Do these pants make me look really fat?"

― scott seward (scott seward), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Some black guy called me Bachman Turner Overdrive once. I took it as a compliment.

He wasn't insulting you because you were white, he was insulting you because he thought you were Canadian.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

i think it was more of a long-haired-hick-in-plaid-shirt kinda thing.

― scott seward (scott seward), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Precisely.

*hides from Sean C.*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:43 (twenty-two years ago)

you Tragically Hip lookin' motherfucker

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:43 (twenty-two years ago)

*shakes fist*

― dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you look anything like these guys, Scott?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/guide/images/220/smashienicey_1.jpg

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

YIkes! Who they? I mean, no.

― scott seward (scott seward), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Is one of them Burton Cummings?

― scott seward (scott seward), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Smashy and Nicey have somehow become terrifying over the last ten years.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:49 (twenty-two years ago)

It's noted BTO fans Dave Nice and Mike Smash, who are singlehandedly responsible for the rise of Britpop.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:49 (twenty-two years ago)

smashy and nicey were always terrifying!

Ned, I was meaning to ask, what is your opinion on clowns?

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I had no idea. They ARE kinda cool looking. Are they on t.v.? Or just radio.

― scott seward (scott seward), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Clowns are infested with the rotting stink of the demon world below. They are drunk terrorists.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:50 (twenty-two years ago)

http://images.google.ca/images?q=tbn:FAbhKuPC_DYJ:artsweb.uwaterloo.ca/~crtfinni/billbo.jpg

― dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Ned, rent that movie All The Real Girls if you haven't seen it. There is an amazingly funny clown scene in it.

― scott seward (scott seward), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Is that Tom Green?

― scott seward (scott seward), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Scott, are we talking Shakes the Clown-style funny? Better, worse?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Shakes the Clown is the pinnacle

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

yup - "hick-in-plaid-shirt"

x-poost

― dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:55 (twenty-two years ago)

No, it's just one scene. Patricia Clarkson plays the main dude's mother and she is a party clown. There is one scene where she makes her son help her out on a job and it's just really funny.

― scott seward (scott seward), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I still want to hear Tom Green's rap album. He had one, didn't he?

― scott seward (scott seward), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

ya.
umm...
organized rhyme - "check the o r"
you don't want to hear it.

― dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 17:59 (twenty-two years ago)

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00005K3O4.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 18:02 (twenty-two years ago)

^there's one for ya, ned^

― dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 18:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Mickey Rooney stars in this made-for-TV docudrama as circus clown Jack Thum, who aids his wife (Anne Jackson) in raising
dozens of orphans; despite learning he is dying, Jack still struggles to earn money to support his growing brood. -- Jason
Ankeny

*shudder*

― scott seward (scott seward), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Mickey Rooney's "Bill" movies are better.

http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0082075/

― dean!dean!dean (deangulberry), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 18:12 (twenty-two years ago)

check the OR you like it so far!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 18:13 (twenty-two years ago)

you love the OR!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 18:13 (twenty-two years ago)

ned you're such a lightning rod for controversy! why you always have to be so up in everyone's face? your confrontational ways are ruining ILX!

― Dan I., Wednesday, 28 April 2004 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Silent Night, Deadly Night 5 was a gem:

n this horror film, malicious toymaker Joe Petto (Mickey Rooney) and his creepy son, Pino
(Brian Bremer), terrorize the residents of a small town with the deadly toys they create. After her
husband is killed by one of Petto's toys, Sarah (Jane Higginson) and her troubled son Derek
(William Thorne) set out to stop the evil toymaker.

― scott seward (scott seward), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 18:18 (twenty-two years ago)

The ending credits show the real Bill meeting people at the Center For The Retarded in Houston.

THEY ARE CENTRALIZED!!! CONCENTRATED, IF YOU WILL!!!

I wonder if it is camp.

― dean!dean!dean (deangulberry), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 18:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I just saw Diner for the first time the other night. Isn't it weird that a movie with Mickey Rourke, Daniel Stern, Paul Reiser, and Steve Guttenburg could actually be watchable?

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 18:26 (twenty-two years ago)

don't forget Kevin Bacon

― Sym (shmuel), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 18:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Looks like I already did.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

diner rules! they're all at the top of their games, especially creepy kevin bacon. it could really be a perfect movie if it wasn't for that stupid ending at the strip club when all of the sudden you realize, oh yeah, this is an 80s movie.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 23:48 (twenty-two years ago)

this thread has taken many interesting turns

― Sym (shmuel), Thursday, 29 April 2004 00:17 (twenty-two years ago)

the clowns are robots, btw.

― dyson (dyson), Thursday, 29 April 2004 02:45 (twenty-two years ago)

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