A grand doesn't come for free -- contains Nick Hornby content

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http://www.guardian.co.uk/comment/story/0,3604,1205668,00.html

16-30 men not big readers apparently. Bit is Nick Hornby really the answer?

― Enrique (Enrique), Thursday, 29 April 2004 09:38 (twenty-two years ago)

"DJ Taylor is the drummer with Gay Dad"

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 29 April 2004 09:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Penguin will offer a monthly prize of £1,000 to the first man spotted reading a featured title (the June book is Nick Hornby's 31 Songs), with the same amount going to the first woman whom the company's surveillance unit sees "chatting up a man reading that title".

So sitting on an Islington train platform with a copy of 31 Songs is a virtual guarantee that loads of women will try and chat you up?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 29 April 2004 09:42 (twenty-two years ago)

JtN wins already. Is it true that Carlin is 'in' 'High Fidelity' in some form? Makes his move to former NH stomping-ground Time Out all the more intriguing.

― Enrique (Enrique), Thursday, 29 April 2004 09:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I keep trying to read it but I can't make head nor tail of what the point is.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 29 April 2004 09:46 (twenty-two years ago)

The most satisfying piece of book promotion I was ever involved in had nothing to do with being chatted up. When Susy, the office junior at my first job, diffidently wondered if I could recommend a book for her to read I told her - in an immensely patronising tone, and thinking the choice altogether beyond her - to read Vanity Fair. Asking her a fortnight later if she'd enjoyed it I was humiliated by her rapt enthusiasm. Gratifying though this was, I see now that my approach was fundamentally wrong. What I really should have done was to sidle up to her and murmur: "Is this a Penguin Modern Classic in my pocket, or am I just glad to see you?"

What a charming anecdote.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 29 April 2004 09:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I was given 31 Songs as a present a year ago. It would take a guaranteed grand to get me to read it again. I may slip the dust jacket over a more interesting tome during July. If any ILX lady would like to 'accidentally' stumble across me reading this on July 1, I will of course cut you in on the prize money. And, no, you will not have to pull me. I'm not going to give that much money.

― Canada Briggs (Canada Briggs), Thursday, 29 April 2004 09:49 (twenty-two years ago)

FYI: DJT has written at least two articles in praise of the Jam, the punks who could 'really cut it'. More and more I think Oxbridge needs a good firestorm to clean these bastards out.

― Enrique (Enrique), Thursday, 29 April 2004 09:50 (twenty-two years ago)

creepy?

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 29 April 2004 09:50 (twenty-two years ago)

[...]liable to leave the average writer in a quandary. He or she wants to sell books, but would prefer a readership that appreciates those books for what they are

Worst quandry ever!

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 29 April 2004 09:52 (twenty-two years ago)

DJT is such a cretin.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 29 April 2004 09:52 (twenty-two years ago)

There was a rather less awful piece on the same theme in a another paper recently (IoS?) from a novelist who was embarrassed by the review copies of their book being sent out with a pair of pants.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 29 April 2004 09:53 (twenty-two years ago)

The most satisfying piece of book promotion I was ever involved in involved being a dickhead to a junior in an office I worked in. In years to come I would relate this story in the national news, ending it with an awkward crap joke about erections

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 29 April 2004 09:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Was the book wearing the pants?

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 29 April 2004 09:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I appreciate books *as* books; there's no namby-pamby idealism at my end, DJ.
a) pingwing classic would never fit in anyone's hip pocket
b) they aren't really cock-shaped

― Enrique (Enrique), Thursday, 29 April 2004 09:56 (twenty-two years ago)

How do you know what shape DJT's cock is?

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 29 April 2004 09:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I WAS that office junior

― Enrique (Enrique), Thursday, 29 April 2004 09:58 (twenty-two years ago)

perhaps cock shaped books are the key to solving their problem

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 29 April 2004 09:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Ronan, one career is clearly not enough for you.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 29 April 2004 10:00 (twenty-two years ago)

The largest one wins the booker prize, every year, by default.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 29 April 2004 10:01 (twenty-two years ago)

And the Orange prize?

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 29 April 2004 10:02 (twenty-two years ago)

The smallest.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 29 April 2004 10:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Wooh, dodgy sexual politics there, Ro.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 29 April 2004 10:04 (twenty-two years ago)

It was an unanswerable question.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 29 April 2004 10:05 (twenty-two years ago)

What would you suggest? Clearly the first idea is a sound one.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 29 April 2004 10:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, 'biggest twat' doesn't make me look good.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 29 April 2004 10:07 (twenty-two years ago)

AHEM...back to thread, chaps...

