I have heard that a female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate

Suffice to say, those ferrets never got WNV. Or anything else for that matter.

there is a program on PBS tonight entitled "Ferrets: The Pursuit of Excellence"

FUCKING FANTASTIC! :D

I Can't Stand My Filthy Hippie Owner, an editorial by a ferret.

"I was just trying to make it across the living room to hide behind a big stack of dirty cereal bowls when he lunged at me and spilled bong water all down my fricking back."

TEN THINGS A FERRET ASKS OF ITS PEOPLE

1. My life is likely to last 6-9 years. Any separation
from you will be painful for me. Remember that before
you buy me.

2. Give me time to understand what you want from me.

3. Place your trust in me -- it is crucial for my well being.

4. Don’t be angry at me for long, and don’t lock me up as
punishment. You have your work, your entertainment,
and your friends. I have only you and your toes.

5. Talk to me sometimes. Even if I do not understand the
words, I understand your voice when you are speaking
to me.

6. Be aware that however you trust me, I will never forget.

7. Remember before you punish me that I have jaws that could
easily crush the bones of your hand, but I have chosen not to
bite you that hard.

8. Before you scold me for being “uncooperative”, “obstinate”
or “sad”, ask yourself if something might be bothering me.
Perhaps I am not getting the right attention or I’m sick.

9. Take care of me when I get old; you too will grow old.

10. Go with me on difficult journeys. Never say, “I can’t
bear to watch it” or “Let it happen in my absence”. Please
never say, “Let the vet do it”. Everything is easier for me
if you are there.

Be aware that however you trust me, I will never forget.

This is something I would never want a human saying to me, let alone a barely domesticated needlejaws.

I'm giving this list to all future S.O.'s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqrEw901KXE

That list is seriously incredibly sad.

i was going to say... it's so heartbreaking!!

10. Go with me on difficult journeys. Never say, “I can’t
bear to watch it” or “Let it happen in my absence”. Please
never say, “Let the vet do it”. Everything is easier for me
if you are there.

this really seems like a lonely ferret wrote it :(

the pathos

still very moving.

You have your work, your entertainment, and your friends. I have only you and your toes.

So the lesson here is, never think of your current relationship as dysfunctional. It could be SO much worse.

that ferret and i share a soul. :(

that little text haunted me as i tried to sleep last night

That is why I do not read a lot of pet care sites, they always have haunting stuff like that, like, "I am a very lonely and sad lizard and the only thing that brings me some respite from my hellish life is a heat rock and daily misting, so why are you not doing that?" Or like if you don't let your guinea pig run around 5+ hours a day and make sure he or she has a cage w/at least 10 square feet of floor space, you feel like a right bastard. And then there's always the REALLY sad part where they explain how to tell your kids what happened to said pet after death.

the pet's or yours?

Or if you don't use professional litmus testing on your goldfish's water that you have ruined the life of your little goldfish.

After the pet's death. "THere's a place called Rainbow Heaven where all the puppies play..." and then I start welling up and reaching for the tissues. But I am quite sensitive about pets.

the go with me on difficult journeys thing is so harsh

What does all this have to do with beating up Andy Dick?

Please never say, “Let the vet do it”

^^^ This strikes me as really bad advice.

11. Please be kind enough to reconcile all my pissing and shitting and chewing and biting and stinking everything up with the fact that I am the all-wise and ever loving animal mensch. I will reward you in the afterlife.

Please don't start with that Rainbow Bridge business...

Oh man, I am sorry, this thread is just getting to be the abyss. I plan to gaze not into it. :( Sorry guys.

everyone otm.

the ferret list is still so heartbreaking

TEN THINGS ILX ASKS OF ITS PEOPLE

1. My life is likely to last 6-9 years. Any separation
from you will be painful for me. Remember that before
you start posting to me.

2. Give me time to understand what you want from me.

3. Place your trust in me -- it is crucial for my well being.

4. Don’t be angry at me for long, and don’t block me as
punishment. You have your work, your entertainment,
and your friends. I have only you and your posts.

5. Talk to me sometimes. Even if I do not understand the
words, I understand your voice when you are speaking
to me.

6. Be aware that however you trust me, I will never forget.

7. Remember before you punish me that I have moderators that could
easily crush the bones of your hand, but they have chosen not to
bite you that hard.

8. Before you scold me for being “uncooperative”, “obstinate”
or “sad”, ask yourself if something might be bothering me.
Perhaps I am not getting the right attention or I’m sick.

9. Take care of me when I get old; you too will grow old.

10. Go with me on difficult journeys. Never say, “I can’t
bear to watch it” or “Let it happen in my absence”. Please
never say, “Let the vet do it”. Everything is easier for me
if you are there.

Everything is easier for me if you are there.

Oh no, this has made me cry actual teary tears at work.

BECAUSE IT'S SO TRUE

I don't think I'm going to let Laurel use the bathroom at my house ever, now.