Father beats son with beef jerky!

Oddly Enough - Reuters

Lawmaker Aims to Ban Hog-Dog Fights

By Michael Depp and Russell McCulley

NEW ORLEANS (Reuters) - A Louisiana state legislator is trying to outlaw a violent
spectator sport: fights pitting vicious dogs against wild hogs.

Rep. Warren Triche, a Democrat from Thibodaux, has introduced a bill that would ban the
bloodiest forms of "hog-doggin," as the pig-versus-canine duels are known in the rural corners of
his state.

"My motivation is that it is an absolute cruelty, and damned well sadistic," Triche told Reuters in
an interview on Wednesday.

The bill passed the Louisiana House on Tuesday after Triche showed bloody videos of squealing
feral hogs being attacked by specially trained dogs. But it must now go the state Senate where
Triche fears it may be mired in the mud by opponents friendly to the rural contests.

"This is a hillbilly attitude. You could film 'Deliverance 2' and '3' with this kind of attitude," Triche
said, referring to the 1972 film that depicted the ordeal suffered by vacationing city dwellers at the
hands of a vicious band of rural residents.

Even so, rural traditions run deep in largely agricultural Louisiana, where the phrase "Louisiana:
Third World and Proud of It" can be seen on car bumper stickers.

Louisiana is also one of just two states in the union that has successfully resisted efforts to ban
cockfighting, a duel to the death between roosters armed with razors on their claws.

Jimmy Young, who runs an annual hog-doggin event in Winnfield, Louisiana, called "Uncle Earl's
Hog Dog Trials," said not all of the contests are brutal. In fact, his event -- which draws about 5,000
spectators a year -- is specifically exempted from regulation under Triche's bill.

In Young's contest, owners show off their dogs' skills at cornering hogs, which are useful when
hunting the wild pigs.

He casts the battle to outlaw hog-doggin as one "between rural and urban," and believes it is
hypocritical in light of the state's permissiveness toward cockfighting.

"It's all right for a man to strap knives on two roosters and let them fight to the death," said Young.
"That's not cruel, but it's cruel for us to remove hogs off our property that have destroyed thousands
of dollars?"

Feral hogs are a considerable nuisance to farmers and ranchers in Louisiana and neighboring
Texas, where the massive, tusked pigs cause property damage.

"What are those?"

*porn music*

Son, when you skip school
I'll beat you with my meat tool.

When are Deliverance 2 and 3 coming out, anyway?

From Fox News:

Two Florida teenagers were arrested for making sausages of mass destruction, the Fort Myers News-Press reported last week.

The Lee County sheriff's department said the pair, who were not named because of their ages, poured homemade napalm (search) into a 20-ounce beverage bottle, strapped on two aerosol spray cans and then used links of kielbasa to tie the whole bundle together.

"Everybody laughs when they call me about this," admitted sheriff’s spokeswoman Ileana LiMarzi.

Last Monday, the two boys apparently put the wiener bomb in a wooded lot near some houses a few blocks from Interstate 75 in Fort Myers, but it failed to go off.

Authorities said it could have started a serious suburban fire, and local residents were evacuated.

Deputies, tipped off by a phone call, arrested one boy, a Dunbar Middle School student, at home and the other at Estero High School.

The Southwest Florida Bomb Squad (search) blew up the kielbasa bomb at about 11 a.m. the same morning.