Is it true that Carlin is 'in' 'High Fidelity' in some form? Makes his move to former NH stomping-ground Time Out all the more intriguing.

Yes. Apparently the bloke in a suit coming into the shop asking for the theme to Fireball XL5 was based on me. And I did indeed go into Rock On Records in Camden about a decade ago asking for said single in my lunch break, and indeed I was besuited at the time.

Oh, and when I get to do my first TO singles column, which will hopefully be within the next couple of weeks, I have been given licence to use the words "studium" and "punctum" in the course of said column.

― Jesus H. Clapton, Thursday, 29 April 2004 10:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Best licence ever!

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 29 April 2004 10:09 (twenty-two years ago)

What about "biggest twat"

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 29 April 2004 10:09 (twenty-two years ago)

31 Songs is even worse than How to be Good. That takes some doing.

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Thursday, 29 April 2004 10:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Okay, so let's get back to winning the grand. Penguin's offices are down the Strand so lurk there with your Hornby, keeping an eye out for posh young women who still wear grosgrain-trimmed pseudo-Voyage cardigans and kitten heels (aka publicists and marketing folks). Also, if you see a short, bespectacled guy in an Agnes B. suit go from the building to a rather cute Vespa, make sure he sees you - that's NH's publisher.

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 29 April 2004 10:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Rock On... did Gazza Mulholland also work there? In which case, well Harrumph...

― ENRQ (Enrique), Thursday, 29 April 2004 10:14 (twenty-two years ago)

My sister works at Penguin. Maybe I'll ask her for tips.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 29 April 2004 10:17 (twenty-two years ago)

A good friend of mine works there... sorry N.

― Enrique (Enrique), Thursday, 29 April 2004 10:22 (twenty-two years ago)

"Sorry N." ?

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 29 April 2004 10:25 (twenty-two years ago)

N, if your sis works there you can't win jack - standard competition rules, I'm afraid.

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 29 April 2004 10:32 (twenty-two years ago)

This is the worst namedrop faceoff ever!

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 29 April 2004 10:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, I bow out now.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 29 April 2004 10:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't be certain, but I think Enrique is apologising for what he did to your sister, Nicky.

― Tim (Tim), Thursday, 29 April 2004 10:45 (twenty-two years ago)

no, no, N. has this thing about me menshing my frenz is all. obviously not that big a thing after all though!

― ENRQ (Enrique), Thursday, 29 April 2004 11:08 (twenty-two years ago)

my bleddy work had a "win a mini iPod" thing on the front page a while back that pointed us to a poor flash game to publicise some or other rubbish kids fantasy thing. I completed it and then read the T&C and it specifically excludes employees of HC. arses.

― Jaunty Alan (Alan), Thursday, 29 April 2004 11:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Ahh. No that was just in 'well my friends don't do that' = 'it doesn't happen' contexts, Enrique.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 29 April 2004 11:15 (twenty-two years ago)

the guardian in printing shitty reactionary crit by whining overprivileged cunt shocker

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 29 April 2004 11:25 (twenty-two years ago)

LOL. I've just realized that 9/10 of my posts are anti-Grauniad. And the thing is, I don't have that much to whine abt. I never pay for it, and the only time I pitched 'em they responded v naicely and said it was innaresting but they already had it covered (hem hem). But it gets my mo'fucking hackles up.

― ENRQ (Enrique), Thursday, 29 April 2004 11:27 (twenty-two years ago)

i've given up

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 29 April 2004 11:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I've got purdy far past those gatekeepers and they still piss me off, but mostly because of how people who work for them wind up being treated on occasion, esp if pregnant.

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 29 April 2004 11:43 (twenty-two years ago)

anyway, isn't dj taylor just echoing johnathan franzen's position in his spat w/ oprah. personally, if i write stuff i just want people to read it.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 29 April 2004 11:46 (twenty-two years ago)

and which gatekeepers are these suzy, i'm lost

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 29 April 2004 11:47 (twenty-two years ago)

personally, if i write stuff i just want people to read it.

apart from most of the stuff i write here, which i would like people to ignore, in general.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 29 April 2004 11:48 (twenty-two years ago)

btw, suzy, i pitched es magazine a piece on declining standards within the butlering profession the other day.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 29 April 2004 11:49 (twenty-two years ago)

cf fresh prince of bel air!!

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 29 April 2004 11:57 (twenty-two years ago)

genius!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 29 April 2004 12:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I too dispute the reading makes you attractive thing, perhaps I'm reading the wrong books (why don't chicks dig Hamsun?). I certainly won't read Hornby, his books are in the top 40.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 29 April 2004 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Read Hamsun - Pull a Nazi

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Thursday, 29 April 2004 15:28 (twenty-two years ago)

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