Teach Me Culture

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I need to learn how to appreciate, appraise, and write about film and art (the kind in galleries I guess) by next Friday. The film part I think I can handle but the art part is like whoaaaa hamburgerrrsssssss. Aidez-moi!

― LC, Monday, 3 May 2004 04:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Um I know that pretty colors are pretty. Does that help?

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 3 May 2004 04:45 (twenty-two years ago)

they are also colors.

― mullygrubber (gaz), Monday, 3 May 2004 04:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Just shout "I know what I like, and that ain't art" a lot, and get drunk on red wine. That oughta do it.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 3 May 2004 04:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Insert random German-sounding words into your conversation. It's like the peppermint schnapps of the artsy crowd.

― Huck, Monday, 3 May 2004 04:48 (twenty-two years ago)

"Yes yes, but really his work pales next to Shnarfugrabben's."

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 3 May 2004 04:49 (twenty-two years ago)

sneak into some lectures at your nearest college of art.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Monday, 3 May 2004 04:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes well if you actually want to LEARN something you could do THAT.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 3 May 2004 04:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Stick the word 'post-' onto other words. "Oh yes, in this piece Dendiovanni* demonstrates his post-nihilist period. His choice of colour is very post-interventionist, fah-fah-fah-fah-fah."

* made-up name

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 3 May 2004 04:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't learn anything, just the big words that enable me to sound like I do.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Monday, 3 May 2004 04:51 (twenty-two years ago)

could you claim to speak for the everyman?

― mullygrubber (gaz), Monday, 3 May 2004 04:52 (twenty-two years ago)

its an appealing position and you don't have to pretend to know anything

― mullygrubber (gaz), Monday, 3 May 2004 04:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Say the word 'schadenfreude' at least twice. Chuck in a 'Dostoevsky' for good measure.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 3 May 2004 04:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Ummmm...I really don't think these suggestions are going to fool anyone for a minute.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Monday, 3 May 2004 04:55 (twenty-two years ago)

"As Gertrude Stein said to Chuck Berry at the opening of Al Capone's vault, 'These shoes! They're killing me!'"

― Huck, Monday, 3 May 2004 04:57 (twenty-two years ago)

"Warm drinks? What is this, England? Get me a cold red, stat. ... You what? Merlot's supposed to be warm? In your dreams sunshine. And fill it right to the top next time. No skimping. Chop chop."

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 3 May 2004 04:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Just go with the hamburgers thing.

― Aaron A., Monday, 3 May 2004 04:58 (twenty-two years ago)

"I got better art'n' that on the mudflaps of my F150!"

― Huck, Monday, 3 May 2004 05:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Fling poo at the paintings. Make sure to have someone you know call it performance art.

― Leeefuse 73 (Leee), Monday, 3 May 2004 05:07 (twenty-two years ago)

and remember, it's only performance art if it's yr own poo.

― Huck, Monday, 3 May 2004 05:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Namedrop Momus.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 3 May 2004 05:11 (twenty-two years ago)

"Isn't it a bit... obvious?" is a good reaction

― Aaron A., Monday, 3 May 2004 05:26 (twenty-two years ago)

can you grow a goatee by then? stroking one of those might help you make your case.

― Al (sitcom), Monday, 3 May 2004 06:11 (twenty-two years ago)

A Few Notes on the Culture by Iain M Banks.
Firstly, and most importantly: the Culture doesn't really exist. It's only a story. It only exists in my mind and the minds of the people who've read about it.
That having been made clear:
The Culture is a group-civilisation formed from seven or eight humanoid species, space-living elements of which established a loose federation approximately nine thousand years ago. The ships and habitats which formed the original alliance required each others' support to pursue and maintain their independence from the political power structures - principally those of mature nation-states and autonomous commercial concerns - they had evolved from. (...)

― Sébastien Chikara (Sébastien Chikara), Monday, 3 May 2004 06:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Yall aint helping. Are there any good sites to visit where I can see brief but strong critiques of art with accompanying pics?

― LC, Monday, 3 May 2004 08:30 (twenty-two years ago)

can you grow a goatse by then?
-- Al (hoteloper...), May 3rd, 2004.

Can I not?

― LC, Monday, 3 May 2004 09:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Find some reviews and memorise them, and just change the artist's name and title of the work. Also, the line "I know loads about art but I have no idea what I like" is a good one.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 3 May 2004 09:24 (twenty-two years ago)

for contemporary art

for video art

for online streaming lectures

― run it off (run it off), Monday, 3 May 2004 10:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Thanks, run. I think if I'm just honest about how I think things look it'll be okay - I just need a little help on the basic terminology and stuff.

― LC, Monday, 3 May 2004 10:22 (twenty-two years ago)

maybe you will be alright... It's not for a class is it?

(If any of my students turned up without doing any research and thought they could wing it by being honest, I'd have no sympathy with them at all.)

― run it off (run it off), Monday, 3 May 2004 10:28 (twenty-two years ago)

No, not a class - more like art columnist! Hahahaha!

― LC, Monday, 3 May 2004 10:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Just my attempt to help - three natural teachers who are not hard to read, not too obscure, and a good beginning point for the befuddled:

Matthew Collings for contemporary art:

http://www.newmediastudies.com/art/collings.htm

Sister Wenddy for art history:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/sisterwendy/

Robert Hughes for a bit of both:

http://www.artcyclopedia.com/robert_hughes.html

And if you can find this book by Anton Ehrenzweig, it's worth the hunt:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0520038452/wwwlink-software-21/026-4023075-6415617

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 3 May 2004 10:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Whoa, thanks mole, that Hughes guy is very easy to read and my educated cousin just AIMed me telling me he was hot shit too. Cheers!

― LC, Monday, 3 May 2004 11:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Yogurt. Bread. Beer. Wine. Cheese. These require culture. Everything else is just mind-forkery posturing. Which can be nice. Ah, such a tedius Weltanschauung prevails today. ;-)

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 3 May 2004 13:19 (twenty-two years ago)

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